lovers

Noel Gardner. 42. Happily Married. Romeo Opizzi. 29. In Love.

[deforest]

Ava Gardner & Robert Walker in ONE TOUCH OF VENUS (1948)         dir. William A. Seiter

[anniehartford]

you won’t play, you’re no fun / well, i don’t care what they think / i’m not unhinged or unhappy, i’m just wild / i’m on the run, with you my sweet love / there’s nothing wrong with contemplating god

[vampire-diariesgifs]

[forever-may-you-run]

If I had to explain my relationship in one text this would be it

[kateendler]

noeletromeo​:

It was never easy. Sometimes he didn’t know what to say. Sometimes he misinterpreted her words. Sometimes he got caught up in his own emotions. But he never blamed her. The only reason it was difficult and not easy, was because it wasn’t easy watching the person you love in pain.  

“I’m sorry… Of course you remember… It wasn’t your fault, Kate. It was never your fault. I won’t let him convince you otherwise. He’s not coming anywhere near you. Never, not while I’m here… Unless… You wanted to confront him… But you wouldn’t be alone,” he looked at her, wishing to impart his sincerity. "That’s what I’m trying to say. I’ll be here, to remind you who you are. I promise. You’re not alone in this.” Noel didn’t know what kind of closure Kate needed. But he could promise he’d be there for her, no matter what.  

As soon as she hid her face behind her hands, Noel’s face softened. “No, don’t be sorry,” he protested gently, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, and placing his hand on her thigh. He cursed the console between them, unable to pull her into his embrace. "Who said anything about today being fun and normal?” He asked, imparting a light chuckle. “Please. Don’t be embarrassed. Not for my sake.” After she pinched the bridge of her nose, Noel smiled, tilting his head to the side as his hand left her thigh to comb a lose strand of hair behind her ear. “You didn’t ruin today. I know that you’re stable. I’d be more concerned if you didn’t have any reaction at all. You haven’t seen him since…. Since the restraining order we put out together.”

He shook his head, “The only reason I’m upset, is because of him.” He leaned back into his driver’s seat, and as he pulled away from Kate, he reached up to check his rear-view mirror. It was obvious he was looking for Matt. “What do you say, we go home?… Before I call the police…” He looked away from the mirror once he was satisfied that Matt was nowhere to be seen. “We can do whatever you want; if you want to talk about it, we can talk about it. We could lay down on our mattress in the middle of the living room, and do nothing. Or we could even start a fire, and burn stuff. I want to ‘deal’ with this. You look after me, I’ll look after you.”

Kate shook her head slightly when he began apologizing, not wanting him to feel bad for caring. She appreciated the way he looked out for her, the way he wanted to be involved with the unsavory parts of her life. Though she knew he was just trying to cover all of his bases. she shook her head a bit more firmly when he suggested she may want to confront Matt. “No, I don’t - No. I’m okay,” she replied quietly, briefly biting at her thumb nail.  Still, she was comforted by the sentiment that this was something he wanted to take part in. He had never shied away from helping her, but the reminders never went unappreciated. 

Again, she felt some sense of relief as he attempted to comfort her, though it only slightly masked her embarrassment for the reaction she had. At his reminder of how long it had been since she had seen her ex-husband, she nodded slowly. Had it really been that long? But he was right, that was part of her reaction. While she had gotten mostly used to dealing with her existing trauma, she hadn’t had to deal with the feeling of seeing him again. She felt like she had existed in a bubble in her relationship with Noel, a happy one at that. It had never crossed her mind that Matt could exist in the same sphere as that.

When Noel glanced in the mirror, Kate couldn’t help but glance behind herself as well. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting to happen, but she still felt relieved to see no one standing behind the car. “We don’t need to call the police,” she replied softly, the beginnings of a smile appearing at her lips. Something about that word, home, brought her a sense of peace. Despite the fact that her ex had been here, she would go back to her home she shared with Noel. Her life was infinitely better than it had been. Her smile fully appeared as he laid out their options, feeling like she was back where she was comfortable. “Do I tell you enough how much I love you?” she asked softly, her voice earnest as she leaned up and over the console to kiss him. “Thank you for being so understanding. It’s been a while since I’ve… well, felt like that. I think it’s easier to get through now, or get out of, having you here.” It was true. She did feel as though she was in a much better place, and her happy relationship was a large part of it. “We should go home. I’m really intrigued by what you think we should burn. But, if you still feel up for it, I think I could still really use our original plan. Takeout, wine… whatever distraction you were planning,” she teased softly.

[noeletromeo]

“You could stand to mention it more,” Noel grinned fondly, as he saw the smile return to Kate’s face. He was only teasing however, as there really wasn’t a day that went by, which didn’t consist of them telling the other that they loved them. “Hey, we have a fireplace, why don’t we use it?” he shrugged jokingly, a small smile on his face as he reached across to take her hand. “You don't have to thank me. I'm here for you, and I’m always up for whatever you’re up for,” Noel said softly, before squeezing her hand.

