Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
d e v o n
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@newweaponx22
Daenerys folds at the first bit of genuine praise she gets. It might take her a while to get used to the fact that its actual praise, but once she accepts that what's being told to her is genuine love and praise and not just because of her titles, she melts.
Jason gives the best hugs. He's got a mean RBF but don't let that fool you. One hug from him heals decades worth of trauma.
Host: I'm kinda a bitch sometimes
Will: yeah, yeah, you are
Host: you're not supposed to agree with me;-;
Will: Oh! No, no you're not:)
Jason: We’re not related, Dick Dick: You take that back Jason: Not by blood Jason: By law though Dick: *long pause* Dick: You don’t respect the law! Jason: I KNOW! I’m legally dead! That’s why I came back! To disrespect the law!
coming soon on patreon and other social media ❤️
Absolutely wonderful - Loki
Hello. I really wish I didn’t have to make this, but alas. I wasn’t really given much choice
As many of you know, I’m a huge fan of D&Dorks. Half of my content is D&Dorks. However, recent events have put me in a place where I can no longer support the show as a whole
I’ll go into detail in another post, as today has left me with no energy and very distraught, but for now I’ll tell you this:
I will no longer be associated with Matthew Selle, aka Sir_Superhero. There is no place for ableism and doubling down or projecting. Such things are not welcome in my space and never will be. Everything I’ve posted that has his face or is tagged with his name will be completely wiped unless relevant as a speaking point. I expected so much better from you
And as for everyone else, specifically those who wish to be any of the -obias and/or -isms, especially towards my friends, let me make something clear: you fuck with my people and you fuck with me
And trust me, you do not want to fuck with me
Important Announcement
Okay, y’all, I was really hoping I wouldn’t have to make this post, but I ain’t really got a choice.
This page is very openly a D&Dorks fanpage, and it will remain that way, but for now and the foreseeable future, I and many other D&Dorks fans do not support Matthew Selle (Sir_Superhero) because, through a series of private messages, he has proven to be very ableist.
More information is going to be rolled out about this very slowly, but if you would like to learn about it sooner, feel free to join the server ( https://discord.gg/jzA8B4Jb ).
TO BE CLEAR, this will remain a D&Dorks fanpage because our problem is with Mr. Selle, not the other dorks, but I will be staying away from anything directly owned by Mr. Selle.
Did a photoshop for the character designs while my husband (@blitzendoggo) was working in the fic “spot in my heart” if you haven’t read it, you should, it’s really fucking good.
Making a picrew chain bc why not
♡ personal, non-commercial use only / ok to use for pfp/references, just leave credit / please don't remove the credit / don't edit or trace
@even-if-in-another-time @when-wax-wings-melt @hamaare @rainy-nights-and-fairy-lights @the-one-and-only-aroace anyone else
tagging anyone who wants to!
tagging @b00kotter @stqrryskiez @mellawithapenguin @skreej @onyxedskies ^_^
picked the things that gave me the most gender envy. i need that choker.
tagging: @rooolt @itsmyturnwiththegender @dazzlerazz @sevarix-blogs @wild-moss-art
It’s non-binary swag I swear.
Tagging: @dazzlerazz @kahtherinee @calzoneboy669
THE GLASSES GO THROUGH THE NOSE ACK
I like this picrew it's nice!
Tagging: @ok-seventhsage @oraclebell17 @thou-shalt-cha-cha-real-smooth @charred-entiity @lostlinkmx and anyone else who wants to do it!
@nightmareeadin @alice42d @smt-adrift @tragicrevenge
@dark-nimbus @dirty-racoon @maxellera @kaiser-author-san-iii @thegraceofebonee @narrlsy
@newweaponx22 @wednesdayhasbeencanceled47 @risktheundead and anyone else who wants to do this!
@blitzendoggo
The Golden Touch
Depictions of cursing and violence
(2242 words)
God of Wealth, what a fucking joke. I’m the god of wealth, but I’ve still gotta pay the price. If you’d told me 80 years ago what I was getting into, I honestly would have done it again, but I was a fucking idiot.
Goodbid rolls out of his bed landing face-first on the floor. The lines of age are etched into his face, and the bags under his eyes are more prominent than ever. His beard has grown in as he hasn’t shaven in months. The years have clearly not been kind to him, as the smile is wiped from his face. He starts to have a coughing fit on the floor. You can almost hear the cancer in his lungs.
He reaches up to support himself as he stands up. As his hand touches the bedspread a gold shine slowly creeps along it. His closet slides open to reveal a black suit with golden pinstripes; he only bothers to put on the undershirt and pants. Before he closes the closet, he lingers on a framed picture of him and his party, his family. He reaches for his cigarette box only to find it empty, so he walks over to his wall, pressing a button, and, with a woosh, the wall slides back to reveal the bustling cityscape of Backspace.
As he climbs down the fire escape-like structure leading down the building, he looks back up at his almost vending machine-like residence. Each occupant has their own designated boxes. Goodbid stands in the middle of the bustling crowd as a figure with a gruff voice approaches him. As he sees who the figure is, his heart skips a beat.
Elias:“Morning, Golden Boy, how’d ya sleep?”
