Hearing him finally say her name kept her put, finally thinking answers were on the way. Half way through the explanation she watched all the color fade from his face. Suddenly he wasn’t making any sense. They’d both change, that part was obvious. Ten years would do that, but she didn’t have time to say that because he was leading her inside by the hand. It reminded her of old times, when she’d take him by the hand and drag him along to whatever nonsense she was about to do. Lienna watched the customers file out, none aware of the tense situation brewing. Just like that, he let go and crossed the room to close the shop, hardly looking her way.
In that moment, she caught his scent. All of it made sense now, his reaction outside the shop. He’d figured it out way before she had. All she could do was look down at her shoes, though she was listening. “It’s hard to keep someone safe when you’re not there.” she mumbled back, clearly still hurt by his decision to leave. There was an appeal to run and leave everyone behind, but she just couldn’t do that to her father and loved ones. Leave them wondering and worrying what happened to her. She couldn’t do what he did to his family and her. Lienna finally lifted her gaze at his question. One she wasn’t so inclined to answer at the moment. It wasn’t her right now that should be answering questions.
“Year and a half.” she answered while she crossed her arms over her chest, not elaborating any. Noah didn’t get to get off that easy. “You want to know more, you’re going to have to fill me in on what happened.” she added sternly, clearly not willing to budge. “You were bitten, so you decided to leave without saying anything? No goodbye, no note, not telling anyone you were okay. Really Noah, why? Why!? I want to understand, but I don’t.”
He’d told this story a handful of times but none of that would compare to this moment when he’d have to tell it to someone from his actual past . He took a deep breath in an effort to compose himself and remain his usual stoic self , but how could he ? This was Lienna , a girl he’d grown up with and had held so many emotions for all these years. ❛ I was TERRIFIED , okay ?! ❜ He pressed his lips together and turned around to look at her ever so slowly . ❛ Do you think it was easy for me to get up and walk away ? Do you think I haven’t thought about what I did every single damn day since I’ve been gone ? Do you think my decisions haven’t eaten me up inside ? ❜ Noah’s desperation for her to understand was starting to shine through .
❛ I would never have forgiven myself if I shifted and killed any of you . I was eighteen years old , Li , and I was thrown into this kind of life . ❜ His hands were clenched at his sides now , body shaking slightly from the anxiety of it all . ❛ What could I have said ?! I knew if I tried to talk about this then all of you would convince me to stay and I just ... I couldn’t ! ❜ He walked over to the counter and grabbed onto the edges so tight his knuckles turned white , then he proceeded to slam his fist down on top of it enough to slightly crack the glass . ❛ I carried this burden around so none of you had to . ❜ Noah said more so to himself than Lienna , he always tried to justify his actions and insist it was for a greater good . Was he a bad guy , or was he just a pariah ?
Looking down at the cracked glass , he frowned deeply and turned around again to look at the girl . ❛ I’m sorry if that’s not the answer you’re looking for , but it’s all I have . ❜