Rebuilding - Chapter 2
Chapter two! It’s a bit of a slow burn to start with, but I’m really trying to get all of my thoughts and plans for this story put together, so I’m taking a little time to establish things. I have a lot of the major events that take place later on mapped out in my head, but now it’s just a matter of getting there. I have about seven chapters rough drafted so far, so I’ll be steadily working on editing and revising those to get them out sooner rather than later.
Yuuri wasn't sure if he was going to faint or throw up or both. He could feel his heart rate increasing and his breath quicken as the tell-tale signs of an anxiety attack began to make themselves known. Victor was right here, in his town, in the store he worked at, standing(well, not technically) right in front of him. Why was he here, of all places? And why now? Had some god above somehow heard his silent prayer to have one more chance to speak to Victor? And why was he in a wheelchair? That was the part that honestly scared him the most. Was he injured? Was it temporary? Oh god what if it was permanent? What about his skating career? Skating was his life. Would he ever be able to return to the rink? And why was he so worried about Victor anyway, after everything that had happened - everything that he had put Yuuri through?
Yuuri was practically hyperventilating at this point; he felt like he wasn't getting enough oxygen and his breaths came out in harsh wheezes. His fingers were cold, clammy, and starting to tingle as if they had fallen asleep. Victor was right there though, already working through the motions to help calm him down. After all this time, he could still recognize one of Yuuri's signature panic attacks. No matter how forgetful Victor was in his everyday life, the one thing he never forgot was Yuuri. He had to admit that he was surprised at Yuuri's reaction to seeing him. He had expected to be on the receiving end of anger, or sadness, not a panic attack. Victor really could only come to one conclusion: Yuuri didn't know. Yuuri didn't know about Victor's accident. Victor may act like a goofball at times, but he was intensely perceptive.
"Yuuri," he said softly, “is touch okay?” he questioned, keeping his bright blue eyes trained on his ex fiance’s, watching for any signs of discomfort as he reached forward, simply moving closer but not making contact just yet. Yuuri gave him a quick nod to confirm and Victor obliged, taking the other male's hand in his own and rubbing gentle circles onto the back of his hand with his thumb. He was trying to remain comforting without getting all up in Yuuri's space. Sometimes the other male didn't approve of having someone smother him when he was panicking, and with how things were betweeen the two of them right now, he wanted to make even more sure that he wasn't all up in Yuuri's business. "It’s okay, I promise. You’re going to be okay.” His voice was soft and gentle, like ripples lapping against a shoreline. “Deep breaths. With me now. In for four counts, hold for seven, out for eight. You can do this," he encouraged, taking a breath alongside Yuuri, and using his free hand to count out the beats before exhaling. Yuuri seemed to calm down after a few rounds of this, and slowly sank to the floor in exhaustion and embarrassment from having suffered a panic attack in the middle of the store.
"Better?" Victor asked once Yuuri's breathing evened out as he leaned against the shelving, his eyes fluttering shut as the post-panic exhaustion hit him. "You can sit in my lap if the floor isn't too comfortable," he chuckled with a wink. He was both half-serious and half-joking. He had missed contact with Yuuri. He wouldn't deny that.
Yuuri cracked one eye open at that comment and let out a huff. "I'm fine," he muttered. The panic was slowly being replaced by a mixture of frustration and pure discomfort. He felt like an idiot, especially for putting this sort of burden on Victor like this. Victor shouldn’t be responsible for handling his emotions. Not anymore. "Sorry. I didn't mean to cause so much trouble." He was still shaking a bit as he finally got back to his feet. "I need to get back to work," he said, gesturing to the box on the ground.
Victor's expression fell, but he nodded in understanding. "I understand, Yuuri. I'm sorry for upsetting you." What else was he supposed to say? Work was important after all. They weren't together, and on top of it all, he had royally freaked Yuuri out. Yuuri had no reason to give him the time of day.