Goodbid:“I told you not to call me that.” Goodbid tries to hide the fact that he loves it. He's always loved Elias, but he won't let anyone get hurt again. “And you know I don't sleep.”
Elias:“Whatever ya say, Golden Boy.”
Elias claps him on the back, Goodbid winces at the touch before remembering it's only skin contact that's dangerous.
They walk through the crowd, and they come upon a stone building very reminiscent of Franklin castle from the main timeline, Elias walks through the front while Goodbid waits outside. He walks over to lean against the wall, his heart speeds up at the thought of him and with this sudden rush of emotion, one of the stones on the building turns to gold.
Elias:“Catch.”
Elias tosses him a pack of cigarettes, Goodbid catches it, but it turns to gold.
Elias:“Damn it, Goodbid, do you have any idea how hard it is to get those?”
Goodbid:“Hey! You know I can't control this shit!”
Elias:“Nah, your powers only act up when you’re nervous or something. Do I get your heart racin’ Golden-Boy?”
Goodbid:“Shut up” Goodbid cracks a faint smile for the first time in a long time.
Elias walks over next to Goodbid offering him a second pack of cigarettes, but first, he takes one for himself. Goodbid takes out his solid gold cigarette holder, placing a cigarette on the end and lighting it. The two lean against the wall, smoking together.
Elias:“Ya know, you could do a lot to help out around here”
Goodbid:“Yeah? How so?”
Elias:“Well, not everyone has unlimited resources, people need money.”
Goodbid:“That's not how the economy works; if I just make more money, the value depreciates.”
Elias:“C’mon if you keep worryin’ about the economy, you’re never gonna have any fun.”
Goodbid:“The answer is no Elias, I can't control this shit.” Goodbid starts to walk away.
Elias:“Well, at least let me buy ya a drink.” He turns back to face Elias with a knowing smile.
A few hours later
Elias buys Goodbid his third drink of the night
Elias:“Ok so lemme get this straight; if you make more money, the value of money goes down?”
Goodbid:“Right.”
Elias:“That makes no fucking sense.”
Goodbid:“It makes perfect sense.”
Elias:“Whatever, no more work talk, tell me about you.”
Goodbid:“Not much to tell.”
Elias:“C’mon, tell me about the Goodbid who never smiles?”
Goodbid:“Is that what they call me?”
Elias:“Yeah, everyone talks about you. I mean all Goodbids smile, what happened to you? What makes you special?”
Goodbid:“I lost my party, after SG died Glib tried to attack the blank and it got him too.”
Elias:“Shit, man, I’m sorry, I didn't know.”
Goodbid:“It's alright. I mean, it's been 80 years. I should be over it by now.”
Elias:“Hey, as a soldier, lemme tell ya, it's okay to still feel shitty about that, watching your friends get killed right in front of you is never easy, but ya just gotta remember that they wouldn’t want you to sulk for the rest of your life.”
Goodbid:“Well, enough about me, what about you, what's your reality like?”
Elias:“I mean we were friends in my reality, we took a few jobs together, and eventually we started working together till…”
Goodbid:“Till what?”
Elias:“You died, and I should’ve been there to stop it. I got called away for a job and your stubborn ass decided to go do a job on your own and got yourself killed.” Elias’ eyes start to swell with tears.
Goodbid:“Ya know, it was kinda like that in my reality, but we were more rivals than anything, but, for what it's worth, ya seem all right ta me.”
Elias:“I think that's the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
The pair gaze into each other's eyes for a moment then Elias leans in for a kiss. As their lips are about to meet Goodbid pulls back, afraid that he might turn the last person he cares about to gold. He puts some golden coins on the table as he rushes out the door. Elias follows him outside, but Goodbid has disappeared into the night.
A few months later
Goodbid wakes up in his bed next to Elias to an alarm going off, he's clearly much more put together, and his room is furnished now. Elias wakes up and shaves Goodbids beard down to a mustache.
Elias“We got new arrivals to greet this morning.”
Goodbid:“Well, let's get to work then,” Goodbid says with a smile, but it's not the cheesy grin the other Goodbids wear.
The couple walks to the docking area where they greet new arrivals, meeting the main party. Glib's eyes are glowing red and he is seething with rage.
Glib: WHERE THE FUCK ARE THEY?!?!
Goodbid(main): Glib, I'm gonna need ya ta take a breath.
Goodbid: Good morning everyone, welcome to Backspace. I'm here to get yall set up if you would just follow me.
Glib: I am not going anywhere with you until you tell me where they are!
Doc: *Doc starts to rattle off questions*
Goodbid: If you just follow me to the D.J.E.C. all will be revealed and everything will be sorted out.
The group begins to follow the couple, and they approach a building with the letters D.J.E.C. brandished across the front.
Goodbid: Mornin’ Doc we got some new arrivals for ya.
Callisto: What the fu…
The party enters a large chamber and sees the council of Docs
Doc Prime: Welcome all to Doctor Johanesses Expanded Council.
Callisto: Why the hell are you in charge?!
Doc 2: Ah, I remember my Callisto, you’ve all got that spirit.
