I'm just the same as I was

Hello! I see you've stumbled upon my little corner of the Internet. My name's Blaine, for anyone who doesn't know that, although I would assume we're fairly close or at least acquaintances if you've managed to find me here. I'm currently a senior at William McKinley High School, and a member of the 2012 show choir Nationals champions, New Directions. More recently, I've also added the title of McKinley's first gay Senior Class President to my belt, which I couldn't have done without the help of my good friend, Sam. I'm trying to branch out a little, but so far I'm not sure any of the clubs I joined are going to stick. It's all about trail and error, though, right? Anyway, it's nice to have something to keep me busy and entertained. There's surprisingly little to do in Ohio by oneself, which is why I'm aiming to get out by the end of the year, New York being my top choice.

[finnbegins]

@ Blaine

[finnbegins]

Yeah.  I… don’t know.  I’ll probably ending up moving with no furniture and stuff.  I’m never gonna feel like I have enough money so I’ll just have to be careful with what I do have.

I… crap.  I might be.  That would suck.  I don’t want to miss that.  I’ll call them and see if I can wait longer to start.  It’s only what like a week difference?

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

No furniture? Well...you need a mattress at the very least, unless you're planning on sleeping on the floor. Food and rent definitely comes first, but you need some furniture, Finn. Eventually. A table at least. A hamper or basket or...somewhere to put dirty clothes.

Well...I'm sure everyone would understand if you couldn't make it. But yes, it would suck. Nationals is the 26th of May and graduation is the 2nd of June, so it's exactly a week. You could probably be on a plane to New Haven the very next day. 

[cityboundkurt]

So... Boston?

[cityboundkurt]

I’d love to— you know I would, Blaine. I just don’t know if I’ll have enough in my budget right now to make three trips in one month alone. I know Rachel doesn’t mind depending on her dads for some of these things, but that just doesn’t sit right with me personally, regarding both myself and my family. I want to be sure I have enough saved up for a while, because I honestly don’t know if Vogue.com will make me an employee after my internship time is up this fall. I just had to choose the two important events that I felt were the most so out of the three, and they were my dad’s surgery and your graduation and move out here.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

Okay... I know it's asking a lot--I just wanted to be sure. I'm sure you don't have to worry about Vogue, though. You'd be a perfect fit and you're good at what you do, and Isabelle loves you. I can't imagine they would just let you go without offering you something. Unless there were just no open jobs at the time, in which case you know you'd be at the top of their list as someone to call whenever they need some new employees. 

[cityboundkurt]

So... Boston?

Have you guys raised up enough money to get there? Naturally I would have asked about a set list before, but with Finn in charge you all seemed to have been more on-the-ball with getting that done in a timely manner than the last-minute-ness of things under Mr. Schue’s coaching.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

I think we've got the budget pretty much covered, actually. Which, speaking of...are you sure you can't make it out for the competition? I know graduation is coming up really quick, but I have a good feeling about Nationals and it would be great to be able to share that with you.

[finnbegins]

@ Blaine

[finnbegins]

Yeah.  Thank you.  I’m basically moving five minutes after Nationals I think.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

...Whoa. That soon? But...that's coming up really quick. Are you going to be ready by then? Does that mean you're missing graduation?

[finnbegins]

Keep your fingers crossed for me.

After an in-person interview, a bunch of paperwork, a phone interview, some more phone calls, and a bunch of checking to make sure my social security number isn’t a lie… 

I think I have a job in New Haven.  This is actually happening. Like…working out and coming together.

Just one more phone call before I find out and they said they’d call this week.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

Congratulations, Finn! That's really, really great. It sounds like you're just about all set to move in, huh?

[finnbegins]

Just in case you didn't hear from Kurt.

[finnbegins]

Totally.  You’re welcome any time, man.  This is your family too, right?  I hear you on feeling useless.  Well… I kinda just feel like I’m babysitting my mom and it’s backwards and awful in some ways. 

But no, seriously, come on over.  You’re one of us, you should be here if you want to be.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

Yeah...I mean, it feels like my family, as much as it would if it were Cooper or one of my parents. Well...I'll be there as much as I can be, after school until I have to go home. I can imagine how hard that must be, though, seeing her in such a vulnerable position like that. I hope she's doing okay, though?

Thanks, by the way. It puts me at ease to be there and see him for myself. 

[cardtana-deactivated20130821]

It's Official

I am no longer a U of L student.  Well, okay, so it’s not technically official yet.  Finals ended yesterday and I’ve spent all my free time lately and all of this morning trying to get everything back in the boxes and totes it came down in.  I think I’ve got most of it.  Need to hunt down a few more pairs of shoes from some of the squad…those bitches.  My parents will be down in a few hours.  Sort of a last Louisville hurrah or something.  They wanna go out to eat before we pack up the cars and head back to Lima.  Never thought I’d be this happy to go back to Lima.  Just…there are things there that Louisville was missing.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

Congratulations, Santana! I'm proud of you for going for it. I think you're going to be a lot happier next year. I'm really glad you're coming home, even though I'll only be here for...another month, really. You and Brittany probably have plans for when you return, but I'd like to spend a day with you when you have some free time.

Probably some time after Saturday or Sunday, though. I have to go in on Sunday to help Sam and the rest of the decorating committee clean up after prom.

