I Just Need A Wee

A blog rating the toilets in Northern Ireland!

[ni-toilets]

Lanyon Place Train Station

Privacy: 8/10 - It’s usually pretty busy and there’s full walls between stalls

Utilities: 8/10 - They get this because they had paper towel dispensers, which we all know I love

Overall appearance: 2/5 - I’ll be honest it wasn’t fabulous, but it was fine looking

Cleanliness: 3/5 - It was clean enough yeah

BONUS POINTS: 100 - I found a jar of mousse in my toilet stall and it was ABSOLUTELY DELICIOUS! This was an unparalleled experience

Final score: 121/30

[ni-toilets]

Towns Co Belfast

WOW was this place hipster.

Privacy: 8/10 - There were two doors separating the bathroom from the corridor, and it only had three stalls and it didn’t seem to get particularly busy.

Utilities: 5/10 - One of the three toilets was out of order, and one of the taps didn’t appear to work. There were sanitary bins and sanitary products available to purchase. There was a hand-dryer and no paper towel dispenser.

Overall appearance: 4/5 - It was a nice looking bathroom, not necessarily my style though.

Cleanliness: 5/5 - It all appeared clean.

Overall score: 22/30

[ni-toilets]

Bloomfields Bangor

Privacy: 6/10 - There weren’t too many stalls but when I went in there was constant noise so I could really piss in peace.

Utilities: 8/10 - Well-stocked and had a very good hand-dryer but no paper towels. Inside the bathrooms was an alcohol spray that you could use to clean your seat prior to use, which is the first of its kind I have seen. The flush was adequately powerful.

Overall appearance: 4/5 - Yeah it was fine, standard bathroom.

Cleanliness: 5/5 - It was a perfectly clean bathroom.

Overall score: 23/30

[ni-toilets]

Odeon Victoria Square Belfast

I went to see Love, Simon. It was great!

Privacy: 6/10 - There were many stalls so you could go far away from any occupied one. If you went during a movie, there was very little chance that you would be in the bathroom at the same time as someone else, so it felt very private.

Utilities: 5/10 - I’m getting real mad at the lack of towel dispensers, but they did have sanitary bins, working toilets, and working sinks. The soap dispensers took a little force, but they all had soap.

Overall appearance: 4/5 - It was a very nice bathroom! White walls and floors, very modern looking. Very spacious too.

Cleanliness: 4/5 - Apart from some bins needing to be emptied, this was a clean bathroom!

Overall score: 19/30

[ni-toilets]

KFC Belfast

It was on the same level as the rest of KFC: Really shitty

Privacy: 4/10 - The stall walls and doors weren’t full length, and the lock didn’t feel secure.

Utilities: 3/10 - There were sanitary bins but again, no hand towel dispenser. Nothing in the bathroom was automatic (except for the hand dryer) and the flush was weak. Some of the toilets were out of order. There was a shorter sink, but all of the mirrors were oddly high.

Overall appearance: 1/5 - It was gross and ugly, and the mirrors didn’t match.

Cleanliness: -5/5 - Honestly, this bathroom was a disgrace. Everything was grubby, the floor was dirty, the bins weren’t empty and there was an empty bottle of Blossom Hill wine in my stall, and it was still the cleanest one. I went at around 5pm/6pm, so unless someone was an early drinker, these toilets hadn’t been cleaned since the previous day.

Overall score: 3/30

In conclusion: Fuck KFC

[ni-toilets]

Castle Court Belfast

This was an overwhelmingly terrifying experience

Privacy: 6/10 - Despite not having full length walls or doors and having many cubicles tightly packed, it was hard to hear anything over the din of this busy bathroom so you could pee in peace. I did not, however, have the peace of mind of a sturdy lock, as I wasn’t convinced that mine would hold.

Utilities: 4/10 - Once again there was no hand towel dispenser! There was around double the number of sinks as hand dryers, so a sort of queue would form, creating an incessant noise. Some of the taps weren’t very functional, however, it appeared that all the toilets were workings and there was a sanitary bin in each one.

Overall appearance: 3/5 - I can’t say much, it was a standard bathroom.

Cleanliness: 4/5 - It was fairly clean, but not immaculate.

