She's a marshmallow.

Indie Veronica Mars. Any age, any verse. Mun is 25+. Written by PBK.

[bluestoplights-deactivated20180]

It’s a testament to “Veronica Mars” that the movie isn’t just an exercise in fan service and nostalgia for a television show long gone. Instead, it’s a sad, sharp statement on what happens when income inequality, police misconduct and racism compound each other, and how hard it is to win even limited change. (x)

[violetemerald]

    #bless this movie for aiming high and not just being fan service     #i mean that happened too     #but it really did more than that which is amazing     #veronica mars     #veronica mars movie     #vm movie

[whitesunlars]

insp

[neptunesmarshmallow]

errors were made

[neptunesmarshmallow]

moonoverbourbon:

They were royally screwed, but Nik wasn’t about to add that amount of stress onto an already stressful situation. Food was good, hot, filling – probably more than Veronica had gotten into herself in weeks. Nik had the sudden, overwhelming desire to make sure she was taken care of forever. He wanted her somewhere safe and warm, somewhere that they could forget anything bad had ever happened between them.

Somewhere where she wasn’t in danger.

He got himself comfortable (well, as comfortable as a cheap motel room could ever be), kicking off his shoes and settling down in one of the hard chairs. They were going to attempt mending things – if they survived – but he wasn’t going to press his luck tonight. His full intention had been to let Veronica have the bed.

The full-on tiredness of his body didn’t stop his mind from going over every bad mafia movie he’d ever seen. Witness protection? Was that even an option? Should they call the FBI? The police? Nik wasn’t entirely sure that leaving her father out of the loop was such a good idea, but he was willing to at least give her the benefit of the doubt. But…what did one do when they were being chased by the mob?

The thoughts trailed off when she came back from her shower. The first thing he noticed was how sad she looked, and it broke his heart. Nik wanted nothing more than to comfort her. He was already up and moving as she spoke, took the medicine, and settled down on the end of the bed.

I’ll get used to it.

But god, he wished she didn’t have to get used to any of this. Nik stopped in front of her, fingers brushing against the dark bob of her hair. “I love it,” he said, earnest to a fault. “I do. You are beautiful, Veronica.” She was, of course, but Nik really wanted her to feel good about herself – none of this was her doing, and it was awful that she had to suffer.

“Come.” He pulled her to her feet just long enough for him to turn down the gaudy comforter and sheets. “Rest. I won’t go anywhere. I promise.” Nik waited for her to crawl in between the sheets, and then he joined her. His arm looped around her body, pulling her in as close to him as he could get. He brushed fingers over her hair, slow and rhythmic, trying to lull some bit of peace into her.

“It’s not too fast,” he whispered, leaning in to press a feather-light kiss to her forehead. “It’s not. I would love nothing more.” Nik kissed the crown of her head, his nose filling with the scent of cheap shampoo and hair dye  - and it still felt more like home than anything had these past few months. “Sleep, love. I promise to be here when you wake.”

Tomorrow, Veronica was going to get her shit together, and start thinking about a serious plan. Tonight, she planned to wallow in her terrible haircut and eke every bit of comfort from Nik’s arms as she possibly could. She wasn’t shy. She draped herself over Nik’s side, ear against his chest, their legs tangled, and closed her eyes while he played with her hair.

She hoped it wouldn’t be too difficult to fix when all of this was over.

“I just kept thinking, if they got me, I’d never get a chance to tell you… any of this.” It was a little easier to talk when she didn’t have to look at him, when she could think about how his heart was beating in her ear, instead. Her fingers played over his side. Not trying to start anything; it was barely even sensual, just reminding herself of what it felt like to be able to touch him. She chemical scent wafted from her hair as she shifted her head. “And I promise you, if we get out of this – no, when we get out of this – I’ll never do anything to jeopardize this again.”

––

Veronica slept better than she had for some time. It was partly exhaustion, she was sure. Partly the relief of not being on her own in this. But mostly, it was Nik’s even, deep breathing, the warmth of his body.

For a moment, when she opened her eyes, the last few months were forgotten. But not for long.

She woke early. No surprise there, having gone to bed so early. The sun was barely out, and Veronica stared at the window for a long time. She felt stronger, capable. And utterly determined. She could feel Nik pressed against her back, his arm over her waist, warm breath on the back of her bare neck.

