You&#x27;re human tonight

The sound of Noel’s voice sent his adrenaline pumping, and also made him feel like he was breaking in half. He had never heard her sound like that before, never heard her sound so completely broken and he immediately wanted to kill whoever had made her feel this way. Beckett froze when he heard her tell him what floor of the hospital she was in. Why would she be on that floor? That was the OBGYN floor and his mind couldn’t or wouldn’t wrap around why she would be on that floor. “Okay, I’ll be right there.” He told her and hung up before running to the stairs, not patient enough to wait for the elevator and ran to her floor. When he got there he demanded a nurse tell him her room and once he knew where she was he wasted no time in bursting in, his eyes quickly scanning over her. “Noel, what’s going on?” He questioned her, moving to her bedside.

She tried not to count the minutes it took for Beckett to get to her. She didn’t know what his schedule was. She knew it, but with everything that was going on at the moment, she couldn’t remember it. She couldn’t really think about anything at the moment other than getting home. That was all she could think about without bursting into tears, and she didn’t want to do that. Especially when she had no idea when Beckett was getting here. She definitely didn’t want that to be the first thing he saw. As much as she loved him, he had never been great around emotions. Especially hers. Thankfully, it wasn’t nearly as long as she thought it might be before her door was slamming open, and her match was standing there. “Beck!” She reached over, ignoring the pain, and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, burying her face in his chest. “Take me home. Please just take me home.” Noel murmured.

#mp1

Beck was at work when his phone rang. His first instinct was to ignore it. They weren’t supposed to answer calls while they were working but once he saw that it was Noel he immediately knew that something was wrong. She would have texted had it not been something important so if she was calling him, there was an important reason for it. He answered immediately, the pit in his stomach growing at her words. Where was she and why did he need to come get? And God why did she sound like that? What had happened to her? Way too many questions were assaulting his brain and he stood there frozen for a moment while his body tried to process what was going on in his mind. “Okay…Where are you? Are you alright?” He asked urgently, suddenly feeling a surge of adrenaline, wanting to protect her at all cost from whatever it was that had her upset.

If she was anything other than super emotional, she probably would have sighed with relief when Beckett picked up. she had known that she needed him, but just hearing his voice brought her so much comfort her fingers loosened their grip on the phone in her hand. She took a deep breath, trying to focus on the sound of Beckett’s voice so she could at least be understood through the sobs that threatened to bust out of her throat. “I’m . . . I’m on the fourth floor of the hospital. Just please, please, come quick, I want to go home. I need to go home.” She barely managed to get out before the phone was ripped from her hands and their phone conversation was cut off. Almost immediately the Official left the room, leaving Noel alone once again. She buried her face in her hands, bringing her knees up to her chest to hide her face. She just wanted him to hurry up, hoping he could get there as soon as possible so she could just go home.

#p1

Pain. So much pain. There was paid absolutely everywhere throughout her whole entire body. Noel could feel it radiating from her abdomen all the way up to the top of her head. She gasped for breath, but made no other sound, not wanting the Officials to know just how badly she wanted to sob for her loss, sob for her pain, sob for the poor baby that had been ripped from her before she even got a chance to see it. The cruel way they had announced that she would have had a beautiful baby boy. Her fingers clenched tight into the sheets and she closed her eyes, willing the image that had flooded her mind to disappear forever. To stop tormenting her every thought. It was all she could think about though. She had lost something that she hadn’t even really realized that she already loved, and Beck . . . oh god Beck. She was going to have to tell him now. She was going to have to let him know what happened. What she had been keeping from him.

She jumped when a phone landed beside her head, wincing at the pain that reaction caused. “Call someone to pick you up.” The Official told her, and she quickly grabbed it, knowing that there was only person that she wanted to call even though she knew it would mean telling him everything. The only person that she wanted right now was Beck. He was the only one that she trusted anymore and she could admit it, she needed him right now. She needed Beck desperately. Noel dialed his number quickly, turning away from the Official as she waited for him to answer. “Beck . . . I need you to come get me please.” She managed to croak out, cringing at the sound of her own voice.

