nakahara chuuya simpbot

[about] [chuuya imagines] [ko-fi] cee, 23, trying to build a writing habit and to stay sane by pretending my comfort character loves me back, etc etc.

[nkhrchuwuya]

Hello!! Hope you’re feeling okay/better, and take your time!! No rush Cee, we’re willing to wait!!

hello hello 🥺

thank you so much for your sweet words 😭 I've actually been thinking about this blog a lot (especially after the past few bsd chapters...), so it was such a pleasant surprise to see this in the inbox

thank you so much for sticking around and all that 🥹

sadly i can't promise when i can sit down and be in this blog again with everything irl, diverging interests (though i still love BSD!), but i do have WIPs still and all that so! it's not out of the question!

i love all of you and thank you so much for being kind to me after all this time 💓 this blog is always open for you guys to be at.

to my lovely friends (everyone!! is included!!), if you'd like to contact me outside of here to like talk about chuuya / bsd / (I'm also into star rail / genshin) send me a message or an ask and I'll give you my twt or my discord!! i'd love to talk to you guys, i miss you all.

okay, that's enough for my sap! thank you again 🥺 sending love and hugs and good energy!

[nkhrchuwuya]

im slowly losing my mind at work

👀 maybe i should get back to this blog...

[nkhrchuwuya]

i love that tumblr recommended your blog and your most recent post is as equally confused on The State Of Writing™ as i am so heres a congrats to you and all the work you've posted, started, abandoned, drafted, or just yelled about in notes over the course of your life because each and every phase of making something is just as monumental of an achievement as the finished work being packaged and ready to go ✨

aww 🥺 hi friend! thank you so much for your warm words... you're right, every little bit of work is still work, still progress regardless of how perfect or finished it is! i hope you're also keeping this to heart, and we both find our way out of The Confusion™ one day! you're so kind to share this message out here. and to all my followers / readers who might relate, this one's for you guys too!

thank you for passing by 💕 take care!

[nkhrchuwuya]

take care cee we love uu !! hughughughug -juice anon

thank you juice anon!! 🥺

thank you for caring about me as a person despite the lack of fics 🫂 it means a lot-lot.

[nkhrchuwuya]

hello cee! I just finished reading Stormbringer and came here to re-read your pieces, when I saw your last update. Good luck with your new job, I'm sure you'll adjust to it eventually and regain your balance - sending you a hug:)

- 🐝

omg hi 🐝 anon!! i hope you enjoyed stormbringer as much as i did!! it's such a wild right from start to finish, no? lots of twists i didn't expect but of course it was excellent writing again. #goals if i may say so myself.

thank you for cheering me on 🥺 it's really been confusing and hard since i'm working on my own with a lot of responsibilities... i hope you're right that it'll get easier 😊 thank you for the hug! giving you one back, take care!

[nkhrchuwuya]

hi cee, are you okay? 🥺

-🐙

hey 🐙 anon! thank you for checking in 🥺

i'm not doing too well actually 😅 i've been in kind of a slump for a bit and recently i've got a job (again... finally) and it was kind of a rush thing so keeping up with it is still kind of hard.

i miss writing for you guys actually... i have a lot of drafts that are half-done that haven't seen the light of day here :( i wish i had the focus and energy to finish them, but it's just been hard to somehow.

sorry for disappearing on you guys 😢 i really want to write for chuuya some more - and i still do - it's just i have trouble with the entire writing process right now. i miss you guys so much and thank you for staying! i still get notes on older posts and when people back read it's always lovely to see 🥺

soon hopefully things will turn for the better! (and hopefully we'll finally see chuuya in the manga again!) here's to doing our bests 🥂

[nkhrchuwuya]

hey, how you doing? haven’t seen your posts in a while, i hope everything is okay! can i pick your brain about something if you’re not busy? do you think chuuya would be fit with someone who’s the same as him in terms of harbouring a monster inside? or would he try to avoid this person? i think it’s a all or nothing type situation where either this person would be perfect for him or his sworn enemy

hey hey!! thank you for checking in 🥺 i'm doing okay, still not at my best but we're getting there! i missed writing for you guys so thank you for sending a little thing i can muse about while my little writer brain is still kind of dead.

personally i think it's going to depend a lot on the other person who has a monster inside of them too. because with chuuya, i feel like he'll find some sick sense of comfort that he's not alone in this and that someone can probably comprehend to a certain degree the difficulty and weight of what it means to harbor arahabaki, but at the same time, he will be very concerned about them, whether or not this is concern in general or as someone who has feelings for them.

the thing is, if the other person isn't stable with the monster inside of them, i feel like chuuya would much rather back off. sure he'll be concerned about their health and safety, but at the same time, he knows that these kind of "demons" both literally and figuratively are something that must be handled on one's own, much like he did with his own. if they respond positively, that is, they deal with it well and come to terms with it, then chuuya would likely react positively to them too. but if they respond negatively, chuuya would feel like they'd respond negatively to his own existence too as a "monster-bearer", and he'd rather not be involved then.

if the other person is on even footing though, i feel like they'd get along pretty well. not that they're going to bond over their shared monster-inside-of-me thing, but in an unsaid way they'll surely find companionship with each other because of it too.

i hope that makes sense, even if a little bit! this was really fun to think about, thank you for passing by!!

