mary

they/she, chronically scared, 18

[nervousyoungtheythem]

strutting down the street to classical music

[nervousyoungtheythem]

it’s only a matter of time

[heythisanimalcantalk]

you can trust me with another dirnk i promise i won't try to kill myself this itme

[nervousyoungtheythem]

so go ahead and regret me but i’m beating you to it dude

[nervousyoungtheythem]

i feel like my body is actively shutting down. everything inside of me is fighting against itself and i just want reassurance that it won’t get worse. everything i do feels like a distraction from the fact that i spend every single day in pain. it’s come to a point where this is all i got, so i cling to it. i don’t take pain meds until it becomes physically unbearable because i want to have one thing in my life that’s constant. i can’t stop drinking even though i know it makes my illness worse, i’m so afraid all the time and i don’t want to be alone.

[nervousyoungtheythem]

sweet socialist, the socialist daughter

[nervousyoungtheythem]

i don’t talk to anyone as much as i talked to you now i don’t know how to talk to you either

[nervousyoungtheythem]

a huge part of me is what i don’t talk about and i’m scared that one day it’s going to eat me alive

[nervousyoungtheythem]

i just want someone to see me but i get so bored when people get to know me

[nervousyoungtheythem]

and i said hell is the sun!!!!

[nervousyoungtheythem]

drinking at 2 am to go to bed, chronic pain flaring up, fucking things up left and right. idk if i can romanticize this anymore

[nervousyoungtheythem]

idk if i’m a girl or if im nonbinary but i know i’ll always be my dad’s son

[nervousyoungtheythem]

three things to never ask me;

- if i’m a lesbian or not

- if i’m nonbinary or not

- if i’m a communist or not

[nervousyoungtheythem]

and my words always sounded wrong, it was easy not to listen

[nervousyoungtheythem]

keep smoking, we hate you (or whatever car seat headrest said)

[oddpossumcreature]

[nervousyoungtheythem]

sometimes you get so used to the way you’ve been treated that you can’t even imagine calling your childhood traumatic until someone else tells you that it wasn’t okay