#p1

Something told Beckett that he needed to pull himself together, needed to not push Noel away from him right now. He wanted to so badly though, didn’t want her to touch him, didn’t want her anywhere near him if he was being honest. But something told him that there was something major going on between them and even though he didn’t know what it was he just knew that he shouldn’t push her away from him right now. So he took a deep breath, willing his body to relax with no success. Beck knew she didn’t understand why he got like this, and he didn’t expect her to seeing as she had thankfully never been through what he had been through as a child. He tried to remind himself that she didn’t get it and right now it seemed essential that he not pull away from her, so he decided to try to let her help. “Yeah, I’m sure…” He told her, sitting up.

She was still shocked that he was still letting her hold onto him. She had seen him in these moods enough to know how he normally acted, and this was not it, but at the same time, she couldn’t help but feel a little glad. Glad that he was finally letting her in a little bit during his time of need. Glad that she could finally feel like she was doing something. Noel reached out, brushing her fingers through her hair tenderly, looking at him with every bit of adoration that she had as she smiled softly at him. She finally sat up, stretching slightly after being in the bed for so long, before standing up, waiting on him to join her. “Well, that sounds amazing right now.” Noel said with a smile, letting go of his hair before reaching down to grab his hand. “But you can’t make fun of me for my rapping in the shower.” She teased him as she started walking towards the bathroom.

#mp1

Beckett hated how his skin crawled when Noel touched him. It was the last thing he wanted to feel from her touch. He knew of course that it wasn’t her, but the memories that the touch brought up. Still it was hard to decipher the two in moments like this. He wanted to try though. It hurt to see the hurt in her eyes whenever he pushed away so for as long as he could he would let her be there for him today. “It’s hard not to apologize…” He told her honestly. Beck smiled softly at her attempt to distract him. He really did appreciate it more than she knew but right now he just didn’t feel like talking, didn’t feel like thinking. And though he really didn’t want her touching him right now that was the one thing he was willing to settle with as long as there was minimal talking and thinking. “I kind of just want to take a shower… Come with me?” He asked her.

Noel hated feeling helpless, but lately that was just about all she could be feeling. She had no idea how to adjust her situation, how to change any of it. She was pregnant, and there was nothing she could do about it, and if that wasn’t scary enough, her match also had moments of distress where she had no idea how to help. She just wanted to help him feel better, but she was so used to comforting him with touch, she didn’t have any idea what to do when that wasn’t an option. Noel felt like she was always never able to do enough for him, and she didn’t know how to reconcile that feeling. She was trying to get better at understanding that he didn’t want to talk or be touched, but she couldn’t deny that every once in a while it still hurt having him pull away from her. Especially when she didn’t know how much longer they would have together. “I know.” She said, biting her lip. “Are you sure?” She asked, slightly surprised.

Beck did not want this to be happening right now. He knew though that most of the time he couldn’t fight it and it always ended up happening anyways. He tried this time though, feeling like if he pulled away from her know that it just wouldn’t be a good idea. The longer he lay there though the harder it got to not pull away. Feeling her skin against his was almost too much for him to bear but he didn’t move and he kept his arms locked around her, his body still tense against hers. When she spoke to him he ran his fingers through her hair, keeping his eyes on her as he leaned forward and pressed his forehead against hers. Her words helped his nerves a little though a part of him still wanted to run from her. “I’m sorry…” He told her, closing his eyes when looking into hers became too intimate for him. “I don’t like you seeing me like this.” He said, his arms loosening around her slightly.

