Night Vale Tweets Archive

An archive of @NightValeRadio's original tweets minus promo content. IN BLOG Search format: monthdateyear. Example: 08062012. No icymi reblogs, no personal posts, no asks, only archive. For questions, see main blog: @thirty-five-owls

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 11, 2012

The mysterious glowing rings bulging through your ceiling are just as afraid of you as you are of them.

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 11, 2012

The best thing about the sky is that anything - at any moment - can just fall from it. The worst: cloud-aches.

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 11, 2012

Traffic report: An ancient tome is blocking all eastbound traffic. It is rumbling and stirring up lots of birds' support. Expect delays.

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 11, 2012

Ford. Our cars are built strong. Our cars are built out of bones. Weird metal bones that were buried in a meteor. Ford: Drive Weird Bones.

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 11, 2012

Tremble. Tremble before your fate. (Because after your fate you won't be able to tremble.)

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 11, 2012

If dreams are outlawed, only outlaws will have dreams!

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 11, 2012

LOST: DEER. It has tennis ball eyes, elongated bones, and partially exposed viscera. Answers to the name of "Jean." REWARD: Flight.

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 11, 2012

You've gone missing.

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 10, 2012

A cup of hot orangemilk before bed will bring you spider-free dreams. #lifehacks

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 10, 2012

Tourniquet. Thats what you forgot to get. A tourniquet. At least you remembered the ice cream, balloons, and napkins.

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 10, 2012

Check out tonight's sunset. CAUTION: Take the pill from the jar w the light yellow label first! (NOT the canary yellow label. V IMPORTANT)

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 10, 2012

Nobody knows where the tower came from, or what it's made of (obsidian?), or why. But we all agree that its song is beautiful.

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 10, 2012

"The mayor is translucent. The mayor is warm. The mayor is you and you and you..." - the mayor, speaking this morning at the Lion's Club

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 10, 2012

but the good news is that you *will* be missed.

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 9, 2012

Hopefully you don't have that dream where everyone has an ant face and all your maps are labeled wrong. (It's been going around.)

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 9, 2012

This is the mens bathroom. This is the womens. And this is the door marked with the image of an exploding star that no one has ever opened.

[nightvaletweetsarchive]

Oct 9, 2012

The bears have taught themselves math.