Hi, I'm Emily! ;) I used to go by luvtheheaven everywhere but I wanted a new username to be open by online. 35 years old in 2025. Gray-Aro Pan-Alterous Asexual. Atheist. Fannish. Started my own business as a secular funeral celebrant & memorial slideshow editor: Grief Pictured, LLC!
So I started headcanoning Luke as heteroromantic asexual but of course he has no idea he’s asexual or what asexuality means. I also headcanon Rory as demisexual (hetero-demisexual) too. I can explain why… but it would be more fun maybe to explain in fic form. To analyze them from the characters’ own perspective instead of my perspective kind of a thing.
I genuinely would love to write a fic exploring either or both of these things! However… um…
*Sigh* so it’s hard to know how to broach this when Gilmore Girls was so queer-unfriendly of a show, even with a gay main character (Michel) who was in all 8 seasons (8 if you count the revival). The show avoided directly acknowledging his being gay for most of the show, while indirectly acknowledging it every chance they could and making his whole characterization one of mostly comic relief and the butt of all sorts of types of jokes. They very rarely took him seriously as a character. And he was sidelined; not a member of the town in any real way.
But I’m a queer person who has adored Gilmore Girls for nearly 20 years. I still adore so much about it. Started watching it when I was 14 years old and season 4 was wrapping up airing, and I’m 33 years old now. I didn’t know at the time that I was queer, or that my type of queer identity was even an option—I’m a sex-averse asexual but I’m also gray-panromantic, interested in dating people of all genders, and as a woman I have dated other women and a nonbinary person, and I have a lot of queer friends and acquaintances that span nearly every LGBTQ+ identity. This week during Ace Week 2023 marks the 10 year anniversary for me of coming out to myself as asexual. It’s hard to still be so attached to a show that is so cisnormative and heteronormative—and that’s not even mentioning all the queerphobia they wrote into the show via jokes.
During my most recent rewatch of the entire series around December 2020 into February 2021, when I got to somewhere in season 4 I decided to start taking notes of every time queerness is at all referenced, every transphobic and homophobic joke, etc.
Part of me wants to find a way to salvage that Lorelai joked about liking women herself because actually she was bisexual, like this fits in as a headcanon that the reason she joked so often about it was because it was on her mind for other reasons. I don’t even know if she joked about it that often but fairly often. A lot of the queerphobic jokes generally came from her? But certainly not all. But her jokes sometimes include herself as into women and it just makes you think “What if she really was? All this time?”. Lorelai also teases many other characters, especially Luke quite often, but sometimes people like Sookie or Rory, and implies they are gay or queer in some other way.
Rory seemed to be much less canonically homophobic and transphobic. She cut her mother off once when her mother was teasing her homophobically and calls the jokes “inappropriate” even and part of this is just Rory didn’t have the same kind of sense of humor as most of the other characters. She seemed less amused by life, by even their jokes, but especially her characterization was just being a person less likely to crack a joke herself. She did tease Paris in ways that evoked referencing queer things or lesbians but I’m not sure Rory’s humor crossed the line of being actually anti-being queer in any way. Some of this humor is more chuckling at double entendres in English rather than chuckling at the existence of queer people? Like Paris saying she’s sleeping with a girl and Rory bringing up The L Word in reaction.
Actually, though, looking back through my notes for season 4-ish till the end, a lot of characters don’t come up much, or the way they come up is in a different context. Jess actually… I don’t think he ever once cracked a queerphobic joke nor laughed at one. He was the butt of two in season 4 (both from TJ). I hadn’t been taking these type of notes in seasons 2 or 3. I have memorized most of Jess’ scenes and I just don’t recall the early seasons having him being queerphobic. I could be wrong though.