She knew at this moment that she had to push everything she was feeling aside. No matter how scared she was of what was happening to her right now, Beck needed her help even though he would never admit it to her. She didn’t want him to pull away from her in times like this. She wanted to be able to help him the best she could, and that meant being here for him even when he didn’t want her too. She was surprised that he didn’t pull away, but glad it was that way. She didn’t want him to pull away from her. She kept her eyes open, gaze locked on his as he leaned forward and touched her forehead. “Don’t apologize for this, okay? This isn’t something you can control. I just wish that I could be more help.” She told him, biting her lip before pressing a soft kiss to his cheek. “Do you need something to take your mind off of it? If so I can tell you the story of how I’m planning on changing my whole entire story about the adding of a new bench in the park into a piece on how people should stop sitting on their asses?” Noel asked, a small smile on the corner of her lips.

Beck laid there for a moment as he caught his breath and reigned in his thoughts. He felt more even tenser now than relaxed and when he felt her hand in his hair he had to fight the urge to pull away from her. He could feel the dark thoughts start to surface. This always happened when he was extremely stressed or worried about something. It was as his brain needed to reminded him that things could be even worse and thoughts of his past always came to mind. Beckett did his best to not think about them. Pushing Noel away right now didn’t seem like a good idea. He didn’t want her to worry and if something was going on between them he didn’t want to make it any worse. He knew though that she would be able to tell the change in his body, the way his became slightly more ridged but he wrapped his arms around her, doing his best to focus on her and remind himself that it was her touching him and no one else.

Noel bit her lip as she felt Beck’s whole body tense. She knew what that meant. She was pretty sure that she knew him fairly well for the most part, and she knew how to read his body. If he was tensing up that meant that he was trying not to go to his dark place as she called it. She didn’t really know what to call it other than that. She also didn’t know what actually caused these episodes to come back up in him, but she knew she didn’t ever want to leave him alone in one. Even though he generally wanted her too. They were in this together, she constantly reminded herself, and for as long as they were together, she was still planning on being there for him. She felt his arms wrap around her, and shuffled a little bit against his chest before resting her hands on his shoulders gently. “Hey, stay with me, all right? Don’t go there right now. I’m here with you, and I’m not going anywhere for as long as you want me too.” She kept her eyes locked on his before speaking again. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.” She assured him quietly.

This was getting ridiculous. He couldn’t believe how hard it was for him to come right now. It wasn’t a problem he ever had. Sure he could last a while sometimes but mostly only until he had gotten his partner to where they needed to be and he was soon to follow. That wasn’t the case this time though and the frustration he was feeling was just pulling him farther away from his goal so he once again tried his best to focus back on her. Letting himself only feel how her body felt against his, how tight and warm she felt around him and has her hips moved to meet his and he could feel her clenching even tighter around him he slowly felt himself start to build. Beck started to moan louder the closer he got and when her lips found his neck and her fingers pulled at his hair in just that way he couldn’t resist he finally found his release, coming hard and breathing heavy as he leaned his forehead against her shoulder. He let himself come down off his high for a moment before he pulled out of her and rolled himself off her, laying on his back next to her as he caught his breath, running a hand through his damp hair.

It wasn’t much longer after that when she felt Beck finally release inside of her and almost immediately once he was off of her, her hand went to her stomach. She had noticed the habit lately, and she couldn’t help but touch it as much as possible, especially since she could now feel the baby moving every once in a while. She laid there for a moment, trying to fight back tears. This was ridiculous. She hated being this emotional all the time, but she couldn’t help but feel like pretty soon she would be losing Beck, and the thought terrified her. Especially since she was already terrified enough as it was imagining someone finding out about her. Which she was sure they would eventually. Noel fought back the wave of emotion though, and after a moment of calming herself down, she rolled over on her side to face him, reaching up and running a hand through his dark hair gently. She had to enjoy the little moments. She knew they were going to be few and far between from now on. Leaning forward, she pressed a gentle kiss against his bicep before nuzzling into his shoulder. She didn’t know what to say, so she just laid there, taking in the comfort of his arms.

