love is blindness.

I'm in a parked car on a crowded street, and I see my love made complete. The thread is ripping; the knot is slipping.

[slp-patrick]

[nixlaurent]

atlasjcnsen:

atlas very well knows that he’s depriving the other of sexual relations. he’s more than aware of the fact, actually. sometimes, it simply slips his mind that he’s supposed to be working towards reaching that stage of comfort. it slips his mind that he’s at a mansion for sex. it’s only because things feel so normal here in phoenix’s cabin. phoenix treats him normally. there’s no pressure put down on atlas to do certain things that he may not be ready for, there’s no strict rules, or degrading, even. it’s normalcy. until he returns back down to the mansion, that is. what matters most to him is that phoenix has kept his word. his movements with his tongue aren’t as confident as they should be, but with the parting of nix’s lips, atlas allows his tongue to enter and trace, a familiar blush giving his cheeks some colour. the roaming hand gives him chills, and the squeeze his thigh receives gets something out of him that sounds quite similar to a squeak, which is followed by a barely audible hum. his breath is hitching, now (only in the slightest), one hand placing over the other’s back, as he tries to pull him in even closer. because atlas wants that. call him greedy.

HE’S TRYING HIS very best not to get too into the kiss but he knows he’s guilty of making his approval unmistakably vocalized. and how could he not? atlas is the shyest little minx and yet, somehow, that’s what entices nix all the more. besides that, he’d already been sporting something like morning wood when atlas had traipsed in and now here he was, being so indulgent with his kisses and touches. it’s all phoenix can do to swallow down his need to moan until it’s little more than a breathy hum smothered against the line of atlas’ lips. he allows the other’s tongue to make its tentative explorations, all while starting to massage tender circles into atlas’ thigh. christ, if atlas wants nix to have any semblance of control, he really ought to stop with the needy squeaks of want and the encouraging hand sliding to the small of nix’s back. “baby boy,” the nickname that slips out on impulse is pressed into atlas’ mouth but he obliges what atlas is asking for without words. in one swift movement, nix’s lean, muscled body is leaning over atlas, effectively pinning him back up against the pillows. he swings a leg over to straddle the much smaller male, not breaking the kiss once in the process. in fact, he returns to it wholeheartedly, curling his tongue hotly around atlas’ and finally allowing another moan like sound.

[nixlaurent]

atlasjcnsen:

the funny thing is, none of this had been what he’d been expecting. he had taken a liking to nix upon their first time meeting — how could he not? he’d been in a fear-ridden state, having been left alone, therefore vulnerable, in a dark and dangerous place where cruel intent may lurk just around the corner. phoenix pulled him out of that, offering a safe place to stay all while being so goddamn gentle towards him in everything he said and everything he did. atlas chose the right person to trust. the complete head over heels aspect, though; it hadn’t been in his expectations. he hadn’t thought he’d get so attached, but then again, he supposes there is a reason that it’s called falling for someone. it comes unexpectedly, and yet it’s such a beautiful feeling. when it comes to phoenix, atlas feels as though he’s on top of the world. so when their lips connect, he won’t deny in saying he’s well over the moon. nix releases a sound and instantly melts into the kiss, the smallest of smiles turning the corners of atlas’ lips up. it’s nothing he can control, really; he’s far too caught up in his endearment for the other male. should he be sorry? though, he’s once again rather pleased with himself as a hum rumbles in phoenix’s throat, and it’s not long before he’s skimming his tongue over the other’s lower lip, you could say he’s come quite a ways.

to say atlas has changed him would be an understatement. he had initially gone to bates for his own kind of treatment -- an overload of sexual activity to turn him off of his addiction. he hadn’t expected to meet someone who made him want to stop everything, cold turkey. that’s not to say that his sex drive is any bit diminished -- if anything, atlas brings it out of him without problem -- but he doesn’t want to sleep around until his needs are filled. he wants this one person and this one person only, which wouldn’t be a problem at all, if said person weren’t so damn innocent. the way atlas licks at his lower lip speaks both for and against his purity. somehow, it’s still delicate, even in the heated liplock, but it’s also a step in the right direction, anyhow. nix encourages the motion by parting his lips, craving more of the other male’s taste. the hand cupping atlas’ cheek remains gentle, barely brushing over the skin. but the hand slipping down his side seems to have other plans in mind and sensually continues its path down the curve of his hip until he’s gripping the other’s thigh, giving it a quick but needy squeeze. let atlas take the lead, he’s trying to tell himself as he leans over the smaller figure to deepen the kiss. he’ll slow you down. 