She’d found the witness before. Granted, he was pretty far underground, now, but she could find him again. Or she could find a way to get a message to him. Or think like the bad guys. Smartest option for them was to snatch him near the courthouse. So, get the venue changed. Nik was right. They needed her dad, and his contacts. Someone rock solid in the FBI, someone she and Nik could trust.

Veronica rolled over, and let her fingers drag over Nik’s face.

“Are you awake?” She leaned in for a kiss, momentarily disoriented when a lock of her own dark hair fell over her face. “I’m feeling ready to kick some ass. I’m angry, I’m motivated, and I want to get home with you, so we can see what happens next. I have a few ideas.” She reached for Nik’s hand. “Mostly, they involve not dying, not letting the witness die, and drinking champagne when all the bad guys go to jail. First things first; we’re calling my dad.”

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

short girls always wanna fight yall like mini batteries overflowing with energy cause yall bodies too small to contain it if only yall had used it to grow instead

[neptunesmarshmallow]

errors were made

[neptunesmarshmallow]

moonoverbourbon:

There was a tiny part of Nik (a very tiny part) that knew what happened with Henrik wasn’t his fault. It was often drowned out by the voice of his father and the haunted looks his mother gave him each time they were in the same room. Veronica could say what she wanted about the police reports and the place where blame truly fell, but it did very little to squash twelve years of guilt and pain. Besides, who was he to believe? Some random police officer who didn’t know him, or the people who were supposed to love him the most?

Nik had taken her hand before he even realized he’d reached for her. “I am sorry about your mother, love. The amount of pain inflicted by those who claim to love us the most often eclipses anything a mere stranger could do. Your friend, your mother…they were lucky to have such a champion in you.”

He was set to say more, but let her hand go when he could feel the tension building. Veronica was clearly upset, more so now that he spoke. Nik looked down the second her emotions got the better of her, so very guilty for causing her pain. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt her, but he had succeeded in spades at doing just that.

Picking at his food, he was at a loss for words until she spoke again. Nik wanted nothing more than to take her into his arms, to promise her that everything would be fine, but he was also not going to lie to her. Their lives were in danger, and he had no idea if anything would ever be alright again.

Give us another chance.

“If we survive,” Nik said, swallowing past the lump in his throat at the thought they might not, “then I will hold you to your promise of leaving my past in the past. When I am ready…” When he was ready, he would share the worst of it with her…but he wasn’t, and might not ever, be ready. “I love you, Veronica. I have loved no other the way I love you. I want you in my life; I want us. I want…but slowly, yes? Rebuild those bridges that we’ve destroyed. But yes…I would very much like to give us another chance.”

It wasn’t what she’d meant to elicit when she’d shared the story – but listening to Nik talk like that, as hard as it was to hear… she’d craved it for so long that she clung to it like a raft, hoping the ride it the rest of the way out of this ugly, terrifying mess.

She met his eyes again. It almost hurt, he was so earnest. Still in pain. Veronica’s fault. She shouldn’t have picked at that scab, made him thing about the papers she had, his family, his brother… but she had, and here he was, still.

Veronica took a deep breath.

“Then let’s survive,” she said.

After tonight, there would be no more tears. She didn’t have time for them. She couldn’t afford the distraction, or the headache. None of it. She wasn’t alone anymore and if they got through this, she wasn’t going to be alone again, ever, because she was never going to do anything so stupid again. They could be happy. They both deserved it.

“And slowly is fine,” she promised. As long as they were in it together, slowly was fine. They’d been going slowly before, and it had worked.

––

Two hours later, with more food in her stomach than she’d had in days, Veronica stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. A short, scruffy, dark bob (admittedly, the scruffy was because cutting her own hair with paper scissors was not one of her many talents). She looked entirely different. Throw some plaid on her and she could pass for a student. Perhaps a student with red, swollen eyes, but a student.

She hung the towel, and pulled a t-shirt over her head, before stepping back into the room.

“Ta-daaaaa. New me,” she said. “No one would suspect a thing. Right?” Right? “I’ll get used to it.”

She sat on the end of the bed, and popped a couple of Tylenol out of their plastic bubbles, swallowing them dry.

“I don’t want to sleep alone,” she said, taking a breath, heart racing. “If it’s not too fast… would you just hold me? Maybe?”