beckett-fields:

Beck couldn’t believe how distracted he was right now. He was hardly ever this distracted during sex, actually he was never this distracted during sex. But he’d had so much on his mind lately and there was something bothering him that he just couldn’t quite seem to put his finger on. Something was going on with Noel, with them and he didn’t know what it was. He knew he should just ask but he couldn’t bring himself to do that. Asking would possibly get him and answer and he wasn’t sure he really wanted an answer. A part of him would rather just not address it than to confront it. All he could think was maybe Noel was getting tired of him and didn’t want him anymore. That was where his mind always went, and even though it was never that it didn’t keep that from being the worry that always came to mind. He tried again to push all the thoughts out of his mind and focus on how amazing his girlfriend felt, because God she felt amazing but there was just so much on his mind that he was having a really hard time getting there which was a problem he never had and he didn’t want to start now. Forcing himself to focus on her mouth he let out a load groan, his hand digging roughly into her hip as he picked his pace back up, moving himself into her hard.

Noel couldn’t decide if Beck’s current stamina was impressive or worrying, but right now she was leaning more to the worrying side. Don’t get her wrong, she was perfectly pleased with her boyfriend’s ability to get herself and him off, but usually once she had orgasmed, he wasn’t far behind, and right now she was worrying a bit that she was doing something wrong. She couldn’t think of anything that she was doing differently than normal that he might not be liking. With all the sex that they had, they had gotten used to each other’s bodies, and they each knew what the other one liked fairly well, and she knew that she wasn’t doing anything he didn’t like. She was starting to wonder if she wasn’t the only one whose mind was wondering, but she couldn’t figure out what his could be thinking about. The only thing that she could think of was her, and she definitely didn’t want that to be the case. So she decided to focus all her attentions on getting Beck off, her legs wrapped tight around him as he met his hips thrust for thrust, clenching around him on every up stroke inside of her as hard as she could. Her lips found a home in a new spot that she knew he liked, while her hands wrapped tightly in his hair. Once he was thrust inside her hard she let out a loud groan, clenching tightly around him, biting on his skin and tugging his hair sharply all at the same time.

beckett-fields:

Beck once again tried to push all the unwanted thoughts from his head. All he wanted to do right now as focus on Noel and how amazing she was making him feel, and instead he was once again having thoughts about how he wasn’t good enough for her and how everyone else knew it. Even though he thought they worked amazingly well together despite their faults he still knew that she could do so much better than him. She hated to hear him say it and he tried to not say it out loud most of the time but he thought it more often then he would like to admit. And lately it had just seemed even worse with how weird she had been acting. He couldn’t quite put his finger on why she had been acting so strange but she had been even more moody than usual and it was putting both of the on edge. Beckett knew that he should just ask her what was going on, demand her to tell him, but he also wasn’t sure he actually wanted to know what was going on. Though he thought all the time how she could do better the thought of her leaving him scared him and he couldn’t help but think her moodiness towards him recently had something to do with her not wanting to be with him anymore. No, he was just being paranoid and he needed to get himself under control. His mind was wandering so much that he wasn’t even enjoying this as much as he knew he could be. The feel of her teeth on his skin brought him back to her though and he tried to focus on her and tried to focus on finding his own release.

Noel couldn’t focus on any more thoughts as her orgasm ripped through her body. One good thing about this pregnancy, her sex drive was absolutely through the roof. Not that it hadn’t been before, after all, that was pretty much a requirement being in any relationship with Beck, but now it was even more so. In fact she’d go as far as to say she was wanting sex most of the time more than Beck was, and that was saying something because Beck seemed to want sex pretty much all the time. Now, Noel was feeling the same way. Every moment she pretty much laid eyes on her boyfriend, she was wanting to rip his clothes off, and she knew that feeling was about to become a problem, because she couldn’t ignore it very well, especially since her boyfriend also had such a high libido, and pretty soon she was going to have a bigger bump than the one she had now. The one that she had now was so small, unless you knew it was there, you wouldn’t really notice it, which for the first time in her life, she was kinda grateful that Beck was a bit oblivious when it came to things like that. Right now though, she was feeling pretty oblivious to everything except the way that Beck fit so perfectly inside of her, and how good he made her feel. She just wanted to do the same thing. It was the least that she could do after everything she was keeping from him. Her nails dragged down his chest slowly as her lips moved from his shoulder to his pulse point, sucking hard enough to leave a bruise, and she hoped it would. She couldn’t deny that she liked the other girls knowing he was hers.