[nixlaurent]

atlasjcnsen:

moments like these are his absolute favourites. when nothing else in the world is of any importance; it just being the two of them there together, intimacy thick and mass amounts of affection pouring over both of their faces. atlas will revel in these moments like no other. his words seem to have been chosen correctly, concluded by the way the other’s cheeks are painted a pretty crimson. his heart is soaring, atlas being genuinely pleased with himself to have gotten this beautiful reaction out of the boy before him. it’s seldom he sees a blush on phoenix’s cheeks. it makes him even prettier. he’s like a kitten, head nudging up against atlas’ hand, as if encouraging him to continue through with the action. it makes him smile. “you’re really beautiful. i worry for their understanding of beauty,” it’s an impertinent sentence and he feels bad for uttering such a thing straight away, and would have started at an apology if it weren’t for phoenix’s next statement. “that’s okay,” there’s a breathy giggle as their noses brush together sweetly, which he allows for a good few seconds more, before he indulges himself by going ahead and pressing their lips together albeit gently.

ATLAS IS SMILING at him so affectionately that even if he hadn’t wanted to kiss him before (he really really had), he’d have wanted to kiss the expression as soon as it passed onto his features. the fact he’s so adamant about calling phoenix beautiful, too, only adds to the many reasons nix has to fall for him. for someone who once only obtained pleasure through the most carnal of touches, atlas is teaching him that even soft can induce shivers and send licks of heat coursing through his bloodstream. the fingers in his hair and the touching of their noses are pure and sweet, both of which nix never thought he’d enjoy so thoroughly. atlas is an intoxicant, in and of himself. nix is just about to make a mental note not to overdose on this sweet boy when lips are being lightly pressed to his own, causing a low sound to instantly slip out against the line of atlas’ mouth. any hopes nix had of tamping down his morning arousal before atlas could take notice went swiftly out the window because, as promised, nix knows he’s not going to be able to break the kiss again. not when atlas tastes so sweetly and is kissing him so gently it’s almost like he might break. nix’s hand lifts to cover the curve of atlas’ cheek, drawing him close so as to deepen the kiss immediately. green eyes flutter closed and before another unintended sound slips from his lips, he settles on a controlled but contented hum of pleasure. his other hand falls down to atlas’ side as nix starts to lean into the kiss, heart hammering happily in his chest.

[nixlaurent]

atlasjcnsen:

his eyes are doe-like; always meeting him in a gaze that’s so gentle, so warm and so very innocent. nix has an affect on him, one like no other. atlas has never experienced attraction towards anyone and, like a fool, he finds himself falling for the gorgeous boy who is most certainly out of his league. anyone could take a look at the fond expression that’s written on his face and realize this within seconds. why his heart gives a jolt and why his breath catches when nix’s thumb trails it’s way to his lips is beyond him. “’course i do, you’re…” his voice cuts off though, and he’s absolutely pleased to be met with a kiss. it’s broken seconds later but he doesn’t pull away entirely, instead he lingers some, hand leaving his cheek, digits all while hesitantly run through the curls atop the other’s head. atlas fawns over these long locks — his affection got the best of him in this moment; so what? a loose strand is eventually tucked behind nix’s ear, and he fails to bite his tongue in time. “beautiful.”

DESPITE HIS RATHER compromising situation beneath the sheets, nix indulges in the shift to intimacy that the kiss with atlas brings over the both of them. the air feels heavy and warm, cultivating whatever fondness is being shared between them and drawing a rather sappy grin onto nix’s lips when they part from atlas’. he hadn’t meant to cut the other off -- in fact, he scolds himself for it. atlas’ voice is quickly becoming one of nix’s favourite sounds and he loathes to be the reason he’s unable to hear it. as it turns out, though, his interruption bears no ill effects on atlas’ sentiments, the utterance of conclusion springing a more fervent blush to nix’s cheeks. “you say that so convincingly,” he chuckles, nudging towards the palm of the pet’s hand and half closing his eyes. “i don’t think anyone’s actually called me beautiful and meant it as earnestly as you do.” he’s gotten his fair share of flirty come ons and rogue cat calls with the compliment sprinkled in but none make his heart flutter like hearing atlas say as much. “i would enjoy kissing you again but i’m afraid that once i start, i won’t be able to stop.” honesty begets honestly, though nix is leaning in all the same, brushing their foreheads and noses together with a shaky breath and a smile.

