ash

I write sometimes; if you want to know how I'm feeling, just check out my feed. |-/

[newborn-ideal]

A few details from my room; original artwork to brighten up my little space ✨

[celesmiths]

[newborn-ideal]

And I'm holding onto you

[newborn-ideal]

Trying to sleep with one eye open; I'm terrified of being swallowed up whole by my fears while I dream.

12:26 a.m

[newborn-ideal]

I'd rather you be oblivious than be showered by your pity.

8:38 pm

[newborn-ideal]

It’s insane to me how far I’ve come along. I haven't achieved anything important but being alive is a somewhat achievement to a girl who’s tried taking her life a few times. Depression is an ugly thing to deal with and when you’re dealing with it ALONE– damn you’re in hell already. I would just think about the many other people there are (probably) in other galaxies; planets with weird names like Hilue or Dyro, full of doppelgängers and weird plants and animals with toxic urine, it made me want to live long enough to see if someone could have discovered a galaxy like that. It hasn’t occurred yet but I’m still waiting.

Stay alive |-/

[newborn-ideal]

I wish I had the guts to tell you you're worth stars and galaxies.

You might think I'm weird

[newborn-ideal]

One on one

It's important for me to be in the shower for a long time because it allows me to think. Thinking (like really, really thinking) is something I can't do while other people are around, while the televisions on or when someone is talking or doing something around me. Shower time is me-time; I can think about things after an argument, it's alone time with myself, I can just think about that day, school or something. It also helps me take out my anger by crying or just sitting there. Family problems, friendship + relationship issues or just arguments in general make me want to go shower for a dozen years. It improves my mood and makes me feel *cleansed* mentally.

[heartbreakhur]

[newborn-ideal]

I can't tell reality apart anymore; I wish my life was a dream.

1:21 a.m

[newborn-ideal]

I was just consumed into an abominable black hole, sucked into oblivion and my mind is in a cage. I'm no longer certain of my surroundings; despair and uncontrollable sadness whiplashed my face, sending me into complete and utter depression. In a matter of seconds, what seems like my entire entity has crumbled once I'm alone, again. Anxiety makes me want to cry and scream and kick the air, I just have to fight it harder at this time of night.

1:14 a.m

[newborn-ideal]

I think I’m an unusual soul. I enjoy doing nothing but read, paint and do handsy-stuff, like crafts. I enjoy weird crime stories and being alone. Plants make me happy, animals are friends and I believe other cultures are to be respected, and beliefs, as well. I believe that love can be with anyone and at any time they please. I like to learn and expose my mind to new things. My music taste varies, I’m not picky with my friends nor books nor music nor artists and poets; I am my own open book, waiting for special souls to write on my blank pages that will add on to my life.

a little piece of me

[newborn-ideal]

But I know we've made it this far, kid.

Twenty One Pilots, Migraine

[newborn-ideal]

His touch overwhelmed me and filled every hidden crevice in my mind and body that no one else could have ever reached.

ash

[newborn-ideal]

My mind races while staring at the stars on a clear night, trying to connect the dots to make constellations, sort of like my thoughts. They’re rambled all over the place in my mind, desperately eager to gather them and string them out into something that makes sense out of that beautiful chaos.

ash

[100493503004422]

where is the nearest black hole? I want to be ripped apart at an atomic level

[music-and-quotes]

I’m pro at imperfections, and I’m best friends with my doubt.

Twenty One Pilots, The Judge (via music-and-quotes)

[newborn-ideal]

Your eyes have a million little stars in them, held in two, big galaxies

And I'm so in love with them