Neyronrose

Hi! My plan here was to put up flower pictures and talk about a TV show I like. I will note that this Tumblr was supposed to be completely self-indulgent and irresponsible. However, some of the Glee blogs I followed turned into social justice blogs, and some were partly social justice blogs all along. I have moments of responsibility when blogging now, oddly enough. Not all moments, but sometimes. After Glee, I got into Marvel (again) and "The Musketeers," a BBC show. I promise I'll put up flower pictures here and there, too.

[neyronrose]

All Romance eBooks closing

I got an e-mail yesterday that All Romance eBooks was closing.  From what I hear, authors got an additional letter saying that one way or another they wouldn't be getting their proper amount of royalties.  If you have books you haven't downloaded yet in your account, better download them now.  They're closing at midnight on December 31st.

[neyronrose]

free m/m book

Soldier by A.K.M. Miles is free today at MLR books.

http://www.mlrbooks.com/ShowBook.php?book=AKMSOLDR

The protagonists foster children who had been abused.  It's a heart-wrenching book.  I liked it, but mind your triggers about reading about past child abuse.

[neyronrose]

free m/m book

All Romance eBooks is having their free book a day "12 Days of Christmas" promo.  Today's book is Hexbreaker by Jordan L. Hawk.  It's a paranormal historical set in turn of the century New York City, with the addition of magic and familiars (beings that can switch between human and animal form and help witches).

https://www.allromanceebooks.com/product-hexbreaker-1999973-366.html

Happy reading!

[neyronrose]

Big Gay Fiction Giveaway

As the subject line says: http://www.jeffandwill.com/biggayfictionpodcast/big-gay-fiction-giveaway-november-20-27/

There are a number of books for free here.  I have read some of them, and had gotten others as freebies in other promos, but I got many that were new to me.  When you get a free book, you are subscribed to the author's newsletter.  This goes through November 27, so here's your chance to get a bunch of gay fiction books.

[neyronrose]

I'm by no means a second-wave feminist.  I like to think of myself as more of a secular humanist.  But I feel like the women's rights cause was set back fifty years or more today because of the results of the election.  Yes, I mean all women, including transgender women.

[neyronrose]

'Paul Neyron' rose

[neyronrose]

'Paul Neyron' rose, in bud

[neyronrose]

Tradescantia 'Miss Kate'

[neyronrose]

Rosa Mundi gallica rose

[spoonsandstripes]

What is Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) and could I have it?

When to suspect EDS (in plain English!)

So you think you have EDS (good overview of symptoms associated wtih EDS)

Symptoms and associated conditions of EDS hypermobility type (many will apply to other types as well). This is a great resource, especially if you are new to EDS. It is written in plain English, and all the conditions are explained

Getting diagnosed/dealing with doctors

Beighton scale (note a positive beighton test does not mean you have EDS, and a negative does not necessarily mean you are not hypermobile. This is just one factor in a complex diagnosis)

Brighton score (used for diagnosing hypermobile type)

Genetic testing?

How to prepare for your appointment

Getting the most from your appointment

Preparing a medical history

Being your own advocate

EDS “bill of rights” (if your doctor is not doing these things it’s a big red flag that you should find someone else)

Suggested medical workup for those traveling to see EDS specialists  (you can save precious time & money by having these results before your appointment and will likely have a much more useful session) 

Hypermobility vs joint hypermobility syndrome (JHS) vs EDS?

When does hypermobility become a problem?

Are EDS hypermobility type and joint hypermobility syndrome (JHS) the same thing?

Hypermobility and illness discusses how hypermobility is associated with ill health, and what might suggest something like JHS or EDS is at play

EDS and low beighton score?

