When love comes to an end P.17
While driving back home to get to Barcelona, to my old apartment that seemed to be a living hell at the moment I was crying. I cried, because I was hurt, I was mad at myself for hurting Jonthan like this, he deserved to be loved, even more at a time like this and I did not manage to do so.
I was crying because I was afraid of going back to Barcelona, I had no desire to go back to university, I hated people judging me for hanging out with famous footballers, when I was just as normal person as everyone else. I was failing at school, my parents were disappointed in me and I had no friends.
I had Neymar, I was sure of that… but where does it say that he would make it all better.
If I start dating Neymar people will hate on me even more, say I am a slut going from Jonathan to Neymar in just a day. I was in a big mess.
After driving all the way to Barcelona, I finally arrived to my apartment. I walked inside and it felt different, it felt empty and sad. I made myself a toast and sit on the sofa. I watched the TV, but my mind was somewhere else. I wanted to call Neymar, tell him I’m back, but it was better to avoid him for now.
I went to bed and tried to fall asleep, but it took me more than an hour until I finally did so.
The next morning I woke up and looked at my phone, it was 9am. I had no messages or new calls. I decided to put on some music and get under the shower.
I thought a lot of what to do, I had to find a way to make everything back to normal, but I had no idea where to start.
Then I decided the first thing I need to do is to call my parents, who were probably mad at me, but also concerned what is going on with me.
“Hey” I said afraid as I heard my mother pick up.
“(y/n), where were you. do you have any idea how scared were your father and I?” she almost burst in to tears, I could tell by her voice.
“I know, I’m really really sorry. I just… It’s not easy here.”
“I stopped going to university because I was tired hearing rumors about me and people hating on me just because I am friends with Neymar, Rafinha and others. I just can’t stand being hated on, you know me…” I cried.
“Oh my poor baby. You know you are a nice and kind person, people can say whatever they want, but as long as you know what the truth is you don’t have to worry about them. You only need to care about the people you love and trust me we all know the truth, we love you for you.”
“Yeah, but… You won’t be as sure about that when I tell you something…”
“You know Jonathan right?”
“Yeah, your new boyfriend.”
“Yeah well, he was my new boyfriend. I went away from Barcelona with him; I wanted to start again, away from Barcelona. Long story short, he realized I don’t love him, but Neymar.”
“Oh, and what did he say?”
“He wanted me out of the house, he did not get mad at me, but he was upset. He trusted me.”
“I see. But listen (y/n), you couldn’t force yourself in a relationship where you would not be happy, in love and 100% committed to him. It was better now than after it got too serious.”
“People will talk mom. Aren’t you afraid of what people in Brazil will say about your daughter, I will make a bad image on you and dad.”
“Oh honey, we don’t care of what people will say we love you. As I said before, as long as we know what the real truth is, we don’t care for others.”
“I love you so much,” I cried as I heard her say that, and I realized I should have asked her for advice all along to avoid problems.
“I love you to, both your father and I are happy to have a women like you as our daughter, we love you so much.”
“Tell him I miss him, okay? I will call you tomorrow. I need to take care of my problems and try fixing them. Love you.”
“Do your best, love you too.”
When I hung up, I felt so much better. I was happy my parents were not mad at me as much as I thought; they were the only two persons I would never want to hurt and disappoint.
The next thing I needed to do was call Jonathan, I wanted to apologies for hurting him and make sure he is fine.
“I thought you would never pick up.” I said as I heard him from the other side.
“I’m not that kind of person.”
“I wanted to ask you how are you is your knee okay?”
“Yeah I guess. It does not hurt as much.”
“Good, that’s good. Listen, I wanted to apologize. I know I should have told you the entire truth, but trust me when I say I wanted to make this work I am telling the truth. I was happy with you, you made me feel better, you were there for me and I felt safe when I was around you…”
“But it wasn’t enough was it?”
“No… I loved Neymar my entire life, he was and probably will forever be something special. As much as I wanted to avoid this he would always come back.”
“It’s okay, I get it. I know how first love works. Listen, right now I feel like we should stay away from each other, but you are an amazing girl (y/n), I don’t hate you, but I am in a position where I need to focus on my health and football.”
“If rumors start, don’t care about that, okay? If anyone asks, long distance relationship was not for us.”
“Okay, I hope you get back in shape as soon as possible, I wish you all the best Jo.” I said almost in tears, because even if I did not love him, he was something special, he had a part in my heart.
“Thank you (y/n), and I wish you finally find the love you need. Bye.” He said and then hung up.
I was happy he was so reasonable with me, did not get mad at me, and hung up before even letting me talk. Therefore, another problem was kind of fixed.
Then I looked at the time and realized it was 11.30am so I still had time to go to university. As much as I was afraid to go, I needed to get my shit together and fix this. I did not travel all the way from Brazil to let my future slip away because of some haters and their stupid jokes.
When I was finally in front of the building, I took one big breath in and walked inside to get in my class. Even though I only had two lessons left, it was still a beginning.
When I walked in class, I noticed everyone staring at me. I avoided their looks and went to sit next to the window.
“Oh, look who came back.” I heard someone behind me.
“She probably got left from the footballer.”
I tried to stay quiet, but then I decided to finally step up for myself and stop them,
“What is your problem? Yeah I am friends with Neymar and others; yeah I was dating Jonathan, so? I come here to study not to judge people like you do, so please either stop doing that so loudly I manage to hear or just tell it in my face. Now if you excuse me, I would love to learn something much more important.”
They were all quiet as I turned around to face the board and avoid their surprised faces. Finally, I heard the professor coming inside so they all had to go to their seats and we started our class.
I was struggling a lot because I was almost 2 weeks behind and I had no idea how to get back on track, it would take me a lot of work and time, but I was okay with that. I wanted to do better.
When the lesson finished the professor called me, “(y/n), can I talk to you please.”
“Yes. Is anything wrong?” I asked as I walked to his desk.
“Oh no, I’m just happy you came back to university, I head that you left your studies.”
“Oh, I was in a bad place, but I am back. I will do my best to get on track.”
“Great, I’m really happy you are back. If you need any help be sure to email me.”
“Thank you.” I said and then walked out to go back home, I was happy that I went back to school.
In just one day I managed to do so many things and I was so happy and proud of myself, but I left one more task to do. The worse one, the one I was afraid to do, the one I had no idea what to expect.
I needed to meet with Neymar, but I was so anxious about it, because I knew he knew about my feelings and I knew he loved me, because he told me he loved me and I was not expecting that.
However, I had to see him so I took my car when I got home and drove all the way to get to his house.
When I was there, I was standing in front of his front door for some time, I was too afraid to ring the bell.
Until suddenly someone opened the door and noticed me standing there speechless.
“(y/n)? You.. You are back..” Neymar looked at me surprised.
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