[nkhrchuwuya]

patience

bungou stray dogs | G | 401 words nakahara chuuya x reader/oc

chuuya is willing to be patient for you. 

chuuya has a patience unrivaled by many.

it’s a skill honed by years and years of being in the mafia, and the need to be diplomatic when it comes to negotiating and trade deals. he’s not exactly the bloodthirsty mafioso in television. chuuya would like to argue that that trope is overused and so far from the truth. but that’s not the point here.

if he has to wait, he will.

that’s why it took so long for him to actually confess his feelings for you. and even longer for him to “make it official.” the two of you had taken the slow, slow, confusing, maze-like route to what is now the most stable thing you know. and it’s all because of chuuya’s patience.

but he can’t… not all the time. there are times he just gets at the tail end of his patience.

like in the port mafia headquarters in a meeting late in the afternoon about some subordinate’s job being completed, which he doesn’t really care about but has to because he’s the one overlooking the mission. he’d really much rather be home, but he has to sit through this for a little while longer.

or when he’s in mori’s office listening to him say something or the other about dazai again or elise. he has utmost respect and patience in this man, for teaching him a lot of valuable lessons, but god—sometimes he just wants him to shut his trap and let him walk out the office door instead, maybe call you if you’re not busy.

sometimes it’s not even as complicated as that. don’t get chuuya to go in line for you at a café—unless there are only two people max in line—because he is going to be so grumpy at the barista by the time he gets in front that they will have to escort him outside. (you learned this the hard way).

but chuuya understands that there are things he has to be patient for. for it to be perfect. for it to be just right. and the wait will be worth it. the frustration will be worth it. the held breath, the focused gaze, they will all be worth it.

and he reminds himself this, as he thinks of the ring hiding in the far end of his closet, watching you nap as the yokohama mid-afternoon glow reflects over your face.

-

(this is how he proposed)

[nkhrchuwuya]

it’s gotten to the point i look at soukouku fan arts and pretend i’m dazai

mood

[nkhrchuwuya]

dolled-up

bungou stray dogs | T | 665 words nakahara chuuya x reader/OC

chuuya likes dressing you up. and when someone has something bad to say about it? well...

you and chuuya get a lot of looks when you’re walking down the street. especially after he started dressing you up. at first, chuuya would always volunteer to drive you in a car or at least on a motorcycle, to avoid prying eyes, and for your own safety. but after a certain amount of time, it became dull, monotonous, and really, a little restricting.

so you made a compromise. you wear your “regular, commoner clothes” (your words) when you’re out alone, and when you do have to wear your “stylish, chuuya-approved clothes” (your words still) you’ll have to be out with him, so he can assure that no one dares to do anything more than look. and he’d agreed to that. and you’d agreed to that, not knowing the level of how far “assuring” chuuya meant when he haggled it into the explanation.

until today.

“chuuya!”

the man stumbles backwards, falls on his ass to the ground with a yelp clutching his cheek. chuuya had aimed for the center of his face, but moved it sideways when he heard your clarity-inducing voice. he doesn’t have time to deal with lowlifes like this. he just had to land a blow and then the both of you can go.

so dislocating the man’s jaw was enough. he didn’t even need to use his ability.

your instinct is to rush toward the injured man, the very same man who, just seconds ago, had insinuated you might be some sort of gold-digging whore with a dirty, scheming boyfriend. all because the two of you were just the slightly dressed up above average for a little dinner and then a chill planetarium date because there were shooting stars tonight.

a whore?

“i dare you to fucking say that again with your face like that,” chuuya growls, the only thing holding him back from throwing another blow being your hand around his wrist. the orange of the sunset illuminates his face in an angry glow that makes his features light in an intimidating glow. “wanna find out what i’m going to do to you next?”

you tug at his wrist again. “chuuya, he’s had enough. let’s go.”

really, you’re the only voice of reason when he gets like this. with a huff, chuuya snaps out of it and you gratefully pull him next to you. you try to look regretful at the “poor victim” while inside boiling him alive for what he’s said to you and chuuya. with a deadpan look at the nearest bystander—because of course there are people watching—you say, “please call him an ambulance.”

and then, with one last look at the man, the two of you leave the scene without another word.

once you’ve gotten far enough, the sunset giving in to twilight’s violet glow, you hit chuuya at the shoulder with your hand. you understand why he reacted like that, and inwardly you are thankful because you wouldn’t have had the courage to do it yourself, but at the same time… “did you have to act so violently?”

