this is the end, isn't it?

ღ — the sea no longer torments me; the self i wished to be is the self i am.

[ngamchaweng]

okay hi guys!! i’m finally in front of my computer so here’s a little about leo!! if you’re interested in plotting just like this and i’ll slide in your dms :D 

•  WOLF  INFO •

alpha  or  omega: omega

scent: roses, ylang ylang

typical  heat length: five days

color  of  wolf: russet

size  of  wolf: small

•  GENERAL  STATS •

name: leo (NOT!! leonardo) ngamchaweng

age: twenty-five

birthday: june 21 1996

gender: cis male

pronouns: he/him

ethnicity: chinese/thai

nationality: american

occupation: resident, training to be a trauma surgeon, aspires to be the head of the trauma department

education: graduated high school at 16, bachelors in biology from harvard, phd from stanford,

•  APPEARANCE •

height: 5′4

weight: 125

build: small but built: toned arms and stomach, thick thighs and muscular calves. small waist and curvy hips. slender neck and small hands and feet. 

hair: black, has been blond and red in the past

eyes: brown

tattoos: butterfly tramp stamp that he got as a dare at age 19

piercings: five in left ear, six in right, navel piercing

scars: run of the mill scars on knees and elbows from being a rowdy kid, scar on his ankle from breaking it rather severely as a teenager

distinguishing  features: ski slope nose, cat like eyes, small waist, mole underneath his left eye

•  PERSONALITY •

positive  traits: independent, bold, analytical, witty, ambitious

negative  traits: caustic, irreverent, taciturn, guarded, reckless

likes: sweets, long baths, running in the morning, reading, cats, sunbathing, movie theatre popcorn, yoga

dislikes: people that underestimate him, mushrooms, scut work

hobbies: suturing bananas, cooking (when he has time), studying, watching shitty horror movies

quirks: always picks at his cuticles, tugs at his earlobes when nervous, scrunches his nose when he laughs, pushes his glasses up on his forehead to keep his hair out of his eyes, keeps extra crunchy peanut butter in his locker at all times

skills: fighting, being overly snarky, out smarting his peers, keeping calm under pressure, taking control of a situation

weaknesses: being gentle, communicating his feelings in a healthy way, letting his guard down

•  NSFW •

dick  size: 4″

kinks: degradation, humiliation,  feminization, bondage, breeding, edging, impact play, lots lots more

anti-kinks: scat play, watersports

safeword: green/yellow/red

•  HEADCANONS •

born in thailand and raised in the states, leo was always taught by his parents to do better and be better than the rest. he’s taken this mindset all through school (where he graduated top of his class) and into adulthood (he’s now a surgical resident, planning on going cross country for his fellowship)

he feels a little too good for brookside, and if it wasnt for his sick mother he would have never come to this town. he’s aspiring for bigger and better things and he won’t let this bump in the road deter him.

personality wise, he’s very standoffish. it takes a little while for him to let his guard down and enter his inner circle, but once you have, you’re in it for life. he’s a very loyal friend.

very submissive in bed but don’t ever for a second think that he can be bossed around in real life. he’s spent his whole life being told he’s lesser than and pushed around just because he’s an omega and he would literally rather die than let an alpha tell him what to do.

very small statured because he’s an omega but has taken more self defense and boxing classes than you can count one hand so he can beat the hell out of anyone

also a big slut. has no qualms about sleeping around. probably uses sex as a way to receive intimacy because non sexual intimacy scares him and he has no idea how to navigate it

•  WANTED CONNECTIONS •

fwbs aplenty, exes, best friends, enemies/frenemies, someone who wants leo to let his guard down but he refuses

[ngamchaweng]

caninesbit​:

all  it  takes  is  the  smell  of  roses  filling  the  room  and  jonathan’s  need  to  be  near  him  wins.  he  stalks  towards  the  other,  scent  getting  more  and  more  intense  as  he  does;  how  own  responding  tenfold.  leo’s  pheromones  are  screaming  claim  me,  even  if  outwardly  he  isn’t,  and  the  contradiction  is  enough  to  drive  him  wild.  there’s  a  breath  between  them  when  he  stops  and  warm  brown  eyes  are  back  to  red.  “i  don’t  believe  you.”  leo  wants  him,  he  can  practically  taste  it  and  at  this  rate,  the  same  is  true  for  the  opposite.  two  fingers  slip  under  the  chin  that’s  below  him  and  tilt,  requiring  them  to  look  up  at  him.  “if  it’s  makes  you  feel  any  better,  i  find  you  sexy  too.”  it’s  an  understatement.  but  jonathan  can’t  exactly  say  that  ever  since  that  night  in  the  bar  he’s  been  wanting  to  have  him  on  his  knot  so  it’ll  have  to  do.  stumbles  are  met  with  a  smile,  vanilla  now  rolling  into  the  air  with  how  much  that  pleases  him.  “it’s  okay,  we  can  talk  later.”

