welcome 2 my twisted mind

I'm a new intern at Strexcorp Prime, a super awesome company with a great vision! Love the new CEO, Sara Hamilton! Hope to go big places soon!!

[newstrexintern]

Plant in a Jar

[nospaceofregret]

There was no air.

Spots swam before her vision, interspersed with flashes of light.

There was pain, searing and unbearable, shooting along every nerve in her body.

But she could not scream.

She could not move.

There was time only for one lonely thought: There shouldn’t be blood on my walls.

It was over in a second, and Sara Pauline Hamilton’s lifeless body dropped gracelessly to the blood-spattered floor of her office, her most charming smile frozen on her face.

[newstrexintern]

The thing that wasn't Rosemary let out something between a laugh and a sob and, dropping limply to the floor, burst into flames.

[newstrexintern]

Plant in a Jar

[nospaceofregret]

Sara’s smile faltered, but just for a moment. She needed to get it out. That was the only way she was getting out of this alive. “Well, if you’ve nothing to say, perhaps you’d like to be on your way? I’ve quite a lot of work to do, and I’m sure you do as well.”

And where, where was her security squad?

[newstrexintern]

It smiled and smiled and its smile was wider than the room.

The thing that wasn't Rosemary lifted up its hand and, with no change in expression, clenched its fist.

[newstrexintern]

Plant in a Jar

[nospaceofregret]

Too late, Sara remembered the warning she’d been given, how the jar shouldn’t be opened. Shit, she thought, covering her eyes and turning away from the bursts of light.

Despite her efforts, spots still danced in her vision when the light died down and she looked up again.

At something she didn’t recognize, wearing her PA’s skin.

She swallowed back the rush of fear that flooded her, pushed aside the memories of pain and certain doom that came with it, and forced herself to face the thing.

She thought she recognized it, and she decidedly didn’t like what her vague memories told her. She had a feeling she wasn’t getting out of this so easily.

"Good afternoon," she said, voice steady despite her pulse racing in her ears. Her most disarming smile graced her face and she held the thing’s gaze unflinchingly. She was Sara Pauline Hamilton, and she never backed down. Not even in the face of certain doom. “I’d offer you a cup of coffee, or maybe some tea, but you’re wearing my assistant.”

[newstrexintern]

The thing that wasn't Rosemary said nothing. It did not blink. It did not falter.

Did it even breathe...?

It smiled.

[newstrexintern]

Plant in a Jar

[nospaceofregret]

Sara’s well-honed survival instincts kicked in the moment they moved. She snatched up the nearest thing to hand and hurled it at Rosemary’s face before sidestepping around her desk to try and evade them. Her aim was true, and the small glass bottle sailed gracefully through the air before hitting its mark.

[newstrexintern]

They didn't even have time to think before the thing smacked into Rosemary's forehead.

First there was a noise, brief and loud and sharp, like the popping of a balloon when one doesn't expect it. It was accompanied by a burst of light so harsh it put the Sun to shame.

With a velocity much larger than feasible given how it was thrown, the jar ricocheted and smashed on the ceiling, with another obnoxious burst of light bathing the room at the same time as shards of glass rained down.

Rosemary looked first down at the jar's bent lid on the floor, and then directly into Sara's eyes.

Whatever was staring out at Sara, it wasn't 805, and it certainly wasn't Rosemary.

And it was smiling.

[newstrexintern]

Plant in a Jar

[nospaceofregret]

"I’m not on a mission to destroy any god," Sara retorted coldly. "I’m only furthering my career. And if you think you can frighten me into following along with you?"

Truth be told, she was a little frightened, but only a little. She knew 805 had powers she couldn’t comprehend. But this wasn’t 805 as she knew them; this was a pitiful shell of leftover humanity that wasn’t worth the intern it was inhabiting.

"Squad!" she called again, defiant, "Please come dispose of Rosemary!"

[newstrexintern]

She's stubborn, they thought above their panic. We'll give her that.