Glib: Someone tell me where Emmi is.
Doc Prime: Emmi is being held in a special containment center which we do not have access to.
Glib: Are you not in charge here?!
Doc Prime: Yes I'm in charge here but Emmi isn't here.
Glib simmers with rage.
Doc: This is so intriguing, how did you all form this council?
Doc Prime: That is a story for another time, but right now, Goodbid 718 will get you set up with your monetary value and housing.
Goodbid(main): Does that mean me?
Goodbid: No, that means me. You’re Goodbid 846.
Bello: Mister Doc man, are these your siblings?
Doc: No, Bello, but we'll talk about that later.
Mercury: I appreciate the housing but, I’ve got my trusty Time Skimmer for a home.
Doc Prime: Ah, yes, your ship is going to be dismantled for parts. We require all the resources we can get in backspace.
Mercury: What, you can't dismantle her, she's alive!
Doc Prime: I’m afraid it has to be done.
Goodbid: Alright everyone, follow me. I’ll get ya set up in your apartment.
Sticks: What's an apartment?
Elias: Boy you’re in for a fun time, see ya at home.
Elias plants a kiss on Goodbids cheek before he splits off from the group. Goodbid leads the party to their building, and it is much like his own. It has the same vending machine-like structure except it only has two floors, a floor is added whenever it is required to house new occupants. Goodbid is getting Glib set-up in his apartment, and he is about to leave when Glib finally says something.
Glib: What am I supposed to do, just sit on my ass until I just fucking die?
Goodbid: Listen, Glib, I used to be like that. Guys like us, we’ve gone through so much, but we just gotta keep goin’. If we let this control us, their sacrifice is for nothing, they wouldn't want you to just sulk for the rest of your life.
Glib just sits there saying nothing, he is smoldering with rage. Goodbid gets up and walks across the room to the door, just before he steps through, he turns back to Glib and says,
“Welcome to Backspace, Glib.”
Goodbid goes home to wait for Elias to get home. He waits for an hour, but nothing. Two hours, still nothing. His heart starts racing. Elias should have been home by now, something’s wrong. He pulls on his coat and races outside to find his boyfriend. He makes it to Franklin Castle and sees tire tracks leading away from Elias’ guard post and his shotgun is on the ground. He kneels down to the tracks and under his breath, he mutters,
“Cyber-Cephalyn”
He runs off past Franklin Castle into the wildlands of Backspace. He comes upon the camp of the Cyber-Cephalyn and he sees Elias tied up, he sneaks into the camp and unties his beloved. As they are about to escape a crowd of the Cyber-Cephalyn forms around him. (They are the kraken robot species.)
The crowd parts as one larger Cyber-Cephalyn rolls through it. It has a crown on its dome and a spear in one hand.
Goodbid:“Blob, we don't have to do this, just let us go.”
Warlord Blob:“Well, Goodbid, unfortunately, I can't do that.”
Warlord Blob:“Ya see, I need you. If I remove you from the equation, the whole economy of Backspace crumbles, and that is exactly what I want. Kill him, boys.”
A fight ensues and Goodbid is separated from Elias in the chaos of the struggle. They begin to overwhelm Goodbid, pinning him down to the ground until bang!
Elias reveals a spare gun from his holster and shoots the Cyber-Cephalyn pinning Goodbid down. The two of them are fighting as a unit working with each other to fend off the rest. After the fight is done, Goodbid is leaned up against a wall, panting.
Goodbid:“Elias, you okay?”
Elias:“Johnny.” There is a somber tone to his voice.
Goodbid looks over at his love and there is a golden handprint on his chest and it's spreading. Goodbid crawls over to his dying lover as he slowly turns to gold.
Goodbid:“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Elias:“It's okay,”
Elias, places his hand on Goodbids cheek as it slowly turns to gold.
Tears begin to well in Goodbid’s eyes as the gold crawls up Elias’ neck and face.
With all of Goodbids heart, he tells Elias “I love you.” But it is too late, his lover is gone, replaced by a golden statue.
Six years later
Goodbid is lying in bed when there is a knock on his door. The familiar voice of Glib is heard from the other side of the door.
Goodbid:“Go away.”
Glib:“Goodbid, I gotta talk to you.”
The door slides open.
Goodbid:“The hell do you want?”
Glib enters the room as Goodbid pours himself a drink.
Glib:“I know you’ve been going through it, but I need you to snap out of it because I need your help.”
Goodbid:“Why the fuck do you need my help?”
Glib:“I need a Goodbid, and you’re the meanest son of a bitch I know.”
Goodbid:“No.”
Glib:“What do ya mean no?”
Goodbid:“No.”
Glib:“You haven't even heard the offer yet.”
Goodbid:“Still no.”
Glib:“Listen, I'm gonna tell you something you told me when I first got here, if we don't move on and live our lives their sacrifice was all for nothing, we gotta keep on going through life even if it hurts because they wouldn't want you to just sulk for the rest of your life.”
Goodbid says nothing. Glib walks to the door disappointed and just before he leaves Goodbid asks,
Goodbid:“What's the job?”
A smirk crosses Glib’s face as he turns around to face Goodbid.
The End
