Sometimes , I just want to comfort Lord, soothe the wounds my sins caused him, to touch his wounds and cry holding the feet pierced by nails and ask forgiveness for the pain I caused him.

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Sometimes , I just want to comfort Lord, soothe the wounds my sins caused him, to touch his wounds and cry holding the feet pierced by nails and ask forgiveness for the pain I caused him.
Everytime I see myself broken , I see a picture of my Lord Jesus mending a broken vase.
The vase is being fixed, with its cracks visible, mended by gold.
Each piece of us broken is being fixed by God. Let his grace and Love for lead us to an irreplaceable peace and fill us with his love.
Amen
Don't we all carry a stigmata in our hearts, wounded by people and situations around us, but at the end of the day, this wound is what brings us closer to Lord Jesus Christ.
It took time for me to realise that I was getting isolated and felt lonliness so much, that even though I was with a crowd of people, I felt so out of place, so alone.. Started praying out of desperation of being so lonely,
I remember asking God , why this is happening to me- crying while reciting psalm 6 and 31. There are times I have asked him If he just collects tears and stores them. In spite of all these , he made sure that I know that he is the only one for me.
If any one of you struggles with feeling unloved,
Just know that Lord never leaves you nor forsakes you, even though people would.
How did I find God, or rather
How did God find me?
All I realize was his is presence is like a light in a room not illuminated by light, but making sure I am made known his presence.
The smaller things that make me aware that he is present in the tiniest of details that most of us overlook
His presence made known to me when I am overflowing with sadness, just through words, in ways I cannot comprehend .
And , through
His word.
For he is the word. And the word is with him.
John 1:1 NRSV
[1] In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
A long but short vague paragraph:
How did I go back to my Lord,
It took me 10 + years, fell back from grace, into -his gracious hand.If there is someone asking me how are you so sure, about it being the Lord with you, I have my answer-
A profoundable peace,
-No human being has ever given me that kind of peace.Even though I sought peace along wrong places, my Lord Jesus never left me. When I fell into the pit, he was with me .
When I was too tired to get out of the pit, he pulled me up, and led me to the right way
When I slipped down due to exhaustion, he held me carefully- like a fragile thing.
And now, I'm holding onto the hem of his robe, while he is holding my hand - like a lost child searching for a way back home.
And he is my Home, my Home was never on earth.
Maybe I am vague with words, I have found my way- that is through his way and word.
What do I think of loneliness?
Knowing I'd be alone and so sure about it, because it's always the same as usual. Not expecting too much from people because they are a fucking disappointment, because changing lanes are easier for them than turning back to you
All of the work, that i did wholeheartedly would be listening to others talk wherein I never had anyone to talk to
If you ask me, "how lonely are you?"
I'd answer " an empty funeral "
Dreams are like the stars.
They shine so bright;
Like an exquisite piece of work
The moment I am closer,
To this shining star,
They feel so far, my presence feels unworthy.
Of receiving this gift.
Uncomfortably numb, do I feel.
My mind's like a stream now, with the illusion of this star.
Falling one by one, into this stream
Creating ripples wherever they plunge to
And drown within the
Deepest crevices of my mind
♡
I guess it's too dangerous to be self-aware, the world around just feels too unfair .It's becoming unbearable
And they do dream of the beautiful skies and clouds
Whilst the strings of their heart are breaking
One by one;
It ain't a heartbreak on love,
As it looks so to the folks they adore
The fear of the unknown expanse of the universe,
The universe hidden inside their heart, controlled by
The overwhelming possibilities of an untold tale
Written ahead of time, or the so called 'fate', is what
Trims down the strings
One by one.
I guess it's heartbreaking to know that there's no one close to you when there are no calls or texts at 12 am on your birthday.
Something just like this
When I look into your eyes
There's nothing there to see
Nothing but my own mistakes
Staring back at me
- P5hng Me A*wy, LINKIN PARK
Every time I see tissues
I remember blood getting wiped of from my wrists,
It did sting, yet the pain of getting hurt again and again subdued for a while..