! lace in the theme by uzmacchiato, tape in the theme by strangergraphics - find links to the songs here !
here's a list of my projects/witch's heart related resources!
my other accounts:
cara: basically this account but only art and no text (only aug 2024 and forward so it's not a full catalogue of the account)
youtube: where i'll be posting minecraft updates, can't think of anything else i'd post there (for now)
pinterest: i post moodboards there
for info about me beneath the cut
you can call me noel. he/him. also i'm 19
blog is currently disorganized, i'm hopefully going to be organizing the tags better soon. maybe. one day. idk i have like 400 posts now its gonna be a doozy.
i used to be adamant about not tagging my posts with "witch's heart" or "whnoc" because i did want some audience but didn't want my posts to spread too far. that being said, i doubt tagging my posts with whnoc would actually give me that much more reach, so i'm going to use the tag from now on and start retroactively applying it to old posts.
alt descriptions are inconsistent but i tag my posts with "#description in alt text" and "#not described" respectively so feel free to filter those tags if need be.
witch's heart spoilers, i always tag "witch's heart spoilers. i don't generally tag really minor spoilers (stuff like characters' names/faces). anything that actually reveals a plot or plot twist i tag though. used to tag minor wc spoilers but it's been a long time since it came out so i don't anymore. i haven't played paid wc version yet so you don't have to worry about spoilers for that though.
also it's a WH blog so i talk about dark stuff sometimes. i also make nsfw jokes. i try to tag this stuff but i don't always use the same tag and sometimes i forget.
i post a lot of stuff. analysis, projects relating to the game, art, shower thoughts.
i'm noel's #1 fan. he's the subject of most of my posts. i love pathetic blond men. among other things i have decided he is trans and chronically ill. constantly sharing new headcanons
(many hcs explicitly unofficial. i keep them out of the wh tag so nobody who doesn't want to see them has to, but i like multiple headcanons for which a point has been made of them not being official, so feel free to disengage if you don't like that sort of thing, though i mean no disrespect to anyone by it)
i'm a sirinoel enthusiast. i don't usually post about other ships, esp other ships involving those two, but i like most ships with any popularity, so keep that in mind
i've played witch's heart like 10 times and am starting to become a lore expert. if you want to ask me about the lore please do
i'm bad with interactions. i get nervous to talk to people. i also compulsively correct people about the lore. very sorry i know it's annoying.
as for interactions: it's a pet peeve of mine when people kind of reply to my posts saying something like "i prefer [x] interpretation/ship to the interpretation/ship featured in your post, but"... you can prefer whatever you like but it admittedly feels a little backhanded so like please don't do that! (it is however fine to tag a ship if it is indeed relevant)
[everything under the cut because i'm embarassed, but]
Free Day [Prompt/Idea Notes]
I said my new year's resolution was to draw them kissing, so I did... that's all...
Free Day [Art Notes]
Even with references, it's quite bad. I figured I should try it, though. I made it easy on myself by not drawing a background, because it's free day, so I can do whatever I want. At least I tried!
It was fun to participate in it this year!! I had fun.
Happy birthday to Sirius! I feel a bit sad I got a day behind, since it means I can't post my final one for that day... oh well.
[long commentary yap under the cut]
Flirting [Prompt/Idea Notes]
Its not that I have no ideas related to this, I just wasn't sure how to turn them into a scene, but they were mostly Noel-related so i just drew Noel pulling the bashful anime prettyboy card.
Flirting [Art Notes]
This is lazy. I thought to myself... I did a lazy Sirius-only drawing on day 1, so Noel can have a lazy him-only drawing on this day, because I honestly needed a bit of bit of a break while I was drawing the sketches for these. But those drawings aren't really equivalent, the day 1 is drawing is still much higher effort. I don't know... I've wanted to make a drawing like this before... A little unfortunate this ended up being for Sirius's birthday, too.
Not much to say about the drawing itself.
Confession [Prompt/Idea Notes]
I was thinking this was post-WC just because this is a scene I have in that story, though I drew their default outfits and faces more like they are in canon. The idea is they've known each other for a long time and Sirius is like very tired of them being so romantic but neither of them having confessed, so he just resolves to go ahead and confess, even pulling out all the stops to make it romantic. Noel gets confused runs off and crashes out. LOL
Confession [Art Notes]
This one was fun, I feel the lighting looks better on Sirius. References! I used so many for this one. The flowers are all flowers I kinda personally associate with Noel...
SiriNoel Week : Day 5 [Forced Proximity / Distance]
Hi, sorry this is a day late. I didn't take my meds the day before yesterday, so I was having intense mood problems yesterday and couldn't work on it. So the rest of the week will be offset by a day unfortunately.
