december kicked my ass and its not even over yet.

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@nochampions
december kicked my ass and its not even over yet.
in the end, you are always alone in your actions
Honestly the biggest tragedy in dragon age is that i cant have both Marian and Garrett Hawke in the same game.
You know it’s true
* ANGSTY BOJACK HORSEMAN ASK MEMES !
‘ i don’t believe in deep down . i kind of think that all you are is just the things you do . ’
‘ it’s you . you are what is wrong with you . ’
‘ you need to be better . ’
‘ they key to being happy isn’t a search for meaning . it’s to just keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you’ll be dead . ’
‘ it’s so cruel to let people love you . all you’re doing is promising you’ll one day break their hearts . ’
‘ life is a series of closing doors , isn’t it ? ’
‘ you don’t love me , we’re just two lonely people trying to hate ourselves a little less . ’
‘ oh , just imagine how nice things could’ve been . ’
‘ you were born broken , that’s your birthright . ’
‘ you can fill your life with projects , and books , and movies , your little girlfriends . but it won’t make you whole . ’ (feel free to edit/change pronouns)
‘ you’re [INSERT CHARACTER NAME] . there’s no cure for that . ’
‘ every day it gets a little easier . but you gotta do it every day , that’s the hard part . but it does get easier . ’
‘ when i’m with you , i don’t hate myself . ’
‘ nobody ever wants to hear the truth . ’
‘ it takes a long time to recognise how truly miserable you are , even longer to see it doesn’t have to be that way . ’
‘ when you look at someone through rose - coloured glasses , all the red flags just look like flags . ’
‘ closure is a made up thing . ’
‘ am i just doomed to be who i am ? ‘
‘ tell me i’m good . ’
‘ you make me too sad . ’
‘ that voice … the one that tells you you’re worthless , and stupid , and ugly , it goes away right ? ’
‘ love does things to people . terrible things . ’
‘ i see you . ’
feel free to reblog / add more .
;; oh, brother
There’s a multitude of mistakes he has made in his lifetime. Coming home, he hopes, won’t be one. When he’d left a decade prior, Garrett had acted in anger and pain, hadn’t realized just how vast the world was. Hadn’t realized how many chances he would miss, how big his shortcomings would grow.
Gamlen’s home was a hovel. Kirkwall a cesspool. The long days stretched into weeks as he waits for his brothers to come home. Garrett spends more evening than he should at the docks, staring out over the water, the vial with Bethany’s ashes clutched tight in his hand. He should be there, with his mother, but after a life spend moving, it’s hard to sit still. Harder to wait.
He isn’t there when he should be. He never is. As Garrett walks back to Lowtown, rounds the corner to the place he’s trying to call home, he hears the grief long before he sees it. His mother’s wail is piercing through the open door, and Garrett’s steps still as he rounds the stairs.
“My baby boy!” Leandra shrieks, curled on her knees. Garrett moves mechanically to the doorway. “My baby!”
“What’s going on?” Garrett asks. It’s a useless question. Gamlen glares over the hunched form of a burly warrior, parts his lips with accusations, but the words don’t touch the air. Garrett cuts him off with a sharp, “Mother? What’s happened?”
me: im going to come back with my original muse and not write any others
me, finding all the people i used to know are still around: HHHH MY DARLINGS LET ME WRITE EVERY MUSE FOR YOU
;; blood of my blood
zaldrizi:
she can still hear their screeches . embedded into her ears , haunting her stone shelled heart . she’s conquered cities , laid waste to armies & watched as the chains were cast off by those who did not want them . this … however , was different . her connection to her children was all she had . the blood of the dragon and she could not save them . protect them . her facade was falling , even as she willed the curtain to remain . keep her eyes dry , scream inside .
the tunnels were dark , no one would see , no one but Grey Worm . but he’d seen so many of her faces now , this one couldn’t be new . heartbreak hadn’t been few & far between but haunting , frequent . to the point one becomes used to it . yet , she equates those screeches of pain to her children , the only ones she’ll have . believing that they were kin , feeling every inch of her twist beneath the cave system .
