The Bright Sessions
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Cosimo Galluzzi
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@neuro-fucker
got a few new followers so iāll make a little intro :P
19, they/them
mostly here for kink shit, but i also post random stuff about my day, tho i tend to delete those after a little bit so they donāt overrun my kink posts
minors DNI. obviously.
uhm tw for general mental illness stuff and ig āhardā kinks, lots of cnc shit
i got termed twice, was who-is-confused and leavingsoon.
Licking my own blood off the knife in your hand with the same level of barely controlled lust as when I lick the precum from the head of your cock.
my not-boyfriend-boyfriend has been staying with me and my family for over a week and he doesnāt care if i overhear his therapy calls, and just hearing him use ātheyā for me so naturally is actually insane. like. a cis white guy. whoās sexuality is legit just āi donāt like dickā being so. easily accepting. is. fucking crazy. like iāve been so insane about it, as in telling him if he calls me a girl iāll never speak to him again. but like. still. oml.
happy pride everyoneš„³š„³š³ļøāš
still think about the first time he fingered me and said ādonāt fucking fake it, make me earn itā and i wasnāt faking anything, i was just a mess cause of him ahhhhhhh
his voice when he said it was soooooošµāš« like. idk almost dom i guess so obviouslyšµāš«šµāš«šµāš«šµāš«
that was in february and i still think about it so fucking oftenš«Ŗ
crying to MCR cause i actually miss another human being but like also itās fine cause iām sending him hearts on life360, watching him get further away, but dw Bullets (the album) can save me
the depressive episode is starting to sound like i shouldnāt eat more then a meal and a half a dayš§
boys i think iām cooked
hmm perhaps iām not meant to be with someone whoās not as numb as meā¦
heās freaking out and blaming himself, unable to see iām part of the problem, and iām just trying to use logic on his emotionsā¦
itās interesting to think i used to be a lot more like him, before i figured out how to turn on the numbness, but i donāt really know how to turn it back offā¦ all i know is i donāt think about myself if i donāt have to, itās easy to turn off my brain, heās in the opposite boat though, his brain is far too loud all of the time, always thinking about himself in a bad way, maybe we were doomed from the start, but maybe iām the problem for thinking that way from the beginning.
he has so much pain in the forefront of his mind, but that also means he has more hope and love, iāve shoved my pain down, i donāt really know itās there sometimes, but with it, iāve shoved down the majority of my emotions, i barely have wants or needs, i donāt have motivations anymore, not really, nothing intrinsic. i can relate to him, i just have to remember what i was like around 13-16, still full of emotions, but iām not the most gentle, and i feel bad about that..
funny as hell, he has a busy day of classes and i donāt, so iām still in his room, just folding his laundry and cleaning up (maybe i am my mother), and i have no clue how heāll react, some people get mad, and i get it, but heās been so overwhelmed with everything and lowkey making stuff look nicer helps me regulate soš
hoping itās a win-win
but weāre both kinda losing it with the end of the semester approaching and not knowing when weāll be able to see each other til fall semester starts againš
i donāt think this update makes much senseā¦.š¤·
hmm perhaps iām not meant to be with someone whoās not as numb as meā¦
heās freaking out and blaming himself, unable to see iām part of the problem, and iām just trying to use logic on his emotionsā¦
itās interesting to think i used to be a lot more like him, before i figured out how to turn on the numbness, but i donāt really know how to turn it back offā¦ all i know is i donāt think about myself if i donāt have to, itās easy to turn off my brain, heās in the opposite boat though, his brain is far too loud all of the time, always thinking about himself in a bad way, maybe we were doomed from the start, but maybe iām the problem for thinking that way from the beginning.
he has so much pain in the forefront of his mind, but that also means he has more hope and love, iāve shoved my pain down, i donāt really know itās there sometimes, but with it, iāve shoved down the majority of my emotions, i barely have wants or needs, i donāt have motivations anymore, not really, nothing intrinsic. i can relate to him, i just have to remember what i was like around 13-16, still full of emotions, but iām not the most gentle, and i feel bad about that..
where the fuck did all these newish followers come fromš
i havenāt been that active and youāre still showing upš
helloševeryoneš
accidentally fucked for like five hours last night. after taking a 10mg edible..i usually take fiveā¦.
and he has a tolerance so iām fucked up and heās only a little highā¦.which i do indeed find very hotā¦.
it was actually 20mgššššš iām just dumb and read the package wrong (as did multiple friends thošššš)
my fwb guy offered to punch me in the lower stomach (as a joke) cause my period is like five days late, and i had to be like āi would get BRICKEDā soā¦ and we both had to go to class. but. i was getting turned on by the thought of itšššššš
i think iām the problemš£but also. he seemed like he might do it anyway WHICH MADE ME MORE AHH
ahem. iām sorry. but uhm. hey everyone. whatās up.
accidentally fucked for like five hours last night. after taking a 10mg edible..i usually take fiveā¦.
and he has a tolerance so iām fucked up and heās only a little highā¦.which i do indeed find very hotā¦.
have the smallest bruise on my face, right on an area where it looks like itās just a shadowā¦
but iām happy about it cause it was from being slappedš¤
ALSO i had transtape on yesterday. and he loves tits. and he didnāt care. which like. kinda bare minimum i know. but. never had that irl. like. idk. big fan of guys actually being queer and not pretending just cause i havenāt transitioned medically at allā¦.
anyway it made me very happy and he still gave me hickeys on my chest towards my collarbones and like ugh idk. just. someone being nice and understanding in a sexual manner is like. unknown to me. so.. thatās all i thinkā¦
my entire body hurtsā¦.
took and edible last night and as it was hitting we started fucking. i was genuinely only aware of our bodies. like. i was in a new world and it was just us and holy fuckkk
also we are apparently incapable of fucking for less than two hours at a time?? cause it was like three hours last night until around midnight. and i had an 8am class today. i made it but. iām about to nap now. and now itās really obvious to me how much i hurt. cause i genuinely donāt even know what my body did, i donāt know how many times i came but i just know my muscles hurtā¦.
I had a dream where u had like a handful of cum and u posted a pic on ur blog and i wrote slurp under it
thatās real as fuck actually. i respect that heavyš«”
also i love being featured in dreams so everyone tell me if you dream about me in any way:P
