❝This is the last time I agree with a suggestion made by a hooligan.
That damned Island follows me wherever I go. Even though the whispers have long since ceased (I pray that they HAVE ceased), I can still feel a foreboding weight on my shoulders. I cannot be the only one who feels this way, and yet I wonder; the crew seems to have moved on, whilst I continue to fight against them.
Spook says to not believe the whispers. That their words only serve to unsettle us, that they only say what we wish to not hear. I would love nothing more than to believe his words, but how? How can I believe them when their words hold merit?
They say I am useless. Worthless. Weak. An embarrassment. A rot. That no one wants me around. That I can easily be left for dead. That I should offer mine own body for the promise of companionship.
I don’t want to believe them.
But they’re right.
The Quartermaster had given me a charm. She claims it wards off nightmares. I do not believe in such tomfoolery, but I have been able to sleep a little easier since I’d gotten it. The nightmares hadn’t passed, but they’re bearable.
Yet still, the weight continues to weigh down on me. The words continue to ring in my head, no matter how much I work or try to distract myself. The whispers said I can never really leave... Perhaps this was what they meant.
I hadn’t seen Clyde for some time.
I don’t care who
I just need someone
Anyone
Please
~
Blessed be the lovers, Menphina and Oschon.
Grant me salvation from this darkness that hath washed over me.❞
It had been nigh on a full week. A full week since my relationship with Clyde had progressed in a way that I could not have foreseen, and I’ve still yet to gather my thoughts. It is ridiculous, almost pitiful in all honesty-- never before has something jumbled my thoughts so horribly as the moment he vaulted over the counter and kissed me. And yet here I am, barely able to formulate the words for a single journal entry, despite the fact that I’d been hoping writing this journal entry would help to clear my mind. The memory’s already distracting me from my work as is...
The truth is... I am frightened. I trust Clyde immensely, probably more so than what the Captain and Quartermaster expected me to. He’s confided in me so many times, and I him; we’ve a bond that I’m certain cannot be severed by simple means, if at all. I know this, and yet part of me is frightened by what this relationship has in store for my future. A dark voice in my head tells me that he is using me, that he hardly even cares for me, that the tender look he gives me every time we kiss is an act. I know better than to believe that voice, but when I think of the last person that I cared for unconditionally...
I’d much rather not think on that.
At any rate, I cannot let these thoughts plague me. We’ve a mission coming up, one that is of great import to the company, and I’ll need to be at my best to ensure we are all prepared for it. Admittedly I worry about how it will go, with two of our own injured -- one of them being our doctor -- and the traitor being nowhere to be found. There is still time before we make our assault on Drake, though, and I will use every second I can muster to ensure there are no hitches in our raid. Drake must fall, for our company’s sake.
...I tell myself I should focus, and yet all I can think of is his warmth. Gods take me, when did I become as lovesick as a prepubescent girl?
~
Blessed be the lovers, Menphina and Oschon.
Lead my heart not astray, and let our love triumph over all.❞
"I've just realized literally everyone is behind me..."
“You... ...You insufferable oaf.”
--
*CACKLES*
as it turns out, clyde ended up making his move on lhei’li over the weekend. they are now lovers. (shamelessly pings @clydewalker-ffxiv )
i’m sorry if it looks awkward, i’m still getting over a cold/flu/sinus infection/i have no fucking idea and i’ve been wanting to draw this sINCE SUNDAY!!!!!
❝Considering the events a few days past, it is a sheer miracle that I am able to write this entry at all.
Even now, I can scarcely remember what exactly had occurred. We had gotten a lead from an Ishgardian noble – Sir Gaucard: word that would lead us directly to Drake’s Quartermaster. We had taken it, naturally, despite his ludicrous payment for the lead, which had been word of the Quartermaster’s death as well as the Allagan cube. Instead of killing him, however, we had taken him into our custody. The Captain wished to interrogate him, or something of the sort. Damned if I remember at this point.
The mission was completed without complications and we’d taken to waiting for the Captain in a nearby abandoned hamlet. There was a firefight soon after, between an Ishgardian merchant’s ship and a behemoth of a magitek airship. The merchant’s ship was felled and we – myself, Waylon, Shears, and Slip – had attempted to salvage the cargo and crew, but found the engine to be near exploding. I remember running, shouting at the others to leave while carrying Slip on my shoulders.