[nixlaurent]

atlasjcnsen:

atlas is beaming this evening and it’s wonderful. happiness, to atlas, is one of the best things in the world, and he’d radiate it every chance he got. he’s been told he reminds people of joy from that one disney pixar film about emotions, but he personally feels as though fear is a more suitable character. phoenix’s suggestion almost has him soaring. how lucky atlas is to have someone like him in a place like this ( ironic enough? ). “oh, i’d love that! thank you,” he’s absolutely exuberant, hands clasping together and everything. everything softens, though, when the warmth of phoenix’s hand covers one of his cheeks. just like that, the smaller of the two is completely drawn in. “thank you,” his own voice has dropped substantially in volume and he’s pretty damn sure he’ll get lost in the green he’s grown so fond of. a delicate hand raises to nix’s cheek and he ghosts his thumb over his skin, the softest of smiles worn on his face. “you do too. i think y’always do.”

IF EVER THERE WAS a time when nix felt particularly smitten, it was when atlas was happiest. the way his hands were clasped together with the free spirited whimsy of a child was too endearing for words, sending phoenix’s breath hitching in his throat. his eyes practically glitter when nix is cupping his cheek, drawing him into a moment of intimacy. atlas is all long eyelashes and whispers, sending nix’s heart racing though his blood is still rushing downwards. there’s a dainty hand mirror his own, fingertips brushing along the skin of nix’s cheek ever so softly. atlas is like a butterfly, gentle with touches that are barely there. “always, hm?” he queries with an arched brow, his own thumb wandering downwards until it’s pressed to the plush of atlas’ lower lip. “do you really think that? quite a high praise coming from you.” nix smiles and moves to swiftly replace his touch to atlas’ mouth with his own lips, stealing a tiny kiss in reward.

[nixlaurent]

atlasjcnsen:

atlas is incapable of resisting, or hiding, rather, the pouty frown that takes hold over his expression. it’s only in existence for a split second though because, truthfully, just about nothing could actually tear down his chipper mood this evening. “i’d like that,” he gives in response, head nodding in a subtle way. like is probably an understatement but that doesn’t need to be spoken of, because no way in hell would he ever want to come on too strong. often times he has to hold back on just how excited he truly gets over things. “a holmes boy indeed. oh, it’s my favourite! i never got t’ hear when season four would be comin’ out, but i think it should be soon!” his cheeks definitely darken at the touch but he finds he quite likes it so he smiles, going ahead and closing all distance between them with a quick scoot.

HE’S RATHER PLEASED with himself, nix is. not only has he managed to make atlas smile so brightly by talking about his music but he’s unlocked one of the other’s interests and gets to seem him light up even further. nix makes plans to download every episode of sherlock to his laptop so they can curl up and watch it together, maybe even projecting it onto the big screen and making snacks to go along with it. “i’ll have to look into that season four thing for you -- maybe when it comes out, we can watch it the day of so you’ll be all caught up.” nix didn’t expect atlas to close the distance between them. he also didn’t expect his own skin to heat up all over, not at all helping with his not so little problem. atlas is flushed and oh so pretty and nix’s common sense gets a bit muddled at the sight. the hand stays on his thigh while the other reaches over to tilt atlas’ face in his direction, cupping his cheek softly. “you look very pretty, you know,” he muses in a voice that’s just as light as his touch.

[nixlaurent]

atlasjcnsen:

he’s apologizing for not having many books around despite not being much of a reader and it’s all too sweet. who is atlas kidding, though; practically everything nix does is seen as sweet and perfectly delightful to him. call him smitten — it wouldn’t be a lie, and the chances of him denying it would be very low. “no need t’ apologize, darlin’. a study in scarlet. holmes has always been one’a my favourites,” he states easily. he’s read this one plenty times in his childhood and once within the first month of being here at bates, but why not have another go at it? he’d take re-reads over the numerous ‘nasty sex books’ the library has any day. erotica? a no-go. his expression actually brightens and it should be known by this point in time that he loves hearing nix talk about his music. you may as well call him his biggest fan. “really? that’s real cool —— ‘m sure it’s lovely.”