[long commentary yap under the cut]
Forced Proximity [Prompt/Idea Notes]
I have this AU where Sirius and Noel get snowed in together and the power gets cut. They get snowed into Noel's house and he doesn't live near anyone, so after not very long they have to huddle themselves together under all the blankets they have in order to not freeze to death. I headcanon sirius is super sensitive to/scared of the cold (and Noel is very scared something will happen to sirius) so theyre both all vulnerable and gay and stuff 🙂↕️
Forced Proximity [Art Notes]
I drew Noel so cute... Sirius. on the other hand... I fear it shows up in these drawings how much more comfortable I am drawing Noel than Sirius. I put gays in a closet for pride month... I'm homophobic...
Anyway, not much to say. I slacked a little on this one, I have the door open a crack for dramatic effect.
Distance [Prompt/Idea Notes]
This is a post-WC thing, Sirius spends many years of research trying to figure out how to break Noel's curse, constantly exhausted as a result, and even him who is tidy let his place get really messy. Noel isolated, in monster form, mentally deteriorating more each day. They both feel the immeasurable distance across dimensions! Or something like that.
Distance [Art Notes]
I think this is pretty decent. Sirius was like, meant to be at his home, but it looks more like he's in a library; but by the time I realized I had drawn the wrong setting, I was already crashing out because I spent an hour trying to find any reference that wasn't AI, so I didn't feel like redrawing it, so I just said "well, I guess this is his house now."
The darkness/Noel part isn't as effective as I intended, it was meant to be like a little cut-in to show him/his own tiredness in contrast to Sirius's but... hmm. I dunno.
theres a chance i might have to skip today for drawing, i didnt take my meds yesterday and its putting me in a serious funk, i may have to offset when i post the rest of the prompts by a day :')
Demons [Prompt/Idea Notes]
I felt sad that IZ never made a hater Sirius design proper (yeah there was the Lil Guy but c'mon) so I made one. In the AU sirius is like 300 years old and was a previous owner of the mansion who got killed in a mob by people who broke in (I think his backstory is mostly the same but with no Claire & Noel, so his parents and Dorothy still died). Despite all the time he still feels very possessive over the mansion and curses people who disturb it. So he became a hater. Noel is a purebred in the AU and they have toxic yaoi because Noel is obsessed with him and feigns comforting and understanding (literally just because he finds it interesting not even specifically to try to lie to him)* and Sirius resents Noel for doing that but also feels in his heart like he can't trust any human or even ex-human, so Noel not being human and not being able to have true empathy for him is actually the only reason Sirius trusts Noel, and deep down he feels like he's the only one that Sirius can trust.
*Noel being purebred changes so much about his character that he's basically a different character so I kinda ran wild w it lmao. Noel is a Very Human character.
Demons [Art Notes]
Since it's in hell, I could just cheap out for this one. It seems like hell, despite its appearances, is a pretty neutrally lit place, so... Ngl the color filter I tried putting on it made it look dreamy but that's okay.
Angels [Prompt/Idea Notes]
Ok ngl i didn't know what to do for this one. I mentioned I wanted my drawings to be pre-existing ideas, but I've never had an angel related idea for WH. At the suggestion of a friend I made them doomed angel yaoi to be the counterpart to the toxic demon yaoi. I have developed the AU very little since I never thought of it before this drawing but uh. My idea was that noel is Siruis's guardian angel; with a twist that noel is actually a fallen angel who is not actually assigned to Sirius, and he only watches over Sirius out of a sense of duty to him, lying and saying he's his guardian angel to justify it.
Since the prompt is angels plural I was thinking maybe Sirius becomes an angel?? Or secretly already is one or something??? Idk
Angels [Art Notes]
Everyone I showed liked this one most... at the lineart stage at least. I couldn't make the lighting work because with the colored lineart, if I put it under the lineart, the lineart would show up all weird, but when I put it over, it made it look like... that. I didn't have enough time to try to find a solution...
But I think Noel's wings turned out decently.
Demons [Design Commentary]
This was the rough draft of the design. I wanted it to be red because I feel like red is rarely prominent in Sirius's designs despite that being his eye color, so I figured if he's going to be a demon depiction of Sirius at his worst, then why not...
Since he usually has a crescent motif, I gave him a sun motif (sometimes simplified to just a little star shape) to be its inverse, and I let him be a little fruitier with it because why not.
Demons [Design Commentary]
This was was pretty vague but fun - most notable feature is the eyes on the cape(?) that didn't fit in the final drawing. They're blue like Noel's eyes, and my idea is that before he was "fallen" they eyes on his wings were also blue. (I'm debating whether the eyes on his face also turned orange after being fallen.) He didn't change his clothes after falling, so the fact that they're blue unlike the ones on his wings is like, a "hint." The halo wasn't drawn because fallen angel, but I think he originally had one. Me not drawing his ahoge was just me forgetting though.