And then there was an explosion. After that? Nothing.
Doctor Beruht’a is many things, but let it be said that he is a man who does his work well. As I awoke, I was able to feel an obvious soreness in my chest and nose that could attribute to broken bones, but I felt no such breakage. My wrist is still in a splint, and I’ve stitches along my forehead along with a concussion, but it seems as though the worst of my injuries had been healed. The Captain said I had been out for nearly an entire sun due to my head injury, which isn’t entirely surprising– I remember being out for longer during the Calamity. Aside from the bandage on my head and the splint on my wrist, I appear to essentially be the perfect picture of health.
Even so, the doctor insists that I need to be supervised. Much as I would like to argue the contrary, he is in the right: I’ve scarcely the energy to write this entry, much less attempt any of my tasks.
Yet attempt them I shall, for it is as Miss Kei said: who else will be there to ensure the Skytrade stays afloat?
…If only I could believe mine own words.
~
Blessed be the lovers, Menphina and Oschon.
Your mercy has granted me salvation, and for that I worship and praise they who’ve given me a third life.❞
Amidst the chaos surrounding him, the roar of flames and the screaming of fear and agony, those words rung true in his half-conscious state.
“Leave him!! If he cannot move, he is worthless to me!”
Five years after the Calamity, and those words still haunted him. He told himself time and time again to ignore them, to move past them for he’s surely not the first child to have been thrown away by their own mother, nor would he be the last.
Leave him. He’s worthless to her. How ready his own mother was able to say those words, putting her daughters and other tribeswomen above her own son. It’s always been that way, hasn’t it? She always had a stigma against male Keepers, placing them beneath her; after that day, Lhei’li was all but certain Lhei cursed the days she birthed three sons. He already accepted that he was disposable to her, and closed her off as readily as she closed him off. He’d chosen to move on, to denounce her as his mother as she had her son, but no matter what he wished, those words would always come back to haunt him at the worst times.
Like now, he silently noted through a haze of pain and heat.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, he noticed the lack of familiar weight from his braid. The side of his head was in pure agony and it was a struggle to stay awake. There were injuries he didn’t recognize, though: his nose was burning in pain, as was his wrist and chest. There were cuts and bruises and burns, and he was certain his shoulder was dislocated. It took all his strength for him to open his eyes, and he did so while regarding his surroundings with confusion.
He wasn’t in the Twelveswood anymore. There were no trees surrounding him, but the ruins of a hamlet. He wasn’t surrounded by the debris of Dalamud, but of the Ishgardian merchant’s ship that exploded a ways away. The scent of burning flesh wasn’t from his fellow Keepers, but from the crewmen that were too stubborn to leave their own ship.
And amongst the chaos, stood his crew. Staring down at him. Sneering at him.
“What a sorry sight.”
Captain…?
“A damned right shame. ‘is brains and looks were all ‘e ‘ad…”
Quartermaster…?
“Can’t do much at this point, can he?”
No…
“Might as well toss him overboard for all he’s worth now.”
He started awake, sitting up in a cold sweat and gasping for air. He held a vicegrip on the blanket covering him – or, at least, as much of a grip as he could muster while in a splint. It took his brain a moment to catch up to reality, that the feeling of fire burning around him and the smell of singed flesh was only a hallucination conjured by a dazed mind. Lhei’li curled into himself, frowning. He was safe and sound and still a member of the Skytrade, sleeping in the men’s quarters if only because he’d gotten tired of the sterile scent of the infirmary.
The men’s quarters was dark and silent. The fire in the hearth was low, enveloping the room in a dim, orange glow. He could hear Clyde and Ren softly snoring in the bunks on either side of him, and he could hear the gurgle of the bath in the room beside him. It took him another moment to convince himself that he was still in the Den, that he was still part of the crew despite his indisposed state, that he’s still as needed as he was the day he’d signed the Articles. Why would they save his life otherwise? He was still needed. He was still worth something.
‘Or maybe they just pity you.’
He snarled softly, throwing the blanket off of him and kicking his feet over the edge. Taking care to not disturb his sleeping crewmen, Lhei’li slipped on his spectacles and boots and moved to the door, his steps still uneasy without additional support. He had to stop at the door to gather his bearings, a small voice in his mind telling him: ‘Go back to bed, you worthless sack of shite. It’s all in vain. No matter how hard you work, it’ll only be a matter of time before the Captain finds someone more able and throws you away– just like everyone else. Just like your own mother. Admit it: you’re wasting your time. There’s no use for you here.’
