nik butt @nikbutt - Tumblr Blog

im b

im back on tumblr did yall hear about the big rock the size of a small rock thing lol that was crazy

for a second I thought this was a meme & not an informative illustration of horse mood, & I thought I just couldn’t get the joke

glamourweaver

Make this the new meme!

catboy-jim

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sonic-gems-collection

War, Famine, Pestilence, Death, Umami

occasionallyomniscient

eelpatrickharris-deactivated202

anyone else have one of those Formative Omegle Experiences that’s stuck with you

eelpatrickharris-deactivated202

i remember once matching up with this 27 year old mechanic. he found the omegle page open on one the shop’s computers, and he wanted to see what his coworker was up to. we matched up because of our listed “manga” interests.

he asked how old i was, and i lied and said i was 16. as a conversation starter, he asked if i had my license yet, and because i was 12, i said no.

so he starts giving me driving tips. get a junker as your first, because when you finally get a new car, you’ll be able to appreciate it.

stick shift is going out of fashion, and even if you learn how to drive that way and enjoy it, get an automatic. it’ll save your ass on nasty hills and in rush hour traffic.

and most importantly, never hold your hands at 10 and 2. go with 9 and 3. he’d always loved cars, and used to race when he was younger. became pretty well known in the indie circles. one day, he was speeding around the track and just came out of the curve when a girl in the crowd flashed her tits at him.

he was so distracted that he crashed straight into the barrier. due to how he was holding the wheel, he broke both of his arms. he still has a couple lingering issues.

i asked him if it was worth it, and he said yes. he’d do it again if he had the chance. they were the finest tiddies he’d ever seen.

the moral of this story is that, to this day, i grip 9 and 3 when using both hands because wait that’s what tiddy guy said i should do.

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Me

the-pundertaker-deactivated2020

shitpostbot5k

snoopingasusualisee

kaedien

americans think ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN of driving 7 hours. they’ll drive 7 hours just for dinner. they’ll drive 7 hours just for chips and dip

oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019

where’s the pic of that guy’s tinder bio where he says something along the lines of “well i’m a fat fuck with a big truck. welcome to the shitshow.”

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oncelerfucker69-deactivated2019

thanks. this is literally the best tinder bio ever

kazucrash-deactivated20191209

What if Zelda had an amazing, cinematic story?

What if Last of Us had incredible, skill based combat?

What if Uncharted somehow put all the violence in context?

What if Dark Souls was approachable and clear?

The answer to all of these questions and more is

radracer

Toyota Soarer z10 Juggler Girl

compulsive

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pancakeke

mutttooth

I was tumblr famous a long time ago. The validation of getting lots of notes is nice but overall it just fucking sucks.

tumblr user pizza reaches out from the nether to warn me of hubris

whitepeopletwitter

I think I see it

dankmemesreasonforliving

theholleywoodsigns

Explains why I’m so fucking stupid

wolfwars

no, not like ‘stupid’ brain damage. your emotions become so stressful your brain starts getting a little numb to them. you start experiencing higher rates of apathy. you can also have further trouble with memory and problem-solving.

muffintop-malachite-deactivated

That Explains Why I’m So Fucking Stupid

snackwizard

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore

never make a suicide joke again. yes this includes “i wanna die” as a figure of speech. swear off of it. actually make an effort to change how you think about things.

find something to compliment someone for at least 4 times a day. notice the little things about the world that make you happy, and use that to make other people happy.

talk to people. initiate conversation as often as you possibly can. keep your mind busy and you wont have to worry anymore

picture the bad intrusive thoughts in youe head as an edgy 13 year old and tell them to go be emo somewhere else

if someone makes you feel bad most of the time, stop talking to them. making yourself hang out with people who drain you is self harm. stop it.

wildlyannoyingdoofus

… 8|

That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

snackwizard

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

808lien

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

maramahan

Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking