No longer human

Only exist online ||| 25 he/him

[nihilism-0]

I think it's time to introduce myself.

Welcome to my soul (blog) I am a depressive, 25-year-old European boy.

I prefer anonymity ( call me Nihil)

In fact the name of "Nihilism"; absence of the importance and meaning of living is from my own experience.

I am passionate about masks (masked men and masked kink here), from the most common to the most questionable I love to intimidate just with my presence.

I am a stalker, if you have had a minimal interaction you have probably already been cybernetically disemboweled by me

I love Tumblr, I see people just as sick or sicker than me, without pretending to be something they are not and then pretending in their daily lives that they are normal and common, it is very interesting and I enjoy it.

My sexuality? I'm fine with both. I just DO NOT ACCEPT MINORS. I am versatile, mostly dominant.

Normally I don't have a problem with you writing privately, but I prefer that you don't, I am rarely interested in continuing a conversation.

I love making mutuals and asks

Into;necro(my fav)violence/snuff,cnc/rape,canibalism,selfharm,sonmophilia,asphyxia,praise+degradationsadic,masochistic, knife play, impact play, autassassinophilia, erotophonophilia, double suicide and questionable romantic shit.

I don't have many limits, increase my interests in the inbox <33

For moral reasons all this is a lie, or not, who knows, welcome~

[nihilism-0]

I've been a bit inactive lately; I'm staying at my best friend's for a while and, yes, making some future plans.

I'll tell you more about it later.

[nihilism-0]

doesn't your tongue piercing bother you a bit sometimes?

Yes, sometimes I do, and I end up taking it out for a while; I can even go a whole day without it since it's a very old piercing.

[nihilism-0]

Very curious on if you know who your anon askers are, do you have a feeling on who they are or do you truly not know?

just suspicions, I can't confirm it.

[nihilism-0]

Please show a picture of your tongue piercing, that’s kinda hot

Old but gold.

[gimpvomit]

Kicked&Trampled

[nihilism-0]

The idea that you have experienced so many selfish forms of love makes me feel so sad, the concept of loving someone and expecting something back has always felt strange to me. But then again, I understand what you mean.

I just truly hope you experience many forms of selfless love as time goes on, especially from people who don't need anything from you. Then again, I suppose loving in general is selfish in some way(?)

It is, and if you don't "want" anything from the other person, you'll probably be accused of not loving them enough.

[vamberii]

don't be afraid

[oldwinesoul]

[anatheyma]

top 3 of my favorite sleepwalking moments that had my family/friends believing they were in the conjuring:

1. (as a kid) suddenly running across the house to go scream at my own reflection in the mirror

2. sharing a cabin with my brother who reported i had started crawling on the floor on all fours(?)

3. at a hotel in stockholm (i had a high fever) my friend questioned why i had started flicking the lights on and off while they were trying to sleep

[nihilism-0]

I had no one to talk to about this; I also suffered from sleepwalking as a child lool

obviously not such terrifying experiences ahem.

1) I would stand at my mother's bedroom door staring at her in the dark because at that moment I was OBSESSED with sleeping with her.

2) I went downstairs to the second floor where my aunt lives and rang the doorbell asking if my cousin could come out to play.

3)I stayed on the stairs turning the light and for a moment my family thought someone had entered the house

(They were armed with a broomstick)

[nihilism-0]

well, if people were any smarter, they would see past their own ulterior motives and needs, and realise that you're a lovely guy. too bad we're in a literacy crisis i guess BUT THAT IS THEIR FAULT OKAY😠 it's quite odd how none of us can see the goodness within ourselves but are so quick to point out the same stuff in other people!

im somewhat the same in the sense i cant see anyone being friends with me or talking to me without having something in mind, even my family. i see my elder sibling talk to me all nice and buy me expensive stuff and think, "im just a retirement plan to you, aren't i?"

but then again, i feel like there's people who would genuinely reach out to you out of pure love and maybe that's what being human is like(?) i know i would never try to be friends with someone only for my own gain so there's probably people like me out there i guess🤔🤔🤔

okay also i JUST realised like 20 smth mins ago that i have a couple of exams left this week and next month, and then I'm thinking i could join some old classmates for conferences and other things to build up my portfolio for college and thennnn ill start learning spanish and french!! spanish OBVIOUSLY because of youuu and french becauseee i have an amazing friend currently in france and i really wanna learn their languageee

-🌑(why do exams take so long...kms)

When you say "love"... people have tried to get close to me out of "love," but not a good kind of love. At least not a real, selfless kind.

When they realize that I don't feel/won't feel the same way, they get upset, once again, makes me understand that they're doing it for themselves; they like my attention, what I can offer them, whether it's something material or even sexual acts.

Sometimes they've tried to give me things not because they want to, but to get something from me, and it's like: "Ah... so you're not doing it willingly, but because it's in your best interest to get something in return."

When I stay at my best friend's house, they don't mind me being there because I keep the whole house clean, I cook... they all want to see their interest.

And well, I know we all want what's best for ourselves, but I wish people weren't so self-serving. Do things for yourself and don't look to others for anything, because no one is responsible for giving it back to you.

Obviously, if we're talking about true, pure love, I'm sure there are people capable of loving like that without any ulterior motives, simply showing what they feel and giving what they have to offer.

[nihilism-0]

it’s okay if you don’t post this one (obviously) — it’s just something i want you to know.

it seems i only really come to you here for “unholy” thoughts, but i had a dream of you a few weeks ago. just talking. we talked about our journeys and a song from your childhood? it was some kind of bird song? i wish i remebered more detail. i woke up feeling sad and like i had known you for a long time, as if that conversation was one of many.

i pondered back and forth for awhile, trying to decide if i wanted to even share about it. i do. because i see you as the person you are (or what you let us see, at least), not just something to “latch” onto for my pervertedness. i truly find you fascinating and i don’t think you give yourself enough credit, precious nihil.

-𓋹

I don't have a childhood song, but I do have a fable that stirred deep emotions in me from a young age, and I'd love to get a tattoo related to it someday. It's called "The Little Match Girl," and the version I saw was specifically about puppets, which made it feel even more nostalgic and sad.

It tells the tragic story of a poor girl who, on New Year's Eve, tries to sell matches on the street barefoot and hungry to avoid punishment from her father.

She can't sell anything and starts to freeze, lighting her matches to keep warm.

With each flame, she experiences beautiful hallucinations brought on by the cold: a warm stove, a table laden with food, and a Christmas tree.

When she strikes the last match, sees her deceased grandmother, the only person who ever treated her with love.

To maintain the vision, she lights the remaining matches and, alongside her grandmother, ascends to heaven in a radiant glow, free from hunger and cold.

The next morning, she was found frozen to death in the street, with a smile on her face and a completely empty box of matches.

My tattoo idea is a matchstick.

https://youtu.be/sppsBBWuPYs?is=7AJ0tuFTy1Co2szh

[softdomsworld]

I love scent freaks. steal my used shirt, bury your face in the crook of my neck and breathe deeply when you hug me, wear my clothes when you get off because it feels much better with my scent all over you.

[cybermanes]

When people call you chill but in reality you’re just disconnected from everything around you

[mysteriousstalker]

r/pe her and she’ll get so desperate and use her native language to say “stop” and “no, please, no more”. only for me to humiliate her and coos her about how i can’t understand it and think it as if she want more instead.

[nihilism-0]

For scientific reasons...which character was your favorite in Happy Three Friends?

[nihilism-0]

When you have a sick mind but not a sick body so it doesn't even matter.