NIX WONDERS IF ATLAS would ever blame him for anything -- he seems to have the most easy going personality and never holds anything against the young man who technically brought him here. the books were a minor issue but nix still smiled gratefully. he would curl in closer to atlas’ tiny figure if there weren’t still the problem of his hard on hidden beneath the sheets and comforter. “yeah, only a bit of writing. nothing too substantial so i’m not sure it could be considered lovely. i think you’re just being kind but you could listen to it when it actually gets finished.” sharing with atlas seems like it’d be a fun time; he wants the other’s opinion more than anyone, he finds. “a holmes boy, you are then? i take it you’ve seen that sherlock show.” nix’s hand slides onto atlas’ thigh, resting there lightly and he does indulge himself a little by sliding closer. he couldn’t help it.

[nixlaurent]

atlasjcnsen:

it seems as though nix hasn’t stepped out of bed yet and it only contributes to the smile atlas is wearing. for all he knows though, he could have; it’s just the impression that the smaller of the two is being given. the image of phoenix bundled up under the sheets is endearing either way. of course he takes up on the offer and slips his sneakers off, leaving them near the foot of the bed as he hops up beside the other. “went down t’ the mansion for a bit. i needed, um, a new book ‘n stuff,” shifting into a more comfortable position, atlas draws in a deep breath which is released as a long sigh, as he finally relaxes back against the pillow he’s propped up behind him. an outsider would more than likely presume he’d just returned from running a damn marathon. “what’ve y’been up to while i was gone?”

HE RUBS SOME of the sleep out of his eyes and sinks down lower into the blankets. watching atlas creep over to the bed and nestle under the sheets helps to distract him from his growing problem, at least, and he listens attentively. let atlas never be able to say that nix didn’t give him the attention he always deserves. “did you grab a good one to bring back? i’m sorry i haven’t got many here -- reading was never my strongest subject.” neither were the maths or sciences but atlas doesn’t need to know that. nix squirms a little on the bed as atlas perches so close to him, sinking back into the pillow. he looks so damn cute it should be illegal -- the wind left spots of pink on his cheeks and he seems to be out of breath. “bit of sleeping,” he confesses sheepishly. “but a bit of songwriting too. first thing when i wake up and last thing before bed seem to be the times when i have the most muse.”

[nixlaurent]

atlasjcnsen:

atlas tugged the main doors of the mansion open, being hit by a chill. texas generally has warm enough weather, though from time to time, it tends to cool off in the hours of the night or early morning. it’s not unusual for atlas to be cold, anyhow, and it’s times like this he’s extra glad that he has his hoodie. he’d returned to the mansion hours previous, spending a bit of time in the library and then meeting up with a friend ( his only friend, pretty much ) and, truthfully, he’s rather eager to get back to the cabin —— back to nix. the trek is always rather long one. finally though, after what feels like forever, he arrives, slipping in and carefully and quietly locking the door after himself. “hiya, sweets,” he greets with a short smile as he normally does when he finds phoenix in his bedroom, windedness evident in the way he spoke his words; rushed and hushed. ( @nixlaurent )

IT WAS A BIT embarrassing, how lazy nix was becoming. when he wasn’t out with atlas or otherwise entertaining his lovely little companion, 9 times out of 10 he was in his bed or lounging on the couch, picking out chords on his guitar. today happens to be the former, bedsheets in a tangle around his legs and gathered at his waist. he tugs the comforter off of the floor and drapes it over his bare chest and the rest of his body, hoping to disguise the fact that he’s slept in so late. there’s another reason he’s covering up -- his body hasn’t quite got the memo that it’s not first thing in the morning and he doesn’t want atlas to think his arousal is anything telling. although he’s fond of the sound, a few words in atlas’ drawl aren’t quite enough to get him going. “where’ve you been, angel?” he asks in his own lilt, casually patting the spot on the bed beside him in invitation.

[nixlaurent]

petleonicks:

Leo didn’t know what to say in reply to Nix’s words.  Between the complete 180 in Nix’s personality evidenced by the rule an the man’s own compliance and the loss of something that had been a comfort for him, he couldn’t come up with anything more than a pout and eventually a muttered, “Monogamy at even the hug level.  Guess I don’t know you anymore, Nix.”

