Bodyguard - Bonus chapter Sixty-Nine "Disillusionment"
Hello, how are you? It’s been a long long time. I'm truly sorry, it's been a crazy year. Here is chapter Sixty-Nine of my Story Bodyguard, yay! It’s the last bonus chapter and the last chapter of Bodyguard! I hope you will like this chapter.
I’m sorry in advance for the mistakes… English isn’t my first language and I do my best. Here is the link to the previous chapter: Click Here.
I hope you will enjoy this chapter :) 💛
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3 months later
How could you do that?
Why did you run away like this?
It’s the worst decision of your whole life… you lost so much with this choice… I’m not sure she forgives you…
Sitting in one of the spooky rooms of the Special Services Branch, Rosie’s words and questions see popping up like a nagging litany in my mind. Back in the United States, not without difficulty with my cover identity, Rosie was the first person I visited. The reunion was intense in emotion and tears… it was only after two hours that she managed to calm down realizing that I was alive and understanding what I was awkwardly trying to explain to her about the real situation.
My death: smokescreen.
My role of spy.
My identity was abandoned in favor of my homeland so that I endorse the characters necessary for my missions.
I spent a total of 4 days with Rosie, in this little locality of Canada that I love so much and which soothes me more. After a certain distance and reserve, she had ended after two days by returning to her usual behavior with me and fully integrating my presence at her side. And it is on these last two days that her questions and her words have completely come to light: no matter how hard I tried to justify my choice, she didn’t understand it. I tried for my part to collect some elements on Amelia… as if to prepare myself for this.
Rosie had thus revealed to me that Amelia visited my parent’s house at least once a year, probably using the key I had given her. She usually stayed there for a week, preferably in the spring, and enjoyed the moments she shared with Rosie, away from the hustle and bustle of the city and her occupation, because obviously, her status was unchanged: an essential artist of the American scene.
I realized, however, that Rosie was sticking to basic information and not telling me anything about what had become Amelia’s life: all the more specific and personal questions that I was trying to ask her, Rosie refused to answer, giving me for all feedback: "You must ask these questions to Amelia. It is up to her to answer you." The mystery was still there for me, as I was back in Seattle:
Is Amelia okay?
How had she lived these almost two years which have passed?
Has she found that hint of happiness that I wished for her when I decided to leave?
--
The cracking of the door takes me out of my memories… and the silhouette of my most loyal supporter appears and walks confidently into the room. A thin smile spreads over my face, like a relief to recognize a familiar face after these two years living in the lie, where I have known only threats and enemies. I get up and shyly take a step forward then take him in my arms for a long second.
- It makes me happy to see you, Nathan…
- Me too Owen… glad to see you got out of this mission…
We stay silent for a few moments, then I go back and take a little distance. I feel his benevolent gaze on me as if he was studying every detail to detect the differences left by time and by my cover identity.
- I see you adopted the three-day beard look… it changes you… he resumes smiling.
- Yes, the budding beard was part of the look of my blanket and I decided to keep it in… it seems fashionable, considering the number of men that I see in the streets of Seattle, I conclude with a smile.
Nathan nods then I can see his face take on a more serious and almost darker appearance.
- How are you, Owen?
The question seems the simplest possible… and yet the tone he uses lets me guess all the meaning he associates with it. I lower my eyes a few seconds before trying my hand at an answer.
- I’m glad to be back home… but the situation is much more difficult than I thought…coming back from the dead is not really a scenario that I have already had the opportunity to prepare…
- Logically, you shouldn’t go through this, given the choice you made almost 2 years ago…
- Yes, I know… and I remember very well that you warned me. But at that moment, 2 years ago, I was convinced I was making the right decision for everyone. And above all, I was convinced that I was the strongest… that the reason would be the strongest.
- I’m not here to lecture you, Owen… I’m here to help you if I can…
He slips a hand into his suit jacket pocket and takes out two items: an envelope and a bunch of keys.
- Here is the key to your apartment: I asked to keep it and not to sell it as you asked me before… I suspected you might change your mind.
I collect the keys, a look grateful for the lucidity of Nathan who knew me better than anyone… even myself.
- And in the envelope?
- In the envelope… that’s what I fought for a week and your call announcing your return. I managed to give you back your Owen Hunt identity, to have your death canceled after long discussions with the management…but you lose your agent status… they don’t want to hear from you anymore.
I was speechless for a few seconds.
What I was doing was completely outside the rules. When you sign up as a spy, it’s a lifelong commitment… the identity that you lose, you abandon it forever. I never imagined that I could have found my life before, back to my true identity…coming back I had prepared to consider an entire life under a new name. Nathan gave me an unexpected and invaluable gift.
- Ho…how did you manage to…
- Don’t worry, he interrupts me, pushing the envelope on the table in my direction. In there you will find all your papers: passport, identity card, license… for the administration, your death never took place and you are an American taxpayer like all.
- I don’t know what you say… I hope you haven’t risk for your situation.
- You know, my career is more behind me than in front of me… I have no more to lose, he says with a smile.
- Thank you, Nathan…
These are the only words that come to me. Words that I express in a breath, won by the unfailing commitment that he shows to me.
