= can't take my heart =

And for so long I've lived my life listening to the wolves, looking for scraps to tear from me till I lose control

[nocory]

oksebastians:

Sebastian didn’t even realize someone else was in the room until Cory had already been speaking and he realized words were being directed at him. “What?” He asked groggily with his arm still draped over his face. He figured she’d do what she always did and after realizing it was him, leave him be and go back to bed. But instead she kept talking to him, and he was finding it difficult to focus on what she was saying. Finally, he moved his arm away from face, squinting at the bright light. “What are you talking about?” He questioned again, moving his head to look at her. He was very out of it and disoriented, but after a few moments, he realized Cory had told him to leave. She had never asked him to leave - no matter what state he showed up in, she had never turned him away. She knew better than anyone that if he wasn’t here, he’d be out in the cold. 

He didn’t answer her for a few long minutes, but then he just turned away from her and draped his arm back over his face. “I’ll be gone in the morning,” Seb muttered under his breath. He didn’t take Cory as serious, because he didn’t think she was. This was the one place he saw as safe, as somewhere he was always welcome and could go to when he was in need, like right now. “Go back to bed, Cor, I’m good.” When he was sober and fully functioning, he knew he was taking advantage of the one person he had to care about him. He knew he shouldn’t be acting this way, and showing up at her house in the middle of the night like this. But Seb was never able to listen to the rational side of him for very long, and he couldn’t bring himself to ever treat Cory how she deserved to be treated. Instead he showed up like this and left before he could have a real conversation with her, and that was it. 

Cory has never tried kicking Sebastian out of her house before, and for a moment as she sat in silence after he told her to go back to bed, she almost listened to him. But then she remembered Jackson and how he woke her up, frightened. How there were countless other nights that he’s disturbed their family in the middle of the night and how she didn’t want this around her brother. “No,” she said with a shake of her head. It almost pained her to say that word, but she also felt a little liberated. “I can’t have this around the kids anymore.” Sebastian was her best friend, he was apart of this family too, but... she had to put her foot down at some point and she felt that it was long over due. Taking a couple of more steps towards him, she grabbed at his sleeve and tugged gently. “Get up, Seb.” She sighed loudly before adding, “You can’t be here tonight. ”  Taking a step back, she crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes were glued to the ground. “And don’t pretend like you don’t understand why.” Neither of them had good parents and he knew what hers were like, and yet it just seemed like he didn’t care. Cory just hoped that he wouldn’t be too mad at her, she loved him and this was the last thing she wanted to do to him because she knew that he didn’t have any other option than her couch and that’s why it pained her the most.

[nocory]

oksebastians:

When Sebastian was high and/or drunk, and wasn’t heading off to someone’s bed to end the night, he always went to the one person that he knew would give him a place to a sleep. He tried not to go to Cory’s often, but lately it had felt like he’s been there every night, always high out of his mind, always depending on Cory. When he first started dong this, he swore that he wasn’t going to take advantage of her generosity, but here he was, months later, doing exactly that. He never really stayed sober long enough to realize it, though. Cory was just the one solid person in his life, the one that he knew he’d always have, and most days, that’s what he needed the most. It was late at this point, which wasn’t unusual. He always showed up in the middle of the night and slept off his high, usually well into the next day before leaving to do it all over again.

Seb let himself into the house as always - he couldn’t even remember the last time he had knocked or asked her politely if he could crash on her couch, he just assumed he could. Tonight he wasn’t just high though, he also had quite a lot to drunk and was stumbling into the living room, not being particularly quiet as he made his way over to the all too familiar couch. He bumped into a table on the way though, so hard that the whole thing got knocked over, resulting in a lot of noise. Seb’s gaze flickered to the upstairs, hoping he hadn’t woken anybody up, but wasn’t even coherent enough to pick up the table or do anything to fix it. Instead he flopped himself down on the couch, arm draped over his eyes, hoping sleep would take him soon. 

