[rubyleaf]

"Boy I sure wish there was a character who functions like me who's still made it somewhere in life!"

Commander Sir Samuel Vimes of the Ankh-Morpork City Watch:

[ackermom]

julius caesar’s assassination was the last time everyone in a group project did their part

[hhelenoftroy]

apart from the fact that 60 people agreed to stab him and he only had 23 stab wounds

[vaeveritas-deactivated20180504]

Sounds about right

[charliecoxbf]

catch me in ancient rome stabbing julius caesar 23 times and bitching about having to do everything myself while the 59 assholes who should be helping me are out having fun snorting marijuana out of caligula’s bootyhole or whatever it is young people do nowadays

[heedra]

why do wizards and mages and shit in stuff always have to use a fucking stick or staff to do magic. what’s so special about a gotdamn tree bone

[viridiansunlight]

there’s a huge occult explanation for that but long story short: if you miscast do you want a stick to explode or your hand?

[corvidcorgi]

also good for hitting people

[kelssiel]

twirly

[skeleton-or-die]

dramatic flair

[inkyxward]

tastes good

[circles-finest]

tastes good

[bairnsidhe]

… is nobody going to point out it’s a phallus?

[manyleggedluggage]

Aaaaaaee Wizard’s staff has a knob on the end….

[h1234567890-deactivated]

[ruinedchildhood]

[onlytwitterpics]

[maybeacanadian]

[deejay]

[marvelgifs]

[dagangstapenguin]

The most realistic scene in any Marvel movie.

[lionsaye]

potions in inquisition: ok better use these sparingly…. potions in origins: SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS EVERYBODDDYYY

[wfneklsfmcsd-mooooved-deactivat]

there are two types of people on this site:

people who would date a supernatural being (cryptid, werewolf, vampire, etc.)

people who would date a technological being (computer, program, robot, etc.)

[poseysprostate]

bisexuals exist

[snufkunt]

gen z kids don’t give a single fuck and they’re all like 9

[grandnutin-deactivated20200122]

Actually, Generation Z began in 1998. So if you’re 19 or younger, you’re gen Z

[amayikes]

Actually Actually I’ve read that it began in 95. So as far as 22, I’m sorry for you but you’re gen Z.

[hduece]

18-23 year olds who are in the weird gray area between generations

[voynichs]

oblivion sure is a wild ride

[newestvegas]

“Ah, Perry the platypus!”

“What an unexpected -“

“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!”

“You’re trapped!”

“By societal convention!”

“Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”

“That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.”

[hummingbird-hooligan]

This show is fucking brilliant.

[blackholesandhyperfixations]

you read that in his voice don’t deny it

[freshmoviequotes]

Thor: Ragnarok (2017)

[doctordisaster]

The United States of America (1865-2018)

[skipinouterspace]

My jaw dropped at this joke. Like how’d that get in a marvel movie

[bitterfucked]

if you’ve never seen one before

deer are smaller than you think

raccoons are bigger than you think

bears are smaller than you think but you were pretty close

otters are bigger than you think no even bigger than that

wolves are bigger than you think

wild cats are smaller than you think but hopefully you’ll never see one

chipmunks are smaller than you think

so are mice but you’ve seen a mouse right

you were right about the size of moose, mostly

pigs are bigger than you think

coyotes are that size

so are foxes

woops bears are bigger than you think but only that one type

this is an informational post about mammals if you know more please do tell

[legislacerator]

buffalo are bigger than you’ve ever even imagined. you’ve never seen anything that big in your life i promise

[leafcrunch]

i support this post except you have no idea how big are moose

[tramampoline]

moose are fucked up big and nothing will ever prepare you for it

[thegreenwolf]

[rosebuncat]

What??? The fuck????

[bongwaterdrinkerr]

dolphins are way bigger than you think

[heiroic]

When someone asks you what the smallest unit of matter is

[grifalinas]

The thing about Discworld, you see, is that it’s a very hopeful form of cynicism. It doesn’t just tell you that the world is crap, it says, well, yes, of course the world is crap, but that’s why you should be hopeful, and helpful, and kind, and why you have to be good, because maybe you can make it a little less crap.

[coralbluebirdtiger-deactivated2]

[coralbluebirdtiger-deactivated2]

the sequel:

[onlytwitterpics]

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

me: hey can you make dopamine and serotonin

my brain: