Nicholas .

"I am Nicholas David. An Angel. A Warrior."

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

When they had first met, it was love at first sight, something she never believed in and always thought was a ridiculous notion, but the moment they talked, it had clicked and that moment on that couch would never be forgotten. She would still forever regret what she did that night with Jax (May he rest in peace.), but she loved Nick just as much he loved her, even she didn’t realize it at the time. “I know and I’m sorry for throwing all of this at you…I’m sorry. — ”

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

“It’s okay.” It felt right. The two of them. The obstacles facing them were large and couldn’t possibly be missed, but it didn’t stop him from loving her. And he felt it from her, the love she had for him. So he wasn’t surprised as much as he was overjoyed by hearing those 3 words. It made his heart beat hard in his chest. “I’m sorry for going away.. for leaving.” He had said he wanted space but he completely left her, without a word.

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

She would never understand Raphael’s pain when he lost his wings, but she saw it in the way he moved and the haunted look in his eyes. Even if he was against everything Michael did, he still wanted nothing more than his wings back. Maybe she was being selfish and deep down she know she was being selfish, him sacrificing his wings felt like he was giving away his life for hers, she couldn’t do that.  —  I love you. It felt like everything else that was coming out of his mouth felt through deaf ears and all she heard was ‘I love you, I love you’ on repeat. “What did you just say?”

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

Nick’s brows raised as he realized she’d heard, she caught what he said. He hadn’t even really caught it himself but it was true. He had cared about her more than he cared about anyone else and it got stronger when he was away from her. “If there is one sin I’ve committed it’s loving you. I...I love you.” he repeated, even more sure of it once he said it again. “But I’m scared.”

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

A dry laugh left her throat, everything was turning into shit the more they talked about it. Could she even consider doing this, them? When she has her own people to protect, but she was angry, angry at everything, life was unfair and she hated it. “I didn’t say that! — I never said you have to rip of your wings for me!” Jane walked back up at him, standing on the tips of her toes to stare right up at him, poking him the chest. “You don’t want to fall, but you became a sinner the moment you had me naked and willing in your arms!” She yelled, her cheeks turning red out of frustration. “Remember what we said to each other that day on your couch…” Jane said calmly this time. “We said that we were worth it no matter the consequences. — I still believe that, but clearly you don’t.” 

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

“I know, and I don’t regret it! I think about that night all the time, Jane. But if I get caught and I’m not an angel I’m nothing!” There was so much pain and sincerity there. You could say in that year since Nick had been apart from her and more dedicated to his job he’d changed. His feelings for her had only gotten stronger but so was the need to be a warrior and put everything in him into the cause. “I have sinned.. Throughout this clean record, there is one sin and it is caring about and...loving you.” he said, he was talking so much and letting everything out he didn’t even realized what he’d just said. “I said that and I meant it. But the thing is I don’t know how to do it, okay?! Jane I don’t know I don’t have the answer.”

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

“A year ago, I would just say ‘fuck it’ and go through with it once again, but I’m not that naive little woman anymore, Nick. I can’t just hide in the shadows while you’re out there killing my friends and family. I can’t and I won’t. How much I lo..care about you. I will forever feel guilty…” Jane didn’t want it to come to this, but she couldn’t ignore it any longer. They just needed to fight a little more for what they wanted, only it seemed almost impossible to fight for. “I don’t want you to choose..”

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

“Then don’t. Don’t choose.” Nicholas said after several moments of silence. “You continue what you’re doing, and I’ll try to avoid killing your friends..your family.” he suggested. “But I know I can’t not do my job. This is what I’m here for I was chosen. I can’t quit it.. I don’t want to be one of the fallen. No matter how much I...care about you.”

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

“It’s not something that has happened…That’s not it.” Jane started. It has been on her mind for a while, it bothered the whole time even when they were together. “You know right, that one day you will have to decide which side your on. We’re enemies, I’m on the other side. Things are going to get ugly, they already are. – Sure the idea of spending my eternity in heaven with you sounds great and all, but I don’t want to die…Don’t you ever think about that?”

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

Nicholas never really thought that far. When they were dating it was something that he’d always pushed back. It was just too stressful to think about the future. He shrugged. “I guess I never tried to actively think about it. Mostly because I don’t know how we’d do it..” he replied honestly. “I don’t want you to die either, or have to change your mortality to be with me.” he rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know, Jane.”