leo’s mouth is so dry that his throat clicks when he swallows, tastes the scent of pure vanilla on his tongue and craves more. back bows at the same time his chin tilts up, the line of his body presses against jonathan’s and he can’t help the way his eyes roll back slightly at the contact. usually he’d have something witty to say to that, something cocky and a little bitchy, something like you’re damn right i’m sexy –– - but leo can’t find the words. his mind’s gone completely blank. baser instinct is taking over and leo is too goddamn turned on to do anything about it. he’s getting wet, can feel it, knows that jonathan can smell it and all he wants, more than anything, is for the other to do something about it. small hand lifts to grasp the wrist that’s near his face and all he can do is nod, red eyes mirroring the other’s. “talk later,” he agrees, voice nothing more than a whimpered breath.

[ngamchaweng]

caninesbit​:

“just  alright?”  he  already  doesn’t  believe  him,  but  the  blush  that’s  creeping  up  their  skin  confirms  that  leo  thinks  they’re  anything  but.  the  alpha  in  him  preens;  our  mate  thinks  we’re  attractive!  wolfs  practically  chasing  it’s  tail  inside  him  and  that  manifests  in  the  light  that’s  brightening  up  his  eyes.  “are  you  sure?”  he  takes  a  step  closer  to  the  other,  dressed  hands  slipping  into  the  pockets  of  red  velvet  pants  that  are  already  hanging  low  on  his  hips.  “plants.  cooking.  painting.”  he  must  be  on  something  else  entirely  tonight  because  he’s  already  thinking  about  how  he  can  smuggle  the  entirety  of  a  garden  center  in  the  hospital,  along  with  ideas  of  how  they  can  cook  together  and  then  maybe  paint  after.  paint  each  other  too.  it’s  all  very  overwhelming.  “i  think  i  can  manage  to  get  you  something  with  that.”

leo feels pinned under jonathan’s gaze, immobilized like a butterfly in a display case. he has to work to keep his eyes trained on the other’s face and not on the way his stupid fucking santa pants fall just below his hips, leaving nothing to the imagination. “completely sure,” leo breathes out once he’s managed to unstick his tongue from the roof of his mouth. when jonathan takes a step forward, it’s almost like he’s advancing on his prey and leo has absolutely nowhere to go, back already pressed against the wall. he knows his scent’s spiked with how unbelievably goddamned turned on he is. he’s stuck between half wishing he had an excuse to get out of this room and not wanting to leave til he’s so covered in the other’s scent that his own is unrecognizable. “i like other things too. like...” leo’s suddenly forgotten all of his likes and dislikes, forgotten his own name, forgotten how to formulate full sentences. “...i can’t remember right now.”

[ngamchaweng]

caninesbit​:

the  space  between  them  isn’t  wanted,  but  it’s  needed.  any  longer  and  he  might’ve  pressed  his  mouth  to  his,  fuck  the  fact  he’s  injured.  all  bandaged  up  he  stands  to  his  full  height  and  strides  to  small  mirror  in  the  room,  checking  out  the  job  leo’s  done.  it’s  great,  which  isn’t  surprising  at  all,  but  still  nice  to  see,  especially  considering  it’s  his  face  that  was  the  canvas.  jonathan’s  not  vain,  in  fact  he  wouldn’t  have  minded  sporting  a  scar,  but  a  jeong  with  one  gets  people  talking,  especially  back  home.  “y’know  they  say  doctors  are  the  worst  patients,  how’d  i  do  dr.  ngamchaweng?”  reflection  is  forgotten  as  he  pivots  to  the  resident.  “is  this  you  saying  you  think  i’m  sexy?”  he  ponders  for  a  moment,  thinking  over  their  next  question.  “well  what  do  you  like?  besides  hendrick’s  and  tonic  and  spending  my  money?”