Feeling someone shake her, Cory woke up from her sleep that she just fell into not too long ago and groaned- thinking that it was already the next day, but the shaking got worse and as her eyes scanned the room, she noticed that it was still dark. Looking at who was shaking her awake, it was Jackson and she could tell there was something wrong. “Wha-” but then she heard a loud noise coming from downstairs and she heard herself let a swear slip. “Go back to bed, okay?” she said quietly to her youngest brother as she went for the baseball bat underneath her bed, not letting her anxiety be heard in her voice. Getting up, she held it up like she was getting ready to swing as she walked to the stairs, hoping that whatever or whoever it was was never there, but then her ears perked up when she heard more movement. Running down the steps, she turned the light on and just before she swung at anything, her eyes landed on the familiar boy. Her heart was racing and her breath was shaking a little. “You asshole,” she said as she dropped the bat to her side. After a moment, she felt Jackson grab onto her leg and hide behind her, daring to peek to see who it was. “Sebastian?” he asked, moving around. Gritting her teeth at the sight and state of Sebastian, Cory turned and looked at her brother. “I need you to go back upstairs and go to sleep. You have school in the morning.” He was compliant, though she could tell he didn’t want to be. 

After making sure that he was gone, Cory turned back to the problem at hand. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Walking over, she picked up the table and the items that were on top of it before she made her move to stand in front of the boy. “I should honestly hit you right now.” Cory wasn’t afraid anymore, she was now angered. Too many times he’s ended up here on her couch, wasted by anything under the sun and exposed it to her brothers. This was something she’s always expected of her parents, in fact, this an all too familiar scene with just a different casting. And she did not want to tolerate it any longer. “I’m sorry, Seb, but you can’t stay here tonight. I can’t take you being here in my house like this anymore.” 

[nocory]

okarden:

If she were sober, Cory’s reaction would have worried her, at least a little bit. She didn’t pull away from her though, so drunk Arden wasn’t hindered. “Taking control for once,” she responded, her lips moving to Cory’s jaw line. She could feel the goosebumps on her skin, and knowing her body was reacting to her touch only encouraged her further. These were unlike any feelings she had before, pining after a guy, basically changing every bit of herself in hopes that he would like her, waiting for him to make a move. This was different, this was Cory, and she felt like this was real. “Do you want me to stop?” She asked, taking a step forward and nearing stumbling into her. Her lips were close to touching hers, hovering over them for a moment before she kissed the side of her mouth, waiting for Cory’s reply. This was probably the most bold she had ever been in her life, but she wanted to stop questioning her feelings for Cory and just go for it. And with the alcohol running through her system and making her brave, tonight was the perfect night to do so.

Cory felt a quiet laugh leave her mouth as Arden neared her, shaking her head as she looked down at the closeness of the girl’s lips. “No,” she breathed out, still feeling this moment as surreal even after Arden kissed the corner of her mouth. Not being able to stop and hold herself back any longer, Cory grabbed the other girl and pulled her as close as she can before pressing her lips against the other’s. It wasn’t as smooth as she’d like it to be, blame the wine, but she was taken aback by finally being able to do what she wanted to since she met Arden. Only now, there were feelings that only made it sweeter. Pulling away, her lips still close to Arden’s, she couldn’t help the wide smile spreading across her cheeks. “And here I thought I was imagining this whole thing,” Cory leaned forward and kissed her again, this time a little more slower and a little less sloppier than the last. 

[nocory]

okarden:

For someone that usually didn’t have a lot of friends - or any - Arden was loving spending time with Cory, and had been doing so a lot lately. Right now they were at her apartment having a few drinks, and Arden had gotten a little bit tipsier than she had intended. She was fine, but some of the thoughts she was having were things that she didn’t think about when she was sober. Or at least, she tried not to think about them. It was confusing to her - she had never had feelings like this for a woman, but she couldn’t deny right now that her feelings for Cory were there. And the longer the night went on, the more she wanted to do something about it. Cory was in the kitchen making them another drink, and Arden stood up from the couch to go join her in there, a little unsteady on her feet. A smile grew on her face, at the sight of the other girl, and moved to stand beside her. “Did I mention how good you look tonight?” She asked, her smile turning into a bit of a smirk. Her hand moved up to Cory’s shoulder, brushing her hair away from her neck. She wasn’t even fully aware of what she was doing at this point, but she wanted to do it. “And I see the way you look at me,” which was true, but she didn’t consciously acknowledge it until right now. And then, without another word, she leaned forward to kiss the other girls neck, her lips moving slowly and sensually against her skin.