Dream [Prompt/Idea Notes]
Cinderella dream!!! For so long I've loved writing Sirius as having recurring Cinderella dreams that evolve as his life evolves (because he seems to project onto the story), and I like to imagine that when he starts having feelings for Noel romance enters the dream for the first time, now suddenly taking the role as prince when usually the dreams ended before they ever got to that point (because Sirius doesn't care about that part of the story very much). It's just cute to me.
Dream [Art Notes]
I like how the colors turned out on this one. The castle in the background, well - so, It was another case where I forgot to do the lineart for something, so when it came time to finish it, I just... didn't put in my full effort. It's not the focus anyway.
I gave Sirius a Disney Cinderella dress because why not... I also took a bit of inspiration from my fem Sirius design I made a long time ago. Used so many references for this one.
Nightmare [Prompt/Idea Notes]
I didn't know what I wanted to do for this initally but since the dream was Sirius's i made the nightmare Noel's! :D I feel like Noel has a lot of guilt-induced trauma dreams about Sirius where Sirius is just like there, staring at him, and he feels his judgment. The blood is obvious symbolism yada yada. But I feel like Noel very frequently dreams in a regressed state back to when he was 11, especially if the dream is trauma-centric, because I think he's still mentally rooted at that point in some ways in the fear. The house is also… representative of his childhood home :D
Nightmare [Art Notes]
I don't know how to draw blood and it's hard to find references because like... I don't want to real blood...
In general I will use my photos for "paintings" and stock images for rugs. I don't know if you can say what photo I chose has any direct symbolism, but it kinda fits, I dunno... References!!! Made Noel's pose possible.
Pets [Prompt/Idea Notes]
Simple idea, I always wanted to draw something about my headcanon that Noel is a dog-like person who loves cats and Sirius is a cat-like person who loves dogs because it's so adorable to me. (Honestly, it's only partially a headcanon. Sirius does say he prefers dogs IIRC, and Noel never states a preference but seems to really like the cat that shows up...)
I wanted to give Noel a little black cat that's mean and claws at everyone but warmed up to Noel specifically and cuddles with him, and I wanted to give Sirius a needy golden retriever that loves him and constantly wants his approval and attention that Sirius pretends to be annoyed with but actually adores and spoils. Those personalities of the pets don't come across in this pic necessarily but I wanted to make something related to it so you might as well hear me yap about it.
Pets [Art Notes]
I don't like it that much, but I am glad that I drew animals that look remotely passable, usually when I drew them they barely look like the animal they're meant to represent. (References!) I didn't get Noel's leg right... Drawing the clock was fun, though. I got advice from a friend about how to make the colors look a little more cohesive. And as you can see, I used a stock wood grain texture again, you're going to see this a lot. I also used a stock rug texture, and used a photo I had taken as what's in the window. (I was tired when I finished the lineart, and realized I'd have to draw the outside... but I really didn't feel like doing that, so I just... didn't...)
Funnily enough, initially this was a split drawing with a line down the middle, because I wasn't sure how to make incorporate both Noel having a cat and Sirius having a dog into one drawing. But turns out like, the way I had drawn it, they already looked like they could be in the same room next to each other, so near the end of the lineart stage I just took down the line between them.
Date Night [Prompt/Idea Notes]
So this one is just from a basic college AU when (in the AU) Sirius is just now starting to fall for Noel after Noel has been pining for him for a long time. Unfortunately it's not technically a date because this is in the idiot slowburn denial stage but we can pretend it is, I wanted to draw it because it was a cute scene where their romantic tension really starts up (in the AU). Noel does have long hair but that's only because he cuts it later on in the AU.
Date Night [Art Notes]
The perspective is all over the place... SiriNoel, the booth, the seats, are all drawn in different perspective from one another... Oh well...
I used stock wood grain again. The stuff in the back is all photos I took with an oil paint filter on them (I'm not sure if that comes across, I feel like the oil paint filter doesn't do enough to make it clear they're meant to be paintings rather than framed photos). (Honestly, I was sort of looking for an excuse to integrate my photos into my art somehow... and it happened to make things easier for me too, so...)
I'll be honest that I'm not happy with most of my drawings lately, so I don't have much to say other than complaining about the things I don't like, which is just a downer... Hopefully I'll have something more positive to say tomorrow.
Once again participating in karamielo's SiriNoel Week!