Beck had recently had a conversation with his mom how she thought he should start treating Noel better and how they fought too much. He had of course gotten defensive even though he knew it was partly true and that he did need to get a little better at how he treated her and talked to her. But he couldn’t help but point out to he wasn’t the only one who acted like a jerk in this relationship. Noel wasn’t easy to live with and she was so stubborn it was hard to believe that they could ever get along. They were both so hard headed and they both always had to be right. Because even though he knew he was supposed to let her be right most of the time he never let her, well he hardly ever let her anyways. He just liked being right too much and he knew she did too. But as much as it drove him crazy it was one of the things he loved most about her. He loved how stubborn and opinionated she was. As bad as it was he enjoyed some of the fights they had. There was something about her being able to hold her own in an argument with him that turned him on and made him love her even more. Beck let out a loud moan as she tightened around him, thrusting into her hard and going still as he watched her come undone beneath him.

Noel knew that she could be a lot better girlfriend for him. She knew she could stop getting jealous for one thing every time she even saw another girl around him, she could stop getting into an argument with him every time that they didn’t agree with each other, she could also stop lying to him about her mood swings that she knew were driving more than just her crazy. When she thought about it sometimes, she really didn’t know how the two of them worked so well together, but some part of her thought that maybe it was just because they were both so stubborn, just stubborn enough to actually make it work with each other. They were both probably just way too stubborn to let this end. Of course, that might not be the case for much longer. Once he realized the fact that she was about five months pregnant with his baby. All bets were off then. At least that’s what she assumed and why she still couldn’t bring herself to say the words to him. She didn’t ever think that she would be scared to lose him. Not until she was in a position where she might, and there was no going back from how far they’ve come. They had accepted their match. They were living together. With Officials there was nothing they could do. They were stuck together, but Noel didn’t want to be stuck with him if that wasn’t what he wanted, and if he found out she was pregnant, she might not be what he wanted anymore. She forced those thoughts out of her head though, determined to focus solely on him as he brought her to her release. She tightened her legs around him, rolling her legs for a bit more friction as he stilled, sinking her teeth into his shoulder to hold back a scream.

Beck didn’t really blame people for how they saw their relationship. It looked bad and he knew that but he loved Noel and that was all that mattered to him. They worked so well together and he just had never met someone who knew how to handle him the way she did. She took him through his good and bad and knew that no one would ever be able to get him like she did. Their relationship may be far from what people thought it should be but for the most part he just didn’t care. It was their relationship and if it worked for them then eh shouldn’t worry about what anyone else thought about it. As he thought this though he contradicted himself by thinking about how he worried Noel really did care that they didn’t have this perfect relationship. Yes they fought a lot but she never seemed to act like she wanted anything other than him and he knew he was being stupid every time he worried that she wanted something better. She had been acting a little strange lately and that didn’t help his thinking that maybe she was changing her mind about him. He knew though that he was just being stupid and that she still wanted him, it was obvious especially right now. Beck moaned as she kissed his neck, his hand digging into her skin even more as he pushed into her hard again, his movements becoming more irregular as he got caught up in how good she feels.