And then: We're going to have to kill her. We're actually going to have to kill her. She won't step down, she won't realize the error of her ways, because she believes she is completely in the right.

"You leave us no choice," they growled, and lurched toward Sara.

[newstrexintern]

Plant in a Jar

[nospaceofregret]

"Really?" Sara asked. "Treating employees better? Offering aid to those still recovering from that disaster in Night Vale? Publicly denouncing your Smiling God? All of these are making that monster happy?” She laughed, a harsh, disbelieving sound. “Dears, I’m not sure you understand what I’m trying to do here.”

She shook her head and ran a hand through her hair. “But that doesn’t matter. I’m not walking away. I carved this company out of the remains of Strexcorp with my own hands. It’s my legacy. And you are merely an ant trying to stand in my way.”

That said, she stood straight and proud and called out, “Squad! I need you!”

[newstrexintern]

Oh no. Ohhh, no.

A million scenarios flashed through their minds at once. That hellbeast coming into the room, filled to the brim with loyalty and rage, tearing Rosemary apart and severing their connection to the world. Losing everything they hoped for.

Maybe they didn't hear.

Maybe they didn't. Maybe they did. But it was best to focus only on what could be controlled, and they only really could control what was going on in this room.

They held out Rosemary's hand, steadying it, trying not to show the extent of the effort they were putting into this one simple act, reaching into that awful place where that beast from forever ago was laughing at them even now. They siphoned some of its power, being careful not to let too much flood at once. Steady now... steady now...

With a noise slightly too loud, the door's lock clicked into place.

"We've put a charm on the door. It won't hold forever," they said, keeping Rosemary's hand extended, "but it will keep them out long enough to let us kill you if you try to call for them again." It's just a locked door, they thought. Thankfully that thing was so good at lying. We've picked up a thing or two. "One last chance, Sara. The company's going down either way. The least you can do is save yourself and help us destroy a smiling god. Because what you're doing right now is far from it."

[newstrexintern]

Plant in a Jar

[nospaceofregret]

Sara tensed and kept her eyes trained on them, but refused to step back. She would not be afraid. She was Sara Pauline Hamilton, and nothing could stand in her way. Not even the scraps left over from 805.

She pressed her hands to the surface of her desk hard enough that they couldn’t tremble. Show no fear, she thought. You are in charge of this situation.

"Hilary was disposable," Sara said calmly. "As are you. It’s a shame, you made an excellent PA. We could have turned this company around together."

[newstrexintern]

"Don't you understand? There is no company. It just wants you to think there is a company. By doing what you're doing you're making it pleased as punch."

They wanted to strangle her, to throw her out a window, something to get rid of her. But if they didn't try a different way first, then they had learned nothing from all these years...

"Sara," they warned, trying to keep their calm, "this is your last chance. Step down from this. Distance yourself from this deplorable mindset that causes so much pain. End this. We won't lay a finger on you. But if you won't, then you leave us no choice."

[newstrexintern]

Plant in a Jar

[nospaceofregret]

Sara’s expression went from friendly to guarded in an instant. “Explain yourself, Rosemary.” While she spoke, she pushed back her chair and got to her feet, careful to make no sudden movements.

[newstrexintern]

"You're not talking to Rosemary. You haven't talked to Rosemary even once. Not really." They stepped forward, tested the ground on some irrational instinct. Everything felt wobbly, uncertain. They knew it all rested on these next few minutes, and the weight of it was overwhelming.

"We're... back." Can't give her the wrong idea. Have to let her redeem herself, if that's even possible... "The ones who bested that thing you worked with. The ones who kicked it down and steered your poor co-worker out the window. Hilary. She's in here, you know. She loathes you."

[newstrexintern]

Plant in a Jar

[nospaceofregret]

It was a rare free hour during the afternoon, and Sara was spending it pondering over the strange jar her darling security squad had given her. She knew better than to open it—she took warnings from Security seriously—but she desperately wanted to know what was inside.

At the knock on her door, she set the jar aside, tucking it between her potted spider plant and a stack of files that needed reviewing. She had no appointments, and Security would have stopped anyone else, so she felt safe assuming it was her assistant. "Good afternoon, Rosemary! Come on in!"