“didya think i was gonna tolerate that?” he huffs, remorseless. “can’t let him think he’s right.”

you frown. “i get it, but you don’t have to make a scene every time.”

sensing your upset, chuuya turns to you. “can’t promise, love, but i’ll try.”

“good. you should try your best.”

“maybe i won’t try as hard.”

you glower. “chuuya!”

chuuya laughs unapologetically as the two of you turn the corner to the restaurant. he links his arms with yours and you lean, for the slightest of moments, against his shoulder. he doesn’t give one shit what other people think about you, of the both of you. he’s going to make sure his highness is dressed exactly the way they want in the most beautiful of ways no matter how simple or extravagant. and he’ll make sure no one has any negative things to say about it.

[nkhrchuwuya]

suddenly hit by like an intense love for chuuya and i had to search up gifs of him and shit and i went to rewatch dead apple but only the parts with him in it and i looked at my folder of bsd screenshots and i felt like i had to let someone know the immense grip this pretty pretty man has on me but i didnt know who to tell so im here now hi cee 🧍 - juice

"i went to rewatch dead apple but only the parts with him in it" IF THAT ISN'T A MOOD JUICE ANON. i literally have ango's and chuuya's lines memorized at this point imprinted in my brain. those scenes were crazy af for my heart.

thank you for coming to me to report of your very valid very relatable intense love for chuuya!! i hope since you've sent this ask you've continued to have great memories/experiences even in your mind with chuuya and continue to love him for a long time ♥

also, 400th post! wouldn’t have gotten here without you guys :’)

[nkhrchuwuya]

do you think chuuya would be compatible with someone who’s a little bratty and spoiled? considering he has luxurious tastes (and his legendaric imitation of a spoiled rich girl). imagine the banter.

- “it would be fun to argue with chuuya” anon.

omg it's you again! lovely to see you still around anon!

i can absolutely see the banter, yeah! especially if they have opposing tastes in things! "luxurious" is a very diverse thing still, and it'd be hilarious if chuuya, who is into very classically luxurious stuff (wine, motorcycles, cars maybe) gets paired with an s/o who just goes wild on, say, really out of the box fashion.

i do think, however, that chuuya only has a patience limit for someone like that. like, sure, he'll tolerate brattiness (especially in bed) and being spoiled (he likes to spoil his loved ones) but there's a certain degree where he wants them to own up to their actions and take responsibility and all that. he'll take those traits some times, but not all the times, because at the end of the day, chuuya was still raised with the discipline needed for the mafia, and he'll definitely want it- or at the very least a reflection of it- in an s/o of his own.

[nkhrchuwuya]

hey cee, I'm so glad you're back!! as usual, your works are such a pleasure to read. please take care of yourself, burnout from work is a serious thing, and you deserve to recover from a stressful job. sending hugs - 🐝

(replies to this after another week-long break)

thanks 🐝 anon, your words mean a lot to me! honestly i've been feeling guilty about quitting and just "lazing around" (read: barely functioning) lately but your words cheered me up a bit :') thank you!

i promise i'll do my best to write more stuff for you guys, my energy management's just been super weird, and with mild executive dysfunction... anyway you're not gonna hear more excuses from me, just- patience please! thank you!

[nkhrchuwuya]

training wheels

bungou stray dogs | G | 578 words nakahara chuuya x reader/oc

not everyone was taught how to ride a bike as a young child.

“how do you not know how to ride a bike?”

“how do you not know how to make onigiri?”

“okay, fine, you win.”

when chuuya took you out of yokohama into this little small-town getaway in the mountains, he was expecting something like taking photographs with the view or eating at local restaurants or just sitting in a park enjoying the weather.

instead:

“hey look, bicycle rentals.”

“wanna bike up the mountain? doubt ya can race me though.”

“actually i have a better idea. come on, let’s get one each.”

pause, fast forward.

“no, really, not even once in your childhood?”

“…not really,” you say, now a little embarrassed at the situation.

chuuya, instead, pulls your chin and makes you look at him.

“i’m a great teacher, so ya better learn quick. gotta race up that mountain by the end of the day.”

“sure.” then, a pause. your eyes widen in fear. “wait, by the end of the day?!”

he grins, that grin you fell in love with. “mafia training or nothing, baby.”