[long commentary yap under the cut]
Overall Prompt/Idea Notes
What I wanted to do with these pieces was primarily: to communicate pre-existing ideas that I already have and care about. Last year, I somewhat tried to do this, but there were quite a few prompts where I pulled something out of thin air or scrapped my original idea, because I had decided what I wanted to draw from the ideas already in my head was "too far out of my skill level to draw yet." My purpose in art, and my impetus for drawing, is in general to communicate ideas I have about the world(s) inside my head, so it's honestly depressing how often I opt out of doing that in favor of some hypothetical future where I'm "good enough" at art to do what made me want to draw in the first place. (Honestly, this is why so much of my art is just jokeposts, because it was much easier to express jokey ideas with my skill level.) I've also been long aware that avoiding drawing things that are "too far out of your skill level" is what hinders progress in the first place...
I find myself having trouble choosing an idea to draw, so a challenge like this is a perfect opportunity for me, since the prompts give inspiration. Maybe a little overly-reflective for a ship drawing challenge, but, true nonetheless... Anyway, since these are mostly ideas I already care about and have lore for, expect more yapping about the ideas than last year.
Overall Art Notes
My goal artistically is for the pieces to be significantly better than last year - that's pretty much it. I haven't been drawing much lately due to... life hell, but I want to get back into the swing of it and feel like I've improved since then.
I don't like the brush I used throughout the set. I meant to choose a different but similar one. Alas, sunk-cost fallacy. I have to do the whole set in this brush now.
I'm finally using references?!? Like I always knew I should?!?
Ocean [Prompt/Idea Notes]
You knew I had to do my little mermaid AU again 😅 Same AU for the first drawing this year too, huh? Well, I think it's fairly justified given the prompt.
This is the equivalent scene of the prince being saved by the mermaid… well, except Sirius isn't a prince and Noel isn't a mermaid (*he is a merperson I just mean he's not female, but yeah Sirius is just a normal guy not a prince in this AU). My idea is Noel had finally made it to the surface for the first time in his life, wishing to see the stars, but it was cloudy, so he watched humans from far away instead, mainly Sirius (they don't have any - direct - past history with one another in this AU - Noel has history with Claire and Claire has history with Sirius but the two never met directly).
Sirius was standing on a dock on a hidden beach, and was about to leave when it suddenly started storming and he got knocked into the water (and he can't swim!). Noel tries to save him (he understands humans need to breathe air + Sirius is unconscious) but can't return him to the beach due to it being enclosed by a cliff which the waves are now crashing against, so he manages to find a boat and the people on the boat spot them and are able to help Sirius, and they try to help Noel since they don't know he's not a human, but obviously Noel just goes back under.
Ocean [Art Notes]
Okay. I'm aware you can barely see SiriNoel. When I was making the drawing I really wanted it to be muddy and low visibility to suit the tone, but kept fighting with myself on it because making it muddy and low visibility... you know, makes it so you can't see the drawing well. So I kept switching between low visibility to suit the tone and higher visibility to see the drawing, and eventually I just gave up because I cared about the emotional tone more then the... quality of the piece. It's an intentional artistic choice guys, trust.
I think the ocean looks better at least than last year's ocean (references!! you're going to hear me scream a lot about references because they're heaven lmao). I also color theory'd it up... kinda. Rather than making them their default colors and putting an overlay on it I just made them like, very blue tinted. I think that's something. To be honest I don't think the way I drew them floating looks very natural though.
I'm not super happy with it, other than thinking that the waves are pretty decent, it just doesn't look great to me since the linework feels low effort in general, but it does convey the mood I wanted.
Sky [Prompt/Idea Notes]
So, I was stumped on this one because when you think of SiriNoel and sky you kinda. Have. To do something star related, but every SiriNoel artist and their grandma has already drawn them stargazing, including me last year. I wanted to do maybe something to do with the Sirius star but that would be Noel-focused and I've already drawn Noel gazing longingly at that star in the past, so. I kinda opted to do the inverse of that drawing I made of Noel admiring the star but also feeling it represents the pain and the longing and the guilt, where I instead had Sirius looking at the stars.
This is before anyone arrived at the mansion - I think being alone he'd let his pride slip a lot more than he'd ever admit to anyone else and sometimes give into a sense of nostalgia in the absence of the presence of people, so I think he'd probably look at the stars sometimes and just be reminded of Noel (and to some extent Claire) and when they used to look out the window together. I had the idea that I'd make a second sketch where he looks away (as if to say "who cares about that anyway") but I was too tired so just pretend it happened.
Sky [Art Notes]
It's okay! The window panes don't look great, but also, this is the first time I've drawn window panes without just... putting a low opacity white layer over it, so that's a start. I still can't draw a night sky well, but I did try (whereas last year I'm pretty sure I just used a stock photo). The wood grain texture... is stolen from a free stock photo, because I still don't feel like drawing that shit.