[newstrexintern]

Rosemary opened the door and stepped in. They let the door slam behind them.

"Ms. Hamilton," they said, no longer chipper or pretending. "We've had fun, but we think it's time."

[newstrexintern]

Plant in a Jar

Maneuvered by the minds of ten thousand dead, Rosemary Holst walked up to Sara Hamilton's office door and knocked three times.

This is it. They should have been nervous, but they were not. Instead, a sort of dramatic euphoria filled them from head to toe and beyond into whatever else they were. They didn't try to understand it.

We don't need to kill her. They hated her, hated her so much, but this wasn't a death mission. If they had to kill her, they would, but... We just need to get her out of the way so we can dismantle this company.

But how? They were always in conflict with themselves. They'd have to see. It would all become clear. It had to.

[nospaceofregret]

[newstrexintern] Ms. Hamilton! May I come in? We made you some coffee!

Sara quietly opened tucked away the odd little jar she’d been examining into one of her desk drawers. “Of course, dear! Did someone help you catch and reprogram the coffeemaker? Last I heard it’d gotten loose down in Marketing.”

[nospaceofregret]

Sara laughed, and there was an edge of fear to it. “I don’t mind at all,” she said. “In fact, I might take the rest of the day off myself, after I’ve had a chat with Security about hunting down any more of those things that might be in the walls.”

[newstrexintern]

"Thanks so much, boss!"

We don't have anywhere to go.

"Can't wait to get home and draw up some poster concepts - even if you don't use them, of course!"

Maybe we'll just wander aimlessly and think about all the things that were here before they mowed it over and snapped it sideways through time and put all the identical buildings on top of it. Some of us have to remember it, anyway.

"Bye, Ms. Hamilton!"

Maybe we should have just let that thing kill her.

[nospaceofregret]

[newstrexintern] Ms. Hamilton! May I come in? We made you some coffee!

Sara quietly opened tucked away the odd little jar she’d been examining into one of her desk drawers. “Of course, dear! Did someone help you catch and reprogram the coffeemaker? Last I heard it’d gotten loose down in Marketing.”

[nospaceofregret]

Sara took a deep breath and laid her hand on Rosemary’s shoulder. “No, no, it’s not your fault,” she said breathlessly. “I am so glad that worked. Usually she comes after me when I do that.” She closed her eyes briefly and carefully put her composure back together.

"Thank you, Rosemary. That was very brave of you. Why don’t you head down to Janitorial and Maintenance and send some people up to clean this up, and then take the rest of the day off?"

[newstrexintern]

Better to kiss up to her? No, no, better to make her think we're not after her job. Everyone has a breaking point, everyone human at least, and to her, a normal human just beat the shit out of a box of solid metal with huge fangs.

"Th-thanks," Rosemary said. "You really don’t mind? There’s a bit more I could do around here, but…"

[nospaceofregret]

[newstrexintern] Ms. Hamilton! May I come in? We made you some coffee!

Sara quietly opened tucked away the odd little jar she’d been examining into one of her desk drawers. “Of course, dear! Did someone help you catch and reprogram the coffeemaker? Last I heard it’d gotten loose down in Marketing.”

[nospaceofregret]

Sara backed against the door, watching through wide eyes as Rosemary took on the StrexPet. Her mind was reeling. She’d sent Security to deal with solicitors in the lobby. They wouldn’t hear the commotion and burst in the her rescue. But there was no way Rosemary could hold it off forever on her own, and Sara wasn’t going to risk getting mauled by the thing.

But they weren’t the only two in the room.

They had another StrexPet, one that Sara had been painstakingly training. It hadn’t been as successful as she wanted, but it might be their only hope. “Rosemary, I have a plan! Get ready to jump clear!”

"Missy!" she said, looking towards the far corner of the office. Missy looked towards her at the sound of her name and snarled. Sara brought her hand up to her mouth, gently touching her lips. For a moment, nothing happened.