Study that showed poor collagen in people with low beighton score EDS and JHS

Study that showed tendon retraction is common in people with EDS (especially children) causing a falsely low beighton score

About EDS types:

(Note - hypermobile and classical EDS are by far the most common, and probably account for about 90% of all EDS cases)

Hypermobile type EDNF , EDS UK,GeneReviews (most in depth, but written for medical professionals and harder to read)

Tenascin X deficient EDS (previously considered a subset of classical or hypermobile type) EDS UK

Classical type EDNF , EDS UK,  GeneReviews

Vascular type EDNF , EDS UK, GeneReviews

Types with less than 100 reported cases worldwide

Kyphoscoliotic Ehlers-Danlos syndrome EDNF, EDS UK

Dermatosparaxis Ehlers-Danlos syndromeEDNF, EDS UK

Arthrochalasia Ehlers-Danlos syndromeEDNF, EDS UK

Other hereditary connective tissue disorders

Marfan syndrome

(the marfan foundation link)

Osteogenesis Imperfecta

(OI foundation link)

Loes-Dietz Syndrome

(national foundation link)

Stickler Syndrome

Other related disorders

Vascular EDS resources

EDNF vascular resource guide

Ritter rules (life saving rules designed to help recognize, treat and prevent thoracic aortic dissection)

Condensed list of life saving procedures in the ER, during emergency surgery, and post operatively

Understanding vascular complications

clinical reference guide, vascular type

Online vascular EDS support groups

Special precautions for EDS

Why to avoid Fluoroquinoles Antibiotics unless absolutely necessary

A paper explaining that many EDS patients do not respond to local anesthetics. Useful if your Dr does not believe you!

Guide for emergency room doctors

How to decide on what treatment to pursue for your joint problems (especially surgery)

how to handle fragile EDS skin, poor healing, and easy scarring during surgery

Printable wallet card for EDS

Surgery in EDS (especially vascular type)

EDNF medical resource guide

Recommendations for anesthesia and perioperative management in patients with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome(s) (from a medical journal, full text available for free)

Management of autonomic dysfunction/POTS during surgery (bring to Dr if needed?)

How NSAIDS as a long term medication can make things worse

A primer on EDS for the massage therapist

Pain Management

EDNF brochure on pain management

Management of pain and fatigue in EDS hypermobility type/JHS this is written in medical speak, but it has really good information. They break pain down into many different types, give short and long term treatment advice, prevention strategies, and treatments to avoid. Super useful

Drugs and other treatment options for pain in EDS

Breaking the Cycle of Chronic Pain/Poor Sleep/Depression/Fatigue another very useful comprehensive look at a lot of the problems with with EDS face. Lots of good information and treatment ideas. You can watch the full presentation here or read through the slides here

Summary of cognitive pain management and how a pain psychologist might be able to help.

Why testosterone replacement is recommended in male and female chronic pain patients

Better scale for chronic pain (impact of chronic pain scale) The link will have you select answers to questions and will then generate a number

Depression increases perception of pain

Medication and pain relief

Non pharma strategies for pain management

the pain toolbox

Daily living and occupational therapy

Great slide show on pain management from an occupational therapy perspective. It has a lot of ideas for improving your function around the house, adaptive tools, and ways to be more productive and effective in general.

Advice to patients on daily activities. Everything from standing, beds, driving, and gardening

EDS do’s and don’ts

Advice on splints and braces

Great general guide from a physical therapist. Touches a lot of different things from shoes, to TMJD, to PT, posture, and dysautonomia. Very solution focused! I highly recommend reading this if you have just been diagnosed

Working with arthritis

Kids and teens

An educators guide to meeting the needs to an EDS child

Managing pain in children with EDS (video)

articles explaining hypermobility suitable for ages 5-11

teens and dysautonomia

Injury help

Seriously don’t ice your injuries! And this is coming from the doctor who originally coined the term RICE. Also what to do after a sprain instead

What is tendonosis and how is it different than tendonitis?

How do you treat tendonosis

What is Prolotherapy?

What is Stem Cell Therapy?

What is Platelet Rich Plasma Therapy?

Exercise and Physical Therapy

Do’s and Don’ts: exercising with JHS/EDS

Exercise is medicine - especially for EDS (video)

Physical therapy in the hypermobile adult (written for medical professionals)

Physiopedia entry for EDS

Yoga tips for hypermobile students

how pilates can be helpful for someone with EDS,and ways to modify poses to make them more EDS friendly.

