le meilleur est à venir

Amanda. 20. East Carolina University. Political Science. Communications. French.

[newperspectiveee]

« Right now you’re so young, things don’t matter, don’t take things too seriously... »

But lowkey things do fucking matter right now

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Maybe it’s not for me

... and that’s completely okay.

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Today I learned that Zurich is the most expensive city in the world.

Too bad I didn’t learn this a day earlier

Even with that being the case, this is probably the most beautiful place I’ve been

[newperspectiveee]

You know it’s bad when you feel less lonely traveling alone

But at the same time fuck it, I am my own person and I follow myself 🖖

[newperspectiveee]

ugh

I’m really not sure what is up with me lately and why I’m feeling this way, but I honestly want to just leave everything behind me and start a new life in a new place with a completely clean slate.

I’ve lost a lot over the past few years, people I care about, etc and I feel like I’m only making everything worse. I get so caught up in everything around me that I kind of just push everyone away.

It legitimately feels like there’s nothing for me at home anymore and the fact that I have to go back and be stuck there for another year is really upsetting.

The only good thing about this is that I have that year to figure out what I want to do and maybe I have the power to go anywhere I want.

I’ve been in this funk for a while now and I really don’t know what to do or who to talk to about it. I feel completely isolated.

sorry about this emo ass post

[newperspectiveee]

lol (as fucked a everything has been) I just wanna say Vienna fucking rocks

[newperspectiveee]

Follow up post to last night

my series of unfortunate eventually actually made a complete 180 last night, and I ended up exactly where I wanted to be – I guess sometimes things do work out???

[newperspectiveee]

Due to a series of MANY unfortunate events

I am sitting here right now.

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Tonight, right now, I am drunk as fuck in a Hungarian bar, and in this moment I discovered my fatal flaw...

I always want what I can’t ever have.

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Today I learned that when I’m really upset, I literally cannot eat

[newperspectiveee]

Literally ready to crack like an egg at any point these days this is so unhealthy ☹️

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You know what they say...

If you’ve done it once you can do it again. Back to square one. 

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Okay fuck all the other New Years resolutions I made this year, here’s the real one: stop being my own biggest obstacle

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Yep that’s it – I’m just not trying at anything anymore, I’m literally destined for failure.

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This semester is about to physically, mentally, and emotionally break me, but I’m honestly so ready for it

[newperspectiveee]

Operation get my fucking shorts back is SOOOO on literally fuck everyone

[newperspectiveee]

Okay, so I don’t have a finsta but I’ve been dying to make one of these posts because 2017 really meant a lot to me. Believe me, it really wasn’t smooth sailing the whole way — there was a lot of bullshit that I had to come to terms with and address that I never ever wanted to. But everything that happened this year was truly for the best and I cut a lot of toxicity out of my life. Also, I could not be more proud of myself and the person I’m becoming. Although I’m extremely hard on myself, I know for a fact that my 8th grade/high school self would be so proud because I’m literally everything that I’ve ever wanted to be. I love what I’m studying, I have amazing grades, I can speak French, and had the opportunity to study abroad and live with a host family. I’ve met so many amazing people and I have an amazing support system. The one thing that ended up happening that I’m not really proud of was that I’ve grown to be kind of distant from a lot of people that I really care about. This really wasn’t on purpose by any means, I just ended up becoming really occupied with everything that was going on, and that’s okay. This was truly the year I was able to focus on myself and do what was best for me, and I think that’s pretty important. I really needed opportunities to self improve, and I still do. In 2018, I really just want to keep up with everything I’ve been doing and work hard for what I really want. I also want to make sure I keep those who are important to me closer and try not to be as distant. I have never been so excited about a new year because I have so much to look forward to. I might have the chance to study in the Czech Republic and I’m going to work my ass off to make it work out. There are so many great things to come, but I have to thank 2017 for being the best year of my life. Here’s to 2018 and striving for a greater and better self 🌿 Also, side note: I am in a much MUCH better place than I was exactly a year ago today. Thank goodness.