And then Missy launched herself into the fray with an ear-piercing shriek. “Now!” Sara yelled at the same time.

[newstrexintern]

Damn it, they thought. We totally had this! We TOTALLY had this!

With a grunt, Rosemary jumped back from the confused, half-broken StrexPet and watched as the shrieking bundle of fur from the corner slammed into it. Fur, metallic scraps, and something too thick to be blood flew as Missy happily dismantled the bio-machine.

"Y-You can take the cost of the wall out of my paycheck," Rosemary sheepishly offered, watching the carnage unfold.

[nospaceofregret]

[newstrexintern] Ms. Hamilton! May I come in? We made you some coffee!

Sara quietly opened tucked away the odd little jar she’d been examining into one of her desk drawers. “Of course, dear! Did someone help you catch and reprogram the coffeemaker? Last I heard it’d gotten loose down in Marketing.”

[nospaceofregret]

Something in the wall? Sara immediately got up and moved around her desk, putting it between her and whatever was lurking. She eyed the wall warily. “I better have Security check it out,” she said, backing towards the door.

[newstrexintern]

"I think-"

Before they could complete their sentence, the StrexPet burst through the wall, sending chunks of plaster and chips of paint everywhere as it lunged at Sara. Rosemary tackled it out of the air and wrestled it to the ground, pinning it down with her foot. The thing grunted in confusion, still struggling to get at Sara.

"Ms. Hamilton!" Rosemary shrieked. "Get out, quick! W-I'll deal with..." They knocked the creature against Sara's desk, taking advantage of its brief stunned shock to shift it into their hands.

Hoping that Sara wouldn't notice their supernatural strength in the commotion, they began smashing in the StrexPet's metal framework with their fists.

[nospaceofregret]

[newstrexintern] Ms. Hamilton! May I come in? We made you some coffee!

Sara quietly opened tucked away the odd little jar she’d been examining into one of her desk drawers. “Of course, dear! Did someone help you catch and reprogram the coffeemaker? Last I heard it’d gotten loose down in Marketing.”

[nospaceofregret]

"Yes, actually!"

Good god, Sara loved having an assistant. With someone she could trust to deliver messages, she was able to save personal visits to the varying departments under her supervision for special occasions. By now, everyone knew to be nervous when Miss Hamilton showed up.

She took a slim file folder out of a drawer in her desk and passed it across to Rosemary. The folder itself contained plans for a new PR campaign, which Sara had brutally torn apart and revised. The new guy was absolutely rubbish at her old job.

"Take that to PR and make sure Antonio gets it. Don’t hand it off to an intern; give it to him personally. And afterwards, head down to tech and tell them to hurry up and fix the problem with our internal server, would you? I’m about ready to pop in myself to see what’s taking so long. It’s been three days and I’m still getting access errors."

[newstrexintern]

"Yes ma'am!" That was good enough. Simple. Concise. Rosemary turned around and was just about to leave when they felt it inside the wall behind Sara.

Some of our old StrexPets are still in the building. Still creeping around in walls and machinery, feeding on scum and mice and pollution. Still loyal to us, or at least what we used to be.

We could let it be, they thought. We could let it jump out of that wall and kill her. But if she managed to survive its attack...

Rosemary turned back around. "Ms. Hamilton... not to annoy you, of course, but I think I heard something in the wall." They pointed her arm at the space where the StrexPet was hidden.

[nospaceofregret]

[newstrexintern] Ms. Hamilton! May I come in? We made you some coffee!

Sara quietly opened tucked away the odd little jar she’d been examining into one of her desk drawers. “Of course, dear! Did someone help you catch and reprogram the coffeemaker? Last I heard it’d gotten loose down in Marketing.”

[newstrexintern]

"Oh, I tracked it down. It's no bother at all!" She set the mug down on Sara's desk and beamed at her. "Is there anything else I can do for you, boss?"

[newstrexintern]

The only good idea the old CEO ever had was sawing the Moon in half with a laser. Stupid sky circle!!!