Dark Necessities @noacentineo - Tumblr Blog

i am so aware of it, you honestly wouldn't believe how many times i've heard it. is there still hope? i don't know about that, you didn't hold up your end of the bargain. do tell me about all of your attempts to reach out though, so i at least know that you're trying

noacentineo

trust me, it's not a bad thing to look like your mom. i think i speak for every guy on planet earth when i tell you that we're all extremely grateful that your mom duped slash did a copy/paste. i mean there's always hope? you can't blame me for pepsi being slow on replies.

#*// threads featuring ⸺ kaia gerber.

shawnmcnds

...yeah, i'm not sure i need to know the taste of that. in fact, i'm fairly positive i don't. i'm more than happy with my hungarian... meat? okay, that sounded incredibly wrong. i'm in love with my hungarian goddess, let's leave it at that. dude, you definitely cannot measure up to nick jonas. i'm sorry, but their fanbase would crush you for even saying that. ha, i'm pretty sure no one wanted to get with dave... and personally, i'm more of a theodore fan myself. please noah, do not confuse your gibberish for words of wisdom.

noacentineo

don't knock it til you try it. who knows, it might just be your favorite kind of meat. dude, you're major whipped so lemme ask you this real quick; do you run everything past your lady? do you plan on inviting her to guys events? do you have shared email address, shawnandbarbara@ yahoo.com? pda? matching tattoos? so i'm not better than nick jonas? well fuck me sideways here i thought i had serious game. it's okay, i'm trying out to become the fourth more handsome jonas brother, anyways. why am i not surprised that theodore's your favourite? i'm like shakespeare, yo.

#*// threads featuring ⸺ shawn mendes.

ramirezcierra

you could say that. it's not that i'm against people having or being in relationships. what i'm against is people acting like it's their be-all-end-all, when life's about a lot more than who you're currently dating. i'm good without the holy water, angel. i much prefer the flames of hell, to the boring afterlife in paradise. the fact that you're envious of their icky vibes, that says a lot about you, babe. how's your dating life then? anywhere near reaching your goal of being linked up to some chick for the rest of your life?

noacentineo

ramirez, i say this with shit ton of love, but you need to get laid. talking that kind of shit about their relationship will eventually get you in trouble, and i've seen what their union can do. but for real, who are you to judge their relationship? as far as i'm concerned there are no rules. - either it works out or it turns into disaster. icky vibes? so tell me, who do you got pining after you? if you do, it can't be because of your sparkling personality. what does it say about me then? that i'm committed? when the fuck has that ever been a bad thing?

#*// threads featuring ⸺ cierra ramirez.

codvchristian

boy, we been broken up, since you've been two-timing me. private: we already know you've been spending your time pining for kristine. dacre and i are starting to feel left out.

noacentineo

whoa whoa whoa... whoa.. i've been two-timing you? that's a fucking joke. private: i have. - but that doesn't stop me from crying a river. tell dacre that i'm available when we get back to LA.

#*// threads featuring ⸺ cody christian.

noahcentineo: next time your girlfriend is angry, drape a towel over her shoulder, like a cape, and say 'now you're super angry'. maybe she'll laugh, maybe you'll die.

#*// tweet tweet ⸺ twitter.

shawnmcnds

i have, and i would date you if i played for the other team. but i feel like gigi's still out of your league - it's got nothing to do with looks, but she just seems too cool for anyone. um, do you actually have standards though, my man? i feel like you'd be down to get with any hot chick. i plan on being a home-cooked meal kind of boyfriend although that statement is offensive to hot dogs. i don't mind a good hot dog every now and then, frankly.

noacentineo

that's only because you haven't tried home cooked italian meat. dude, she went with one of the jonas brothers - pretty sure i can match that and then some. why lick a hobbit when you can get with a wizard. why go after alvin when you can get with dave. no - no i don't not have standards, but i'd like to think i do. offensive to hot dogs? did you just overanalyze my words of wisdom?