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

Jane blinked, her lips tingling after he had kissed her. It was a small innocent kiss, but he always had a big impact on her, making her heart race every time he came walking into the room. She knew Fia was right, they went at it so fast, but she didn’t regret it, how fast it was, it always felt right…until. Jane took a step back, letting go of his hand. “You can just do the switch!” Jane whined, giving him a pout. She had given him a choice and now he was changing it around, but she knew her answer which was the same as his. “I can’t be just friends with you either. – But you need to know something Nick.” What she’s about to say is something he definitely wouldn’t like, but It had to be said.

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

That phrase made his stomach knot up. He could just feel that whatever she was about to tell him wasn’t going to be good. He tried to keep his expression neutral. “Alright...what is it?” he asked. This was the first time he saw her in forever and already something was going on. Same old, same old. He almost laughed at the thought.

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

Jane let out a sudden cry and a laugh combined, a tear crawling down her cheek. “I’m still sorry.” She said, removing the stupid tears on her cheeks with the sleeve of her shirt. Jane finally took a step closer, slowly reaching out to his hand, grabbing it between hers. “I…We can do whatever you want Nick. Friendship…anything.”

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

Nicholas looked into her eyes, a small smile on his face. No one had seen a genuine smile from him in a very long time. He held her hand, rubbing his thumb slowly against hers. It’d been so long since he’d had any contact, let alone physical contact. And it made him feel warm inside. He couldnt deny that feeling. “Last time I was on earth..after everything that happened, Fia told me we should’ve been friends first. But I...I don’t know if I could just be friends with you, Jane. Especially when every time I’m with you I’ll think about, well...”

“Doing that. But I will be, if that’s what you want. I’m leaving it up to you.”

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

Jane breath hitched, not sure how she should react to his answer. There had been a full on year between them, a lot has happened in that year. She lost herself into protecting her Network and surviving with her friends. It was something that made her forget about the things she did. “I miss you too, if you were wondering…” She said softly, biting her lip nervously. “Will you ever forgive me?” 

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

Nick couldn’t hide the small smile that appeared when she returned the sentiment, so again, he looked down to the floor. He didn’t know why, but that wasn’t what he was expecting to hear. His eyes remained there as he thought about what had happened.. Could he forgive her? Deep down, did he already? “I do..forgive you.” he replied. “I...care too much to continue to be angry about what you did.”

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

“I’m with Raphael and his friends now. This place is a danger zone. That’s why I’m never here anymore.” Jane couldn’t place why Nick would come to her home every single time, while didn’t want to see her anymore. She just didn’t get it. She looked down at the silver bracelet he gave her, locked nicely around her wrist. “That doesn’t answer my question, why would you come here for me or even consider coming to my home, while…” Jane sighed, brushing a lock of blond hair back behind her ear. “Just tell me why.”

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

Nicholas nodded slowly. She was right, it was dangerous and if she stayed there she would’ve been in a lot of trouble. As he was readying himself to answer her question, he realized how embarrassing and how contradicting it sounded. He told her he wanted space, so why continue to invade her space? “Because...because I find comfort here.” he said quietly. “Because as much as you hurt me I still miss you. And being here makes the missing you thing not so bad.” 

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

She did everything to keep her heart from beating so fast, just one look at him made her think of all the love and sadly enough all the pain between them. But the guilt that she thought was hidden well deep inside, came rushing back full force. Jane looked away, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “Why does everyone keep asking that, I used to live here. I I should ask you that, Nick. Why are you here?” Jane said, finding the strength to look right into his bright blue eyes.

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

Nicholas looked down at his feet briefly before looking back up at her. “I’m asking because I’m usually here, and you’re usually not.” he said, finding no reason to lie to her. Sometimes he found comfort in being somewhere familiar, somewhere where he had at least some good memories, without the pressure of work over taking him. 

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

Jane was about to sway the damn hammer all over the place, hopefully catching an angel or somebody else who was ready to kill her, but who saw was the last person she had expected to see. The man who was haunting her dreams and thoughts for the past few months. What was he doing? Was he killing innocents humans, did he thought of her as much she thought about him. Jane shook her head, she wasn’t that sad woman anymore and she became much more stronger and independent. “Nick…”

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

It’d been so long, he’d actually forgotten the funny feeling he got whenever he was in her presence. It was like all of their past rushed at him at once, amazing seeing how he’d tried to push it so far back. “Jane...What’re you doing here?”

