Always Something (or someone)

What’s a diary

[playingpretendinmymind]

having a breeding kink but being deathly afraid of pregnancy is wild terrible horrible ride

[pansyproud]

when i say i want to be bred, i don’t mean one creampie and done. give me round after round of your cum. give me so much of your seed we’re using it as lube. i wanna feel the burning heat against my cervix, filling my little pussy until it’s pouring down my thighs, pooling on the sheets, and don’t forget to plug my cunt up after so i always know who owns me

[intergalactic-pup]

i love cockwarming, i want to do it all the time, i’m so warm and wet and comfortable inside, don’t you want me to cockwarm you too? i just wanna sit in your lap and shiver and clench around you while you play a video game or work. want you to rub my back and pet my hair and hold me so close as i start to fall asleep with my head on your shoulder, so full and complete with you inside me.

then maybe you can use me while i sleep- who said that

[nikocantsleep]

I’m being irrational rn but ahhhhhhhhh

So like I’m fucking another wildland firefighter (oops) and its fire season :( today he didn’t text me so in my brain either he’s dead or he hates me idk. I always think that my relationships are terrible cause I’m anxiety incarnate but I’m really trying to be chilllllllll. It’s not going well. Anyway I’m probably not gonna sleep now. Also this man is the worst texter ever. I really should be used to it but normally he texts me every day. He probably just got back from work late and or doesn’t have cell service

[nikocantsleep]

My chronic illness is kicking my ass :(

[nikocantsleep]

I just had the worst sex of my life omg. I was trying to fuck to forget my ex and instead ended up wanting to call him because at least he could fuck my brains out. This dude I hooked up with (if you could even call it that) failed to mention that despite being only 19, he struggles to get it up. And I knew he was inexperienced and was like whatever it will just be kinda bad sex oh well. Turns out he can’t kiss for shit either. He wouldn’t shut up the entire time and made it so fucking awkward. Kissing him was actually more of a turn off. I’m sticking with older men for sure. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh

[nikocantsleep]

We need a gay cowboy dating app. Not another fucking hookup app.

[nikocantsleep]

Imma go hookup with someone else

[nikocantsleep]

Andddddd I’m single

[nikocantsleep]

We are meeting up for coffee next week and I just want to cry

[nikocantsleep]

Okay so more shit went down yesterday. I told him that he needs to figure his shit out first. I’m going to text him in a few more days to check up on him because I really miss him. He was just communicating horribly and I talked to one of my friends who is engaged and she said that I should forgive him but ask him to take some time to work on himself. Take a step back but not cut him off. I think messaging him tomorrow apologizing for overreacting and asking to call might be good. Honestly might text him an apology today. He didn’t communicate well and I overreacted. I feel bad now and want to work things out with him because I love him and care about him and he has been nothing but amazing until this point

[nikocantsleep]

[nikocantsleep]

I’m single now

[nikocantsleep]

Sooooo I’m thinking disconnecting his car battery, taking out like five of the chips that are the same size, removing his oil stopper, and disconnecting a few hoses from the engine. I will leave everything with the car so I can’t be charged with theft and I won’t damage anything as I remove it. I happen to know my way around an engine very well and he doesn’t know anything about cars

[nikocantsleep]

Fuck him. He won’t even fucking respond to me now. I’m so fed up. If there is something going on in your life, FUCKING COMMUNICATE THAT! I’m not in charge of maintaining this damn situation. You wanna fuck me and be all lovey and then as of last hookup you no longer want to talk with me about anything serious? But you also want to be more than just a hookup. Boy please. I thought since you were older that maybe you would have your shit together but apparently I somehow end up the more reasonable one yet again. Plus not even that good in bed, you gotta be a lot better than that to make me want to deal with your bullshit

[nikocantsleep]

Life is all better. He called me his boy and I’m getting a tattoo today

[nikocantsleep]

Andddd we are back to crash out town. No I will not invest in a diary I would rather tell the internet about my mental breakdowns