I think what color I decided to use for the lighting is inconsistent, but... overall, I really like how I did Sirius's hair and even his outfit kinda, and the window's not too bad.
im curious about your thoughts on the hangman’s tree and how it connects with noel!! if u have anything to share about this please do! (btw i love and appreciate all cool things u do for witchs heart</3)
hello! i actually made a post about this before, though my opinion from that post is a bit outdated (there's nothing majorly wrong with it, i would just put a bit differently) so i think this a good opportunity to tell you about what i think about it nowadays
i'm sorry anon you're in for a very long post
also thank you a lot for your appreciation :D
content warning for extensive discussion of suicide and hanging - witch's heart spoilers
firstly, i want to establish two basic assumptions about hangman's tree that i kind of always start from when analyzing it. i'm not sure whether these are universal feelings about the story, so i didn't want to assume they were true without explaining why.
a. hangman's tree is fictional and doesn't actually exist. i don't know whether or not that's an obvious point, but it does sort of suit the, for lack of a better word, 'vibe' of witch's heart, so i can imagine someone plausibly believing it exists in the universe. that being said, i just feel like the lore never goes out of its way to establish any sort of fact or avenue of magic that would lend itself to the idea of hangman's tree being true, which i feel like it would if that was the intent (like, i think it'd come up again, i could be proven wrong in later games, but that's what i think for now), and the way it's spoken about so plainly and confidently like it exists is really what makes me think it doesn't, because i don't think noel would turn it into a story where he confidently explains its existence if he knew it actually was real.
and b. hangman's tree is trying to say something about noel's character. it seems like the way the scenarios are designed, this is likely to be the first (or second if you count the bad end) scenario you play, and as such, this is the first real impression a lot of players have to get about what exactly is going on with noel, and of course the story wouldn't have been put there if there was no reason for it to be there. sirius also tells a story that's clearly saying something about his character (though i think what it's saying is a bit more obvious and less cryptic). i think this is also probably obvious, but i think a lot of what i read into the story is more of a leap if you don't go in with the explicit understanding that the story is trying to say something about him
so, the thing about hangman's tree that gets me is that we don't know its origin. i like to think it's a story noel came up with because it feels kind of specific to him, but we've also not had any particular evidence that noel comes up with stories, though it is a headcanon i like. it's also possible that he heard this and it appealed to him because of how much it seems to connect to him. it seems like everyone else at the table was telling stories that they heard, rather than stories that they came up with... so it might also be the case that this is true for noel? then again, considering it's a timeloop that only noel has knowledge of (at this point), it's possible noel was the only one that had the time to come up with his own story to tell rather than just retelling something he had already read about/heard/witnessed. i tend to assume he came up with the story because that's more interesting, but i think the meaning does change somewhat if you assume it's a pre-existing story he latched onto, so keep that in mind. i do at the very least think his telling of it/the way he chooses to present it his original perspective on it.
so: i think the first thing i have to say about the content about the story itself is about these lines
Have you ever thought that you wanted to die?
Regardless of whether or not you were serious, surely you have at least once?
and to me these lines communicate that noel is hereby taking it as a given that feeling suicidal is a universal feeling. i don't think it's necessarily wrong, i don't think it's particularly rare to be or have been suicidal at some point in the past, but it is nonetheless a telling assumption. basically, it is also indirectly saying that he has been suicidal at some point, which, given what else we know about his character, yeah 😭 i think it's the closest we ever come to explicit confirmation of this fact though, as all of noel's other behavior that could be read as vaguely suicidal in nature is never explicitly put in terms of him saying "i want to die" or something like that. so this establishes a point of view to consider about the story: that noel is or has been suicidal.
considering the subject material, i also think it's fair to consider the point of view that noel's mother committed suicide by hanging herself, though we were never told if she hung herself on a tree specifically.
Those wishes find themselves granted… by the Hangman's Tree.
The Hangman's Tree requires no preparation; it already has a noose hanging from it.
People who find it, as if drawn in, will apparently hang themselves just like that.
…Where is the tree? It's surprisingly near to us all.
It could be a tree by a quiet park.
It could be a tree adding a red hue to a mountain.
It could be one of the overgrown trees outside this mountain.
...All trees that exist in the world have the potential to be Hangman's Trees.
so... i mentioned this in my initial analysis, but something i feel about hangman's tree is that the beginning of the story feels more metaphorical than magical. i think the story presents itself as being entertwined with magic, but it feels clear to me that the beginning of the story is reframing the suicidal state of mind in way that places more emphasis on the tree than the person, and as such makes it appear more magical.
from what i understand, most people won't actually follow through with suicide if all the preparation is not already there, or if something gets in the way. since it's a volatile mindstate, it's very subject to be thrown off if not everything is already set up correctly (this is reframed as) -> the tree doesn't require preparation
any tree could be someone's method of suicide, the world reframes itself as hostile when that's how you feel -> the tree could be anywhere
but a couple of later lines are definitely the most telling/what made me assume in the first place that this is a reframed version or reality rather than meant to be about magic:
Oh, and there's one important condition that all these trees have in common.