Yuuri was silent and Victor wondered if the box on the ground was really that interesting from the way that it suddenly seemed to grab all of the black-haired male's attention. Victor's gloved hands found the rim of his wheels and he began to turn away. "It really was good to see you again, Yuuri," he said over his shoulder before he turned to continue on.
"Wait!"
Victor didn't get very far before that familiar voice had him spinning around.
"Wait... Victor..." Yuuri seemed to be having quite the hard time standng still. He seemed to be shaking slightly and he was picking at the skin on his fingertips. "Are you.... I mean.... do you have any free time tonight? Can we talk?" There. He said it. He wasn't going to let this opportunity pass by.
Victor paused for a moment. He had to be at the rink this evening; there was no escaping that responsibility. If he tried to get out of that, he knew with absolute certainty that a certain angry Russian child would never let him hear the end of it, especially if his reason had anything to do with Yuuri. Unfortunately Yurio had grown less and less fond of Yuuri as the time had gone on. Yurio aside, the last thing Victor wanted to do was let those kids down. They were looking forward to this evening as much as he and Yurio were. "I have somewhere to be tonight. Do you have a lunch break this afternoon? I can meet you then. Or possibly tomorrow evening. I'm sorry I don't have more free time tonight." Yuuri couldn’t help but take notice of Victor’s speech patterns. He was much more... reserved than he had been in the past. It was slightly shocking to see the usually exhuberant Victor Nikiforov so... so quiet. Yuuri didn’t know why, but it unnerved him to the core.
"I can take the rest of the day off.... tell them I'm sick or something...." Yuuri trailed off, once again focusing on the box on the ground.
'Well you certainly wouldn't have a hard time convincing them,' Victor thought to himself. Yuuri was still as pale as the snow that fell outside and a thin sheen of sweat coated the skin of his face and neck. He looked sick. "If that wouldn't be a problem with your employers, that's fine," the Russian replied.
Yuuri nodded. They wouldn’t care. He had an incredible attendance record. Leaving early just this once due to feeling unwell wouldn’t arouse any suspicion. "It's fine. I'll let them know. Meet you outside?"
Victor smiled. Yuuri was actually willing to speak with him. To say that didn’t make him feel lighter would be a lie. "Of course. See you in a moment." That smile was still plastered on his face as he gave a small nod of the head and turned, wheeling off to finish his shopping.
Yuuri was easily able to convince his boss to let him have the day off, especially since Yuuri was one of their less problematic employees. Even so, Yuuri was sure that panic attack also worked in his favor; it at least made him look like he was too sick to work, and if he was honest it made him feel too sick to work too. Panic attacks really took a lot out of a person. He ditched the apron and shrugged on his coat, then grabbed his backpack and made for the door like his life depended on it.
The cold air hit him like a slap in the face, and for a moment Yuuri felt horrible for asking Victor to meet him outside. Looking at Victor though, he didn't seem to mind. Instead he waited, a bag of food product purchases in his lap and his cell phone in his hands. He was currently buried in his phone, playing a game and grinning excitedly every time his score broke his previous record.
"Hey," Yuuri called, walking over to where the other male sat.
"Yuuri! Have you ever played this game!? You have to chop up all the fruit, but miss three times and you lose! It's so horribly addicting," he exclaimed, beyond excited over the game he held in his hands. Yuuri's lips twitched upward into the first genuine smile he had since running into Victor. The other male's fascination with such simple things always warmed his heart. He supposed that Victor was just trying to break the ice right now, but he would be lying if he said it wasn't working.
"Yeah, it's pretty cool," he smiled, finally relaxing enough to take a good long look at his ex. Victor was still as sharply-dressed as ever, wearing a pair of black pants with shiny black shoes on his feet, a white button up shirt with a light gray vest and a black jacket, and a slightly darker gray scarf and black gloves to top it all off. He always looked so incredibly put together. Yuuri didn’t know how he did it. Fashion was never Yuuri’s thing(the only exception being the times Victor had planned his outfits) and he was always impressed by Victor’s ability to throw an outfit together with what seemed to be little to no effort.
