Abundance
Sometimes you have so much, it blocks you from seeing what's in front of you. I suppose this is the "Don't take things for granted" that people talk about? Which, I for one, tend to make that mistake over and over. Though I like to think I'm getting better at it, there's less of an ache in my chest when I think I'm missing out on something, even when I do have it You get so used to having something, it's so uncanny when it's stripped away, in a sense? Or you have so many things that you forget what it's like to have nothing, or maybe you've grown up with so much you've never known what it's like to have nothing? There's this trope I've seen done so many times, the prince with so much wealth jealous of a simple farmer because the farmer seems to content with supposedly "nothing" (to the prince's eyes) whilst the prince toils away in gold, bored of every coin, of all the attention. I found myself chasing people, for validation, attention, as many do. Wishing they'd pick me, my talents, my efforts- albeit futile. I chased because I didn't think I had it, or at least at the time. Now I do, I see it, I have people who'd pick me without begging, without asking, and I'd almost fallen ignorant to that, not appreciating it because I'm so busy looking somewhere else for that. I could make the argument "But it's not from the person I want it from" but when does life ever give you exactly what you want?, rarely to never is it handed to you outright, ( you have to fight for it, more often than not )
But not having it exactly how I wanted, doesn't mean that I don't have it at all! I have ice cream, but it may not be strawberry, but chocolate is amazing in it's own right- if that makes sense? All this to say, I hope I don't forget to appreciate what's in front of me, but at the same time I hope I don't ever stop fighting for what I want