“you weren’t as annoying as you could have been,” leo sighs out loftily, attempting to act completely disinterested. his arms fold and he can’t help the warmth that creeps up his neck and stains his face red. “you’re alright,” he concedes after a moment, “an alright santa. that’s what i should have said. i don’t find you sexy whatsoever.” he clamps his mouth shut, mortified at what he’s just said ––- it’s nearing three am and leo is, apparently, losing his mind. instead he focuses on the next question but that’s no better either. there are a lot of things leo likes, a lot of things he’d like to do with jonathan but instead: “i like plants.” safe territory. and getting leo to divulge any information about himself is like pulling teeth but he finds it so easy when jonathan is asking the questions. “and cooking. and also painting sometimes, when i find the time. it, like, relaxes me or whatever.” too vulnerable so he adds, jokingly: “but i think i like spending your money the best.”

[ngamchaweng]

caninesbit​:

long  eyelashes.  defined  nose.  edge  of  jaw.  plump  lips.  elongated  neck.  he  isn’t  even  aware  he’s  done  it  but  as  he’s  doing  a  sweep  of  their  face  he’s  moved  closer,  inches  between  them  morphing  into  centimeters.  flickers  of  red  meet  leo’s  gaze  and  he  takes  a  deep  breath  in,  lets  the  smell  of  flowers  fill  him.  combined  their  scents  make  it  seem  like  one’s  stepped  into  a  rose  garden  in  the  middle  of  a  shower:  invigorating  and  natural.  the  joke  breaks  the  tension  between  them  and  he’s  slipping  back,  rolling  his  eyes.  “thank  you  for  this  by  the  way.”  he  initially  wasn’t  going  to  let  them  help  but  he’s  grateful  he  did,  grateful  leo  forced  him  to.  “i’ll  make  it  up  to  you.”

jonathan moves closer and leo’s eyes immediately fall to their lips. it all happens so quick, he can feel his heartbeat rabbiting and when he glances back up, he catches a glimpse of red that has him reciprocating before he can stop himself. it’s what snaps leo out of it and he turns, creates space between them so that he can breathe air that isn’t thick with the smell of bonfire, screw his head on right and get a fucking grip. this is so not what he needs right now. “i would say any time,” leo starts and he busies himself with discarding his gloves in the trashcan on the other side of the room; “but hopefully you don’t make breaking up fights in a sexy santa costume a habit.” leo turns back once he feels more like himself. pushes his glasses back up on his head to keep his hair out of his eyes and leans against the wall. “oh yeah? and just how do you plan on making it up to me? it better be something good.”

[rheajarrells]

she’s so LOUD

[ngamchaweng]

caninesbit​:

eyes  flutter  closed  so  that  he  doesn’t  have  to  see  them  work.  leo  being  this  close  is  already  making  him  feel  some  type  of  way,  but  it’ll  be  made  even  worse  if  he’s  forced  to  watch  that  cute  little  furrowing  of  brows  up  close.  the  description  of  their  peers  has  a  deep  chuckle  slipping  out,  a  dimple  attached  to  it.  they’re  not  wrong,  it’s  a  shock  how  some  of  them  have  gotten  this  far,  especially  without  hurting  someone.  “i  was  wondering  if  you  were  aware  we’re  the  smartest  ones  here  too.”  a  pause.  “that  makes  me  have  to  ask,  how  do  you  feel  about  me?”  and  he’s  back  to  studying  them  again,  waiting  for  an  answer.

how do you feel about me? the question is difficult. leo doesn’t have an answer because every time jonathan gets close, leo feels confused. feels something that he doesn’t quite have a name for. they barely know each other and leo hates the way he wants to know more about the other; the way his wolf feels safe when they’re around; the way even now, all he wants is for jonathan to touch him anywhere, everywhere, please, for the love of fucking god, just put your hands on me –––- “ i feel like you’re the only one worthy to be my competitor. i actually like how cocky you are, because that makes it even more fun when i get to humble you.” leo’s finished the sutures now and he begins bandaging up his work. if he moves a little slower because he’s not quite ready to put space between them well. no one really has to know that, do they?