[finnbegins]

Just in case you didn't hear from Kurt.

Everything went well with Burt’s surgery.  Me and my mom have sort of taken up residence in his room when he’s not resting.  I think he kind of feels sicker than he is if people aren’t around, so we’ve been there basically non-stop. 

Anyway.  We can breathe out now, which is good.  Kurt will be here soon and then he can breathe out too.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

Is it okay if I stop by after school? I told Kurt that I would, and...I mean, I skipped school yesterday to be around for it, but I still feel kind of useless. You can say no--I understand if it would be too overwhelming to have another person in the room.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

finnbegins replied to your video: So Tina managed to record my performance to share...

This is really amazing, Blaine. Seriously good job.

Thanks, Finn. I'm just...glad it's over.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

Sorry I wasn't around much yesterday.

[cityboundkurt]

At least it’s over though, right? Waiting for a letter to come now is it’s own special kind of brutality, but at least you don’t have anything else to do. What’s done is done, and it’s less weight on your shoulders. That’s how I felt after my audition, anyway.

Time for that bath? :P

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

At least it's over now, yes. Waiting is hard, but it's nothing like the nerves and anxiety leading up to the actual audition. I can't say that's not how I'll feel when I actually get the letter, though. 

A bath sounds wonderful. Can I call you while I'm in there, though? I'm kind of tired and it's relaxing--the last thing I want to do is fall asleep in the tub.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

So Tina managed to record my performance to share with those of you who couldn't be there. Specifically Kurt, but if anyone else wants to watch...here it is.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

Sorry I wasn't around much yesterday.

School was unusually brutal--or maybe I was just imagining it because I was so nervous for my audition. I think taking a break Wednesday and Thursday might have actually helped, though. A little, at least. I've never been so nervous for a performance in my life, but Tina and Sam were both there so...that helped a little. Carmen TIbideaux didn't say much which...worries me. A lot. It was kind of a she came, she watched, she went kind of thing. Tina insists it was my best performance yet, but I really don't know about that. I came home, took a shower, talked to Kurt, ate dinner, and crashed at, like, 9:30.

I don't know what to do now. I guess I just...focus on helping Sam with prom and wait?

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

I'm pretty sure I just sank to a whole new level of low.

[finnbegins]

Don’t make yourself sick, man.  I don’t think that’s low, it’s just a sign you’re working a little too hard.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

I'm not--at least, I don't think. My nose isn't red, so that's a good sign--Tina totally called it last time I was getting sick because of that, so I think I'm in the clear. It felt really low--I hadn't even changed into pajamas.

I'm feeling better today, though. Kurt's making me take a break and I'm going to practice some tomorrow but I'm going to try not to over do it. I don't think waking up at a piano is a good way to start the day of my audition.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

I'm pretty sure I just sank to a whole new level of low.

[cityboundkurt]

Fine— practice during the day, but when it’s time for dinner, no more. Blaine, I know you: You are ready. But you won’t be if your audition comes up and you’re too exhausted and drained to really concentrate on it.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

...No, you're right. I should take a break. Can I play through it one more time for you tomorrow before stepping away for the night, though? And...I think on Thursday I'll stop at dinner time and just...try to relax for the rest of the night. Maybe I'll try to go to sleep by ten or something. Hopefully.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

I totally forgot about prom.

[cityboundkurt]

Okay, if you’re sure. Honestly, I’ve grown a bit disenchanted with school dances after the first, but I didn’t want to assume the same for you. If you want, you could come over to my house and we could have dinner together? And just… spend time with each other, maybe?

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

The first three school dances I ever went to were...total busts, really. Well, not totally, but they were enough to make me realize that school dances and I are not meant to mix. Sadie Hawkins with Tina was great, but one out of four really aren't great statistics. So I think I'll skip the risk and go straight to the option I know will make me happy. Dinner and spending time with you sounds perfect.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

I'm pretty sure I just sank to a whole new level of low.

[cityboundkurt]

…Okay, here’s the deal: You’re not going to practice at all tomorrow. Tomorrow after school, you’re going to take a nice break from nonstop practice, and we are going to skype and make dinner together, and then watch reruns of I Love Lucy. After that, you’re going to go to sleep at a decent time in order to not wear yourself out before your audition. Practice is important, but rest is too.

You can go right back to practicing on Thursday, as long as you make sure you’re in bed before midnight. Got it?

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

...What?

Kurt...I can't do that. These are my last three days to practice--closer to two because I really can't get much in on Friday. Maybe a couple of run throughs in the morning and at lunch. ...That does sound really nice, though...Skype and dinner and I Love Lucy. A bath on Thursday would be nice, but I don't think I could rip myself away long enough...

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

I totally forgot about prom.

[cityboundkurt]

Well, as long as cardboard cutouts have been vetoed, I’ll trust your judgment.

Are you actually going to prom, though? Because… that’s the weekend I’ll be visiting my dad. And you, of course.

[neverchangingblaine-blog]

No, no--I think I'll pass this year. I've already been to two proms, and it wouldn't feel right without you, and I don't think I could enjoy myself knowing you're in town anyway. But that doesn't mean I don't want the rest of the school to enjoy themselves and have a good time...and I don't think they could do that with Star Wars cardboard cutouts and The Imperial March playing in the background.

I'd rather spend the night with you, if that's okay.