I wasn’t taking notes when Dean or Christopher were on the show much so idk if these men had any such moments. And as far as my notes show, Sookie is just the recipient of Lorelai’s teasing at moments, not queerphobic herself. Kirk is not gonna joke about that stuff, just seriously defend himself against being perceived as gay at moments. And the show frames certain things he obliviously says as a gay joke but he’s not purposefully making any. Maybe really the most homophobic characters are Lorelai and even Luke, and at a few times Emily & Richard.
Logan’s style of homophobic jokes seem more playful and somehow less offensive to me. I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that but there are ways to tease that aren’t based in as problematic of a starting place. It’s like he’s not afraid to include himself in it the most, so he’s not distancing himself from the queerness? Idk I’d have to rewatch to see if I still have that same impression. He’s also just… more worldly than some of the characters feel like to me. He’s experienced bigger city life more or travel and broadened horizons? He sorta seems like he has more friends than a lot of the characters is maybe part of it. But I’d have to rewatch those moments to see how I really feel about Logan’s gay jokes and if this headcanon of him being less homophobic really is valid.
Anyway, here we are…
I basically feel like in order to write a fanfic that feels genuine and actually includes asexuality/the word "asexual" without feeling forced, awkward, etc, it can’t jump to including it. These characters were SO far away from being able to talk about or process that term. These characters needed to grow and change in various ways before it would fit in the worldbuilding and characterization?
I think the only way to make this work is gradually, slowly. The only way is to showcase that these characters actually do have experiences that shape them into being more and more ready for asexuality to exist in their world. The only way I can make it believable is if I can figure out the missing steps on the bridge between where the show was, and where I want the fic to go. I think it’s not just one missing step. It’s not that simple.
I think Lane and Jess were never small towners. Jess came from NYC, then later as an adult moved to live in Philadelphia, both cities. They are the most likely to meet openly queer people and broaden the worlds of people like Lorelai and Luke as they themselves learn and grow. I think it isn’t a stretch to think of Lane and Jess as very much LGBTQ+ allies, and Jess isn’t likely to become the most vocal ally but he… in his own quiet way could very much be one. And he is very closely connected to Luke’s story, even more than Lane, although both of them are. Lane worked for him in the diner and knows him well. Jess and Lane are both extremely connected to Rory’s story. So for either the Luke asexual headcanon or the Rory demisexual one, Jess or Lane could be a key piece of their stories. Anyway I was saying Jess could sneak up on you quietly with his allyship. His would be maybe more casual and incidental perhaps.
Lane though. Lane is loud. Lane is bold. Lane is the kind of girl the show could have easily chosen to write as queer herself in any number of ways. But the show didn’t. The show wrote her as very much straight. But she’d… RELATE to the queer experience deeply. She’d be drawn to become a vociferous ally, appreciating the LGBT plight because her upbringing made her feel like she wasn’t allowed to be herself, like she knows what it’s like to be disowned by her mother, for her parents to not approve of who she wants to date/who she loves—in her case because they aren’t Korean or aren’t Christian enough. And yes Lorelai lived a very parallel life in some ways to Lane, they are supposed to be mirrors in some ways, but there are key differences.
I feel like Lane, also in part because she’s younger, is easier to imagine as this kind of ally. A big difference between Lane and Lorelai is that Lane started in the small conservative mostly white town as an outsider racially, too. And she leaves to go on tour, to broaden her horizons and was never destined to stay in that small town forever. (I say screw the revival’s mistreatment of Lane.) Lorelai wasn’t raised in that small town, and instead Lorelai chose it for her adult self and feels at home in it. That’s a very different story.
Lorelai, however, has an interesting additional point for the start of some change or growth. Lorelai has Michel. She has been bearing witness to his life for basically decades as a close friend, theoretically. Michel could call her out on her bullshit at some point. He could tell her something she is saying is offensive, is crossing a line that isn’t hers to cross.