[ngamchaweng]

caninesbit​:

the  gurney  is  soft  beneath  him  and  after  a  while  he  allows  himself  to  sink  into  it.  for  the  first  time  he  relaxes  in  other’s  presence,  trusting  them  and  gentle  fingers  to  take  care  of  him.  it’s  evidence  of  how  comfortable  he  is  around  leo  already,  the  fact  that  the  reigns  he  holds  so  tightly  loosen  so  easily.  “i  am  careful,  thank  you  very  much  and  i  wasn’t  going  to  break  anything.  it’s  nice  that  you’re  so  worried  though.”  his  hands  were  the  easy  part,  but  now  leo  has  to  get  even  closer.  he  sits  up  as  they  step  between  his  legs,  the  space  between  them  so  diminished  that  if  he  wanted  to,  he  could  easily  pull  them  down  onto  his  lap  and  place          ‒  he  cuts  off  that  train  of  thought  as  soon  as  it  starts.  he’s  not  doing  that.  eyes  still  darkened  hold  theirs,  “i’ll  take  no  scar  if  you  don’t  mind,  i  gotta  keep  this  face  pretty.”

his words elicit yet another eyeroll. “ i wasn’t worried.” a lie. “but if you get booted out of the running from a stupid injury, then this place won’t be as fun. half of these dumb fucks don’t have two brain cells to rub together and it’s honestly embarrassing.” there’s a laugh, gentle so as not to interrupt his work, and leo leans in even closer to get a better view. he places a hand on jonathan’s jaw (it’s a really, really nice jaw. leo kind of wants to gnaw on it) to tilt his head and the smell of rainfall almost overwhelms him. “maybe you’ll get a scar, maybe you won’t, depends on how i feel about you in the next five minutes.” it’s a joke of course, but the delivery is so serious it’s almost hard to tell.

[ngamchaweng]

caninesbit​:

“thank  you.”  gratitude  is  given  too  soon  though,  cause  with  the  saline  comes  gloves  and  then  a  command  to  sit.  he  stands  as  leo  moves  around  them,  quiet  during  his  take  over.  the  methodical  way  they  prepare  to  help  them  is  incredibly  fascinating  despite  the  fact  he’s  seen  more  doctors  than  he  can  count  do  the  same.  maybe  it’s  because  it’s  leo.  or  maybe  it’s  because  leo  is  taking  such  careful  measures  in  regards  to  him,  either  way?  he  sits  down  the  second  time  they  ask  without  a  word.  “get  enough  alphas  in  one  place  and  they’ll  find  something  to  fight  about,  trust  me.  it  was  over  somebody  being  a  little  too  friendly  with  somebody  else’s  girl  though,  all  bullshit  if  you  ask  me.  i  saw  the  whole  thing  go  down.”  he  looks  up  at  them.  “they’re  fine,  i’m  fine.”

the explanation doesn’t make leo feel better. just the thought of being in a room with that many alphas has alarm bells going off in his head. he has to wonder: how many of jonathan’s alpha friends think of omegas as lesser than? if any of them had been in the position that jonathan is right now, would they laugh at him for trying to take care of them? belittle him? it makes uncertainty roll his gut but he focuses at the task at hand instead, brows puckered in concentration. “you have to be more careful with these things,” leo murmurs, methodically wrapping the knuckles, “they’re your livelihood, dummy. what if you had broken something? then you’d be screwed.” he makes quick work of patching up jonathan’s hand and then moves onto their eyebrow. this means leo has to step even closer, between jonathan’s legs and he tries not to let it affect him. “you may be the best suturer you know,” he says once he starts, “but i’m the best suturer i know. so i promise there’ll be no scar. that is, unless you want one. it might look pretty badass, huh?”

[ngamchaweng]

caninesbit​:

things  move  in  slow  motion.  jonathan  watches  as  leo’s  eyes  take  in  his  hands,  his  eyebrow  and  then  the  kit  that  still  sitting  on  the  counter  adjacent  to  him.  he  doesn’t  know  him  well  enough  to  register  all  the  emotions  that  are  flitting  across  his  face,  but  then  it  settles  one  he  recognizes  all  too  well;  anger.  “i’m  the  best  suturer  i  know,  of  course  i was  going  to  do  it  myself.  now  if  you’ll  excuse  me.”  he  goes  to  dry  his  hands,  jaw  clenched  as  the  paper  towel  he  uses  aggravates  the  abrasions  scattered  across  his  knuckles.  they  begin  to  bleed  again  and  he  lets  out  a  sigh,  forgoing  washing  them  again  and  moving  forward  to  grab  a  pad  of  gauze.  “while  you’re  here  mind  getting  saline  for  me?”

the force of leo’s eyeroll moves his whole body but he does as told and moves toward the cabinet to grab the saline. he grabs a pair of gloves as well because there’s no way he’s not going to help. the only other option is to hog the nurse’s computer again and he knows that that can only provide him entertainment for so long. “sit down,” leo says with a firm voice and he puts his glasses on, washing his hands thoroughly. once the gloves are on he turns, eyebrow quirked and hip cocked. “ i’m serious. sit down. i’m doing this for you and there’s nothing you can do about it.” he takes jonathan’s hand in his, inspecting the damage. “god, what the hell is there even to fight about at a christmas party?”