That is… thinking about wanting to die.
Hangman's Trees will appear before people who want to die.
They push the backs of those who lack the courage to follow through.
so we have a magic tree that people "suddenly" hang themselves on, "as if drawn in," but the tree only appears before people who already want to die, so it's not actually a mystery as to why everyone who sees one seems to "suddenly" commit suicide. the reframing here is:
only suicidal people see "hangman's trees," only suicidal people would hang themselves if they only they had the chance, only suicidal people would see every tree as a potential method -> the tree only appears before people who want to die
i also think the line about "pushing the backs of those who lack the courage to follow through" very much plays into the aforementioned idea of someone who would be quickly swayed out of attempting suicide if not everything was in the right place for them to do it, the kind of person who could only ever get to a point of following through if their method was made very easy for them to access. it seems like the only part of the story that is specifically unnatural is that the tree has a method already prepared on it.
But there are a few conditions for a normal tree to become a Hangman's Tree.
And they differ depending on the tree.
A tree that becomes a Hangman's Tree if you step your right foot toward it on a rainy day, while wanting to die.
A tree that becomes a Hangman's Tree, if you close one eye and whistle as you approach it, while wanting to die.
A tree that becomes a Hangman's Tree, if you approach it at 2:36 AM, while wanting to die.
Some trees have simple conditions, while others are more complex. And it can depend on the state of the tree.
If its branches are broken… If it has flowers on it… If it has 27 bugs on it…
If it's 158 years old… If it's changing color in the fall… If there's a white paper tied to it…
Complicated, isn't it?
Well, when those conditions are met, a Hangman's Tree will be born.
so, the fact that what conditions it has to be in aren't specific beyond "wanting to die" further reinforces the idea that it's more like the fact of "any conditions could hypothetically be the case for someone to commit suicide" being re-framed as some kind of magic. but i think there's a further meaning to this, and i think that's kind of what i wanted to phrase in a better way than when i originally made my first analysis. i mentioned in on of my recent posts that i read noel's character as someone who learned to be in a constant bargaining state with reality/his life that he developed because of his traumatic childhood, and that i felt that this was somewhat what hangman's tree was about (but i didn't clarify much about that within the post itself).
these lines read to me like the arbitrary attachments a person makes when they're desperate, especially when it's someone who feels in their heart like death is the only way out but has trouble actually accepting that and believes there has to be some way out, since those are contradictory perspectives i think it can put you in a state of bargaining, like, "if things don't go in this specific way i'll do it," or "if nothing happens by this time i'll do it"... and the way those markers can becoming increasingly more arbitrary and nonsensical. like, this really plays into a feeling of randomness, on the way small details - very small details, like what color the sky is, how many tiles are on the sidewalk - seem to zoom in and become important when you're suicidal. incidentally (or not) i think this is also the kind of state you could be in that would make you particularly prone to not following through with a suicide attempt unless it's very immediately convenient to do so. i'm not sure how much this was the intent with those lines, but that's how they read to me.
i've mentioned in the past that i think it's very possible, if not likely, that noel was suicidal as a kid and that potentially was going to or planning to attempt suicide before he met claire. i go back and forth on whether it's possible that this was the intention, but it is something i think about a lot that i feel contextualizes a lot of my previous analysis if it were to be true, that the story thus far seems to describe what it's like to be suicidal for some people and inventing a scenario where the coincidences line up in the right way to which they make the choice to follow through. noel met claire by basically coincidence, so you could say it taps into the idea that had it been on another day or if the weather had been different or if he'd be near different trees... etc.
the choice to reframe the story is interesting (if it is a choice noel made and that was intentional on the part of IZ). it seems to be like a sort of childish fairytale logic applied to suicide, saying "people who are compelled to die by magic trees kill themselves" instead of saying "people kill themselves when they want to die and have the opportunity," which i find interesting because noel does somewhat have a fondness for childish fairytale logic.
i want to talk about patricia though also. the truth is that i'm not sure how much the story relates to her, since there's no way noel (or most likely, anyone at all) knew exactly what she was thinking or feeling when she killed herself, and presumably, she wasn't part of the group of people that need to be able to kill themselves with no setup, otherwise they'll be swayed out of it, because i would assume that she brought and tied a noose herself and not that she found one just hanging somewhere. at least i think that is the most reasonable assumption right now. at the same time, there's no way it's a coincidence that this story is about suicide by hanging specifically. i feel like that must be the reason this imagery was chosen, even if i'm not convinced the story is necessarily about her in any particular way.
i mentioned in my previous analysis something i still think could be true: re, the childish fairytale logic, i can't help but think that this is an explanation a child could come up with for why their parent killed themself. "they didn't kill themself, the tree made them do it," shifting the object of agency. i don't think this is literally an explanation noel would have come up with for why patricia died as a kid, but i do think it's notable that the logic feels childish in that way.
