Out Of Context Night Vale

Now accepting asks from fellow listeners!

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He's a ghost to me now or, maybe, since he's going to be around long after I'm gone, I'm the one who is a ghost to him.

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In astronomical news, in response to large-scale protests against the shorter, darker days this winter, and extra hour of daylight will now be scheduled between 2 and 3am every night until spring.

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Stay tuned for silence. Two solid weeks of silence followed by, improbably, noise.

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Wash your heart in warm water. Pat dry with a paper towel and roll flat on a floured surface. Brown on both sides in a saute pan and eat immediately. Remember: a healthy heart is a healthy life.

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You cannot bring old refrigerators.

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How big is the universe?

You think there's such a thing as a universe in the first place? That was your first mistake, interloper.

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How do you get out of a time loop? I've been living April 1st for 54 days now. Any tips to escape? Also, this is unfortunately not the first time I ask you this.

You don't escape. You never escape. It was meant to be.

Don't seek escape.

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"I hate the moon"

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Bro that well party last night was fuckin crazy

We don't talk about the party. Do not speak about the party again.

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Thursday afternoon, there is a free ice cream social for all members of the Illuminati.

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There are cages and carriers full of sweet kitties all over the station, representing all four breeds of cat: Long-haired, Short-haired, Smooshy-faced, and Miscellaneous.

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That’s it for our sponsored show. Remember:

Today has been brought to you by Kellogg’s. And Kellogg’s can take today away.

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As Bill Russell once said: “Never look into a Box of Infinite Despair.” And he was right.

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The Highway Department is recommending that everyone stay off the roads unless absolutely necessary, and if you do have to drive anywhere, keep those eyes closed.

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Why is the thing hiding?

You don't want to know why.

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what is real?

Why do you want to know?

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Proverb: Soccer is also commonly known as football, Canadian baseball, American football, violent jogging, and World War Two.

— July 15th, 2014 - Capital Campaign