- On the other hand, you imagine the compensation…you have no interest in being noticed in any way that it is regarding the authorities and do no imagine having to ask for any support if you were considering becoming a bodyguard again.
- Of course, I understand… but anyway, I don’t intend to completely resume my previous life.
- What are you going to do then?
- I don’t know yet…I have enough money aside to be able to take the time to give another meaning to my professional life…but I know I won’t be able to be anyone’s bodyguard after this experience…
A silence of a minute or more suddenly sets in.
My gaze remains on the bunch of keys and the envelope that materializes this life that I thought was lost forever…I rediscovered my identity, my apartment, and my memories, and yet I knew that some things were different. Things that would be much more difficult to find.
- Do you plan to see her again? Is that why you came back?
Nathan’s question pierces the silence and targets precisely the biggest unknown of my return as Owen Hunt.
- Yes…I did not manage to forget her…I realized that I am more unhappy far from her, that I suffer more than in any other situation. Even if I don’t live up to her expectations…I need to know…to try to be who she expects.
- I won’t tell you anything about Amelia, you have to confront her alone…but know that two years is short and long at the same time…and your "death" was a terrible ordeal for her…I don’t know how she will react when she sees you again…but prepare yourself psychologically… she went through very difficult times.
Everything Nathan expresses to me, I was already anticipating. But hearing my fears and thoughts thus confirmed by a third party, one of those I trusted the most, only increased my nervousness.
- She…is she fine?
- Yes, she’s fine Owen… I haven’t stopped keeping an eye on her since you left as you asked me. Your return will however be a real shock. She’s been healing her pain for the past two years… she loved you really, you know…
The past that Nathan uses makes me tense despite myself, but I try not to pay too much attention to it. In two years, many things could have changed: for her, maybe I was just a memory…
- Just tell me, what do you hope by seeing her again? Why are you planning to see her again and come back to her life?
- I…I just hope to explain to her that I regret my decision…that this is the only outcome that I imagined, two years ago, I was not ready for anything else, unfortunately…that I blame myself for all this pain that I inflicted on her…
- And now are you ready for something else?
- Yes…beyond all that, I have this somewhat crazy hope, that she hasn’t forgotten me… that the feelings that you evoked are not completely extinguished…
I realize by expressing aloud my previously inner hopes that they may seem completely utopian…and at the same time, I’m in a state of mind to tell myself that I have nothing to lose.
I have already lost so much in the last two years.
I don’t want to have any more regrets, unanswered questions.
Even if I come out with a broken heart, I will know…I will have tried everything…to no longer live with these regrets and these doubts that consume me a little more every day.
- I hope the outcome will be happy for you Owen… but prepare yourself… the journey may still be difficult… and you risk suffering even more…
I nod, but my conviction is stronger than anything…a question burns me despite everything…
- Do you think it’s lost in advance… that I don’t stand a chance?
Nathan looks down as if to think, then quickly finds my pupils.
- I do not predict what may happen… I have never been good at guessing women's reactions, especially when it comes to love… he retorts, a smile in his voice.
I smile back, which relaxes me a bit, after these exchanges marked by a certain tension for me.
- How am I going to find her?
- She lives at an address that you know well…
He lets the mystery hover for a few seconds, before revealing the information I miss.
- Amelia returned to Madison Park… she had the house that was so dear to her rebuilt, as to foil the fate and misfortune that may have taken place there a few years ago.
The revelation made just now by Nathan leaves me wondering and admiring… she found the strength to start over in this place, which corresponded the most to a « home » which she missed so much during her childhood and adolescence. Her strength of character will always impress me… some things had not changed, and my hope is rekindled a little more.
- Good luck, Owen…
Nathan warmly shakes my hand, while placing his other hand on my shoulder.
- I hope happiness awaits you at the end of the road for both of you, you deserve it.
- Thanks for everything Nathan… sincerely…
--
Later in the night
--
The images from the talk with Nathan fulfill my expectations, shifting me from hope to despair.
Here I am again in Madison Park, a few steps from a house that crystallizes all my anguish but also my wishes. This evening in May is particularly sweet and brings back memories of times spent in the same neighborhood, a certain summer. I realize that in 3 months, it will be precisely 2 years since I left her life….that I officially died for her…
I get off my motorbike, the waiting motionless, sitting on my motorbike becoming unbearable. A glance at my watch reveals to me that it is 9 pm: I have already been waiting for an hour…the house remains desperately dark, with no sign of life.
Does Amelia have any commitments outside of Seattle?
Maybe I’m stupidly waiting for nothing and she won’t make an appearance tonight?
I doubt.
I hesitate.
The wait allowed me to observe the details of the house…it seems to have been rebuilt as faithfully as possible to the original building: the same porch with staircase and columns, same large windows to let in light. The only noticeable difference that I notice is the terrace which was built a little more in the corner and the back as if to be better protected from view and the outside.
--
The roar of an engine suddenly gets closer and I make out a taxi driving down the quiet street of this district of Madison Park until it stops in front of this house that I could have drawn with my eyes closed.
The beating of my heart activates immediately in a thousandth of a second.
