School Flunkie//Pill Junkie

Maybe I should cry for help... maybe I should kill myself... or blame it on my ADD

[noah-tamm]

[noah-tamm]

Shut your mouth, baby, stand and deliver Holy hands, will they make me a sinner? Like a river, like a river Shut your mouth and run me like a river Choke this love 'til the veins start to shiver One last breath 'til the tears start to wither @findingxxfaith

[noah-tamm]

Choke this Love till yr veins start to SHIVER

findingxxfaith

“I didn’t mean to just show up. I’m being watched like a hawk.” She looked up at  him and relief washed over her. She was glad to see he was doing okay. “I just had to know that you…that you’re safe.” She looked around and brushed her hair over her shoulder “I’m not exactly sure I should be here.”

She took one step up towards him and kept her eyes upward on his. “I just had this feeling that you wanted to see me as much as I wanted to see you.”

She wanted to jump into his arms and hold onto him, but things were different now. Everything was different. Instinctively she wanted to hold her stomach and start crying. She wanted to tell him everything, but at the same time she was just happy to see him and didn’t want to spoil it.

Like a hawk? That was concerning. Obviously there’d be someone after her if she was a runaway and a ward of state, but since Noah didn’t actually know Faith’s birthday, he wasn’t sure the latter was true.  He’d inquire later about what she meant.  Emotions - more surprise than anything else - flooded through him, immensely overpowering both the concern and curiosity as to what exactly she meant. He took a quick look around the trailer and winced; it wasn’t as tidy as he would’ve wanted it before inviting anyone, girls in particular, in.  Furrowing his brow at Faith’s concern for his safety while he tried to read her face as best he could, Noah stammered before he spoke: her expression did seem to match her words.

“Wuh.. wuh-well...you know, I’m a big boy, Kiddo, I can take care of myself.”

... as if she hadn’t thrown herself between him and his bully at school at least a handful of times.  “Oheynow... why would you be so worried about me?”  Lately he’d gone silent on both twitter and facebook, so this was actually pretty understandable.  But he would’ve answered texts, if he’d gotten any. Then again:

“Awe... fuck me backwards... I changed my goddamn number, didn’t I?”  Did he sound all that sorry?  Not really.  Was he sorry?  Sure, a little... but Noah had intended on letting her know; he just never got around to the incredibly simple task of texting Faith the new number.  “Oops.”

A gust of chilly November wind reminded him of how cold it was outside.  Noah opened the door the rest of the way and stood against it, gesturing for Faith to come in . “Flattered, yo.  I’m glad you’re safe too.”

“Look... I’m really, like, super sorry I didn’t text you with my new number...  honest!” The nonchalance in his voice didn’t exactly suggest that the two had been kind of brutally torn apart the way they had.  But he wasn’t lying.  

“... would you believe me if I told you I actually did miss you?”  He said this softly, hoping to sound genuine, like he wasn’t brushing off her feelings. There were reasons as to why he’d cut off contact, but they weren’t good reasons.

[noah-tamm]

Choke this Love till yr veins start to SHIVER

This ugly little car had gotten her from point A to point B, but now she felt it all hit her at once. She had become a completely slave to her emotions at this point. As she felt it welling up inside her, she placed her hand on her stomach and felt the tear dropped cascade on to her hand until he had become overwhelming. Before she knew it, it had taken over and he chest was heaving while she sobbed loudly. The weight of everything resting on her shoulder while she thought about the night all over again.

It took her a moment to get herself together and she stopped crying. Catching her breath and picked up her vape pen and took a drag from it. She wasn’t really a smoker before but since she no longer was carrying a life inside her, what did it really matter. Checking how much was left in her THC cart before placing it back in her center console. She stepped out of the car and took a second before closing her door, very quietly and making her way toward the front door. Pausing for a moment to think she should turn around and leave now. Shaking those thought off she knocked on the door loudly and waited patiently for someone to answer. “Hi.”

Noah was expecting nothing and no one.  Who was knocking?  Some rando neighbor? The mailman, who usually simply slid all the mail through the slot on the door?  Whomever it was, they wanted someone to answer.  He was the only one home, so he rolled off the couch and trudged towards the door.

Fiddling for a second or two, Noah answered vocally before he got the thing open.  “HI!”.  When the thing finally flung open, he stumbled backwards.

“Faith?!”

[noah-tamm]

[noah-tamm]

Choke this Love till yr veins start to SHIVER

Laying on his back, tossing a potato in the air with one hand, catching it with the other, transfer hands and repeating ad nauseum, Noah kept his eyes on it... waiting for some *feeling* to hit him, other than emptiness, numbness... bullshit.

His who life was ahead of him!  So why the fuck did he feel such a lack of feeling.  Despair would be better than nothing... right? “Mom” gave him no feelings, no affection, no real feelings of ‘welcome’, of ‘remorse’, nothing that made Noah in any way “happy” to’ve shown up on her doorstep.  In the past, empathy got him a long way with girls, but he’d now graduated ‘high school’ (big whop!) and had yet to start working.  Which means, he’d yet to use what limited cards he had to play. So the potato circled above Noah, cyclical in it’s pointless recurrence... not so different from Noah’s current feeling.

