Kpop Bought My Soul

My life has been taken over by kpop boys and girls. Hoseok (BTS), Felix (Stray kids), Wooyoung (ATEEZ), Dowoon (DAY6), Jackson (GOT7), Beomgyu (TXT), Baekhyun (EXO), Rose (Blackpink), Yoohyeon (Dreamcatcher), Soyeon ((G)I-dle) and Lucas (NCT) are my main hoes 👌

[correctsuju]

Leeteuk: Good morning, gays. What wisdom do you bring today?

Ryeowook: Time isn’t real.

Eunhyuk: Men are hot.

Kyuhyun: Frozen pizza is better to eat than unfrozen.

Leeteuk: Thank you, gays.

[correctsuju]

Heechul: What's wrong with you?

Leeteuk: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

[correctsuju]

Donghae: [Playing out of tune guitar]

Eunhyuk: Do you take requests?

Donghae: Yeah.

Eunhyuk: Please stop.

[correctsuju]

Heechul: You shouldn't insult people who are bigger than you.

Ryeowook: Then I'd never get to insult anyone.

[correctsuju]

[knocking on the door]

Yesung: You wanna get that?

Ryeowook: And interact with people? No, thanks.

[correctsuju]

Heechul: Before you say no-

Leeteuk: No.

Heechul: But I haven’t even told you yet.

Leeteuk: I’m sticking with no.

[correctsuju]

Ryeowook: You aren’t coming with me?

Leeteuk: Ryeowook, I’m not your dad. [hands Ryeowook a lunchbox] Here are your sandwiches. I’ll pick you up at five.

[correctsuju]

Eunhyuk: You know my motto. Carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Leeteuk: Seize the day, seize the night... What's the last one?

Kyuhyun, sighing: Seize the dick.

[incorrectsujuquotes]

kyuhyun: you're very cruel

heechul: ah yes, it keeps me young

[incorrectsujuquotes]

Leeteuk, hoping for a normal day: good morning

Donghae: I'm gonna try to become left-handed

[correctsuju]

Yesung: You know what strength is? Forgiving a person who wasn't even sorry.

Ryeowook: Not to be dramatic but I would literally rather die.

[correctsuju]

Donghae: Can I say something that will probably annoy you?

Kyuhyun: Since when did you start asking for permission?

[incorrectsujuquotes]

Leeteuk: God, give me patience

Kyuhyun: I think you mean "give me strength"

Leeteuk: If God gave me strength y'all would be dead

[correctsuju]

Leeteuk: We need to talk about-

Eunhyuk: The building was already on fire when I got here.

Leeteuk: What?

Eunhyuk: What?

[incorrectsujuquotes]

kyuhyun: jellyfish have survived 600,000 years without a brain

kyuhyun: a ray of hope for my hyungs ❤️

[incorrectsujuquotes]

Leeteuk: excuse me, what did I tell you about lying??

Kyuyhyun, sadly: that it only works on Donghae-hyung...

Leeteuk, sighing: Try again.

[carry-me-out]

Heechul, to the camera: I'm trying to drop hints that I want more ballads.

*Cuts to Heechul cornering LSM in a hallway*

Lee Sooman: Oh... hi He-

Heechul: I want more ballads.