[ngamchaweng]

caninesbit​:

it’s  that  time  of  night  when  everything  is  quiet,  the  hospital  that’s  usually  brimming  with  activity  silent  in  a  way  that  makes  it  seem  like  time  doesn’t  pass.  jonathan  isn’t  supposed  to  be  here  (  it’s  his  night  off  )  but  with  his  luck  he  manages  to  find  a  way.  in  any  other  circumstance  it’d  be  kind  of  funny,  and  maybe  if  his  knuckles  weren’t  bleeding  and  his  eyebrow  wasn’t  split  and  in  need  of  stitches  he’d  be  able  to  find  humor  in  it.  unfortunately,  he  doesn’t.  suture  kit  that’s  been  stolen  is  grasped  in  his  hand  when  he  finally  sneaks  into  an  empty  room  and  he’s  thanking  god  that  nobody  saw  him  slip  in.  he’s  not  really  in  the  mood  to  explain  that  1)  he  got  in  a  fight,  a  fight  that  he  broke  up  and  won,  but  a  fight  nonetheless  and  2)  why  he’s  dressed  like  a  santa  that  walked  right  off  of  a  december’s  page  in  a  sexy  calendar.  he’s  quiet  as  he  washes  his  hands,  about  to  get  to  his  wound  next  when  the  aroma  of  ylang  ylang  hits  him.  “don’t  you  have  any  patients  to  take  care  of?”

there are so many questions that need answered here. leo’s almost too stunned to speak, the bright red pants and suspenders are part of the reason. ( the other might be the way that jonathan’s biceps flex as he washes his hands but that’s something leo will never, ever admit out loud ). it takes a second for leo’s brain to reboot and he registers the blood on jonathan’s knuckles and his face with a dropped jaw. “ jesus fucking christ, are you okay? did you get into a fight with an elf from the north pole?” he moves closer, spotting the suture kit sitting on the counter. “ holy fuck, please tell me you weren’t going to try and suture that yourself. are you dumb? ”

[soracities]

Walt Whitman, “To One Shortly to Die”, Leaves of Grass

[Text ID: “I am exact and merciless, but I love you —”]

[wells-hannah]

YOU ( 2018 - )

[yeahmoretz]

[jessicajones616]

[ngamchaweng]

there’s nothing leo hates more than slow er shifts. it’s currently 2 am on a saturday night and the last good case that came in ( a pretty gnarly broken ankle, bone jutting out and everything ) had been hogged by a bored and greedy ortho attending. leo’s done enough paper work to keep him up to date for the next 24 hours at least and he’s spent the last hour playing dress up games on the nurses’ computer. so when he notices movement in trauma room three, he’s nosy enough to check it out. it’s only when leo opens the door does he realize exactly who’s in there and what exactly is going on ––– - “ what the hell are you doing?”

[ngamchaweng]

caninesbit​:

and  in  the  next  second  he  stills.  jonathan  is  a  lot  of  things,  but  he’s  never  been  someone  out  of  touch  with  his  instincts  and  the  senses  that  come  with  it.  and  right  now  it  smells  like  he’s  just  had  a  handful  of  petals  thrown  in  his  face.  he  doesn’t  have  to  question  if  it’s  leo,  he  knows  it  is.  and  he  also  knows  that  right  now  his  own  scent  is  spiking  in  reciprocation.  what  he  doesn’t  understand  is  why  just  the  smell  of  them  alone  makes  him  want  to  take  them  out  of  this  bar,  far  away  from  everyone  else  and  keep  them  underneath  him  until  next  week.  tension  leaves  his  body  on  the  next  breath  out  and  he  rolls  his  neck,  finishes  his  beer.  looks  back  at  the  omega  he’s  affected  and  raises  a  brow.  “i’m  sure  you  can  figure  out  the  answer  to  that  last  one  yourself.”

before leo can think to react, to pull himself closer to jonathan, tug him toward the bathroom so he can sink to his knees, his phone chirps. saved by the fucking bell: it’s ben texting that he’s gotten off work early and he’s waiting outside and to hurry the hell up. leo stands on wobbly legs, the gin catching up to him but he’s able to keep his wits about him, tilting his chin to look the alpha in the eyes, small hand patting him on the cheek –– - “ good luck with that, baby.”