[angelofmusicadriel-blog]

“Excuse me? Is someone in here?”

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

"Yes, actually." Nicholas turned, returning his sword to its sheathe. The angel in front of them was familiar, he wasn't threatened. A body was at his feet, he was just taking care of business as usual.

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

Jane took a deep breath, looking around the place that she used to call home. The flamingos and couches were still in tact, only getting dusty, because of the lack of attention. Jane couldn’t help, but wiggle her nose at the smell of rotten socks. When she heard a sudden movement, she went into survival mode and grabbed onto the sledge hammer tightly that she had brought with her to break the chain of the front door. “You better be a nice little mouse!  — Please be a nice little mouse…”

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

Nicholas had been in Janes place, taking a well needed day off from all his work and the killing and everything. He decided to go to Jane's. They fell off, lost contact and he hadn't seen her really till a bit after they'd agreed they needed space. He didn't really know what to do then, just decided that maybe getting involved hadn't been smart. And that if he did keep up even a friendship, he'd want more from her. And he didn't know if he could do that again. So he went away, left her alone, focused on his job. He would check in, sometimes. Coming just to observe the house, check if she was inside, if she was alive. But then one day he came and the house was empty, and she was definitely gone. But he kept coming back anyway. For some reason the place provided comfort. A bit of it at least. When he heard the chain off the front break, he stopped moving and just listened. Moments later he heard her voice. He didnt know what he should do. Go off, or see the woman he hadn't seen in a year. Slowly, he walked forward, out of the darkness. "Not a mouse."

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

Jane rubbed her eyes when he didn’t disappear, she knew that he was telling the truth. “I haven’t slept in five days, how tired do you think I am?” The better question was why was he even here? He was pretty clear days ago that he needed some time by himself, but deep down she was glad that he was here. “Why are you here?— You made it pretty clear last time, that you didn’t want to see.”

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

"I'm here because I was hoping to maybe knock some sense into you.. Seeing as you haven't slept in 5 days and you're going to run yourself into the ground." Nicholas replied, taking a few steps closer. It was weird, being around her now, face to face. It'd been a long time. " But yeah, you're right I needed time. Which I don't think is too much to ask.. You would've done the same." he told her. "I can leave though, I guess. If you want me to."

[keeprunningfia-blog]

"I’m Fia. Her—uh, best friend. Not sure if she got to talk about me when you…" She wrung her hands together, sizing him up. Fia couldn’t blame her friend for wanting to hump him. "You know, she’s really torn up about what she did. I’m not going to tell you to just forgive her like that, I know I wouldn’t, but she’s not a bad person."

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

"No, she's mentioned you a few times. You guys are really close. She says a lot of good things about you." Nicholas nodded, remembering. He took a deep breath in and let it out. "I don't think she's a bad person..I know she's not." he replied and then shrugged. "I don't know, it just hurt. It hurts." his voice faded slowly, getting quiter as the sentence continued on. "It'll just take a minute to really get over it, I guess."

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

Jane turned around at the sound of his voice. Her brain was really playing tricks with her now. The last person she expected in her living room was Nicholas and she really wasn’t ready for an actual meltdown. “You’re not real— You can go now.” Jane said, waving her hand around, hoping for it to disappear.

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

"I know you're tired, but are you that tired?" Nicholas asked, tilting his head to the side a bit. He'd been around, he knew she was beating herself up and then keeping herself busy. He wished that they werent in the situation they were in. "I'm real, Jane. Not a imaginary being your coffee filled mind made up."

[notjanefromtarzan-blog]

"Where is my coffee?" Jane’s yelling voice was so on point that day, looking through cabinets, under pillows for coffee pads and even beans, the coffee machine wasn’t there either. This day became her worst nightmare, her caffeine was replaced by tea bags and kettles.

[nicholasdavidus-blog]

"I took it." Nicholas said quietly, standing in the doorway like always. They might've been seperated, on a break, but he was still her guardian. He had to look out for her, he couldn't help it. "You're going to burn yourself out with all coffee and no sleep."