[neptunesmarshmallow]

errors were made

[neptunesmarshmallow]

moonoverbourbon:

Nik knew, realistically, that they were going to have this conversation eventually. He’d dropped everything and come running to Veronica’s side because he loved her, and now that he was here in front of her once more there was no denying his feelings. But it did matter; what she had learned about him mattered because it was part of himself he’d been trying to bury since his eighteenth birthday.

He listened to her talk, barely touching his food. A bite here and there, but he couldn’t manage to actually eat anything of substance while Veronica spoke. “We have to talk about it sooner or later, Veronica. I…came…because I still care. I would not be here if I did not still…” Nik shut up, shoveling another bite of food into his mouth (the first one of any real substance) in an effort to give himself time to think.

“I missed you too.” There. That was easy enough to admit, and all too easy to say. It pained Nik how true it was; like she had claimed, he had missed her every day. Eventually, he’d been able to get back to work, to have minutes and hours when he didn’t think about her, but it had taken months. “You have to understand that the things you read…” He looked away, staring holes into the back of the ugly gold colored curtain. “The things you read are only his side of the story. My father does not care for me; those reports are his doing, his words. I…did not want anyone to see that.”

Because there was nothing worse than having someone you loved see how desperately miserable your life had been.

“I wish you could have trusted me enough…so that I may have told you in my own time.” Nik shrugged, going back to his food - picking his way through bits and pieces, but not really trying to eat.

I would have loved to be your wife.

He looked up sharply then, both at the words and the tears he heard in her voice. She was so sincere that Nik wanted to take her in his arms, and he probably would have to had she not abruptly changed the subject. There would be time for that later – time to sort all their personal issues out – but now they needed to focus on staying alive.

“Then I will take it out in small increments, over a few days. It will suffice…just means we need to stay in Louisiana until I’ve gotten it all. There are branches in Baton Rouge, New Orleans, Shreveport…it should only take a couple of days.” Nik took another bite. “Eat. Please. You look like you’re starving. We can tackle everything else tomorrow.”

It was a punch in the stomach. No, it was two punches, to the kidneys. He missed her… and he wished she could trust him. Veronica dropped her eyes.

No, fuck this. Everything had gone to shit; if she couldn’t be honest now, when could she ever be honest?

“When I was seventeen years old,” she said, “I had enough money for four years at San Diego State University, a year at Stanford, and a semester at the Sorbonne. The way I figured it, I had another year to save… and scholarships to apply for. But I had that money.” She shook her head. “And then my absent mother reappeared. And I blew it all on a rehab stint she walked out on two weeks later. On her way out the door, after I threw her out and said I never wanted to see her again, she stole a ten thousand dollar check.”

Veronica wiped a tear from each eye, and made a valiant attempt to look at her food.

“My dad is amazing, but it doesn’t change the fact that I think parents suck. They suck. They screw us up, they lie, they don’t want to know who we are. I get it, I was an idiot. But the same way you wish I had trusted you enough to tell you… I wish you trusted me enough to see through horseshit like that.” She swallowed, hard. “You were a kid, Nik. Your brother ran out into traffic and he died. And it’s a tragedy that he died. But it’s a tragedy as well that you’ve lived a half-life ever since because your father couldn’t see it for what it was – an accident. Look at the police reports,” she begged. “Please. Even if after this week you don’t want to see me, read them. He might have blamed you, but no one else did. Not the police, anyway.”

She closed her eyes, and breathed.

“My best friend Lily was murdered by a man who was rich enough and famous enough to convince a jury of his fans that a fifteen year old girl could bring her death upon herself.”

She crossed her arms on the table, and stopped trying not to sob. The last few days had been too painful to keep holding it back. She ground the heel of her hand into her eye, and tried to get her breathing under control

“I miss you,” she said again, forcing herself to look up. “Please. Give me another chance. Give us another chance. If we survive this week, I promise you, I’ll never do anything this stupid again.”

[allsonargent]

[neptunesmarshmallow]

errors were made

[neptunesmarshmallow]

moonoverbourbon :

A silver lining. No, it wasn’t a silver lining. If Nik had been there, perhaps he could have done something…kept her safe somehow. These past few months had been horrible; she should have been planning their wedding, not worried about her life. It was another thing he could add to the list of bad decisions he’d made in his life – and this one could have gotten Veronica killed.