Noel knew that this relationship with the two of them went both ways in the not being so great department. Noel knew that she was not the easiest person to get along with in any way whatsoever. She was incredibly stubborn and thought that she was in the right a good portion of the time even when she was . . . well occasionally wrong. She also had a tendency to keep things from him, such as when she had left to go gather evidence against the Official that had hurt him, or now when she was keeping the news of her pregnancy from him. She knew that none of those things were a good way to keep a relationship going, but she still just couldn’t imagine telling him. She couldn’t picture the look on his face when she told him that she was pregnant. Actually, she took that back, she could definitely imagine the look on his face, and it was not one that she wanted to think about. Especially not right now when he was thrusting into her so well and bringing her so close to her release with how amazing he felt inside of her. As he continued thrusting into her, she felt her orgasm soon approaching, her hands tightening into fists in his hair as she hit her release with his hard thrust, letting out a loud moan of his name as she tightened around him.

Beck knew what people thought of them, well of him was more like it. He knew what people said about him behind his back. And even though in the past he had never had a problem getting a girl in to bed they all thought he had issues, and they were right. He had some major issues. Ones he knew he would never quite be able to get rid. Even though Noel never said anything to him about it she was sure that people told her all the time that she could do better, and he fully believed that she could. He knew for a fact that she could do so much better, had told her so on several occasions but he was glad that she was his and he was hers. His life would not be the same without her and though other people might not see it she had changed him a lot. Everything there was to know about him, she knew and that was something no one had ever accomplished with him. Being matched with her was the only thing the officials had ever done right by him even though he hardly ever said that out loud. Beck hoped that nothing would ever come between them because he didn’t think he’d be able to handle a life without her. A loud moan left his mouth as her nail dragged against his skin before he flipped them over so he was on top, his hand still digging into her hip as he moved his hips a little faster now that he was able to get better leverage.

People didn’t get it. Noel couldn’t say that she blamed them. If she was an outsider looking in on their relationship, she would probably think that it was incredibly unhealthy and a disaster too. They were fighting a lot. They didn’t usually show too much affection for each other, and they both seemed to have mood swings on a daily basis, but that was how it worked out so perfectly. No one really saw the similarities between the two of them. Nobody ever really understood how the mood swings and anger were so passionate that it could be nothing less than love for each other that brought all that out. That was what it was. It was love, and as much as people thought it was totally unhealthy, it wasn’t, and Noel knew that, and she didn’t really care about anyone’s opinion other than Beck’s, and luckily, even though he didn’t say it a lot, she knew that he felt the same way. Loved her the same way. She could tell every time that he got upset with her and every time that she looked at him in those rare intimate moments and could see it in his eyes. He loved her, and she didn’t need him to tell her that. She could also feel it right now in the way that his hand dug into her hip as he flipped them over. Her hand immediately tangled in his hair while her lips slid down his neck, leaving rough kisses and nips against his skin as they did.

Beck often told himself he would try to be a better boyfriend and he thought he had improved slightly since they had first started dating. Especially since he had finally opened up to her on things from his past. But he knew he still had a long way to go and wasn’t sure he would ever really get there. He was just glad she put up with him like she did. Lately thought he had noticed slight changed in her. She had been acting so odd lately and he wasn’t sure what was up with her. He knew he should try t get her to walk to him about it but a part of her was worried about it. Not necessarily sure he wanted to hear what she wanted to say, worried that it might be something bad like not wanting to be with him anymore. He didn’t see why it would be that but that was where his mind went most of the time they were having any sort of problem. He just couldn’t help it because he just didn’t really understand why she was even still with him sometimes. Beck pushed all these thoughts away, just wanting to focus on her and how amazing she felt. He dug his hands into her waist as he pushed his hips up, moving into her harder as he let out moans of his own.

