Having spoken to a few friends about what caused me to make my last post which you can find here, I’ve come to the decision that I actually should speak out about this incident instead after some recent news. I have appropriately tagged this post with everything that I could think of, and as an extra precaution will be putting the rest of this under a read more. Please understand that I am not only making this post for me, but for everyone that this person has wronged.
The above ask is located on his ouma blog. This is what is causing me to make this post now as I am directly vagued here as are many others. My writing below is my explanation.
For the majority of 2018 I was Komari’s best friend and knew him for a total of nine months. I cut contact with him in November and have focused on my own recovery and happiness ever since. Komari is the most manipulative, toxic, and downright abusive person I have ever had the misfortune to know personally, but I am now in a much happier and healthier spot than I was in November.
I have moved on from tumblr to roleplay in the dangan/ronpa discord oc community instead. While I do want to come back to tumblr at some point to roleplay Sonia and Peko (and maybe more), right now I couldn’t be happier with simply applying my own characters to games, spectating games, and making friends through killing games I do get accepted to. This year has been so very kind to me in so many different ways.
However, my year did not start this way. Because of the abuse I went through I was at one of the lowest points in my life, and I would not have been able to recover as quickly as I have if not for my friends or the ones I’ve gained through discovering how deeply Komari’s abuse really ran.
This post is not a secret. Sin made a post on her blog clearing up lies Komari spread about her. Seeing this unexpected post caused me to have a breakdown to be reminded of him so soon after feeling comfortable enough to return plus coming to terms with that he’s wronged me in more ways than I imagined. He fed me lies that I took as truths and has damaged the reputations of several people who are recovering just as I am to this day.
After speaking to Sin and thanking her for her post even though it hurt to see, I spoke to others that I was under the impression of them being awful people and vice versa. We cleared up all misunderstandings between one another and our healing truly began at that point. I love all of them so, so, so very much and I’m happy to call them friends now.
All of this leads us up to two days ago where I received an unexpected message @/outcastedkiller, someone I have never had regular conversations with. I can’t even remember the last time we had a topic outside of discussing artists to commission/showing off art or some discussions of rwby back when the last season was airing. I have always viewed Goldie as a distant friend/associate and while I enjoyed speaking with her, lately I have been having a hard time ignoring red flags like I used to.
I now have her blocked after the following conversation being unable to push aside my growing concerns any longer:
I will now clarify a few things.
The post she is referencing is the following with a timestamp:
PLEASE LOOK AGAIN AT THE TIME STAMP AND NOTICE THIS POST WAS MADE FOUR MONTHS AGO.
I have since removed this post like I should have a long time ago, but because of my inactivity I forgot to do exactly that. Next, I’m going to show you all my most recent post that I made before coming back today to show how long it’s been since I’ve been active on this blog.
There is absolutely no reason for any of them to have been looking at my blog when I have not been here. He is fully aware of the fact that I cut ties with him and did not want to be associated any longer, and yet he and Goldie found it appropriate to message me about something four months old.
Not ONLY that, but Komari is FULLY aware of my stance when it comes to people trying to contact me after I have blocked them: to ask first through a third party if I would be alright with a message from them, and only after gaining my approval would the conversation begin. Goldie went straight to messaging me without any context, without even spoken in nearly a month let alone months since we spoke about Komari himself, and sent my anxiety spiraling.
Having confirmation that this was Komari’s idea to send me his blogs to block sent me into a complete panic attack. While the gesture may seem innocent on the surface, I must make it clear that this is just another tactic of manipulation and I and several others have seen through it.
I have all of those blogs blocked and MANY more that he has retired for my own comfort ever since I cut contact. Because we were so close, I knew about every single one of those blogs and more that he did not list. I am very efficient when it comes to ensuring my comfort, and that means keeping my block list up to date on literally every one of my blogs. So again, he had no reason to send me his blogs to block. None whatsoever.
I am repeating myself, but there is absolutely no reason to message me about a post I made back four months ago let alone when I am inactive. All this has done is caused me and several others grief to where old wounds have reopened.
I have not seen his apology that an anon on his blog has spoken about. I do not know who sent him that anon and none of my friends do either. None of this concerns me or them and we do not want an apology. We want to be left alone.
He does not have the right to message any of us asking for anything and should refrain from SELFISHLY involving anyone else. If there is one thing I must apologize to Komari for, it’s for calling Sin’s post a callout in my panicked state because I could not find another word for it.
Even if I had read this apology on his blog (which is no longer found on his ouma apparently and is only located on his deep sea prison multi muse blog now) and I had felt an ounce of truth in it, it would have been immediately revoked seeing him vague me and hound others for information.
If there WAS a callout for him, there is no reason to be looking for it as someone reading about a callout on themselves is definitely not the healthiest course of action. Moving from my professional tone for like, five minutes, that’s like the exact opposite of “not wanting to be involved in drama”.
He has shown already that he has not changed at all and no amount of poorly disguised nice “gestures” or words is going to convince those he harmed otherwise. He and Goldie are also blatantly ignoring where I said I meant to delete my post about needing mentions of his tag. This is not a trigger anymore and they should not be insisting that it is.
I DO suggest you to block his blogs if you have made it this far for your own safety and comfort, but that is not a course of action I will make anyone take. I make this post to make things clear as to why this is happening and for my friends who still roleplay here on tumblr. Chances are when I do come back fully, I’m going to remake for a fresh start.
Also, if there ever is a callout made about Komari, I will ABSOLUTELY reblog it everywhere possible because of how dangerous he is.
Thank you for reading.
** also https://kiboumukou.tumblr.com/post/182940204064/kiboumukou-i-usually-avoid-drama-but-someone is the url for the post that started this whole mess if my hyperlink above did not work correctly.
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