“I have cash, about ten thousand dollars in savings. I can have it by the morning. Clothing. Car plates, yes. I can do that too. I want you to stay here – out of New Orleans – and leave everything to me. I can be back before you miss me.”  Another sharp stab to his heart; Nik found himself wondering if she’d missed him nearly as badly as he’d missed her.

He reached fingers out and touched her hair; it was beautiful, and he hated to see it changed because of this. It was a necessity though, one that might help keep them one step ahead of whoever it was chasing her. “Brown. It’s further away from blonde than red. I think it would look lovely on you.” Nik pulled her a little tighter into a hug, before releasing her to stand. “I have cash in my wallet – a couple hundred dollars from weekend tips. Let me go and get the things we’ll need for the night, and then tomorrow I will head back into the city. We will figure this out, Veronica. I promise.”

–

Nik was back in a little under an hour with six bags in his hands. One was from a Chinese restaurant he’d passed on the way in and smelled of soy sauce and ginger. Noodles. Chicken. Vegetables. It would get them through the night. The others contained things from the market he’d found – donuts and instant coffee for the morning, water, her favorite bar of chocolate, and some brown hair dye that he thought would look good on her.

“I thought you might be hungry, and it was getting closer to dinner time. I…here.” Nik opened the bag and passed over a box of noodles with chicken and veggies, and then placed his own at the small table near the window. It was heavily curtained – safe – and he’d been extra careful to make sure he wasn’t followed.

He set out a couple bottles of water as well, and then sat down with his food.

“You look as if you haven’t had a decent meal in days, Veronica. Please. Come sit with me and eat? We can…talk about anything you’d like. Something other than this, and at least take your mind off of it for tonight. Tomorrow is a new day; we will worry then.”

As he headed for the door, Veronica made a thousand pleas, offered a thousand warnings.

“Be careful. If you can see any security cameras, try not to look at them face on. Side profile, or look down at your phone. Don’t talk to anyone you don’t have to, I don’t want anyone to remember your accent.”

And once he was out of earshot, with her head resting on the door jamb: “I’m sorry. Please don’t go. Don’t get hurt. I shouldn’t have called. Thank you for coming.” And she collapsed on the bed again to sleep for another hour, relief dropping her like a rock into the ocean.

––

She dragged herself to a sitting position as Nik stepped back into the room, and dangled her legs over the edge of the bed as he passed her a box of noodles. Veronica was starving. Earlier, she’d been thinking that she should make an effort to eat something, despite the terrified churning in her stomach, but now, smelling this (and honestly? Just knowing she wasn’t alone anymore) she was starving.

Nik was so cautious. Veronica wanted to sit in his lap.

She crossed the small space, and poured herself into the chair with a grateful smile. She reached for the chopsticks – ouch. She kept forgetting she’d grazed the heels of her hands, and scraped her knuckles.

“It smells good,” she said. “I really haven’t. Eaten, I mean. Some beef jerky and chips, that’s about all. Gas station food. I bought one of those microwave subs, but it smelled terrible, and I couldn’t.” There, that was a useful thing to talk about. Veronica picked up a piece of chicken between her chopsticks and brought it to her mouth.

“I’ve missed you,” she said, as soon as she’d swallowed. “I’ve missed you every day. I went back to Neptune to see dad. He said I was an idiot. He was right. I shouldn’t have done what I did. I should have respected your privacy. I knew whatever you were hiding wasn’t going to make a difference to the way I felt, so it didn’t matter – but it did matter. I know. I…”

She put her elbow on the table, shaking slightly.

“We probably shouldn’t even be talking about this, should we? I’m sorry. Yesterday I thought I wasn’t going to last the weekend, and all I could think about was the fact that you’d never know that… that I’m so sorry I fucked everything up, Nik, and that I would have said yes that night. I would have loved to… to be your wife.”

Damn, she had tears welling in her eyes. She wiped them away.

“I’m sorry. You didn’t need that. I think we have more pressing issues. Right? Staying alive. Getting out of here.” She pushed a piece of broccoli into her mouth. “By the way you can’t take ten thousand dollars out of the bank in one go. Ever. The bank has to report that. It draws attention.”

[theloyalangel-a-deactivated2021]

Really seemed very confused about coffee? But cute, if not very smily.