[noah-tamm]

[noah-tamm]

Friend: so what are your plans for the future?

Me: drugs mostly

[rainvisions]

[smokehopesandreams]

[loseranthems]

y’know mikey, i miss the midwest

[fuckyeahvintage-retro]

[mydraco]

[chara-aesthetics-inspo]

[noah-tamm]

To Solidify That Backbone || Noah & Kieran

[noah-tamm]

swampsins:

He’s tempted to show Noah the look of disbelief that clouded his face for a split-second, but, instead, he turns to face his new roommate with a blank look. In his eyes, the exasperation is evident. “Let’s get this done,” Kieran says, his tone much more imperative than imploring. He’s aware of how much of a pushover Noah can be, and plans to take full advantage of that, especially when it comes to tasks around their place.

When he turns back to the front door, the nineteen-year-old rolls his eyes, refraining from shaking his head in case the other sees it. Grabbing his keys from the coat rack, Kieran shoves them into his jacket pocket and starts to make his way out, waving for Noah to follow. “We can go for a walk after.”

“Yeah, okay.”  Noah takes an unintentionally conspicuous, very nervous glance at his phone, which sits dead on the coffee table, somehow still threatening to explode.

With the two of them, the task of unloading Noah’s sedan takes virtually no time, especially since Noah perceives the size of the load Kieran piles onto his haul as some kind of challenge ((I don’t mean to god-mod, I mean, this is just Noah’s perception, but I figured it’s safe to assume Kieran would grab as much as possible, since that’s what everyone does???)), and Noah intends to compete... if only to finish clearing out the car as quickly as possible.  His own load is strenuous, but he makes it, lingering back a few paces, allowing Kieran to drop his possessions first so that Noah could arrange the unpacked boxes neatly in the corner his peer had chosen ((what floor does Kieran live on? Is it a studio or a 1 bedroom??)). 

Not actively wanting to inquire about the other’s phone and the possible likely barrage of texts piling up on it and waiting for one of them to respond, Noah hides his apprehension when he speaks.  “You know, I gotta turn that phone back on... Michaela isn’t the only one who calls.”

“Not talking about The Reverend, either... there’s, you know... customers.  And As in, the people who’ll be paying our rent.”

[noah-tamm]

To Solidify That Backbone || Noah & Kieran

[noah-tamm]

swampsins:

Kieran shrugs. A hit he can take. Hell, he can take a dozen, as long as it means that she’ll ((who?)) be satisfied enough to calm the fuck down and leave them alone, even if it’s only for a few days. Hopefully this time they’ll get lucky and it’ll be a few weeks. The young offender remains silent. His time spent in jail pulled him from one pole to the other; while he was once too enthusiastic to fight for his own good, now he’s deflated, as though the last punch he sent was the pin that let the air hiss out of the balloon that was his inflated temper.

“Come on,” Kieran stands, smacking his hands lightly against the rough denim of his jeans to wipe the thin sheen of sweat away, “we’ve still got shit to move.

((”She” is some offscreen character I made up [unless you’ve got a muse who would fit].  Here’s what we know so far:

They’ve known each other since middle school [8 years] and they’re around the same age [19/20]

Noah’s been supplying her since he started selling 2 years ago

She’s now out of control [with drugs]

She takes advantage [he’s a fucking pushover, Kieran would kno that]

That’s okay ‘cause he’s got no self esteem

He’s held off on giving her drugs lately, but he’s still been giving her $

Last time he did so, this girl’s mom dialed him with her phone to yell at him, calling him her enabler

Which means her mom is at her wit’s end and this girl’s support system is crumbling

She hits people, or @ least she hits Noah and has once+ hit Kieran

Unless you’ve got a muse who fits, I think I’ll name her Michaela

Does she have Kieran’s #?? If so she may call that phone.))

“Yeah.  Okay.”  As much as he sounds reassured, Noah’s not; this girl is a fucking junkie who knows how to get her way.

Nonetheless, he gets up and follows Kieran out of the apartment.  The remnants of the shit he chose not to scrap all fit in the trunk and backseat of his sedan; most of his and ((Old, Dead Roommate; we’ll call him)) Owen’s things are now at the dump.  The old place is empty, and Noah even paid his baby sister to do a more thorough job of cleaning, wall to wall and floor to ceiling, seeing as Noah found his subletters on Craigslist, hasn’t me them and doesn’t want to be rude about it.  As long as they leave their new place in the condition they found it, they can keep his deposit; he doesn’t give a shit.

"Hey, the sun is out for a while.  No one wants to steal this shit; wanna just go for a walk, or something?" Disregarding his desire to fuck off to SleepLand, where there’s nothing to worry about at all, Noah figures fucking off to somewhere besides the most obvious place for her to find them - that being Kieran’s apartment - seems like a decent suggestion.

[noah-tamm]