Supplements & diet

Here is my massive collection of supplements that may help Ehlers Danlos or an associated condition.

All about magnesium and Ehlers Danlos. A very important mineral, and a very common deficiency

A proposed approach to treating EDS with nutritional supplements

Low FODMAP diet and EDS

low histamine chef (if a low histamine diet is recommended)

Secondary conditions

Dysautonomia/POTS

What is dysautonomia?

POTS overview

POTS: What helps (really great comprehensive list of treatments!)

POTS - What to avoid

common myths

Is your low blood pressure being ignored (aka why low blood pressure can be a problem, and associated symptoms)

POTS, Hypotension, Fatigue and Upset Bowel

Dysautonomia and EDS, symptoms, diagnosis, treatments

Pseudo Psychiatric Symptoms in EDS: This is a must read, even if you don’t have psychiatric symptoms as it is a great explanation of the autonomic dysfunction (dysautonomia) that tends to occur with EDS, how that can effect the body, and some basic treatment ideas. Great and thorough explanation of the symptoms of different types of autonomic dysfunction.  

Useful links on dysautonomia and related conditions

Mast Cell

Mast cell pamphlet

What are mast cells and why should we care about them

Symptoms of mast cell activation disorder (MCAD)

Presentation from the 2014 EDNF conference on mast cells and EDS (option to view as recording or slides)

Spine and brain

What is craniocervical instability? Definitely start with this article. It clearly explains the types of spine and brain problems commonly seen in EDS and is a great resource. I shared this with friends and family to help explain what was going on.

Craniocervical Instability (Dr Henderson the 2012 EDNF Confrence) Video

Craniocervical Instability in Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (by The Chiari Institute) (video)

Chiari malformation and EDS

Yes, EDS and connective tissue disorders are associated with chiari malformation (study)

Chiari surgery with EDS or instability (please read if you are considering surgery for chiari malformation)

About tethered cord

About basilar invagination

About syringomyelia

Headaches

Causes of headaches in EDS (although there are others reasons people with EDS can have headaches besides these listed)

Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and headaches (presentation slides)

EDS and TMJD and CCI (presentation slides)

TMJD checklist

Self massage for TMJD

GI

The role of connective tissue in the GI tract and common GI problems in EDS

Bowel in EDS and JHS

About gastroparesis

12 ways to help a nauseous or unhappy EDS stomach

Fatigue

The importance of orthostatic intolerance (POTS) in chronic fatigue patients (study)

Fatigue and hypermobility

EDS and fatigue (presentation slides from Dr Tinkle)

Causes of fatigue in EDS

Breaking the Cycle of Chronic Pain/Poor Sleep/Depression/Fatigue (video) Also included in the pain section. This is a very helpful look at the issues EDSers face, and how to treat them

Management of pain and fatigue in EDS hypermobility type/JHS this is written in medical speak, but it has really good information. Very specific treatment recommendations

Non-restorative sleep in EDS (presentation slides)

Neurological and mental health

Connective tissue disorders and autism

Neurological manifestations of Ehlers-Danlos syndrome(s): A review This summarizes the wide range of neurological disorders related to EDS from seizures, headaches, neuropathy, structural anomalies, and more  (from a medical journal, full text available for free)

Hypermobility associated with abnormal brain structures and vulnerability to neuropsychiatric symptoms (study)

Poor proprioception and EDS (people with EDS have a poor ability to sense where their body is in space)

Pseudo Psychiatric Symptoms in EDS: This is a must read, even if you don’t have psychiatric symptoms as it is a great explanation of the autonomic dysfunction (dysautonomia) that tends to occur with EDS, how that can effect the body, and some basic treatment ideas. Great and thorough explanation of the symptoms of different types of autonomic dysfunction.  

