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@nightmaresindreamland
"Another great display of physical prowess, and another great prize is on the way this morning!
Congratualtions to Guy from @emptyzone for being the only competitor this year to defeat all of your former foes!
For your prize, an all expense-paid trip to the relaxation planet of Hawahoo awaits you!
Thank you very much for your participation in the fifth anniversary of the Spring Smash Seminar... see you next year!"
Those Cruel Smash Miis got a walloping from residents of the 'Smash Mansion', and a few others too. None of them are particularly too shaken up by it, or even really that damaged. They're sub-human anyways, so what should you care?
"It's the dawn of the final day. I see you all got your rest and are eager to hear your results. While you've collectively put a dent into the Cruel Smash Miis roster, only one of you is going to get today's prize.
And that someone is going to be Yoshi from @spookymulti! You'll be receiving a shroud of invisibility! Perfect for hiding from the same Cruel Smash Miis who are likely to seek you out, following the end of this competition. I'd say good luck, but with you knocking the lights out of 95 of them in one game of Hide and Seek, it's clear you don't need luck.
"To think it's been five whole years since this televised service began. It brings a tear to my eye to know some of you have attended all five.
I'm sure you all know what's up next.
It's your favorite event...
The boss rush!"
Over halfway done, and there's still more to do.
"Good morning, Smashers! Did you sleep well?" He clearly does not care when he asks, because he does not wait for an answer; "you're going to need that shut-eye for today's event.
Oh, but I get ahead of myself. I bet you're curious as to who won yesterday's event. It's none other than the King of Koopas, Bowser from @spookymulti! Almost a full five-hundred seconds of Dee-juggling prowess!
Today, you'll be going home with your very own Waddle Dee squadron! You've already been acquainted with a few; they're the same five you were keeping up in the air for eight minutes!"
A squadron of Waddle Dees is around twenty Waddle Dees. They reproduce like desperate rabbits and are just as hungry as a cancer. While this description is less than charitable, having this amount of Waddle Dees for free is a true blessing for someone as in dire need of minions like that a warlord.
"Now, for today, we've set up a great scene for you.
How about you explore the Smash mansion to find some Miis to fight?"
i forgot the leaderboard supposed to be posted here it is
Little to no ceremony for the end of day one... but day two of SSS continues to bring new challenges. There is always another challenge with this host, isn't there?
"You lot never fail to disappoint. What a fantastic showing of ability." He omits talking about any one in particular who might've not even gotten off the ground in yesterday's task. "The most breathtaking, of course, belonging to @thebananwithaplan's Announcer! Over 8000 metres! In fact, you went around 200 metres higher than the peak point on Shiverstar, once known by the name of 'Mount Everest'.
I think you'll find your prize rather fitting. We've arranged a guided tour of the alien mountain just for you! Try not to bound over all the sights as you trek through deep snow, and take in the beauty of nature."
This trip is of course, redeemable at any time... so probably take it after you've finished doing free labor for the megacorporation, `kay?
"Now, for today's event, we've got another extremely simple task for you to breeze through.
Use your juggling capablities to keep some Waddle Dees in the air for eight and a half minutes. We'll be adding more Waddle Dees every hundred seconds, for a total of five!"
The Waddle Dees nearby look absolutely thrilled to be comboed and kept mid-air by a bunch seasoned veterans.
SSS: 2025
It's been five years since the beginning of this televised sporting event. It persists even past the prime of its host. Nevertheless, there is demand, however minuscule; and that is cause for celebration.
"Woah, laying it on thick with the narration. I'm sure you all missed us as much as we missed your voluntary participation in our pay-per-view program.
We have some fabulous prizes for our five-year-anniversary ready for you to take home. Feel free to brush up on the rules this morning before you head right into the first challenge of the day.
I know you're just as eager as I am... and keeping with tradition, we're starting off with a simple task that you're sure to enjoy.
Why, it's as easy as taking your feet off the ground. We're testing your vertical recovery!"
"What a great show! Another great year... and another prize is ready for the winner of our last challenge of the year. It took four arm wrestles, but Simon from @rxnowned-vxmpire-hxnter came out on top!
You're due for an all-expense paid trip to Hawahoo! Congratulations, and thanks for tuning in to another Triple-S!"
That all-expense paid trip to a fantastical vacation planet's been a staple for the past five years... Maybe... I don't really remember honestly...
Either way, there's lots of applause from the Waddle Dee audience, a few of the Miis who're forced to be there, and probably from some of the less disgruntled contestants.
"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you hated eachother... What a gruesome race that was! No mercy when you're on the track, hm? Of course, we'll be prioritizing people who actually made it across the finish line, with the best time... and best 'killcount' last. But you should feel proud, knowing you eliminated your competition.
And no one did it better than 'a-car-a-second' Pizzano from @thetravelershub! Ninteen seconds to the finish line, and knocking out nine other racers? Just how did he do it?"
