Never The Red Can

enjoyer of kindness | dry humor | cars traveling rapidly towards a checkered flag | men who make my stomach tingle | nature

[crookedmedia]

People don’t like Ted Cruz very much

[eli0tknight-deactivated20181203]

All our generation wants is a small apartment and a spouse that loves them back.

[wingscanspeak]

I am going to eat this entire candy cane.

[nightowlsupreme]

You’re going to get a cavity

[wingscanspeak]

good

[wingscanspeak]

30 min later, not much progress. 

[wingscanspeak]

Its been an hour. I bit my tongue, my teeth hurts and I’m almost halfway done…

[casualfanboy]

One hour and half done. That’s impressive That takes real skill and perseverance

[wingscanspeak]

an hour and a half. my grandma called and I didnt take it so i could eat this… i hate everything

[wingscanspeak]

i’d rather be eating anything but this

[wingscanspeak]

two and a half hours…. my mouth will never taste normal again

[wingscanspeak]

3 fucking hours

I’ve tasted Satans asshole and it tastes like 3 hours of mint. 

[wingscanspeak]

Please. Please don’t bring this back.

[butchercat]

‘Tis the season.

[animalrates]

A STAMPEDE OF PUGS. I need them all. 13/10

more animals rated here

[adulthoodisokay]

I am honestly at a loss for words.

[digitaldiscipline]

YOU STUPID GODDAMNED HYPOCRITICAL MORONS

[wats-good-gabby]

[shelbyiero-blog]

just to be clear on where i stand,,

[psycho-suiteheart]

feel free to unfollow me if you support that wrinkly old cheese puff

[psycho-suiteheart]

TWO PEOPLE UNFOLLOWED ME IM SCREAMING

[thatglutenfreemuffin-blog]

Unfollow at will

[crazybecat]

Unfollow me and let me know so I can block you.

[joe-strummer]

[hobrien]

I just wanted to get some folks together to pay a tribute to somebody who’s not only been by my side for the duration of this amazing journey but somebody who has devoted his entire professional life to serve this country. The best Vice-President America has ever had - Mr. Joe Biden.

[tastefullyoffensive]

Greatest bromance of all time. (via thegladstork)

[spr0utcity]

reblog if you’re def the kind of person who

says “cool beans”

does finger guns

says “coolio”

“my guy”

“my dude”

ironically said “get rekt scrub” and now can’t stop

“ayyeee” 

makes a lot of weird faces

[tastefullyoffensive]

View this post on Instagram

Trust fall! 🔊

[just-shower-thoughts]

Your future self is desperately wishing you would do something right now.

[never-the-red-can]

This is to real

[just-shower-thoughts]

It’s almost 2017 and we have a space probe over 20 billion km from earth, but there’s still no button to change a highlighted portion of text to all caps without re-typing it

[weloveshortvideos]

[willygurl68]

IM CRYING

[lemonblossomed-deactivated20210]

[odaro]

MOOD

[tastefullyoffensive]

View this post on Instagram

Intimidating borks. 🔊