Now, here's what's really scary…
There actually exist Hangman's Trees that appear even if you don't want to die.
Those trees… appear in your dreams.
But the Hangman's Trees in dreams may be real or fake.
Most are fake, so hanging yourself from them won't actually cause you die.
In fact, dreams where you hang yourself are said to be premonitions of great fortune. Even if they may not make you feel good.
…However, if you hang yourself from a real Hangman's Tree…
It may not be possible, but you should try your best to wake up.
…If you don't…
You won't just die… You'll go straight to hell.
i find this part of the story always hardest to decipher. the "going to hell" line is always what makes me want to think noel came up with this story, but i have trouble parsing what it all actually means. it doesn't really follow my interpretation for the first part of the story at all and seems to make a more explicitly magical turn. so we have this idea - "sometimes when you hang yourself in a dream, even if you don't want to die, you'll go to hell."
it introduces a lot of questions:
why are hangman's trees in dreams only sometimes real?
why does it send you to hell when normal hangman's trees just kill you?
why does it work even when you don't want to die, as opposed to normal ones
how does this continue from the first part of the story/how does it connect?
i'll be honest that i don't have a great answer, i've never come up with an interpretation of this last part that flows well with my interpretation with the rest of the story, or that entirely satisfies me. but i'll do my best.
i think some of these conditions might be alluding to the idea that the reasons people get sent to hell are somewhat random and arbitrary. to be honest this is true in general but especially true for noel who was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. like, the idea that it might only happen "sometimes" - therefore you can never really be sure when it's going to happen to you, you can't prepare for it, it's random
a thought that i've had is that the way this carries over from the previous part is that, it mentions it works when you don't want to die. hypothetically, we can carry over the feelings of the first part and imagine that that this is trying to evoke a sense of tragedy, kind of saying, you can still face the worst fate even if you don't want it (anymore). i mentioned in the past that dreams being a state of low control (alongside perhaps tying into the previous point that getting sent to hell feels very random) and them being mentioned here could potentially be alluding to the idea of fearing that you've doomed yourself to eventually die as a result of your suicidal tendencies / or more directly, maybe playing into noel's seeming internal sense like he was doomed to be as he was from the start, like he was always going to suffer the worst possible fate, even if he achieved temporary happiness.
i'm not sure how i feel about that since it all feels ... like a stretch. i think it might be an idea that's present somewhere there, but i don't think it maps neatly. the lines feel a little too literal for it to be that exactly. like he puts too much emphasis on the little details, how hanging dreams are usually good fortune, you should try to wake yourself up, etc
as a result of feeling the lines have a more literal feeling, i've also had the idea that maybe noel had a dream like this before he went to hell, though i fear that is a far too literal interpretation
if you try to apply the "shifting the object of agency" logic here, it doesn't really work either. if anyone has ideas, let me know, but... reverse enginnering "only suicidal people want to hang themselves" from "hangman's trees only appear for people who want to die" is pretty intuitive, but reverse engineering something from "but hangman's trees in dreams can send you to hell even if you don't want to die" just doesn't click for me, and as such i feel like it'd be a stretch to try.