NIX FROWNED AT HIS ex’s tone. “are you kidding me right now? it’s been years, leo. you are aware of that, right? i’ve changed in the years since we’ve been apart and so, i’m sure, have you. wanting someone to only be intimate with me and only be intimate with him in return is -- wait for it -- how most relationships work. forgive me for trying to recreate that here.”

[nixlaurent]

petleonicks:

“And it’s mean.  It’s not as if I can steal him from you.  And I won’t try to have sex with him or anything.”  Not if it would get his friend in trouble.  “What harm is a little cuddling between friends?” Leo asked, a touch of frustration in his voice.  He’d hoped his ex would trust him.

“IT’S NOT MEAN, it’s what i want. and i’m paying quite a lot of money to get what i want here,” he stated bluntly, a frown furrowing his brow. “you can be friends with someone without being physically intimate with them. i’m sure if you genuinely care about his personality, you’ll be able to manage that much. he’s your friend but he’s my...” he lets his voice fade out and sighed. “it’s literally my one rule, leo. and i’m expected to follow it for him too.”

[nixlaurent]

garrett--ward:

“As far as aesthetics go, this place certainly has it in spades, but I’m sure we can all agree that’s not the main attraction.” Garrett smirked as he walked around the common area. “It’s nice to finally be settled in.”

“AND WHAT ARE WE agreeing on being the main attraction then?” he asked, though he has a feeling he already knows the answer. “i take it you’re a new.... master?” 

[nixlaurent]

petleonicks:

“Mean.  You know you want this,” Leo said with an exaggerated pout as he gestured at his body.  “You seem to be big on spoiling all my fun,” he added, jokingly shaking his finger at the man.  “He’s my best friend here and he tells me that your rules prevent him from cuddling with me.”

“I’M PERFECTLY SATISFIED the way things are, thanks,” he smirked. it was a slight lie -- satisfied and slightly frustrated might be a better way to describe his current state but discussing his sexual deprivation with his ex boyfriend wasn’t high on his priorities. “that’s what i’m here for; to spoil things for you.” nix added an exaggerated wink. his heart gave a flutter at the thought of atlas following his one rule. he liked that probably a bit more than he should. “and? it’s a rule of mine for a reason.”

[nixlaurent]

petleonicks:

“Oh yeah, all the dreams.  Clearly I’ve lured you out here for a roll in the hay to fulfill them,” Leo said with a laugh as he let Nix help him into the cart.  He waited until he was settled in at Nix’s side and the cart was moving before he answered the man’s question.  “Atlas.  Your cutie pet.  My friend.”

“UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU, a romp in the hay isn’t anywhere in my plans, at least not with you,” he chuckled under his breath, giving a shake of his head. his gaze scanned over their surroundings, enjoying the theme of autumn that had overtaken the mansion’s grounds. “you’re friends with my atlas?” he queried, eyes flickering back to leo’s features. he avoided calling the other his pet but the possessive was probably just as effective. “what about him?”

[nixlaurent]

petleonicks:

“Maybe I missed your pretty face,” Leo said with cheeky grin as he grabbed Nix’s arm and began to pull the man towards one of the carts for the hayrides.  “And maybe I want to talk to you about a mutual acquaintance,” he added, offering up a bit of truth.  Though to be fair, the part about Nix having a pretty face was true too.

“I UNDERSTAND THAT i probably haunt all your sex dreams of late but is that any reason to corner me at a fall festival? hm?” he accused playfully but allowed leo to lead the way, hopping up into the cart before offering his hand back down to his ex. “a mutual acquaintance? i don’t follow. is someone else here that we know?” nix wasn’t sure he could handle more bandmates being at bates.

[nixlaurent]

petleonicks:

@nixlaurent

Leo tracked down Nix during the Thansgiving event.  He wanted to talk to the man about Atlas and just as much, he just wanted to talk to his ex for the point of familiarity.  “Hey…want to take a hayride, Nix?  I’ve been looking for you.”

HE DOESN’T EXPECT his ex boyfriend to seek him out of all people but upon hearing leo’s voice, nix turns towards the sound instead of away. he arches a brow in acknowledgement but gives a shrug and a nod. nothing wrong with enjoying the celebration and all that it offered. “why might that be?” he asks with a tilt of his head.