EDS and anxiety - good review of the research and potential causes. People with EDS are up to 16 times more likely to suffer from anxiety than the general population

Clustering of generalized joint hypermobility with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder, atypical swallowing and narrative difficulties (study)

Psychopathological manifestations of joint hypermobility (study) “Interestingly, in addition to the confirmation of a tight link between anxiety and gJHM, preliminary connections with depression, attention deficit (and hyperactivity) disorder, autism spectrum disorders, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorder were also found”

Other

Skin and EDS - overview of many potential features and management

Bladder and pelvic floor problems and EDS

hormones and hypermobility

MTHFR and EDS (an anecdotal story, but an intriguing one)

Common foot and ankle problems in EDS(presentation slides)

Miscellaneous

Why the zebra?

Advice for care givers

the difficultly of explaining EDS to others, and some suggested questions friends and family may ask someone with EDS

Still have questions? EDNF has an extensive FAQ

Forums and support

EDS clinics (UK)

EDS hotline (UK)

EDS helpline email (USA)

Find a support group (UK)

Find a support group (USA)

Find a support group and online forum just for Canadians

Find a support group for dysautonomia(international)

List of other national organizations for EDS

Dysautonomia international forum

Inspire ehlers danlos forum

Resources

EDNF is the National foundation for EDS in the United States. They have some good info on their about pages, but the real gold lies in the presentations from past conferences (many of which are linked to here). If you go to events, then annual conference, then select a year you will find them.

Ehlers-Danlos Support UK - UK national foundation for EDS. They have really wonderful resources, and many are linked to here

Hypermobility.org is the website of HMSA, a British national foundation for EDS and other hypermobility syndromes. They have excellent info about systemic manifestations of EDS/hypermobility.

Chronic pain partners hosts a webinar featuring and EDS expert twice a month where you can listen to the speaker present on a topic of their expertise, and ask questions in real time.This is one of the best ways to get cutting edge information and to hear from specialists who you would not be able to see otherwise. They maintain an archive of past talks in video, audio, and slide forms. Their original articles focus on modifying daily living, coping with EDS; and inspiration.

Dysautonomia information network has a TON of information about dysautonomia, as well as forums, community, awareness, and help finding doctors

Dysautonomia international - is another excellent resource, providing goo info, hosting an annual conference, connecting patients to studies, raising awareness, and more

This was made my Nina! I live in the US, have EDS and really enjoy researching and organizing things. I blog about managing EDS and related conditions at spoonsandstripes, about coping with chronic illness at howilearnedtocope, and about life and positivity at expeditionhappiness

Last updated 8/31/15

[bookish-but-corruptible-deactiv]

bless this post

[fuckyeahcomicsbaby]

[rainnecassidy]

VACCINATE YOUR FUCKING KIDS

[tagfer]

i know this isn’t my first time reblogging this post to this blog, and it probably won’t be the last. Stay educated.

[neyronrose]

things I heard about a convention

I didn't know where to start, but I think I'll start here: https://twitter.com/amergina/status/722430939855511552

I wasn't at the Romantic Times convention, but I've chatted/corresponded with a couple of people who were there and write m/m.  According to the person who tweeted about it and the people I talked to, the publisher "Clean Reads" was giving away e-readers to people who wore their "Clean Reads" buttons.

I took a look at their submissions guidelines.  They say "no pink parts" and as of yesterday or the day before had "homosexuality" on their "Do Not Want" list.  This was along with "erotica" and "BDSM," among other things.  Today I didn't see the "Do Not Want" part of their submissions guidelines.  It just wasn't there.  I'm sure it will be back up sooner or later.  I should have taken a picture of the submissions guidelines I first saw.

I read romances of all kinds, but usually those that have what "Clean Reads" calls "gratuitous" sex.  I'm pretty sure my definition of "gratuitous" is many, many, many times their level.  I've read all the Jarheads novels, for example.  Much of what I edit is full of "pink parts."

The original person who tweeted said that there were sweet romances that had non-straight characters.  I knew that, because I've read plenty of m/m romance by Charlie Cochrane and Hollis Shiloh.  I asked for recommendations of more, though.  It makes for the occasional nice change for me, but that wasn't particularly why I asked.  I know several people who have read many m/m romances and seem to be a little tired of all the sex scenes in the majority of them.  They would just as soon have a lot of it off-page.  They presumably want to read more about other aspects of the relationship.  It's almost blasphemous for me to say it, but sometimes I want more of a plot than I get with some of the romances.

