ROCK OUT

[beabot3000-blog]

Top secret, it’s against my contract to get into specifics, but to somewhat answer your question, I am done aging, yes. No, it’s because you’re arrogant and rude, which I find to be entirely unattractive. Although, I believe what you’re referring to is commonly known as a vibrator, and I already have one of my own. 

[noahpuckermaniac]

So the government made you? You should have someone else check out that system of yours. They prolly got you programmed to do all sort of secret missions that you don’t know about. I mean, I’m still freaking hot though. So you sleep with normal dudes or just your vibrator and the terminator?

[beabot3000-blog]

…Well yes, that’s always been true, but now I can go twice as long without charging my battery. Which is useful. Luckily for all parties involved, I don’t want your anaconda.

[noahpuckermaniac]

No shit? That’s crazy. How’s that even work? You always gonna look just like you do now even when everyone you know is getting all old and dying or whatever? Cause I ain’t got a robot dick, huh?

[beabot3000-blog]

No, you weren’t right. My upgrade had little to do with my computer system, it was a simple battery replacement. But please, by all means, think whatever you’d like. …Do you prefer a different sort of pun, then? I thought everyone loved puns.

[noahpuckermaniac]

I planned on it. So you gonna live forever now? My anaconda don’t want none if you’ve got puns, hun.

[noahpuckermaniac]

@thaliapuckerman: @puckermaniac leaving is leaving

@puckermaniac: @thaliapuckerman so we can only be cool if i follow you around everywhere?

[beabot3000-blog]

Just because you failed to appreciate my sense of humor, doesn’t mean I didn’t have one before. Just ask my siblings, everyone knows I adore marine biology puns. However, I actually did get an upgrade recently, so I’ll take that as a compliment.

[noahpuckermaniac]

Psh, all I’m hearing is that I’m right. Knew it. I’ll let you and your family keep up with those dork puns. That ain’t really my thing.

[noahpuckermaniac]

@thaliapuckerman: @puckermaniac You'll leave eventually which is the only thing I need to protect myself from.

@puckermaniac: @thaliapuckerman i wouldn't. not without texting or whatever. wouldn't just bail.

[beabot3000-blog]

I wasn’t a cyborg when I was still in active duty, but technically speaking now, water exposure longer than 30 minutes would short circuit my system, yes. I do tend to avoid that, as I’m a bit too big to toss in a bowl of rice.

[noahpuckermaniac]

Was that an actual joke? Lovin the program upgrade. 

[beabot3000-blog]

A lot of bad things are happening currently, so if anyone needs a night time escort, please feel free to contact me. While I understand that not everyone is comfortable carrying a weapon or six, I come full equipped, which is generally enough to scare off most attackers. And if not, I’m an excellent shot. 

If the current state of our country has you feeling down, as it does me, please remember that 50% of the United States is under water. So it’s not all bad. Days like these, I miss living in a submarine. 

[noahpuckermaniac]

All that water don’t short circuit you or nothin?

[noahpuckermaniac]

@thaliapuckerman: @puckermaniac you and any other puckerman that comes in my life

@puckermaniac: @thaliapuckerman I wouldn't ever do nothing that you'd have to protect yourself from or whatever

[noahpuckermaniac]

@thaliapuckerman: @puckermaniac I'm doing what I need to do to protect myself.

@puckermaniac: @thaliapuckerman from me?

[noahpuckermaniac]

TEXT 😈 PUCK AND ROSE

ROSE: And yet I already did??

ROSE: maybe another time

PUCK: Always playin. I'm busy anyway.

[noahpuckermaniac]

@thaliapuckerman: @puckermaniac I am cool, duh.

@puckermaniac: @thaliapuckerman you ain't been cool to me.

[noahpuckermaniac]

TEXT 😈 PUCK AND ROSE

ROSE: Eh.

PUCK: don't eh me.

[noahpuckermaniac]

TEXT 😈 PUCK AND ROSE

ROSE: He's bendy.

PUCK: I bend in all the right ways. Lemme show you again.

[noahpuckermaniac]

@thaliapuckerman: @puckermaniac shows how little you know me. i'm like this with 99.9% of people

@puckermaniac: @thaliapuckerman then how come people tell me that you're cool?

[noahpuckermaniac]

@thaliapuckerman: @puckermaniac bonding with you is thrilling

@puckermaniac: @thaliapuckerman why you always giving me shit? you ain't like this to no one else.

[noahpuckermaniac]

TEXT 😈 PUCK AND ROSE

ROSE: the literal moment i decided to try i had you in my bed an hour later. TBT to when i implied you owing me a favor and the first text you sent included the term 'sex slave'

ROSE: Stavros. You met him when we were in Greece, actually. My dad's youngest security guard? The wavy hair?

PUCK: I was helping you out with that brilliant idea. You're welcome.

PUCK: That guy? Psh, I'm way better. What can he do that I can't do?