Overall score: 17/30 

Pretty sure they have more than one bathroom but I went to this one.

[ni-toilets]

Little Wing Bangor

Privacy: 9/10 - This bathroom was just one room which was totally private, but I was racked with fear that someone would attempt to open the door as there was no outside indicator that the toilet was in use.

Utilities: 6/10 - Again, there was no hand towel dispenser. This is a worrying trend, as it has been proven that hand towels are both faster and more efficient at drying hands. The hand dryer was suitably powerful, and there was a filled soap dispenser and sanitary bin.

Overall appearance: 1/5 - The bathroom was very sad looking.

Cleanliness: 4/5 - It seemed fairly clean but it was just a grubby looking bathroom.

Overall score: 20/30

[ni-toilets]

Springsteens Carrickfergus

Really pissed they don’t do pancakes and bacon anymore, that was my jam.

Privacy: 6/10 - The stall doors and walls were not full length but the bathroom was in a secluded area of the restaurant and only contained two cubicles so it was fairly private.

Utilities: 5/10 - The sink was oddly low down. One of the toilets was out of order. There was a powerful hand dryer but no paper towel dispenser. There was a sanitary bin in each cubicle.

Overall appearance: 4/5 - It was a nicely decorated toilet, with a modern feel.

Cleanliness: 5/5 - This was a well-kept bathroom!

Overall score: 20/30

[ni-toilets]

McDonalds Carrickfergus/Abbeycentre

Because yes, I went to two McDonalds in one day and they’re basically identical.

Privacy: 6/10 - The stall doors were not full length, but because of the small bathroom size, you were unlikely to be in the toilet at the same time as anyone else.

Utilities: 7/10 - The flush, tap and soap dispenser were manually operated, although the tap was an auto stop tap. There were sanitary bins in the stalls but no outside bin. There was a very powerful hand dryer but no paper towel options.

Overall appearance: 2/5 - While the decor was nice, the toilets were unbelievably cramped, and I think a smarter option would have been to have a single toilet.

Cleanliness: 4/5 - The bathroom was nice and clean, but there were some stains on the inside of the toilet that could’ve done with some bleaching.

Overall score: 19/30

[ni-toilets]

Translink Train Station Bangor

Privacy: 2/10 - The locks on the stalls were good and the frame on the doors prevented side gaps, but the doors and walls were not full length and there was little privacy.

Utilities: 8/10 - The flush and taps were automatic, but the soap dispenser wasn’t. There was a bin outside as well as sanitary bins in each bathroom. There was also an automatic sanitiser dispenser which you could use to wipe down your toilet seat. There was a power hand dryer but no hand towels. There was also a smaller sink for children.

Overall appearance: 1/5 - It was dark, dingy, and undecorated. No colour scheme was in place and none of the fittings matched.

Cleanliness: 3/5 - While you could be assured of your own toilet’s cleanliness, the place did not look very well cleaned. Nothing unsanitary, just bits of rubbish on the floor which was unseemly.

Overall score: 14/30

Additional notes - The loudspeaker system operating on the train platform also operates in the bathroom, ensuring you don’t miss your train which is handy.

[ni-toilets]

Pit Stop Bangor

Privacy: 10/10 - This was a single occupant bathroom with a full wooden door and a sturdy lock that displayed whether the bathroom was vacant or occupied from the outside.

Utilities: 6/10 - The taps and soap were not automatically dispensing, but could be forgiven for the beautiful Victorian aesthetic. The toilet paper, soap and hand towels seemed to be refilled regularly. There was no sanitary bin, which could be an issue for some, but there was a soft close pedal bin which could be used for sanitary products. There was no hand dryer, but personally, I prefer hand towels. One gripe I have is the toilet didn’t seem to have a very powerful flush so you may want to be careful about the volume of toilet paper you use.

Overall appearance: 5/5 - The bathroom was beautifully tiled and the decor all matched.

Cleanliness: 5/5 - The bathroom was immaculate, with nothing to fault.

Overall score: 26/30

Additional notes - There was pretty artwork in the bathroom hallway and The Beatles “Here Comes the Sun” played while I peed. Overall a highly enjoyable experience.