I am not forgetting the lesbians.  There I have some issues with the ones who are really into second-wave feminism and erase many people, including bisexual women, and have some vicious attitudes towards trans women.  If it doesn't involve politics of that kind, I can enjoy an f/f romance that's not too angsty.  That's all my own take on that side of things.

So where did that "Do Not Want" list go?  Let me know if it shows up again, and what's on it.  I am quite curious now.

[neyronrose]

classic lesbian fiction book on sale

"Beebo Brinker" by Ann Bannon is on sale for $1.99 as a Kindle, Nook, Google or iBook e-book.

Happy reading!

[neyronrose]

interesting books on sale

BookBub featured some interesting (to me, anyway) books on sale.  Simple Jess by Pamela Morsi is on sale at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, and probably other places for 99 cents.  It's a historical romance with an intellectually disabled man as one of the protagonists.  Marrying Stone is the first book in the series.  It had a city man and a socially awkward and isolated country girl as protagonists.  That wasn't especially to my taste.  But I had read Simple Jess first anyway, and could figure out what was going on without reading them in order, although some things made a lot more sense once I'd read Marrying Stone.  The people around Jess in the turn of the 20th century have the prejudices you would expect, but I thought the author was respectful.  Parts of the book are in Jess' viewpoint, and it was enlightening.

Winter Kill by Josh Lanyon (male penname for a woman) is a m/m romantic suspense book that's on sale for 99 cents.  It's available at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, Smashwords, and probably other places.  I'm a fan of Josh's writing, but the way she phrased revealing she was a cis woman as her "coming out" didn't sit super well with me.  Still, I'll read her books. 

[neyronrose]

on the m/m romance front

So I enjoy Keira Andrews’ writing.  I did not enjoy that she had a new book with the tagline “Two straight men.  One desert island.“  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29276390-beyond-the-sea?from_search=true&search_version=service

If you look down in the reviews, a queer man named Julio didn’t like it either.  I’ve read my share of “Gay for You” m/m romances, but usually I much prefer the romances that start out with the guys being gay or bi.  Far too many people – the majority of that majority, authors and readers – are telling Julio to stop spoiling the fun for others, or, even more egregiously, that m/m romances aren’t meant for gay men.  Funny, because I know a number of gay men who read them, and usually they’re not too keen on the “Gay for You” ones either.  Julio is getting some support, generally from people who are in one minority or several themselves.  But mostly he’s getting crapped on.  What do I want to say here?  I think Julio needs a hug.  (He’s on Twitter, too.)  I want to spread the word about this.  As I’ve been taught, partially here, when a person in a minority says they’re hurting, that is not the cue for the majority to tell the person to stop spoiling their fun, or that that thing isn’t meant for the person anyway.  That’s the cue to say, “I’m sorry I hurt you.“  Or at least to listen and think about it for a minute.

[dalecameronlowry]

Ah, so that’s the “kerfuffle” that people keep mentioning in my author groups.

For the record, the only book I’ve read by Keira Andrews is the first in her Amish series. I enjoyed it. (My only nit was that the balance of sex to plot—while expected for the genre—seemed too high given the characters and overall arc of the story.)

I tend not to read m/m romances where either of the protagonists are marketed as straight, though occasionally I’ve read GFY books by accident when I thought from the synopsis the characters were being characterized as bi, pan or queer, until I read the book and they insisted over and over again that they were straight. I don’t have a problem with GFY existing per se, but it doesn’t speak to my experience. I generally prefer my m/m romances to be gay/queer.

That said, as an author, I have feelings about people leaving reviews of books they haven’t read. Those feelings aren’t positive. Alas, Goodreads reviews are a great way to get people’s attention, so I can see why Julio chose the forum he did. The topic of bisexual erasure needs to be discussed. But is tearing down a book you haven’t read the way to do it? Maybe it is for Julio, but not for me. I’ve seen the fallout in my online writers-and-readers communities, and people who I’d love to be more aware of bisexuality and pansexuality have tended to retrench, rather than become more open-minded, in response to the kerfuffle. I’d encourage those who’ve read m/m romances with openly bisexual characters and appreciated the representation to go say so on Goodreads, Amazon, the publisher’s site, Smashwords, or wherever floats your boat. That helps bolster representation, because the more reviews a book has, the more likely Goodreads, Amazon, and search engines are to recommend it to readers.