#he's fifty shades of done with barb and shawn

kaia-gerbcr

every single one? you've got a better imagination than that! she actually is cool as hell most of the time, i can acknowledge that. yeah, you work your magic, we'll see how it turns out. how much power do you really hold in the twitter-verse? time will tell.

noacentineo

but did you know that you're a spitting image of your mom? must have heard that a lot now that i think about it. so far i haven't been able to reach out to pepsi, but there's still hope. apparently not a lot.

#its been 84 years....#dont look at me #*// threads featuring ⸺ kaia gerber.

codvchristian

wait... your agent said that too? honestly it just got me more girls sliding in my dm's and i was perfectly good with that. hold up... you? the king of emojis? prove it. my pretty little liar mouth is perfectly content not being shut, thankyouverymuch. so yes... i will most certainly continue to try and cockblock you. you can't just say shit and expect to get away with it, hombre.

noacentineo

yours did too? did both of our agents block us from sending nudes? fucking cancel culture.. so many honey's deprived of the visuals. just more girls sliding in my dm's pfft get the fuck outta here. who the fuck brags about dm's? 70 percent are straight up catfish, just some forty year old dude sitting in his moms basement with a laptop on his balls. right blood in, blood out. you just try.

#*// threads featuring ⸺ cody christian.

kristinc

i just have very little faith in the possibility that you won't be continuously whipping your junk out at random. i'll need a blindfold on around you to make sure that image won't eventually get seared into my memory forever. maybe if you take your shirt off and keep your mouth closed, there'll be a night when my inhibitions are lowered enough to say yes to sleeping with you.

noacentineo

i can't promise that such incident wont take place as it strictly depends on the mood in the room. so that's a definite no on getting junk in the trunk? all jokes aside, i don't think you need to worry about my dick being visible. i'm all for womens rights and shit, plus i can't have yet another penis disaster on my conscience. mutual consent 101.

#*// threads featuring ⸺ kristine froseth.

i can't help but notice that you haven't responded individually to each of the carefully curated memes that i've sent you today. are we breaking up? / @codvchristian

#*// threads featuring ⸺ cody christian.

kcneti

i haven't heard from you all day. why is that? have you recovered from your hangover yet? wake up! @noacentineo

noacentineo

if you miss me so much then why don't you come "snuggle" with me? we could watch a movie and ride through this nearly death hangover together.

#*// threads featuring ⸺ kj apa.

codvchristian

... you just said it, bro. the whole world has seen both our dicks, so i think we should be good in the 'not getting cockblocked' department. but i'm going to do my best to ruin your cannes experience for that irrelevant comment. jeez, you're so old school. emojis is where it's at, homeboy.

noacentineo

can't say that it had a huge impact on my personal affairs, so that's a start. maybe it wasn't such a big deal as my agent made it out to be. dude, just because you're fucking a fairy doesn't mean you get permission to cockblock me. fuck outta here. i'm the emoji king, ese. shut your pretty little liar mouth.

#*// threads featuring ⸺ cody christian.

kristinc

i absolutely do not want to see your dick again, please put that thing away when we're together. so you're this confident you're gonna get lucky during cannes, huh? you're not even going to ask me out, buy me a couple drinks before trying to get in my pants again? smooth, centineo, very smooth.

noacentineo

what's so terrible about seeing my dick, kris? how about we cross that bridge when we get to it instead of being in a constant fear of me whipping it out. why shouldn't i get lucky in cannes? i'm literally sleeping in the same room as you, so there's still hope.

#*// threads featuring ⸺ kristine froseth.

ramirezcierra

let me chime in on this for a sec, babe... 'cause i've got oh-pin-ions! first and foremost... it's not enough that they have their little "happily ever after" going on, but they broadcast it like it's the fucking news and the world does not need the toothache from the sweetness overload. secondly their whole moving in together after a second of dating... it's like instead of u-haul lesbians, it's u-haul sharbara. in my humble opinion it's a dumpster fire waiting to happen, and i'll be on the sidelines when it happens, with shades on and a bucket of popcorn. now that that's out of my system... how're you doing, sweetness? it's been a hot minute.

noacentineo

.......... i assume you're not a big fan of them? do you feel better? want me to sprinkle you with holy water or some shit, satan? i don't necessarily enjoy their cuteness overload, but that's more because i'm lowkey envy of them - green as a goblin.