What Does You Muse Think Of Michael

“Yes well, coffee was very confusing back then.”

[neptunesmarshmallow]

When you’re watching Deep Impact and a tiny Logan appears...

[moonoverbourbon-archive-deactiv]

😍 – neptunesmarshmallow

My Muse’s favorite picture of yours muse: 

That smile. Nik loves that smile. 

[neptunesmarshmallow]

errors were made

[neptunesmarshmallow]

moonoverbourbon:

His eyes narrowed, face showing the briefest flash of pain when she spoke of what she’d done. Veronica didn’t understand. Yes, he felt betrayed, but more than that – so very much more than that – Nik was embarrassed. There was no way he could tell her what really happened to him, so he would have to settle for her thinking he was some sort of criminal, troublemaker, and worse…that what happened to his little brother had been intentionally malicious on his part.

Nik listened to her story, letting out a breath when he realized what happened. This sounded like organized crime territory, and normally he would tell her they needed to go to the authorities. His blood ran cold at the words ‘police corruption,’ and he shook his head. “Your father. We should get in touch with your father straight away. If there is police corruption involved, he should know. Perhaps there is something he can do…”

Their dog.

Before he could even stop to second guess what he was doing, Nik had his arms wrapped around Veronica, pulling her close. “Shhh. Shhhh. We will figure a way out of this. I promise you. I won’t leave you alone, love. Shhh.” He was actually trying to comfort them both, an attempt to keep from shedding tears over the dog – and now over their situation.

“Do you think they know about me?” If not, Nik could get back into the city, grab some things for them both, and pull money out of the bank before anyone noticed anything was amiss. He’d call his job, tell them he’d had a family emergency and needed to take the two weeks holiday he was owed. That might give them time to figure something out, and if not… well, bartending jobs were easy to find.

Nik was not leaving her alone in this.

“I have enough savings to get us wherever you want to go. We can hide for as long as it takes. I’ll take care of everything…” He was so in over his head. Nik knew nothing about running from criminals, but he did know a thing or two about drifting. It wouldn’t be hard for them to disappear temporarily. “I’m not leaving you alone, Veronica. Tell me what I need to do, and I will do it.”

Veronica shook her head. “He’s overseas. And he’d freak out, and make calls, and… I don’t think that would be safe for any of us. I’ll tell him, I promise, when this is all over, but I don’t want him involved when he’s too far away to do anything but call every cop he’s ever met and make them promise to track me down.”

Nik’s arm around here set off a fresh round of hot, painful tears. The dog. She’s never forgive herself for that. No, she’d never forgive them. It wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t.

It felt like her fault.

She tangled her fingers in Nik’s shirt, marveling at the way after months of distance between them he could still make her feel so safe and calm. Even the way he smelled seemed to bring her home.

But she needed to get herself under control. She sat up straighter, and reached for the tissues, blowing her nose and then drying her face. With a shaky hand, she reached for the mug of water. She’d have preferred it was vodka, but at the same time, she wouldn’t do anything that might risk slowing her mind down. She needed to be sharp. And she wasn’t alone anymore.

“I don’t think they know about you,” she said. “Or if they do, if they’ve dug deep enough, they’d know we haven’t had any contact in… well, I guess it’s… there’s a silver lining, right?” It didn’t feel like a silver lining. Veronica had been unhappy, the world had felt so flat and colorless. But if it meant that Nik had a layer of safety to cushion him – and if that protection could maybe keep her alive as well? – she’d take it.

Veronica forced herself to take a deep breath, and stared at a spot on the carpet for a moment. It might have been good to come up with a plan before Nik had gotten here, but too late for that now.

“We need cash,” she said. “We probably need to steal some number plates, just in case. From a car that doesn’t get a lot of use.” She shook her head. “I want to find Kevin, but… I’m afraid if I find him I’ll just blow his cover again. We need somewhere safe to stay. I don’t know where. A cabin in the woods is a great setting for a very quiet bloodbath, but a hotel in… I don’t know…”

Where could the drive to reasonably? Jackson?

“Thing is I’ve been violating secure hotels since I was sixteen years old, so I’m a little cynical about their ability to keep bad guys out. We need fake ID… I need hair dye. What do you think – red? Brown? I can’t think straight.” She wiped her eyes again. “When we leave, we leave together. And I think we should head north. If you can’t do this, now is the time to say it.”