He opted to ignore it. Concussions and doctor’s orders be damned, Lhei’li had work to do. He had to take inventory, calculate the Den’s earnings, tend to the comatose woman – he made a mental note to pass that duty onto Beruht’a – organize the company leves, as well as a number of other duties he usually tended to in silence.
“Worthless.”
He’s not worthless.
“Worthless.”
Twelve be damned, he is not worthless.
“Worthless.”
He’s… Not…
—
@manticorexiv
People mentioned:
@tristanaud
@wickedcrow
@simplyspook
@clydewalker-ffxiv
@docberu
My hands, my eyes, my very soul are all unbelievably exhausted. I haven’t been this tired in years… And yet I feel fulfilled in a way I thought I’d lost. I feared I’d never be this useful again! Far be it from me to hope for injury but… well, unfortunately in this business it is an inevitability. I am only thankful I was here and not… off tending a black eye at the Bobbing Cork. This company has been such a blessing.
Nyx, Tohk and Lhei'li are all stable, I’ve updated their medical records, and bless him… Zevet is asleep in a chair. I find every day that he does so much more than what I pay him for… I can’t fathom why. He is such a strange man. Thankfully everyone else had no reason to stay the night in the infirmary aside from RC- she felt the need to stay with Tohk and I could not bring myself to object. I’ve made sure she has eaten and is comfortable.
As for myself– I suppose it’s my watch, but the brief nap I had doesn’t feel like enough. I may have overreached my physical limits again. I fear I won’t be able to monitor my patients much longer… though they are stable…
We shall see. Writing helps.
Earlier, when we were on foot with the Captain, I was in what I suppose was a treasure recovery party- I’m still not certain of the significance of these Allagan artifacts. I can only assume they tend to yield a fair amount of gil. It’s always the same with these pirates- for that’s what they are. “Privateers,” my tail. Still, I can’t help but have a measure of respect for their tenacious pursuit of happiness. It is refreshing.
Respect- to most, a Keeper of my tribe especially, respect is earned and not given. I can say easily that several of my colleagues have earned my respect without a shadow of a doubt. That Sneak… like Lhei'li, he behaves as most expect a Keeper to behave, despite being a Seeker. I am surprised, to be frank. Strong, silent, sensible- again, qualities I have often envied in my kin. He allowed me to treat him, despite his pride. I appreciate that in a patient. I’d like to get to know him better.
The Captain is something of a mystery. Just when I think he will do something foolish, just when I think he may waver, he proves me wrong. I guess that’s what makes him a good captain. I can’t help but suspect there is far more to him below the surface.
The other two who accompanied us- The Au ri girl and the hyur- perhaps surprised me most of all but…
I just dozed off. Should my charges wake in a few bells, I will need to be rested.
❝You reap what you sow. Never had I identified with a statement so poignantly in my life, but far be it for me to complain for it.
With preparations for the grand opening having occupied much of my time -- especially now that I am an appointed officer for the crew -- I scarce had the opportunity to sit and breathe, much less tend to tasks I would otherwise focus on in my free time. Were it not for recent happenings, mayhap the postponing of our grand opening would not have irritated me as much as it had: to be honored by a matriarch and a well-learned arcanist is one matter, but to be gifted with a treasure trove of knowledge and theories regarding aetherial resonance/manipulation and advanced arcanima... Matriarch Xhosa Jaab, your kindness shall not go to waste. If only I could peruse them now...
Fortune favored us, in the end. The grand opening was a success, and not once had I seen the Den so lively and populated with patrons. The gil we made in gambling and the auctions were plentiful, and although I had been auctioned off to Clyde someone who I do not favor, I could not wish for this event to have gone any better. I can only hope the Captain’s throat makes a swift recovery-- announcing auctions over that crowd could not have been an easy feat, and the condition of his voice the day after spoke volumes in which he could not.
Despite the circumstances of my ending bidder, the process was not too unbearable. Currently I am in talks with the accountant of a magitek company, Keimahl Sterrgeimwyn, who had challenged Clyde in bidding on me for the sake of creating business. I eagerly look forward to our future meetings, as well as the relationship that will prosper between our two companies-- I’m sure the Captain and Quartermaster will be far from opposed with this.