P.S. You can read Julio’s follow-up to his initial review here. 

[neyronrose]

It seems to be referred to as a "kerfluffle” in most places, yes.  I’ve read all three of the Amish romances, and in one of my reviews I said that the amount of sex to plot seemed high to me.  And I regularly edit books that have a high ratio, but sometimes I like a bit of a change.

From many other reviews of the new book, from readers who liked it, it sounds like I would have liked the book.  But I would have skipped it because of that tagline.  I saw your tags.  I took them as you also saying that m/m romances aren’t meant for gay men.  But some authors tell me that they appreciate having an audience that has gay or bi men in it.

I don’t feel like you have to read a book before deciding that it sounds offensive, especially if you’re in a minority being written about by the majority.  Sometimes that just puts a reader through more pain.

I’ve encountered intense defensiveness and “straight-splaining” from some of the authors I brought this up with.  Other authors with whom I have more of a friendship were sympathetic.  Of course, some of those authors in the second group are queer themselves.

Saying “You have to find the right platform and do it the right way” in order to express your views gives minorities more hoops to jump through.  I was schooled to try to express myself “the right way,” but that can make it easy for the system to shut you down.

I’ve read some of Julio’s follow-ups, and it sounds like he’s in a lot of pain.  I am feeling the pain of bisexual erasure and “straight-splaining” personally, but I’m not getting totally dumped on for it.

[omgstairs]

I have Feelings about GFY but also re: leaving reviews on books you haven’t read. What’s the line for that, exactly? I mean. I’ve left reviews for books based on a minute or two of listening. Is that enough? No? Why not?

The reality is that books are to be absolutely judged by how they are marketed. The whole point to the blurb and cover and all of that shit is to convince people to read the book. If how it is presented isn’t enticing or is, as above, offensive, why shouldn’t this criticism be made to the author?

(And, as it happens, I’m also speaking as an author. People do reviews for all sorts of reasons and we really just need to either accept it or whatever else you need to do to make peace with it. I guarantee you that policing the reactions and behaviours of our readers or potential readers isn’t going to endear you to anyone.)

[neyronrose]

Hi, halobium.  I was thinking of you and some other folks I chat with online sometimes, like Te and Kay, with what I was saying about jumping through hoops, and how telling someone to consume media before making a judgment can end up just causing more pain for the person who is hurt in the first place.  I thought of you, too, when I saw that Julio is a "queer fem brown" man (his words) getting crapped on by straight white women.

[neyronrose]

on the m/m romance front

So I enjoy Keira Andrews’ writing.  I did not enjoy that she had a new book with the tagline “Two straight men.  One desert island.“  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29276390-beyond-the-sea?from_search=true&search_version=service

If you look down in the reviews, a queer man named Julio didn’t like it either.  I’ve read my share of "Gay for You” m/m romances, but usually I much prefer the romances that start out with the guys being gay or bi.  Far too many people – the majority of that majority, authors and readers – are telling Julio to stop spoiling the fun for others, or, even more egregiously, that m/m romances aren’t meant for gay men.  Funny, because I know a number of gay men who read them, and usually they’re not too keen on the “Gay for You” ones either.  Julio is getting some support, generally from people who are in one minority or several themselves.  But mostly he’s getting crapped on.  What do I want to say here?  I think Julio needs a hug.  (He’s on Twitter, too.)  I want to spread the word about this.  As I’ve been taught, partially here, when a person in a minority says they’re hurting, that is not the cue for the majority to tell the person to stop spoiling their fun, or that that thing isn’t meant for the person anyway.  That’s the cue to say, “I’m sorry I hurt you."  Or at least to listen and think about it for a minute.