It was nice having a night off. Cory was able to convince her older brothers to watch their younger ones for the night so that she could hang out with Arden and she was taking every advantage thrown her way to have a good time. Pouring a few more drinks for both of them, the alcohol that she already drank wasn’t helping how much she should pour, not realizing that it was probably more than enough for a glass. Looking over at Arden, she smiled at her until she heard Arden’s words. Her brows raised and she put the bottle of alcohol on the counter and turned slightly towards her. Cory kept quiet, though her eyes gently closed shut on their own as she felt the girls fingertips on her skin. Her eyes opened when lips were on her skin. “What are you doing?” she asked, but didn’t pull away. Arden’s words rang true, though. Cory has had a crush on Arden since the night they met and each time they see each other, it grows harder for her to hide what she feels towards the girl. Not only was she very much physically attracted the Arden, she’s had to ignore the impending feelings. These actions from Arden, Cory didn’t foresee, even if she might’ve thought about it once or twice. It surprised her enough that she didn’t move, thinking it was fake, though the goosebumps on her skin gave her away that Arden’s words were true. 

[nocory]

oksebastians:

Seb just smiled at his friend and shrugged his shoulders. In comparison to all of the things she had done for him over the years, this was not enough. He’d find some other ways to keep making it all up to her. For now, a mediocre breakfast would have to do. “I’d accuse you of lying, but it doesn’t matter. That just proves how good of a friend you are if you’re choking down my horrible food, anyway.” He grinned, walking over to the table with her. He was about to sit down when he heard her soft words, and reached out to ruffle her hair fondly. “Me too,” was all he said in reply, sitting down next to her just as the other Blake siblings came trampling down the stairs.

Cory rolled her eyes at his words. “You put yourself down too much. Give yourself some credit, it’s edible,” she teased lightly, though she did believe most of those words to be true, Since they’ve known each other, Cory thought he is a lot more than what he thinks he is. Fixing her hair while glaring lightly at him, all of the boys ran to the counter where the food was and she watched as Emmett handed the younger ones each of their plates before getting his own. “Eat up while you can, because it looks like Seb and Jackson are trying out for next seasons Top Chef,” she said with laughter. 

[nocory]

okarden:

When Cory accepted her offer for a drink, Arden beamed. She subconsciously leaned even closer to the girl, drawn to her for whatever reason - she didn’t think it was just because she had been nice to her. “Great,” she replied, excited to get to know her better and see what may come from it. She did tend to take things like this really fast - for her it was all or nothing, go big or go home. Arden was always used to falling for someone fast and then moving on immediately, but right now she couldn’t ever imagine moving on from whatever this thing she had for Cory was right now. “Okay,” Arden spoke up again, leaning back away from Cory. “I’ll stop distracting you so you can finish up.” She was still beaming up at her, not wanting her to leave right now, but knowing it’d be better once she could sit down and have a drink with her. 

Now that Cory’s attention was on Arden, the last few minutes she had to work was a lot harder and drawn out than she thought it would be. The girl said she would stop distracting her, but Cory couldn’t help it and she didn’t mind it. Maybe the rest of the patrons in the bar did as she kept almost tripping over herself. Finally, she was able to clock out. Cory was able to quickly grab her few things that she had with her before coming out of the back. Her eyes scanned the bar and she smiled to herself when she saw that Arden was still waiting for her there. Cory, asking for a few drinks from her coworker on the other side of the bar, she waited until they were made before bringing them over to the table and setting one of them in front of the girl. “That took me longer than I wanted, sorry,” she said lightly, smiling at her. 