[marshmallowatheart]

[butterflysfics]

[neptunesmarshmallow]

errors were made

[neptunesmarshmallow]

moonoverbourbon

The drive to her motel was the longest one in the history of Nik’s life. Once on a lark, he’d driving from New Orleans to San Francisco; it had taken days…this was just a few hours, but it still felt longer. The speed meant nothing to him, nor did the thought of a speeding ticket or a trip to jail for reckless driving. All that mattered was getting to Veronica, making sure she was safe, and fixing whatever had scared her so badly.

Then finally, blissfully, he was pulling (almost sideway) into the motel parking lot. He had to physically make himself put the car into park and turn it off – the need to get to her was so strong.

Nik had never heard fear like that, and it had chilled him to the very bone.

Thank you for coming.

As if he could ever be anywhere else.

His arms were around her the second she hugged against him, hand against the back of her head to hold her close. Nik was whispering words of comfort, words on reassurance, and then walking her backward to sit on the bed. The last thing he wanted was her being this upset, and a good sit down and glass of water might be a start. “Come on, love. Sit. I’ll fetch you some water, and we can talk about what’s got you so out of sorts.”

He was trying to be as calming as he could, but Nik’s own heart was racing. Something was very wrong here, well beyond whatever personal issues they’d had leading to the breakup. This was not the reaction of someone who just missed a lover. Veronica was in trouble.

Nik left her only long enough to fill the cup with tepid water; it would have to do for now.  Then he was back at her side, one arm wrapped around her shoulder and the other offering up the cup of water. “Start slowly. Water first. Do not fret about what you feel you’ve done, Veronica. Please just tell me what has you so scared.”  And yes, she was scared. He could see it in every movement of her body.

“Whatever it is, love, I swear I will help you figure it out. I will not let you do this alone.” Nik pulled her closer, eyes closing as he kissed the top of her head. Gods above, he’d missed her so much. All it took was one touch to bring all that ache roaring back to the surface. “Talk to me, Veronica. Tell me everything.”

Just having someone she trusted close by was a balm. The fact that it was Nik – that despite what she’d done, he would be here for her – it gave Veronica more than just hope for surviving this, but hope that maybe they could be… something, again. She would settle for friends. Anything. She took the cup in her shaking hand, and took a sip.

“I’m… very good at my job,” she started. “I mean, you know that. After what I did… you know I can find anyone I am determined to find. And a few weeks ago, this older couple came to me, just a boring everyday rich white couple from New York, no red flags. I ran a background check on them, nothing came up. They said they were looking for their son, who’s been missing two years. They said he stole from them when he ran and they’re worried he thinks they won’t forgive him. They gave me a heap of photographs, social media sites that haven’t been touched in over two years, the lot. They seemed a bit numb, but they said the cops told them the guy was probably dead and they were just chasing some half-assed lead that he’d been seen in Louisiana. I took a deposit and started looking.

“Weird thing is – I found nothing. Police say this guy never existed to them – he has no record, no speeding tickets, no missing person’s report. Which made me… crazy. I knew there had to be more to it, so I got creative. I mean, at that point, I started to wonder if this guy had run away from his parents for some very good reason, and my plan was just to talk to him. That was all. I would have given their money back. Happily. I found him. I went to talk to him. He was completely spooked, told me to go, wouldn’t answer a single question. And then…”

She started crying again. “Middle of the night, I wake up and there’s someone in my house. They killed…” Fresh torrents of tears. “They killed out dog, Nik. I got out, barely, in my pajamas, with nothing but my wallet. And then the next day I found out this guy is in witness protection. I blew his cover; he’s gone missing, but it looks like he ran. We’re both on a hit list. I’ve been shot at more in the last two days than I have in my entire life. I climbed into the luggage compartment of a greyhound bus and stole clothes out of the suitcases, enough to let me make some progress. I had to dump the care, I think it’s got a tracker in it, which is probably how they found the guy. There’s allegations of police corruption… the only person I trust right now, other than you, is the guy’s attorney. Who is hidden under five layers of security until the trial starts, because someone put a bullet through his window in Tuesday night.”

She took a breath. “Our dog, Nik.”

