I have come a conclusion, I'm a magnet toward shitty ass people or friends idek . Because are they really my friend if they are "Shitty" I don't think so. This pass few months maybe years I have come to the realization that's people are so fucken temporary. I don't know what it is, maybe if I put through people's crap they wouldn't leave. I've talk to my mom about this, how a relationship needs commitment and understanding. But am I really going to be okay with being treated like something less that what I know I deserve? No. Maybe that's the problem, maybe I'm the problem. Maybe I should be okay with people being shitty if I don't want them to leave, but lately it hasn't even been about that. I have been feeling used. I feel like people abuse my friendship and once they have gotten the ears to hear their pain or the shoulder to cry on they forget that's I'm human too. They make me feel like a used tissue. It's okay thought cause the people I surround myself with all cool ass people that have someone else waiting for them. But what about me, I'm left alone. Am i going to confront anyone about this? No. Ive never begged for something and never have will. The proper word may not be begging . It's probably something more along the lines of communication, but why can someone just now see the way their actions affect other. Do they really have to be told? Do they have to though how to be great full and appreciative? I Thought that was something you leaned when you where young. The more years pass I come to the relaxation that relationships are not for me ANY type of relationship. If friendships hurt this bad I don't even want to know what a relationship hurts likes. 12/1/16