if i had to come up with any interpretation of these lines, it'd be, "they don't plainly represent any one thing, they just potentially allude to feelings that are perhaps similar to ones that noel has felt about his own situation, without literally representing any of them." not the most satisfying answer, but it's the best i've got 🤔 (and to be fair, i feel that way about the whole thing, i don't know if my construction of reframing is necessarily exactly how it was made, i am at least in that case pretty sure it is at least alluding to these ideas in a way that reframes them) it kinda sucks because i feel like i have such a solid interpretation of the first part, but i can never make it flow as neatly into the second, and i'm not sure the two wholly connect in some neat way, other than the hangman's tree being used as a way to communicate a horrible fate
so yep that's my interpretation, thank you anon :D
here have a pretty much baseless noel interpretation (vague discussion of abuse n mentions of suicidality)
i keep thinking about, like
thinking you're supposed to be safe, realizing you're not, realizing there is no true refuse, realizing that any action of meaningful resistance or any possible way to make it better makes it worse, and the mental trap that puts you in, the crazy and awful resilience of a brain under that pressure, unable to just believe that it just is this way, unable to cope with something so awful, constantly tricking itself into believing that if you bargain harder or if you cry harder or if you break harder or if you just try anything that you haven't already tried, things will have to get better eventually, right? something will hit its breaking point and something will finally change because this can't just be it
repeating this process every day for years and knowing you are basically practicing insanity by expecting it to actually work (and knowing deep down it won't), living in a constant state of bargaining with reality (a reality that does not actually respond to your bargaining), bargaining with your own life, placing the "final breaking moment" onto some arbitrary indicator or object as another bargain, another way out, (this is kind of what i read hangman's tree as being about), only for for things to just keep going anyway, spiraling forward into the most desolate possible future and needing to stop it but being unable to so you just trick yourself over and over because you can't do anything else because your situation is inescapable, feeling trapped by the own delusional tricks of your mind but knowing that's all there is for you, waiting for an angel, a miracle, hoping you will finally snap and just change something, gain the will to fight it, but no matter how hard you wish, you never do it, you always stay too paralyzed in fear because you've learned how much worse it will get if you do. basically, the effect of perpetually existing in a constantly impossible/inescapable situation
(incidentally, i feel like lime was probably similar, something i personally felt like is the source of their parallels, except i think this mindset didn't exactly have the same staying power for her after she died)
we don't really know the nature of noel's abuse but i always read it like this is kind of how it was, in some sense, because genuinely i feel the mindset created in that situation is one you never really unlearn and sooo would predispose you to the kind of shit that noel does. the decision paralysis, the constant unsure bargaining with the situation that ends in stubbornness no matter how unsure he seems, feeling if he just forces the situation hard enough to work it has to eventually, no matter what body of evidence is against him because it's not rational because it can't be, constantly checking with other people on whether it will work as if just getting enough advice would finally be enough, constantly waiting for a secret way out despite this (i read his suicidal tendencies as - in part - being a part of him wishing it would be over but knowing he can't otherwise end it), constant frustration with the situation and feeling like if it's not working you haven't tried hard enough but instead of that motivating you to try harder it just makes you feel like the universe is punishing you for not being good enough because you've already tried everything so the idea that you need to try harder makes you hopeless (i read his more frustrated scenes like this), the way despite his stubbornness some part of him seems to have given up, the TIMELOOP, the most literal possible manifestation of a mindset like this, the fear of moving forward, like my god, noel just makes so much sense to me
(^ calling this baseless because while i absolutely do think "noel is like this because of learned behavior from past trauma" is absolutely an intended part of his character i don't think it's necessarily meant to be this type of learned behavior
also there's more i could say about attachment and grief and identity and guilt but i'm just focusing on the bargaining part)
Hello all! I want to show you a project I've been working on for a very very long time now.
This is a multipurpose project. The primary purpose of the project is to source every track that plays at some point in Witch's Heart, as despite there existing a music credits section in the games, it is pretty hard to track down which song comes from which credit for various reasons. Some of the credits are just music hosting sites, not the sites of specific creators, and many of the sites credited are now defunct or otherwise impossible to access, and many songs don't have any clear indication of which credit they came from. The various credit sections provide a full breakdown of the song title, who made the song, what site it was from, and other details when relevant.
Other features include:
A list of the metadata of each file.
Various pages grouping the tracks by different metrics.
A full, detailed breakdown of every use of every track in the games.
Of the 323 tracks found in the files across the games, 311 of them have been sourced. (Excluding unused tracks, the number would instead be 302 tracks, 293 of which have been sourced.)
Help With the Project
The project is in need of assistance. Namely:
12 tracks are in need of a source.
36 tracks have been sourced but still have other information about them missing/would ideally be sourced in better ways than they are currently.
111 names (author or song names) need translation from someone who speaks Japanese.
In general, the spreadsheet needs a second pair of eyes on it to make sure everything is correct.
I hope that posting this project will lead to a few of these gaps being filled in. If you would like to help or already have some of this information, please read the "Information Credits" and "To-Do" sections of the spreadsheet.
Unlike most other posts I make, I would like to spread this post as far as I can, because the more people see this, the more likely the information is to be found, so reblogs or shares to those that might have info are appreciated 🙏
consider if you will: kid noel goes to the mansion as early in the morning as possible, so he somestimes sits outside for hours and hours just waiting for anyone to wake up
also consider: he sometimes sneaks away to the mansion in the middle of the night. he doesn't knock on the door or try to go inside, he just sits there on the front steps, wishing they would wake up sooner
idea: ive thrown around the idea of immortal noel to myself before because i knew he would hate it and i like angst, but consider an immortal noel who gets into a timeloop not to save his loved ones from a horrible fate but because he doesn't want to be alone living without them so he just keeps repeating the timespan in which they're alive over and over again
