āYeah?ā Jules asked softly, smiling at the confession because she adored calling him that. For the entirety of their friendship, Jules had never known what she had done to deserve Nemo to become one of her best friends. For him caring heart, good soul and unrelenting support, he truly was a treasure. He would always be her Tesoro and she tried to make him see it in the reflection of her eyes when he finally let them meet. It felt like a sacred moment between them then, something shifting and Julia wasnāt quite sure. There was something hidden in the familiar depths of Nehemiah but she didnāt push - he had already let her in far more than he had in before. It was enough.Ā
āNo, no, no,ā She said soothingly, shaking her head and squeezing his hand.Ā āNo one could have stopped this, Tesoro. No one. Besides, if anyone is to blame for Jade, itās me.ā The confession caused her voice to waver. It still ate at her soul.Ā āI cancelled plans with her that night - I should have been with her. We should have been at the club and she shouldnāt have been at the park. Donāt blame, yourself. Please.ā She pleaded, because none of this was on his shoulders and it never should have been. She could almost feelĀ Jade trying to say the same from the grave.Ā
Her eyes found his once more and she smiled softly despite the way her own had started to water too.Ā Ā āBecause Iām your person - just like your mine.ā It was the god honest truth - Nemo was the one she ran to for everything, now more than ever. He knew her better than anyone and sheād like to think she knew him like that too. She chuckled with him too, the sound soft and strained through their swirling emotions of grief and pain but it only cemented the statement.Ā
Jules expression remained soft as they looked at each other, finding comfort in the moment and she knew Jade would be happy they were leaning on each other in her absence. Maybe she had been staring to intently or lost in her own through about Nemo that she missed how her heart faltered when he leaned in. The shock of the kiss rang through her as Nemo kissed her but it didnāt stop her from responding for the few short seconds it lasted. When he pulled back, the panic was there immediately but Julia tried to understand. Her mind a mess but in the end, it reminded her that Nemo was hurting. There was no way Nemo could ever see her as more so, he had needed the comfort. Julia was far too broken and messy for him to ever want her as more; she knew that. It wasnāt the first time someone had sought her for comfort in this way and she understood it. Nemo had been caught up in the moment of grieving their friend who had been buried only a few days ago. Her hand came up to cup his cheek and she shook her head at him before leaning forward to place another soft kiss to his lips as a method to try and comfort him.Ā āYouāre okay, itās okay.ā She assured him once she had pulled back. She combed his hair back in affection, not holding this moment against him even if it caused a bit of an ache in her heart. She didnāt think Nemo would be one to seek comfort from her in that way but she understood it. Itās the reputation she had given herself. āWeāre okay, donāt apologize, Tesoro. It was in the moment, itās okay.ā But she would be damned if a kiss came between them. She loved Nemo too much to loose him over that.Ā
Julia could try all she wanted to convince him that Jadeās death was on her instead, but it was the one trouble she couldnāt chase away with soft words. Nehemiah carried guilt and the dead on his shoulders like Atlas carried the stars, both forever doomed to fight not to crumble under its heavy weight. No matter who tried to tell him that none of that was his responsibility, the chill down his spine every time he passed a cemetery and the spirits that haunted his dreams reminded him that it was. What kind of man could he ever hope to be if he couldnāt even protect the ones he loved? Who was to say that the next to die wouldnāt be a member of his own family? If he couldnāt save a friend then there was no way he could protect them. He was useless. āItās too late for that. I couldnāt convince myself otherwise even if I tried.ā Nehemiah bitterly admitted, angry that he had learned nothing in the years since Lucrecia had died. Music had been where he poured all his negative emotions but some nights it felt like nothing would ever free him from his guilt.
Her person. He liked the sound of that. It was an honor Nehemiah never expected to be given to him by someone, but it warmed his heart to know that Julia thought of him so highly. Not only that, she considered herself his person too in a way that never crossed his mind before. Being there for your friends was just what he did, not expecting something as special as being someoneās person in return. Either way, he would cherish it even if he knew it was the only other deep emotion they would share. āYeah, youāre my person too.ā He nodded in agreement, smiling softly at her. It may not seem like it since he usually kept his true problems bottled up to avoid burdening his friends with his issues, Nehemiah knew Julia was someone who he could open up to if he just allowed himself to. He hoped one day he would finally be able to allow her to see the other parts of him that he didnāt share with anyone but his family.
The rapid thumping of his heart and the sound of blood rushing in his ears were all Nehemiah could hear now. He couldnāt believe he had kissed her. Years spent keeping those feelings hidden were now gone within an instant and there was nothing he could do about it. There were no takebacks, no rewinds, and no do-overs. He would have no choice but to come clean about his feelings for Julia, but he didnāt want to. All he wanted to do was run. Even if he knew he wouldnāt get very far with Hidehill being so small, it was the only thing he could think of at the moment to avoid having a conversation he wasnāt ready for. He couldnāt do this. Not now, not after all that was currently happening to him. He couldnāt handle the thought of losing another friend due to his own actions, but Julia pulling him in for another soft kiss was enough to swap the panic for pain instead momentarily. All Nehemiah wanted to do was crumble under her lips. He wanted to bear his soul to her now that she had promised him their friendship wasnāt over, but he didnāt. Juliaās words made it clear this wasnāt a confession to her, it was only pain.
āNo, Iām- I swear I wasnāt trying to take advantage of you. I-I wouldĀ neverĀ do that to you, Jules. Iām not that kind of guy, I promise. I just-ā He tried to say but found himself unable to explain himself any further. āI canāt do this! I canāt do this!ā Nehemiah whispered as he shook his head, panic setting in again. āIām-Iām sorry I canāt. I-I have to go.ā With one more glance at Julia, he removed himself from the grass and scurried off in the opposite direction without looking back.