[dalecameronlowry]

Ah, so that’s the "kerfuffle” that people keep mentioning in my author groups.

For the record, the only book I’ve read by Keira Andrews is the first in her Amish series. I enjoyed it. (My only nit was that the balance of sex to plot—while expected for the genre—seemed too high given the characters and overall arc of the story.)

I tend not to read m/m romances where either of the protagonists are marketed as straight, though occasionally I’ve read GFY books by accident when I thought from the synopsis the characters were being characterized as bi, pan or queer, until I read the book and they insisted over and over again that they were straight. I don’t have a problem with GFY existing per se, but it doesn’t speak to my experience. I generally prefer my m/m romances to be gay/queer.

That said, as an author, I have feelings about people leaving reviews of books they haven’t read. Those feelings aren’t positive. Alas, Goodreads reviews are a great way to get people’s attention, so I can see why Julio chose the forum he did. The topic of bisexual erasure needs to be discussed. But is tearing down a book you haven’t read the way to do it? Maybe it is for Julio, but not for me. I’ve seen the fallout in my online writers-and-readers communities, and people who I’d love to be more aware of bisexuality and pansexuality have tended to retrench, rather than become more open-minded, in response to the kerfuffle. I’d encourage those who’ve read m/m romances with openly bisexual characters and appreciated the representation to go say so on Goodreads, Amazon, the publisher’s site, Smashwords, or wherever floats your boat. That helps bolster representation, because the more reviews a book has, the more likely Goodreads, Amazon, and search engines are to recommend it to readers.

P.S. You can read Julio’s follow-up to his initial review here. 

[neyronrose]

It seems to be referred to as a "kerfluffle" in most places, yes.  I've read all three of the Amish romances, and in one of my reviews I said that the amount of sex to plot seemed high to me.  And I regularly edit books that have a high ratio, but sometimes I like a bit of a change.

From many other reviews of the new book, from readers who liked it, it sounds like I would have liked the book.  But I would have skipped it because of that tagline.  I saw your tags.  I took them as you also saying that m/m romances aren't meant for gay men.  But some authors tell me that they appreciate having an audience that has gay or bi men in it.

I don't feel like you have to read a book before deciding that it sounds offensive, especially if you're in a minority being written about by the majority.  Sometimes that just puts a reader through more pain.

I've encountered intense defensiveness and "straight-splaining" from some of the authors I brought this up with.  Other authors with whom I have more of a friendship were sympathetic.  Of course, some of those authors in the second group are queer themselves.

Saying "You have to find the right platform and do it the right way" in order to express your views gives minorities more hoops to jump through.  I was schooled to try to express myself "the right way," but that can make it easy for the system to shut you down.

I've read some of Julio's follow-ups, and it sounds like he's in a lot of pain.  I am feeling the pain of bisexual erasure and "straight-splaining" personally, but I'm not getting totally dumped on for it.

[neyronrose]

on the m/m romance front

So I enjoy Keira Andrews' writing.  I did not enjoy that she had a new book with the tagline "Two straight men.  One desert island."  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/29276390-beyond-the-sea?from_search=true&search_version=service

If you look down in the reviews, a queer man named Julio didn't like it either.  I've read my share of "Gay for You" m/m romances, but usually I much prefer the romances that start out with the guys being gay or bi.  Far too many people -- the majority of that majority, authors and readers -- are telling Julio to stop spoiling the fun for others, or, even more egregiously, that m/m romances aren't meant for gay men.  Funny, because I know a number of gay men who read them, and usually they're not too keen on the "Gay for You" ones either.  Julio is getting some support, generally from people who are in one minority or several themselves.  But mostly he's getting crapped on.  What do I want to say here?  I think Julio needs a hug.  (He's on Twitter, too.)  I want to spread the word about this.  As I've been taught, partially here, when a person in a minority says they're hurting, that is not the cue for the majority to tell the person to stop spoiling their fun, or that that thing isn't meant for the person anyway.  That's the cue to say, "I'm sorry I hurt you."  Or at least to listen and think about it for a minute.