-

somehow the falling becomes the best part.

naturally, you fall. quite a number of times actually. thanks to chuuya’s ability, you do not hit the ground even once. but the fall is real. but there is no pain. not only because of anti-gravity, but because your teacher is no one else but chuuya.

you stumble, you get back up.

he lets you waddle around the flat area for a little bit, slowly encouraging you to lift your feet up onto the pedal as you become more comfortable with the bike’s balance. when shame-induced panic rises to your throat, he rushes over you, his presence a gentle wash of sunlight. his hands are gentle on your back as he fixes your posture on the bike. he places his fingers over yours over the handlebars, gently pushing you forward. urging you. never rushing, but persuading you to keep going.

so you do.

the first time you move a few meters down in a straight line he gives you a thumbs up. at your first turn he yells out your name in celebration. he lets you finish a lap with wide-eyed excitement- the same one you’re wearing on your face- but by the time you come by him at the second he raises his hand up in a high-five and-

you wobble, naturally, and fall to the side, gently put down by tainted sorrow, and you feel the crunch of the pavement beneath you.

and you’re laughing.

chuuya picks the bike back up, glowing red, off of your body, before he helps you up. when you’re safe on your feet, he brushes off your hair sticking to your sweaty forehead, and then gives you a tap right hard in the middle.

“hey! what was that-”

“i kept my end of the promise, ya know how to bike now.” chuuya grins. “now it’s your turn to fulfill yours.”

“what? i didn’t make any promises.” a beat. “oh wait, i- hey, that’s so unfair!”

chuuya pulls up his bike where it’s leaning against the wall, standing next to you in the muted sunlight filtering through the clouds. “i heard there’s a good ramen place up the mountain.”

a beat. you consider the weight of the bike in your hands, and the fact that, well, the path up the mountain doesn’t seem that steep, and with tainted sorrow at chuuya’s beck and call…

you frown, defeated. “oh, what the hell.”

[nkhrchuwuya]

hmmm i think maybe you should try and give yourself as much as a break while you can before you get a job. or at least try and find a job with a nicer boss and workload (we can only wish).

also that fic you were talking about (chuuya trying to kill his inner god blah blah blah) sounds like a good idea. i appreciate how your characterisation of chuuya doesn’t sugar coat him as such… like he was in the mafia at such a young age it’s fair to assume he’s gotten access to drugs, prostitution, violence ect far too early. it was already confirmed in stormbringer that chuuya was drinking back in the sheep so he probably got up to way more in the mafia.

-🐙

aww thanks for your concern 🐙 anon... i definitely will make the most of my break while i can. luckily (or unluckily?) i'm dealing with some health concerns rn that's left me a little too shaky to actually go find a job... and in this market too. so yeah! more breaks, more fics hopefully!

you really think so? i'm glad you like it 😊 yeah, as much as i do not condone those things being done by minors (this is for the canceler squad) in the canon it's really impossible to imagine that chuuya was an angel growing up. not in an environment like that. even if he wanted to not engage in those things, he would have eventually been exposed, and with the attitude of a teenager... it was almost common sense to me. and i'm glad you agree 🥺

[nkhrchuwuya]

Is the prostitute girl an oc or just a nameless side character??

yeah here's the tough part- i was planning to make it a self-insert. like, second person and all that. i'm still gauging if it's a little too hard/gritty to force a reader into the headspace of someone in the underground sex ring of the port mafia...

i'm not too comfortable with making OCs myself really, since personally i prefer to enter the headspace of whoever i'm reading about (ex. when i'm reading skk i like to focus on what chuuya's feeling/thinking, even in a third-person neutral fic).

what do you guys think? will it be too much?

[nkhrchuwuya]

aside from the uni au, do you have any other chuuya series ideas? you said your specialty was angst, there has to be something darker right?

hmm honestly there is one i started drafting last year that could be a potential multiseries. it'll be way longer than 5 chapters or so though.

a warning though, it's really gritty, faux noir kind of stuff. tw prostitution, underage vices, abuse. if you're interested, it's below the cut.

without spoiling too much, the premise was a young (16-17) chuuya wanting to "kill the god inside him". he's young and he's powerful, so he tries on vices that shouldn't be available to him at that age. he meets a girl his age in the port mafia prostitute ring, whose only goal in life is to get back to school and be "normal" after all the abuse n hurt that has happened in her life. her view on the world- and what it means to be "normal"- absolutely changes the way chuuya sees, and- well, skipping over all the conflicts- that's basically the entire fic.

i know it's entirely valid to be writing about taboo stuff like abuse and these things with the proper trigger warnings and awareness that we do not condone these behaviors but i'm still really hesitant to write it, no matter how much i enjoy this idea.

(this is bc i got hate once for wanting to write a fic featuring cheating and now it's still my second most kudos'd work on ao3, by what i assume are reasonable, critical thinking readers. so go figure)

anyway that's what i got!! i really didn't get that far, just a vague sense/feeling of how the fic will go, so i can't promise it'll be written anytime soon (unless i get commissioned to write it or something /hj).

if this interests you guys i might try to pick it up when i can :)