Also if my headcanon about Luke is to come to fruition, then Lorelai is dealing with being in a long-term romantic relationship with a man who isn’t super into their sex life. The way I interpret his asexuality is that he’s… not really into sex. He’s having sex pretty much only because she wants to. His sex drive is low. He’s very romantic, but he’s not very sexual. She’s always initiating. Her sexual flirting is making him uncomfortable. And he’s just… idk. I have a lot to explore specific to this headcanon once I figure out the fic I’m writing. I just think Lorelai will be somewhat primed to believe in and accept the existence of asexuality since she’s been living with a complicated truth that neither her nor her partner understood—that Luke’s potential weirdness around sex/their sex life could be explained by asexuality. I’m not saying they never have sex. But it could explain why when the revival started something had held them back from actually getting married all those years. It could explain some of the issues between them. And it definitely works well alongside the fact that Luke spent so many years single.
I think in order to write this fic, I need to outline a plot that establishes a relatively gradual shift in these characters’ appreciation for the fact that not everyone is straight in the world. That there are more possibilities, make sexual orientation generally something that could comfortably be discussed in a Gilmore Girls style way, with tasteful humor sprinkled in but no longer punching down or ridiculing people who are gay or gender-nonconforming.
I think I could do it. I just need to find or make the time for it.
So. I was gonna write a short ace fic for Ace Week while it was still #AceWeek2023 and instead I wrote this meta essay adjacent thing and posted it slightly late. But I hope someone can appreciate this insight into my thought process. I hope it was interesting or fun for at least one of you. :) Thanks!
ooooh is spencer reid really asexual? your posts about criminal minds made me want to watch it anyway but i want to even more if there's ace representation that's so exciting!!!
He’s not REALLY asexual, it’s just headcanon that a lot of CM fans accept. Generally people think he’s asexual / bisexual. The writers originally wrote him to be bisexual, but CBS being shitty as always said, “No that can’t possibly happen now, look he has a crush on his female co-worker!” because apparently the people making decisions at CBS don’t know shit about bisexuality. Maybe they think you have to date two people at the same time, one male and one female to qualify?
Anyway, Prentiss, when she was introduced was supposed to have a scene where she was in bed with a woman, but CBS stopped that as well. The show writers WANT to be inclusive, but quite frankly, CBS won’t let them.
Spencer Reid from Criminal Minds is demi-panromantic asexual. He doesn't care what people identify as/what's in their pants. also 'cause he isn't gonna want to be getting in them. And Derek Morgan is demi-panromantic demisexual. He likes everybody, but will only want to be with someone after he's been close with them for a while, same with sex.
Look as this wittle loveable nerd :3, of course he is a demi-pan ace. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Welcome to the club you two.
Let me know who else you guys like to headcanon on the aro/ace spectrum!
Well, this could definitely explain the illnesses that are lasting 4 weeks or longer in my non-masking coworkers. Whereas when I caught whatever was going around (managed a couple weeks before it got past my masking) it lasted 5 days.
“National teacher shortage” is a fun way of saying that the USA has made a passion driven job so ungodly inhospitable that even people who “just care about teaching, not the money” don’t even care about teaching anymore.
you mean i could make less at school than at mcdonalds while working 60+ hours a werk and being expected to take a bullet any minute and contracting every disease ever and still not be able to cover my bills june-september while parents and politicians blame me for why their kids are gay
It’s also a job that used to offset the low pay by providing a pension after retirement, but now offers of pensions have been shitcanned and the pay hasn’t risen to account for it.
XD Oh my gosh... well when it's posted in 2027 and beyond it will start to mean time travel is possible once you drink that many, which kinda makes sense... XD
(Please don't die from drinking too much too fast, folks, this stuff is truly dangerous!)