Noel didn’t want a better boyfriend. Some of her friends at work that she had made thought she was crazy for dealing with some of the stuff that Beck did, and even though she knew a lot of it was her fault, especially lately since her hormones have been so out of wack, Noel couldn’t even imagine the thought of being without him. She knew a lot of people were concerned about their relationship, specifically her dad. He had cornered her at a lunch she had with him the other day about how Beck was treating her because he had heard rumors of there being trouble. She had tried to reassure him that everything was fine, and that was just the way their relationship worked, but he seemed like he hadn’t bought it even though it was the truth. As much as she hated to admit it, somehow, someway, the matching system really seemed to work. At least for the two of them it did as much as she had thought originally that it hadn’t. She just hoped that it would continue to work for the two of them once he found out that she was carrying their baby. Her thoughts were disrupted though by his hard push into her and the sound of his moan. She let her hips follow his movement, her hands reaching out to trail down his abs, her nails dragging along the skin with a little whimper.

Even though Beckett sometimes worried that he wasn’t a good enough boyfriend, okay he worried about all the time though he usually tried to hide that, he usually ended up pushing his fears aside because he knew they didn’t have to be like everyone else. Noel knew he loved her even when he didn’t say or really show it for that matter. He often felt bad that he didn’t tell her how much he loved her all the time, but he just knew that he couldn’t. It was hard for him to say even though it was what he felt. Beck was glad that she never complained and even though they often fought he knew that they were in a good place and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. A moan left his lips as she rocked her hips again him,digging his hands into her hips as he lifted his hips softly in time with her movements.

Noel knew that a lot of people would probably not be able to deal with the same type of relationship that Noel and Beckett had. It wasn’t something that was easy, and it wasn’t something that a lot of people would want, but Noel didn’t. She liked the way things were. Well she liked the way things had been. She liked the way things had been before she had taken that test and ruined everything. It was still hard to believe that there was a baby growing in her belly. Her and Beck’s baby. That was still hard for her to think much less admit. She wondered how long she would be able to keep it from him. Keep it from everybody. Noel knew it wasn’t long before there was a lump because of how far along Cody had told her she was, and she was dreading the day when he started to notice. She was sure that he had already noticed her breasts. She wondered if he would be able to put the pieces together. She quickly shook those thoughts from her mind and focused on him instead, her nails digging into his shoulders with his movements, a moan of his name slipping from her lips.

Beck stayed quiet for a moment, letting her words sink into him. Even though he had heard her say it before, hearing that she loved him was just so hard for him to believe sometimes. He didn’t think he would ever get used to hearing her say and even though he knew it wasn’t normal and wasn’t what other couples did he was happy it wasn’t something they said to each other often. It wasn’t something he really knew how to explain, the words gave him feelings he liked to ignore most of the time. They were just too much for him to feel and he shied away from that much emotion if he could help it. He preferred to show her how he felt about her, not tell her and the best way he knew how to do that was through sex. Which was something they were definitely not having any shortage on. Beckett smiled up at her words, his hands tightening on her hips as she lowered himself on her, sucking in a deep breath through clenched teeth of the feel of her around him. He pressed his upward, filling her completely and taking a moment to enjoy how she felt.

Noel knew that they weren’t what most people would call a “regular” couple. They were ones to walk around being super affectionate and feeding each other or calling each other sweetie pie. In fact, Noel was pretty sure that if Beck was ever calling her something like that he was probably high. She wasn’t bothered by the fact that they weren’t constantly saying I love you. Did she wish there was a little more affection every now and then? Of course she did, but she was pretty sure that ever girl wished that at some point or another in their relationships. Did she wish that Beck could say I love you more? Sometimes, but it wasn’t for her own selfish reassurance, it was for his. She wished that he was comfortable enough to say those words as often as he liked, but that wasn’t Beck, and she loved him no matter how often he said it, and she knew that when he did say it, it was true, and that was all the reassurance that she needed. She just hoped it stayed this way. She felt his hands tightening on her hips and a little whimper left her lips as he pressed up, loving the feeling of how he felt inside her. She slowly started rocking her hips, her hands reaching down to grasp his shoulders.