[ilya-rozanovs]

[neptunesmarshmallow]

errors were made

[neptunesmarshmallow]

moonoverbourbon

His shift had just ended, but Nik was in no real hurry to get home. He moved a week after he and Veronica broke up, another apartment a few streets over – this time above an antique store. He spent his days off doing odds and ends around the shop for a discount in the rent. This apartment wasn’t nearly as nice as his last one, but it had a balcony that overlooked Royal Street. It was nice…just…not the same.

He rarely went into the Garden District these days, no real reason to and running into her was always a real possibility. Nik wasn’t sure that he could ever see her again; he’d been mad, yes, but now he was just miserable. The things she likely thought about him…no, he didn’t want to think about it. Veronica probably thought him a monster – a criminal like the file said – and he couldn’t stomach the thought of seeing her look at him that way.

She had been the first woman he’d ever loved – and he had loved her deeply. Still did, if he weren’t trying to lie to himself.

Halfway around the block to his apartment when the phone rang, Nik glanced down but didn’t recognize the number. He hesitated – thinking perhaps it was a bill collector…or worse, his father. In the end though, he slid his finger across the screen to answer the call.

He froze in the middle of the street, only moving to the side when someone muttered under their breath behind him. Nik could hear her crying, and it made his blood run cold. But he didn’t hang up, and he didn’t say anything – simply letting Veronica finish.

“I don’t hate you.” That shouldn’t have been what he said first, but he needed her to know that. “Where are you? What’s happened?”  No, that could wait for later. Nik needed to know where she was; he needed to get to her. He was running now, taking the stairs to his apartment two at a time and throwing open the door without even a second thought. His car keys. He needed them.

Nik rarely drove around the Quarter, because everything was in walking distance. Since he hadn’t been visiting Veronica lately, the car had sat unused in the lot a half a block away. He’d even debated selling it…and was so very glad he hadn’t now. When he had her location, he was out the door – sprinting to his car. “I’ll be there as quickly as I can. Do not leave your room. I’m…I’m on my way Veronica. Everything will be okay, love. I promise.”

He hung up, hoping he could keep his word.

Veronica barely managed to stammer out her thanks, and another apology, before she forced herself to end the call, and curled up against the pillows in the smallest ball she could manage. She didn’t deserve any of this. And wow, that was complicated; because no, she didn’t deserve to be hunted down because she’d done her best for a client, and she didn’t deserve to be forced to run from her home, and her dog… she couldn’t even think about that.

And she didn’t deserve Nik forgiving her the terrible things she’d done and coming to help her, either. Which didn’t mean she didn’t heave with relief at the knowledge that he was on his way.

She checked the time, and calculated how long it might take him to get there. Too long. She needed something to pass the time, and sleep wasn’t coming. She found a newspaper a few days old and tried to read it; she wished the burner was a smart phone so she could download angry birds or something; she paced, and she scribbled page after page of notes on a notepad that bore a totally different brand to the actual motel. These notes, she stuffed into a drawer. If she got herself killed, they were damning, and that would have to do. The thought brought with it a fresh torrent of tears.

She shouldn’t be bringing Nik into this. It was just too dangerous.

For a moment, she considered calling him back and sending home and just running. Eventually, she’d find a Greyhound or a… just, a different state. Maybe she could hide until her father came home.

Finally, painfully aware that her hands were shaking and she couldn’t look at it anymore, Veronica poured both of the tiny bottles of gin in the honor bar into a coffee mug and topped it off with a splash of tonic water. It wasn’t nearly enough to get her drunk, but she hoped it might at least slow her down enough to stop that tremor and make it possible to speak.

When she heard gravel crunching under a tire, she moved the curtain just enough to be sure it was Nik’s car, and felt herself choke again. She waited behind the door and opened it before he was forced to knock, closing it behind them both.

She drew herself to full height – all five feet of her – and forced herself to meet his eyes, forced herself to sound like a grownup.

“Thank you for coming,” she said, but it was hopeless. Those kind blue eyes were too much. She wasn’t even aware that she’d thrown her arms around Nik’s waist until she felt the tears soaking into his t-shirt. She clung for dear life, soaking in the solid warmth and letting everything roll back; the first few weeks when she’d hated herself and missed him every minute, the moment she’d accepted that she’d ruined everything for good.

“I’m just so glad you’re here. I’ve screwed up so badly, and I’m so scared. And I’m sorry. About everything I did. I have so much to tell you.”