The USPS does not lose or spend billions a year. It was making a profit until a Republican Congress tried to sabotage it by forcing it to fund pensions for 80 years out. Now it's struggling to do that, of course. But that money doesn't evaporate, it goes into pension funds. Of course, the Republicans' ultimate goal is to eliminate the USPS so only private industry will deliver mail, so they keep on going after it, even though a postal service is specifically dictated in the Constitution. But that's what this claim is about.
speculative fiction writers i am going to give you a really urgent piece of advice: don't say numbers. don't give your readers any numbers. how heavy is the sword? lots. how old is that city? plenty. how big is the fort? massive. how fast is the spaceship? not very, it's secondhand.
the minute you say a number your readers can check your math and you cannot do math better than your most autistic critic. i guarantee. don't let your readers do any math. when did something happen? awhile ago. how many bullets can that gun fire? trick question, it shoots lasers, and it shoots em HARD.
you are lying to people for fun. if you let them do math at you the lie collapses and it's no fun anymore.
#you may think you - the writer - are your own most autistic critic #but somewhere out there is a motherfucker with the world's nichest PhD who has been waiting their whole life to prove you wrong
Listen I'm aware you all want a piece of this. I understand I'm a hot commodity here on tumblr dot com. But even setting aside wealth and immortality, my husband squeezes the absolute fattest ass you've ever seen through literally billions of chimney flues every December 25th. And every other night of the year, he's with me. And somehow you hoes think you can teach me a trick I haven't seen before? Dream on.
I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know
for no reason whatsoever here’s a reminder that if you consider yourself a leftist/punk/abolitionist/anarchist/radical in any sort of way and get called into jury duty, you are to become the most square person on earth during the jury questionnaire!!!
don’t be that guy who says fuck the police in the jury questionnaire! that just gets you sent home! if you want to generate change, interact with the case and use your jury vote for good! ESPECIALLY if it’s a high profile case!
This isn't even a slight exaggeration. JKR has openly given at least £70,000 to For Women Scotland to campaign against trans rights and fund this exact supreme court ruling. x x
Her anti-trans Crisis Centre in Edinburgh has the director of For Women Scotland on the Board of Directors. x
We can presume she's given more (financial) support off the record or in other ways.
Rowling consistently makes passive income on all Harry Potter products. Multiple sources have cited that Rowling earns anywhere between $50 million to a $100 million each year from royalties. Forbes estimated she earned $95 million in 2017 alone. x x x
It is a well-known fact that she earns net profit percentages on all her IP. Every time you buy any HP merch, from anywhere, she gets a cut. Every time you watch one of her films, even streaming or just on the tv, she gets a cut. Every time you visit Universal Studios or Harry Potter World, she gets a cut.
And she uses that money to do this. To strip trans rights at every opportunity.
im still losing it over the "how did high schoolers write 600 word essays before chatgpt" post. 600 words. that is nothing. that is so few words what do you mean you can't write 600 words. 600 words. this post right here is 45 words.
600 words is about two pages typed. 600 words is a 5-paragraph-form essay with extra mustard. 600 words is the very definition of a reasonable amount of words for a high school essay.
The way I explain this to my students is, "If you're not a writer, whatever the word requirement is will look impossibly high, and if you are a writer, that same number will look impossibly low." (I teach physics, but they often complain before class about the papers they have to write for their humanities courses.)
Of course, you become a writer by writing, and at some point you may not even notice that it starts getting harder to trim down than to pad out. (Especially since ceilings on wordcount are rarely imposed in core curriculum classes or fanfic.)
So, in Brazilian, USAmerican, and LGBT+ politics news, transgender Brazilian congresswoman Erika Hilton has received from the USA a visa marking her gender as male.
Hilton canceled a trip she was going to make to the US this month, where she was going to participate on Saturday (12) in a panel at the Brazil Conference, and says she will take action against US President Donald Trump at the UN (United Nations) because she considers the case to be transphobic and disrespectful of her Brazilian civil records.
UPDATE: fellow transgender Brazilian congresswoman Duda Salabert has been informed her visa will also register her as male.
"More than transphobia, there is a question of national sovereignty involved: it is not up to the US government to disagree with and refute Brazil's documents," she said.
(x)
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