flaws and tragedies

kat | 19 • there are fireflies dwelling inside my stomach and words building fire all over my lungs •  bsft x uplb

[no-stalgicsoul]

05. 05. 19

i have been gone for so long. here’s a life update fellas.

1. i fell in love and had this boy stick with me. yes, single no more.

2. he bought me a cute skirt. i tried it. well, kinda felt good in my body (ive been feeling so insecure the past days). so yes, there goes my first daring selfie lmao.

ps. im happy where i am now. hope it stays like that.

[no-stalgicsoul]

turning twenty this feb 17 lmfao twenty years na kong single 

am i going to be single for life? lol ok

[naramdil]

third base is when you both discuss your emotional trauma with one another 

[no-stalgicsoul]

flirting can sumtyms be exhausting

[no-stalgicsoul]

i want to hold hands and kiss..........lol

[no-stalgicsoul]

12. 12. 18

a high school friend of mine (tin) whom i haven’t seen for almost a year visited. she’s currently hanging out with another hs friend of mine (sop). i had no idea that she’ll visit elbi lol. the thing is, i can’t go out of my room kasi ‘di pa tuyo clothes ko including my undies ! !! ! i can’t go down the lobby wearing my pantulog outfit kasi sobrang nipis like people can literally see through ugh

i want to meet up with them asap but i would never dare go out without undies. i think sop got mad kasi she’s been telling me to sTiLL gO dOwN eh i can’t nga. for sure, i’ll just be so annoyed and cranky if i went down wearing just my pantulog 

[no-stalgicsoul]

12.12.18

so, i went to my friend’s apartment and asked for the wifi password

“blowjob mo muna ko”

my eyes got so wide and i asked, “what the fuck?”

“that’s the password, gaga!”

uhm, good morning

[no-stalgicsoul]

it’s 3 am and i’m munching over fried chicken and rice that our dorm manager gave to dormers for free (christmas party free foods). anw, i tweeted about wanting to drink because i’m so bored but i chickened out when someone invited me over haha 

i should have gone and drank some alcohol ugh i feel so lonely. send beer asap

[no-stalgicsoul]

there’s a christmas party at my dorm’s lobby right now and because i’m an introverted hoe, i’m all cuddled with my blanket inside my room without any intention of going out to participate with all the usual party games hikhok

[no-stalgicsoul]

our campus wifi is not working the way it should and it makes me so mad because i still need to download lecture slides from our food fermentation fb group huhu i have finals!!! today!!! few hours from now!!! so, i’m just practically skimming through my own lecture notes na di naman complete ang info 

tumblr is the sole site that loads among all the sites that i’ve tried lol idk why? ?? ? pls explain this, uplb wifi. nag-scroll na lang ako sa dashboard to prevent myself from dozing off because studying pathways is really boring, my dudes. anyway, my roomie barged inside our room exactly at the right moment na may porn sa dash,,, I AM-

[no-stalgicsoul]

i really don’t know what’s going on but uplb wifi won’t load facebook and twitter but tumblr is ok ? ??? ?

[no-stalgicsoul]

i don’t know where to get any motivation tonight hnghghgdhsghgd i still need to study for my 8 am exam but i also need to finish a ppt presentation for tomorrow ! !! !

anyway, up did not win today sa game two versus admu pero panalo pa rin gdl brothers sa puso ko. ok, ‘yun lang naman i’ll go back to studying na sksksksksk

[no-stalgicsoul]

they’ll remove posts with adult content chz ᶜʰᵃʳᵒᵗ 

[purplebuddhaquotes]

I was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it — to be fed so much love I couldn’t take any more. Just once.

Haruki Murakami

[no-stalgicsoul]

story time: semi-spontaneous tagaytay with my college squad

one tuesday night, after a very stressful day, i went to grab some ice cream at 7/11 grove with hazel and roni. hazel and i were supposed to attend a general assembly (ga) for our org but we ended up not going because 1. we were both too tired and 2. we just wanted to chill after the hell day. we talked about how our day went over ice creams and gummy yoghurts. 

“gusto ko mag-baguio!!!! just want to get away from elbi and acads,” i blurted.

“tagaytay na lang mas malapit. tara g, tonight?” roni uttered in return.

grabe, sobrang nabigla ako! of course, i said no because i had a presentation to finish and an exam the next day but both of them offered to help me with the ppt just so i’d come. they even called jal already and asked him if he’s g as well. i didn’t have a late night/overnight permit from my dormitory so instant first violation if ever (but that would have been ok since 4 violations pa naman before non-renewal hahahahaha)! i thanked the heavens when jal said that he’s not free that night and so, we resched it on thurs that same week. i did all my acads asap just so i wouldn’t have anything to think about in the next days that came.

we (me, jal, roni, hazel, pola, pamy, pat, drew, jill,and j) have this gc on fb titled ‘Best Prof’ which was named as such because we always used the most terror prof of the sem’s photo as the display photo lol. anyway, jill can’t bring a car kasi may kasalanan siya sa mom niya so it was only jal’s car that we can use. since only 5 people can  fit his civic we decided to just include the singletons (me, jal, pola, roni, and hazel) only ! !! ! singles night out! magsama-sama kayong may mga jowa, charing. drew is a singleton as well but he’s on a vacation sa canada so, yup ‘di siya kasama hehe. 

anyway, i’m hoping that we get to spend time together before we graduate from college. sana complete na rin kaming lahat. drew would be coming home next month and jill probably can bring a car by then so, we’ll see. pola and i are actually planning already to go to the night sky cinema at nuvali na lang! i’m really hoping that we’ll be able to go.

[no-stalgicsoul]

a few days from now i might cringe while reading this

so here it goes, i want lambing or let’s say an official jowa but i always chicken out when given the chance ! !! !

tbh, i sometimes get sick of being single! almost four years in college and i did not date anyone, imagine. gusto ko rin naman ng long term na seryosong relationship because hello, i am not getting any younger pero wala talaga. it’s not that i don’t get approached or asked out pero ‘di ko kasi sila feel? ??? ? kapag naman a guy that i think is ‘ok’ tries to approach me, i legit chicken out! for instance, i ended up just ‘like reacting’ on a upm guy’s last message to me lol? (we have a common denominator nung guy & i know he’s not going to fool around ! !! hahaha he’s a brod kasi). i think ayoko rin siguro ng jowang orgmate/brod that’s why hmmm. anyway, few guys from campus are messaging me, as well, but i always end up either not replying or not opening their messages because i don’t find them sincere! 

i also blame myself for having ultra high standards like ugh why do i keep liking on guys that i don’t have a chance with?

i think i’ll be single for the rest of my college life. pero, i want to hold hands with someone din naman while walking at fpark. i want to do what couples do as well! 

[blushie]