❛ let him pass , Grey Worm . ❜ how hallow her voice sounded now . ❛ what do you want , Hawke ? I have provided all I can in this effort . ❜
It’s like something essential inside of her had slipped, just slightly, out of place. Now she threatened to topple at any second, like the ancient ruins of this mountain. He barely knows her, but he knows what it’s like to break into pieces. Garrett swallows against the dryness in his throat, a million memories and whispers wrapping around him like an old friend best left forgotten.
The old knight moves at last and Garrett doesn’t bother to spare him a second look. Formidable warrior he might be, but he was nothing more than a dog to this defenseless little woman. Don’t exaggerate, he reminds himself. Defenseless wasn’t entirely accurate. She had a dragon at her beck and call, after all. There was strength under her softness, and Garrett couldn’t afford to doubt her ability to hide and hold a dagger.
Garrett drops himself down next to her, careful to give her enough space. He watches her sidelong, wondering if he really needs to ask what’s on his mind: Why was she so quiet? A few beats pass before Garrett looks into the fire and says, “I know you’re new around here, but that doesn’t mean you're not part of this team. You can tell us your grievances.”
guess who finally installed xkit and can go replies now
open plotting call since i can only write starters until friday.
;; blood of my blood
@zaldrizi
Shadows are longer and darker when its corpses that hide beneath the gloom. But after a long day of culling dragons and executing cultists, their band of misfits falls into easy, relieved chatter, excited for the mysteries beyond. They do not talk of the dragon on the hill, a supposed reincarnation of Andraste herself. Garrett doesn’t mind. He’s never been one for Chantry rhetoric or debates of faith.
What he does mind is the pocket of silence looming at the edge of their group. It’s unsettling. Daenerys might be a new arrival, both to their quest and Thedas as a whole, but in the short few days he’s known her, Garrett hasn’t known her to withhold her opinion.
He goes to the Warden first. Explains his concern, but gets rebuffed: There’s so much prep to do for tomorrow. If he’s so worried, why doesn’t he handle it himself? Well, fine, maybe he will.
Garrett stubbornly refuses to acknowledge the suspicious stare of Daenerys’ ever-present guardian until the man is intercepting his path, preventing him from sitting at the dragon queen’s side. Garrett grunts, "What? Do I need her grace’s permission to proceed?” The sarcasm is needless, but nonetheless potent. His amber gaze slides past what’s-his-name’s shoulder to find hers. “Call off your toy soldier, will you?”
;; offered
cont. from here
Garrett’s armor clinks as he shifts in the silence that follows his friend’s declaration. A few moments more, and he lets out a long, tired sigh. “This is the problem with your blighted nation,” Garrett grouses, amber eyes flaring in the light from their fire. “Always going on about wrong and right, like anyone knows better than anyone else.” A huff.
“You’re going to have to live with your decision,” Garrett says, twisting to stare him down. It’s not that Alistair was wrong to do what he did. There’s a certain justice in freeing those mages of the demonic influences ruling over them. But wasn’t there a better way? Soft whispers swirl through his mind, promising him the secrets of the world for the smallest shred of his soul: No. Garrett claps Alistair heavily on the shoulder.
“Just do better next time.”
tldr; this is a trash website.
;; wingman
cont. from here
Damn. She was mad. Garrett wastes the first five seconds of his precious thirty trying to figure out what to say next; honestly, he’d thought he would have to kick down her door to get her to talk to him. Having Nimia actually answer the phone wasn’t something he’d prepared for.
“--uh,” Garrett stutters uselessly. “Well, uh, see-- Alright, so I’m pretty sure I fucked up your chances with what’s-his-face. But I can make it up to you? Apology breakfast? I’ll cook and everything.”
Michiel Huisman as Dawsey Adams in The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (2018) dir. Mike Newell