Without thinking, like on autopilot, my legs start to move and slowly approach the house. I soon see a silhouette getting out of the car.
A female silhouette, dressed in a leather jacket, revealing a guitar bag on the back.
The detail confirms the identity of this young woman for good.
It’s her…she is there, a few meters from me.
My pace quickens as she climbs the steps to her front door. She looks for her keys in her bag for a few seconds, a reprieve that allows me to make up my delay and to place myself silently on the penultimate step of her porch.
I hear the clinking of her set of keys in her hand.
I take a deep breath, my heart seems ready to explode in my chest.
My lips finally let this name escape, which I have whispered every night for so long months while climbing the last two steps to find myself at her height.
- Good evening Amelia…
A metallic and muffled sound then rises.
My gaze catches the silver reflection of the keys on the ground, fallen a few centimeters behind her. The shock of my voice visibly made her escape from her hands.
Her back is still facing me. She stays motionless.
I recognize her silhouette much more precisely. The first detail that strikes me is her hair, which only reaches her shoulders…and this feeling that she is even more fragile and thin than before as if she had lost weight…
I perceive her hands to take place along her body.
Her left hand then starts to shake mechanically.
I speak again as gently as possible to dispel her anguish and shock.
- Amelia…calm down…I know it’s unbelievable at this moment…but it’s me…Owen…
I can see her breathing becoming more jerky and difficult as her shoulders and back jump slightly, and her strong, forced breath echoes up to my ears.
A little helpless in front of her paralysis, I immediately reveal the truth of the situation, the deception that I imagined.
- The truth is… it’s that I did not die at the Music Awards Evening…
Following these words, her body moves slowly in profile and she turns completely.
I discovered her for the first time of these long months, a few centimeters from me.
I recognize the details of her face, then discover this new haircut that looks great on her…but her eyes escape me as she keeps her gaze down. As if she refused to discover my image.
- What you saw almost two years ago… was a smokescreen…
An unexpected reaction then takes place before my eyes: she lifts her face in a sudden movement. But I hardly have time to discover her as a sharp and loud snap hits my right cheek. A slap where she seems to have put all her strength and anger. I close my eyes for a few moments in shock.
I hear her breathing still strong, but the rhythm is slightly different marked more by anger than fear.
I end up looking up and opening my eyes again.
She is there, in front of me, her eyes red and misted with tears. Her wide eyes reveal a vibrant intensity which studies me…observe me…almost rediscover me.
Her features are hard, her expressionless face. The reflection of hurt and shocked woman.
- I can’t go back, but…
- What are you doing here? She interrupts me, with a hint of aggression in her voice. Does your little smokescreen life no longer suit you? She continues with a touch of sarcasm, behind which however I perceive a sharp pain.
In the worst-case scenario I had imagined, I had not considered her first words to be so harsh and scathing…filled with blame and anger. Despite myself, I am destabilized by the turn of events. I was not prepared for this confrontation…for a meeting so fraught with tension.
A few seconds pass in an electric atmosphere.
I study her face, noticing a new emotion take place…anger gives way to pain.
And it is in a less assured and almost trembling voice that she takes the floor again.
- I can’t believe you staged your own death…after all that may have happened… all that I have been able to experience…
- I know it sounds completely illogical… and unforgivable, but just let me explain…
- It doesn’t matter, leave me alone…you are no longer part of my life… she whispers tiredly.
- Amelia, I understand the show this is for you, but…
Footsteps rise behind my back and a voice rings out, interrupting me in my explanations as a silhouette settles alongside Amelia.
- Amelia, everything is fine?
I recognize Andrew with surprise… and my eyes widen even more when I discover a baby, asleep in his arms.
Amelia silently nods to her question and stretches out her hands to take the baby.
She focuses on the arrival of Andrew and this toddler, behaving like I am no longer there.
I remain paralyzed in front of the scene and these exchanges, taken aback by the flow of information that accumulates and collides in my mind.
Andrew watches Amelia pick up the toddler, kiss his forehead, then finally turns his attention to me. I notice his feature wrinkle for a few seconds, then tighten as he recognizes me.
He observes me a little more intense but remains silent.
Amelia, the baby still in her arm, retrieves her keys from the ground and slips them into the lock.
The door creaks open and she steps into the house.
- Andrew…
A touch of exasperation and annoyance awakens in Amelia’s call, while Andrew remains as if fascinated by my presence.
- Yes, honey, I am coming, he finally responds by breaking the connection with my face and coming back in his turn.
The term of affection concludes to answer my questions and to tighten my heart a little more.
A heavy ebony door closes quickly and gradually in front of me while the gaze of the one, who has haunted my days and my nights so much, refuses me…ignoring me completely, as if to show me that I am only a memory for her… a forgotten past and that she does not want to relive.
Before the door closes completely, a few words reach me as the last connection with this woman whom I have betrayed and hurt deep inside.
- Goodbye, Owen…leave us alone.
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Thank you for reading this chapter and this story. It was a great journey with you guys! Hope you will like it.
I wrote a new story about omelia and I don't know if you are interested and if you want to read it. I can post the first chapter and you will tell me if you want to read it or not!
Stay safe and be happy 💛
