Cordelia Steele

[nervesofsteele]

Ugh, hate food and wine festivals. My two least favourite things. The worst. 

[mrleapyear]

[txt from Cordelia]: Rule number one: Is that you gotta have fun

[txt]: Always. 

[nervesofsteele]

mrleapyear​:

[txt]: Marina? Good choice. [txt]: I take it you’re enjoying yourself, Cord?

[txt]: I wondered when you’d catch on

[txt]: And yeah, it’s aright. Made some delicious friends who will not remember me tomorrow. ;D

[txt]: How about you??

[mrleapyear]

[txt from Cordelia]: Rule number one: Is that you gotta have fun

[txt]: Always. 

[nervesofsteele]

[txt]: but baby, when you’re done, you’ve gotta be the first to run

[mrleapyear]

[txt]: Okay?

[nervesofsteele]

[txt]: rule number two, is don’t get attached to somebody you could lose

[mrleapyear]

[txt from Cordelia]: Rule number one: Is that you gotta have fun

[txt]: Always. 

[nervesofsteele]

[txt]: but baby, when you’re done, you’ve gotta be the first to run

[nervesofsteele]

truth: Have you ever eaten food off the floor? Dare: text a friend and play a lyric prank on them

Done. Question is if he’s even gonna notice I’m trolling him.

[nervesofsteele]

truth: who is your least favourite person in nola? dare: hold hands with that person for an hour

Okay, let’s see, might need to compile a list. Frank the mailman who looks like Ted Bundy. Gives me the heebie jeebies and also I’m ninety percent sure he licks my mail. Beatrice from the deli who tells me if I keep eating so many french fries I’m gonna look like a whale. Fuck you, Beatrice. Whales wish they looked like this. Jack from pilates class who does not understand personal boundaries or that spandex is a privilege not a right... I could go on.

[steelerose]

it felt like a leather jacket kind of occasion.  Congratulations to the beautiful couple! I’m so excited to be celebrating the bride tonight!

[nervesofsteele]

Looking absolute fire, my dear. Absolute fire.

[nervesofsteele]

Looking like a wealthy widow looking for her next victim I mean tragic husband.

[mrleapyear]

I’m not sure what language that was supposed to make sense in, however, try not to cause too much trouble. 

@nervesofsteele

[nervesofsteele]

The language of slightly drunk and typing one handed. Where are you at, old man? 

[nervesofsteele]

Nothing screams Valentine’s like mooching drinks off of thirsty handsome strangers.

[mrleapyear]

Only you would do that. At least make sure they’re actually attractive, and not after you’re drunk attractive. 

[nervesofsteele]

Starting out sober and hopefully he tens will be interesting enough that I won’t get bored before I get to drunk tens sober threes. 

[nervesofsteele]

Nothing screams Valentine’s like mooching drinks off of thirsty handsome strangers.

[whenthefiretalks]

blazing star; share a secret.

i once set my mom’s car on fire...hey i did her a favor, she needed to rebuild it. 

[nervesofsteele]

whenthemoontalks​:

Originally posted by pettysexed

Hence me keeping her car and burning it. And perhaps i do.

She did get a new and better looking car.

That’s an expensive thing to like lighting on fire, there, bud. Did you at least commit insurance fraud to make it worth your time?

[nervesofsteele]

How many chickens would it take to kill an elephant?

Do the chickens have tools? That’s what I want to know. Are these murder chickens? Because that would change things.

Assuming that it takes approximately 10x the amount of a human’s body weight to crush it’s skull. A grown elephant weights somewhere between 2,700kg and 6,000kg, so we’ll go with 4,000 for a nice middle ground. Which leaves us at 40,000kg worth of chickens. Again, there’s variation in grownass chickens, 800g to 5kg sort of dealio. So let’s go with a 2kg chicken, which leaves us with 20,000 chickens to crush an elephant. This, of course, assumes that we can drop all of the chickens directly on top of the elephant. 

So, 20,000 chickens to kill an elephant that way.

HOWEVER.

A single chicken could also trip an elephant and it could fall off of a cliff. 

So, anywhere between one chicken and 20,000 chickens. 

[nervesofsteele]

Rosie [txt] If you can get his name we can find the wifey since your friend doesn't seem to know how hot she is

[text]: Step one of that mission is in progress

[text]: and Sammy is more like a frenemy than a friend

[text]: like 10/10 would shank but also 10/10 would encourage a friend to bang

[steelerose]

[txt] Good to know.  I know some places to burry treasure.  Deep deep down.  Just saying.   [txt] Keep me updated.  

[nervesofsteele]

[text]: you know all the GOOD things

[text]: You know me, unsolicited updates, always

[text]: Whatchu up to anyway??

[nervesofsteele]

pumpkin patch; what’s your zodiac sign?

Aries, which kinda works for me. Feisty but foolhardy. 

[nervesofsteele]

Rosie [txt] If you can get his name we can find the wifey since your friend doesn't seem to know how hot she is

[text]: Step one of that mission is in progress

[text]: and Sammy is more like a frenemy than a friend

[text]: like 10/10 would shank but also 10/10 would encourage a friend to bang

[mcsammys]

whirling butterflies; would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

“Oh, definitely. He may be married but damn son.”

[nervesofsteele]

mcsammys​:

“I am reading ‘options’ as ‘I am desperate and really want the number of that hot guy’. Which, not gonna lie. Big mood.”

If by “desperate” you mean I have an abundance of confidence, then ding ding ding you are correct, sir. Desperate means I troll tinder