Victor grinned, finishing up a level and then closing the app and storing his phone in a small backpack that hung on the back of his chair. "Yeah," he breathed, turning to face Yuuri(and snapping him out of his thoughts in the process), those bright blue eyes meeting deep brown once again. "So, you wanted to talk? I need to drop this stuff off at the hotel but we can grab something to eat afterwards, or just talk at the hotel if you'd prefer to avoid the general public."
Hotel. So Victor was only in town for a short period of time then. What were the chances? On one hand, going up to Victor's hotel room seemed a little strange, simply because his mind was suddenly filled with memories of all their travels together as a couple. On the other hand, he really didn't want to lose it in public again. This was the calm before the storm, or at least that's how it felt to him. "Yeah, let's just talk there." It would probably be easier on the both of them, after all. "Lead the way," he said, gesturing to the sidewalk. Yuuri had walked to work so he had assumed that Victor had done the same.
Victor simply laughed and shook his head. "Now I'm not about to make either of us walk in the cold,” he replied with a dramatic flair that was quite reminiscent of the past. He dug through the front pocket of his backpack and pulled out a set of keys with a grin. "I rented a car," he exclaimed, his excitable and energetic personality that Yuuri had so fondly remembered peeking through clouds of hesitation. The Victor he remembered was certainly still there, and Yuuri almost wished he could see more of it. Yuuri snapped back to reality and focused his attention on the keys in Victor’s hands. So Victor rented a car, huh? Yuuri partially wondered how Victor was supposed to drive a car. Cars had pedals, didn't they? He spent the entire walk to the car wracking his brain over this mystery.
They soon arrived at a black sedan, an expensive one by the looks of it, and Yuuri put his hand on the passenger side handle and swung the door open.
"One moment, Yuuri. Before you get in, can you put the passenger seat down for me?" Victor asked after storing his bag of groceries in the back behind the driver’s seat and shut the door. Opening the driver's side door and facing the driver's seat at a slight angle, he hoisted himself out of his chair and planted his butt firmly on the seat in one swift and fluid motion, then bent over a moment later to bring each leg into the car.
Confusion washed over Yuuri's features but he obeyed nonetheless, reaching down for the lever and folding the seat down. “Spasibo,” Victor replied, although it was slightly muffed due to the fact that he was leaning out of the car again, this time fiddling with his chair. The backpack came off first and was tossed rather unceremoniously into the back seat. It wasn't like Victor had anything breakable in there. After that, the wheels came off. Those were placed in the back with much more care and consideration than the backpack. Finally, he folded what remained of the chair and placed it in the back of the car as well. Yuuri couldn't help but stare in awe at how Victor moved. Even after an injury, he still seemed to retain a lot of upper body strength and fluidity from his figure skating days. The reason behind folding down the front seat also became clear to Yuuri. It was probably a lot easier to move the wheels and chair to the back with more space. "You can get in now," Victor informed him after he had finished. Yuuri nodded, unfolding the seat and sitting down, closing the door behind him.
The inside of the car was extremely upscale. Black leather seats, sunroof, touchscreen controls for everything from the music to navigation to temperature, not to mention heated seats too(as well as steering wheel. Damn this was a nice car). There was, however, one thing that set it apart from other cars and that was a different lever that seemingly jutted out of the floor and rested near the gear shift. As Victor started the car(the car even had a push to start feature, no key needed – was there anything this thing didn’t have?), his right hand found the lever and they began to reverse out of the parking spot. Yuuri watched the touchscreen for a moment(the car even had a backup camera!) and then turned his attention to Victor. Everything finally made sense. That lever was the hand control for the pedals. That explained how Victor was able to drive, and as they drove, he couldn't help but watch in fascination, all the while wondering why it didn't click for him beforehand.
He was starting to wonder if he was even prepared for what lied ahead.