As for my winning bidder... I confess, Clyde Walker was the very last person I would have expected to bid on me, and for 300,000G no less. ‘Twas only recently that I realized I may have been... harsh with my judgment towards him (although after our first impression and his admittance to robbing our company during our first meeting, my suspicions towards him were not without merit), and by the Captain’s and Quartermaster’s word, I’ve decided to give the man another chance, but it still perplexes me that he would choose to spend that much coin on me.
No matter. What is done is done and we've finally the coin to repair the Kiss in time for our next jaunt. There has been no announcement towards what the Captain has planned for us once the ship is repaired, but I shall remain prepared for it -- and my future ‘date’ with Clyde, because I refuse to acknowledge that piss-poor ten-minute drink as a date worth 300,000G -- all the more.
~
Blessed be the lovers, Menphina and Oschon.
Thank you for your good fortune, and may you ever guide our wings to prosperity.❞
I should have taken SO MANY MORE. Screenshot dump from the opening night of the manticore’s den! Espi was up for auction and I as SO sure that I was gonna be forgotten, but I had a lot of bids and a lot of great RP.
I was too caught up in things to take screens of specific RP, though I’m sorry I forgot to take any while Espi was standing on that desk. Or that table. Ah well. Here’s some randoms of beautiful peoples anyway. @gunsmith-cat @degeneratemagicalcatgirl @yekulan-dothkah @oukaori @willis-ffxiv and so many more I can’t remember cause I’m SO TIRED please tag yourselves if you see this.
last night was such a blast, there were SO many people there and i got to see a few people i follow on tumblr! thank you all so so sooooo much for coming out to our grand opening-- here's hoping our next public event is just as good, if not even better!
❝The past few suns have been rather eventful in the Den as of late. I’d long since grown used to such a hectic lifestyle, but there are moments where I yearn for a day of peace, particularly without the Quartermaster’s booming announcements.
I digress, however. As of late, I have been independently studying the making of protective wards during my free time-- which has grown increasingly short in recent days. Far be it for me to complain, as I much prefer to keep to a task rather than wasting away doing naught but keep to the infirmary and studying the properties of various medicinal herbs. However, the need for the ward is great, if the value behind the Allagan cube retrieved along with the Ishgardian chocobos is what I believe it is.
Never will I understand the lack of enthusiasm that came from the crew, even the Captain, over the map that was sealed within the cube. The security measures may have been unorthodox at best, and I well understand frustrations spawned from riddles of all things, but such measures may as well hide a veritable ocean of treasure for all the trouble it was worth. Miss Yugao is at present working hard to decipher the proper coordinates of the map, using the stars as her guide, and I must work in equal measure at finding a suitable ward to protect the cube from “Drake”.
Captain Drake... I had been a member of the Skytrade for nigh on a fortnight and even now I know very little of this enigmatic character. I have, however, worked with pirates and seamen long enough to know when a man and his crew is dangerous. The Captain and Quartermaster speak his name in hushed tones, and our narrow escape of his wrath has more than proven to me that this “Captain Drake” is a force to be reckoned with. Even so, I fear the remainder of the crew have yet to realize the severity of the situation-- particularly Sir Raranpa.
Should the time come that we ever do face Captain Drake and his crew, and our own men choose to underestimate his strength, ‘tis likely the Manticore’s Kiss will meet an early end. I’ve many things left to accomplish, however; should the time come, then Twelve as my witnesses, I will go down fighting.
Regardless, I must not shirk my duties. Aside from my duties in the infirmary and my studies in wards, I’ve been put in charge of the Skytrade’s coffers as the acting accountant. I’ve quite the workload ahead of me, and with Sir Clyde’s infuriating persistence at treating me like his plaything, I will need all the energy I can muster.
~
Blessed be the lovers, Menphina and Oschon.
By the wisdom of Thaliak, lead me to the answers that I seek, and guide my fellow man to fame.❞
((sometimes i consider having lhei'li working in a customer service position in the Den, and then i start laughing because he would be the driest, unwelcoming worker in the whole crew, but he would know just what to say word for word, every single time.
i'll still probably have him man the leve desk from time to time if one of the usuals isn't around, though.