Was there any rules against like, the four or six versions of this guy who'd also entered? Were they siblings? Clones? Does it really matter?
"For your fantastic driving and ruthless attitude behind the wheel, we've got you your very own, all paid expense pass to an 'evil management course.' There, you'll learn how to use your lack of morality as fuel for all your future actions, and purchases from NME. Don't spend it all in one place, pal!"
Wow. Nice slip of paper, Pizzano. Mom's gonna be real proud of this one!
"It's time for our final trial, and the final stake.
Thank you for joining me, Smashers, for the fifth year of your much-anticipated Boss Rush!"
"What a great show of your athletic prowess, smashers! I could tell some of you were holding back, sending our little Dees flying... but don't worry, they have quite the life insurance policy."
"But let's get to the real deal; the prize! We've measured your tosses, counted all your ducks... Galacta Knight from @asterismas scored an amazing 1729 meters. For our friends using a Shiverstar-specific system, that's a mile worth of airtime! For that, we've got brand new car for you! Wheel it out, boys!"
The car was a fabulous, at least two horsepower engine car with a lot of headroom, a glorious amount of trunk space, and also it looked exactly like an apple. The Waddle Dees (some still with a bit of turf or dirt stuck ot their faces) had to push the thing off to its (clearly VERY EXCITED) winner.
"Just blushing pink with glee, aren't we? Well, feel free to test out that new car in today's challenge!
Fight your way to victory at the end of the race course! The one who's vicious enough to knock as many of your fellow racers out, and completes the track in the fastest time, will be getting another amazing prize!"
There's also some mansion Miis who'll be filling in the roster of drivers, just to have some butts in kart seats.
"What a fantastic first day... A three way tie, a tie between ties! In the end, Big D of @hal-in-the-family reigned supreme! You can always count on his Highness to get to eating and then give a beating.
Your efforts aren't in vain, we do have a fabulous prize just for you!"
A crowd of Waddle Dees with strange, indigo-wood boxes marched, depositing the King's spoils...
Boxes and boxes of more of those mutant marshmallows. Even someone watching at home in TV could tell, because of the suffocated squealing....... and the big brand logo on the side of each box that said 'Harshmallows™'.
"Since you liked them so much, we've got a whole month's supply just for you! Don't eat them all at once, Triple D."
There's some stock laughter coming from somewhere. Waddle Dees clapped their nubs, congratulating the winner.
"Ah, but the competition is still young. We still have plenty of trophies for you to take home.
Now, show us your throwing arm! Whoever can toss one of these little Waddle Pipsqueaks farthest will get today's fabulous prize!"
"A tie in the tie breaker, hmmm? Looks like Mario and Big D were perfectly matched.
Guess you'll have to go again."
"Seems like you're stomaching the first few hours of our lovely contest well. Feel free to check out how your competition is doing..."
Leaderboard is up.
"What a treat it is to be hosting the 5th anniversary of our seminar for you! Let's start off seasonal."
He produces a small bag of purple marshmallows, ripping open the plastic top, a miasma of strange gas pours from the opening, down the bag, and onto the stage below...
With a pair of metal tongs, he pulls one of the marshmallows out, holding it out so others may see it properly— and see how an eye rips open its sugary skin, and a tiny, fang-filled mouth splits underneath, squealing and screeching.
"Who's up for some Chubby Bunny? If you can fit a whole bag of Harshmallows™ in your mouth without spitting them out, you'll take home today's prize."
Soon Spring Springs
"Didn't think you'd be so eager for a return to old traditions... but here at NME, we're happy to indulge any sort of fascination with our products."
The Spring Smash Seminar starts soon... Ready for its 5th anniversary?
“That brings us to an end of our festivities for this year. We did have a tie between Fern and Misaki, but after a arm wrestle, Misaki from @feralocsnkids took home the win!
Of course, you’ll be taking a ticket to an all expenses-paid trip to Planet Hawahoo!
We hope you’ve all enjoyed this year’s seminar. Feel free to purchase some of our merchandise on the way out!”
"This is what I deal with. This is what I deal with on a constant basis, and you're all shaking. Why do you-a think I'm like this."
“What a great show you’ve all put on. Feel free to keep your coins, contestants. You’ve certainly earned them,” all of them are magically-created and not ‘real’ gold anyways, “but the winner deserves an extra prize!
For Gold Bone from @thetravelershub, we’ve got you your very own space-pirate treasure map! Surf across the stars in your very own NME-sponsored Hocotatian cruiser as you quest for untold galactic riches! They say the journey is more valuable than the destination, but the planet made of gold and diamonds might be worth even more... If you dare to find it.”
What an exotic treasure for the guy who’d never even stepped foot off his planet.
“That brings an end to all our new events for this year. We hope you’ve enjoyed the running, running, and more running around,” CS seems humored by the lack of creativity. “You all know what’s coming next.
Fourth ‘seminar’ and fourth time running, it’s the Boss Rush! Good luck!”