[nocory]

okarden:

Arden’s smile only widened as the girl came back over to her, and kept widening when she said her name. Her feelings were coming on fast as they usually did, and she was hanging on this girl’s every word. At her compliment, Arden felt the heat rush to her cheeks, and she looked down at the table brushing a piece of hair behind her ear. Something about this whole thing felt different than usual, and not just because she was attracted to a woman this time. It felt a little bit like it wasn’t one sided - but maybe that was just her getting her hopes up. Looking back up, the grin on her face was in full force. “Any chance.. that you’d like to have a drink with me when you’re off?” She asked, eyes gleaming with hope. Maybe it was a long shot, but she had to try. Cory did just see her get walked out on though, so Arden couldn’t imagine what that said about her. 

Cory smiled to herself when she noticed the blush on the girls face and then only to have it widen even more when she looked away. She placed her elbows on the table top and crossed her arms, letting herself lean a bit closer just before Arden looked back up at her, mirroring each others grins. When she heard Arden ask her to have a drink when she was done, she was a little surprised, but more than willing to except. “I think I’d love that.” Cory hadn’t been this quickly into with anyone like she was with Arden in a long time, and maybe it was going to turn out to be a one night thing or not now that there was a definite mutual attraction. Either way, as selfish as it sounded, she was glad that the man walked out on this girl, it wouldn’t have given either of them the chance to get to know each other. This was one of those moments where fate decided to take its course and Cory was more than willing to go along the road. 

[nocory]

oksebastians:

Sebastian turned to Jackson, nodding in approval as he successfully flipped his pancake. “Nice one. You should probably go wake up your brothers before we eat this all,” he told him, patting him on the back as he walked past to head upstairs. Seb turned back to Cory then, and shrugged his shoulders. “I thought we could spend the day hanging out and doing whatever until you go to work tonight,” he told her, repeating what she had offered the night before. He wanted her to know how bad he felt about the way he had acted, but he couldn’t actually say the words. “And I know this probably isn’t quite as good as any breakfast you could have made, but thanks to Jackson showing me what pancake mix is, it’s probably not horrible.” He gave a small laugh, rubbing his tired, aching eyes. Stifling a yawn, he turned away from her to plop a couple of pancakes on a plate, handing it over to her. 

Taking the plate that was handed to her, Cory smiled up at him. “You didn’t have to do all this,” she told him, sitting the plate down on the table before walking over to the cabinet for the maple syrup. Sitting down in front of her food, she grinned down at it. “But I’m definitely loving it right now so keep it up,” she said with laughter before taking a bite. She acted like she was really analyzing each chew and then she looked at her friend with approval. “Not so bad.” Taking another bite, she heard a bunch of footsteps upstairs and knew that the rest of the boys were going to be down at any moment. “I’m really glad you stayed, Seb.” She said softly after a few moments, putting her fork down. 

[nocory]

okarden:

Arden looked down at their hands when the waitress’s covered hers, and then back up at the girl’s face. This was the nicest thing anyone has ever done for her, and she didn’t know what to say. At her next words, Arden gave a small, sad smile. “Yeah, neither have I.” But as she looked at the girl in front of her, she thought she might have. It was a weird feeling.. one she only in the past had for men, but right now she was attracted to this lady, and wanted to make a better impression that the one she was making now. “Wait–” she spoke out after she had turned to keep cleaning up tables. “Sorry, I know you’re working but… I’m Arden.” She smiled at her, the man she was just on a date with completely forgotten as she waited to hear what the pretty waitress’s name was. She got infatuated with people way too quickly, and every time she got her heart broken she swore she would take her time next time around, but now here she was, barely five minutes after the end of her last date, and she already was interested in someone new. She honestly wasn’t sure if it was just the need for attention and love that brought on these feelings for the girl, or if they were genuine. But either way, she was never good at hiding or suppressing her emotions. 

Cory looked up when she heard the girls voice calling out for her and she turned towards her with a curious glance. When the girl introduced herself, Cory’s smile widened in response and she set down the tray on the empty table to walk back over to Arden. “I’m Cory,” she said to her. “And don’t worry about it, I’m off in a few anyways,” she told her, waving off the apology. Cory felt that she might’ve been reading into it in a way that was completely wrong, but in that moment, she felt that this was a good a chance as any to get to know the girl. Arden was just blown off by the guy she was with a few minutes before, but that didn’t mean Cory couldn’t be the knight in shining armor, even just for a little bit. “You know, I have to say that I feel bad for the guy. He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” She grinned lightly at Arden from across the table and while they just met, she could tell the girl deserves more than what was given to her that night.

