Lemony Snicket/Daniel Handler sentence starters
“This obituary is filled with errors - most importantly - I AM NOT DEAD!“
“The world is quiet here.”
“Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.”
“Our love broke my heart…and stopped yours.”
“PLEASE READ SOMETHING ELSE.”
“I have a long list of things I’d rather not do.”
“I was in deep denial, and I’m not talking about a river in Egypt.“
“Could it be that our ______ is unreliable?”
“Siblings that say they never fight are most definitely hiding something.”
“…and that’s why we broke up.”
“The thing with your heart’s desire is that your heart doesn’t even know what it desires until it turns up.”
“When we were together I felt breathless. Now you are.”
“S/he gave me a hug and for a second I was embraced by a body that makes me want to go home and never eat again.”
“Sometimes words are not enough.”
“Everyone tells you it’s all right to cry, but not enough people say it’s all right if you don’t want people to know.”
“There is no easy way to train an apprentice. My two tools are example and nagging.”
“But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.”
“You, meanwhile, are often dressed like a slob, and spend your days serving coleslaw.”
“Imagining the worst doesn’t keep it from happening.”
“Well this isn’t too bad, I don’t have a left arm anymore but at least nobody will ever ask me if I’m left-handed or right-handed.”
“You don’t spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two.”
”When something simple and true takes you by surprise, it hits you in the stomach.”
“It was a curious feeling, that something could be so close and so distant at the same time.”
“Of course you can trust me - we read the same books.”
“You might be afraid of the _____, but the _____ is not afraid of you. That’s why the _____ is always close by.”
“The way sadness works is one of the strangest riddles of the world.”
“Someone can break your heart, leave you dead on the lawn, and still you never learn what to say to stop it all over again. ”
“They say love’s like a bus, and if you wait long enough another one will come along, but not in this place where the buses are slow and most of the cute ones are gay.”
“Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.”
“But somewhere in the world there is a place for all of us.”
“The only thing that made sense of the world was you.”
“Once more, this is love: it rings and you open up…unless it looks like an ax murderer.”
“I want you to love me in particular.”
“I would much prefer it if you were alive and well.”
“Sometimes even in most unfortunate of lives there will occur a moment or two of good.”
“No reality has the power to dispel a dream.”
““Everyone, at some point in their lives, wakes up in the middle of the night with the feeling that they are all alone in the world.”
“It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.”
“Summer without you is colder than Winter, and Winter without you is even colder.”
“’Finders keepers’ is what they say, and I wanted to be kept.”
“Nobody should feel pain all by themselves.”
“We steal the happiness of others in order to be happy ourselves, and when it is stolen from us we voyage desperately to steal it back.”
“He who wants the world must first escape from it.”
“It is a lonely feeling when someone you care about becomes a stranger.”