[nocory]

oksebastians:

Sebastian had hardly slept that night, which wasn’t unusual when he was coming down from a major high, but he knew a big part of it was that he couldn’t stop thinking about what Cory had said before she went to bed. He had just silently looked away from her at the time, not sure what to say for himself, and now he couldn’t get it off his mind. He hadn’t realized how much he’d been using Cory - and that’s never how he wanted to treat her. She was his best, and maybe only, friend and it was about time he stopped treating her like less than that. That was why he was up now before sunrise, standing in her kitchen, trying to make pancakes despite having no idea what ingredients are in pancakes. This was his version of apology, trying to show it rather than say it. He was trying his best to be quiet, not wanting to wake anyone up until he was done, but that plan clearly backfired when he heard a voice coming from behind him. “You’re doing that wrong.” Turning around, Seb saw that it was Jackson, the youngest Blake sibling and grinned at him. “You know how to make pancakes, kid?” When Jackson nodded, Seb gesturing for him to come over and help. Together, the two of them managed to put together something that resembled breakfast, and they were in the middle of a competition to see who could flip their pancake the highest, when he heard footsteps coming into the kitchen. It was Cory this time, and Seb smiled at her softly. “Morning,” he greeted. “You hungry?” 

Cory slept in more later than she usually allowed herself, but it didn’t help that she was up later than usual. She heard a few noises coming from downstairs in the kitchen and she got up to go check on everyone. Looking in the rooms, it seemed that only Tyler and Emmett were still asleep or at least trying to get out of bed, she rolled her eyes playfully at Emmett who groaned in response to Cory checking in on them. After that, she checked on Jackson and noticed that he wasn’t in bed and rightfully assumed that it was him making all the noise downstairs. “Jackson?” she called out while coming down the staircase. There wasn’t any response, but there was obvious voices coming in from the other room. Walking in the kitchen, she saw Sebastian and her youngest brother trying to flip pancakes. Crossing her arms loosely over her chest, she smiled at the sight of the two of them. “Good morning,” she replied, moving over to the counter. “I am, and it looks almost edible, thank you Jackson,” she joked, winking at him. Looking up at her friend with a curious yet happy glance she asked, “I thought you were leaving this morning?” 

[nocory]

okarden:

Arden had really had high hopes this time that this guy would be different, but she had only been seeing him for a couple of weeks, and he had only been treating her horribly. She knew he was, and she knew this wasn’t anything important to him, but she still latched onto him, did whatever he wanted and became whoever she thought he wanted, and it wasn’t enough. This whole night he had been on his phone, checking out other women, hardly acknowledging her as she spoke to him. And now, after he had said he was just going to the bathroom, she knew he had left completely and wasn’t coming back. Her eyes were down in her lap, tears starting to well up in her eyes. She knew it was pointless to cry, it would only embarrass her further and he wasn’t worth it, but she couldn’t help. She kept having her heart stomped on over and over again. Her head snapped up suddenly when someone spoke to her, forcing herself to smile slightly as she saw it was the waitress. “He’s… yeah. It’s okay, though,” she replied quietly, wiping her eyes and sitting up straighter. She always latched on to the same type of guy, and it always ended the same way. You’d think she’d learn eventually. When the girl told her not to worry about the bill, she looked up at her again, surprised. “Are you sure? You don’t have to do that..” Confusion was written all over her face, but the longer she looked at her, the more she could tell what a nice thing she was doing for her, and her lips curled up into the tiniest bit of a smile again. “Thank you.”

Cory noticed when the brunette looked up, she saw the tears in her eyes and she almost had half a mind to go find the guy herself and tear him apart for leaving this girl here like this. He left only a few minutes ago, he couldn’t have gone that far. Cory’s attention was brought back to the girl in front of her and she shook her head when she saw the confused look on her face. “Yeah, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” she said with a smile. Then placing a hand lightly on top of the others and leaning forward a bit she added, “You’re welcome.” Moving away just a moment after, grabbing the tray of glasses with both hands once again she said, “I would say you could find better, but I’ve never seen it.” It wasn’t probably the best thing she could say to the girl and felt bad as soon as she said it. Clearing her throat, she looked at the ground. “Stay as long as you’d like. No rush.” Cory turned away to pick up the rest of the empty glasses and dish ware on the tables.

[nocory]

oksebastians:

“I don’t need you to stay,” Seb answered her immediately. Now that he was sobering up, he felt how much of a burden he was being. Maybe not in her eyes, but he always felt like he was a burden to her. He could never help it though, he felt safe here so this was where he kept coming back. At her offer, he felt a rush of sadness coarse through him. He knew it was the drugs, crashing always messed with his emotions and made him feel again, all at once, but he was still sad that Cory felt the need to go through all of this trouble for him. “That’s nice of you, but don’t worry about it. I’ll be out of your hair first thing in the morning.” He smiled slightly at her, feeling bad about saying no after her look of hopefulness, but felt he had to nonetheless. She did too much for him, and there wasn’t much he was able to do to return the favour.

Cory frowned but looked away so that he wouldn’t have to see it. “Fine.” This time she did pull away from him and stood up just after she freed her hand from his grip. She was upset and worried and given how tired she was, she most likely wasn’t hiding it as easily as she thought. Grabbing him a pillow and a few blankets that she kept downstairs for him, Cory placed them on the couch. After, she walked over to the stairs, ready to head up to her room but then turned around to look at him while putting her hands on her hips to give him a tight-lipped smile. “You can stay in the morning if you’d like, or not. If not, I’ll see you the next time you show up out of your mind.” It seemed the only Seb that she was ever able to hang out with anymore was the one she didn’t like very much, but he was the only best and longest friend she’d ever had. Knowing that one of these days she might have to put her foot down against him would hurt her, but she did have to think about her brothers and herself if even she would rather not.  

[nocory]

The night wasn’t so busy at work, Cory only had a few tables to serve so it was relatively slow, something she was grateful for now that her shift was coming close to an end. She was carrying a few drinks around and bringing them to their respective tables when she looked over at a certain table and noticed that the couple that was sitting there was now just the girl all alone. She sighed quietly to herself, heading over to the girl and as she approached her she gave her a smile. “It might not be my business to stick my nose into anything,” she started while replacing the brunettes empty drink with another, “the guy that was here? He’s an asshole.” Cory witnessed herself the guy walking out the back and it didn’t seem that he was coming back anytime soon after already being gone for over five minutes, not with the type of texts she noticed him receiving when she came over. Cory was feeling bad for the girl the instant she took their orders, knowing that he was barely giving her the time of day. “Don’t worry about the bill, alright?” she smiled. It wasn’t fair that he dined and ditched and then left her to handle it.

[nocory]

oksebastians:

When Cory’s head was on his shoulder, Sebastian adjusted to wrap his arm around her, giving her a small squeeze as his way for apologizing about not being able to say anything more. No, he wasn’t okay, but he couldn’t admit that to her. “No, I’m good,” he replied firmly. He always refused to eat Cory’s food, knowing she was in the same boat as him when it came to money - the only difference being she has four brothers to take care of and he spends all his money on drugs. Regardless, when he really needs to eat, he always find some way to get it himself. “Honestly, Cor, I’m fine. Go to bed,” he tried to tell her, pulling back from her a bit. Now that he was crashing, he was pushing Cory away from him again, when just a few minutes ago all he wanted to do was hang out and talk to her. And honestly, that was still all he wanted to do, but it was more difficult to talk without the medicated assistance. 

Cory didn’t roll her eyes or respond in any way to Seb declining her offer- it was what she expected from him, but it was the last thing she wanted. She heard him tell her to go to bed and even started pulling away from her, but she didn’t budge. “No, I can stay. I don’t mind,” she told him. She wanted to stay as long as he needed her to. “How ‘bout, in the morning when everyone’s up, I’ll make us a huge ass breakfast and all of us can spend the day chilling or doing whatever, until I go to work tomorrow night?” she suggested, looking up at him with a bit of hopefulness. 

[bedussey]

[carpenter-sab]

[bled]