That night, Noel and Kate sat on their mattress in the middle of the living room, re-watching one of their favourite shows, VEEP, and eating Chinese take away. They had a small fire going in their fireplace, and the pumpkins they had bought sat in the corner of the room, ready to be carved when it came closer to Halloween and the Halloween party they were having on the same day. A part of Noel was still slightly concerned over what had happened during their trip to the supermarket, but he didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, at least, as long as Kate didn’t. Once they were finished with dinner, and were onto slowly sipping their wine, Noel put down his glass and rolled over on the mattress, pulling Kate into his embrace. “C’mere,” Noel smirked, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, and began peppering her neck with kisses. Just as things were getting heated however, Noel heard a knock on the door. He frowned, his head coming up from her neck and instinctively turning towards the living room window which looked out onto their front porch. There was clearly nothing outside, from what he could see, though the front door still needed to be checked. “Seriously? It’s nearly 8 o'clock..." Noel grumbled, as he moved to get up from the mattress.

[amazingamyadams]

[tenderblues]

Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe

[mariodaymiller]

[anniehartford]

who else is gonna put up with me this way? / i need you, i breathe you, i’d never leave you / they would rue the day i was alone without you / you’re lying with your gold chain on / cigar hanging from your lips / i said, ‘hon, you never looked so beautiful as you do now, my man’

[anniehartford]

noeletromeo​:

Romeo watched Annie carefully. She was entirely defeated. This was exactly what he’d dreaded. Exactly why didn’t want to get involved. He’d taken advantage of a young, naïve, farm girl and now they had nothing, save for the clothes on their back. Romeo was sure however, that Annie would give herself more credit than that. And Romeo didn’t like calling her naïve either. But in the end, he was the one who knew better. He was the one she’d trusted to protect her, and he’d failed in every conceivable way. “I’ll fix it,” he repeated stubbornly, turning his head to face the wall. He couldn’t look at her. How could he? As she began talking again, wave upon wave of guilt hit him. He raised his fist into the air. If he were not so tired, he would have punched the wall. Instead, he dejectedly let his fist fall against it, before he leaned forward to rest his forehead against his fist. He stood, schlumped in this position until he heard Annie begin to sniff.

Slowly, he turned. As much as he couldn’t bear to face her, it was worse to see her tearing up. He’d said he’d loved her, didn’t he? He sure had a funny way of showing it. Ruining her life, and then letting her sit there and take all the blame. He was aware of the fact that he was being too quiet. He didn’t even know where to begin. But he willed himself to take some form of action. “I’m sure there is something in here, for you to sleep in.” He opened their bag, only now taking the time to assess what Annie had grabbed from his closet. It was stuffed to the brim with clothing. Mostly his, and also mainly jackets, like he’d asked for. At least they wouldn’t be cold. He pulled out a shirt. “Here,” he handed it to her. “Take off your clothes, they’re dirty. You can sleep in this.”

After a few moments, with himself also changing into a set of clothes, he sat down on the edge of the bed beside Annie. “Come here. I’ll keep you warm,” he motioned gently, pushing her down onto the bed atop his coat which she’d laid out for herself. He then grabbed the coat he’d been wearing, and used it to cover Annie. He doubted she’d want to use the sheets, considering she didn’t even want to lay on the mattress. As she was sandwiched in between his two coats, Romeo wrapped his arm around Annie, squeezing her tight as he spooned her. “It’s not your fault they’re dead. Valentine was going to kill Leo whether or not you took the job. Besides, he forced you into it. If anything, Annie, you bought him an extra few months, while they let you get close to him.” It was Romeo’s fault, that he hadn’t caught onto their ploy to frame Annie sooner. “You don’t need to blame yourself for Leo’s death. Least of all, the other two men. I killed them. Not you.”

Annie nearly argued with him when he assured her there was something in the bag for her to sleep with. That wasn’t her fear, technically. There was nothing of hers in there. Everything of hers was far away now. But to argue with him about her clothes of all things felt so small, so insignificant, that it felt better to just say nothing, sniffling again and turning her face away from him and the bag. Suddenly, she felt as though she were just a child who had been caught play-acting as a grown woman. Her tears embarrassed her, the weight of their situation scared her, and she desperately wanted someone to tell her what to do. An easy fix to everything. Of course, it couldn’t be that way. Instead, she took the shirt he offered, thanking him and blinking her tears away. She felt unattractive when she cried anyway, she didn’t need to make a whole scene of it. As she took her clothes off, she noticed light bruising on her arms where she had been held back forcefully just a day prior. She wasn’t sure if she was more surprised that she hadn’t noticed or considered this, or that it had really just been one day since they had gone out on the road. 

 Without making a fuss, she put on Romeo’s shirt, far too exhausted to worry about anything else. Climbing into bed besides him, Annie did feel grateful that he had given her his jackets, giving her an option to remain untouched by whatever lived on these sheets. Tucking her legs closer to her body, she was able to remain mostly covered by his jacket, backing up to get even closer to the warmth and comfort of his chest. He was right, he could keep her warm, but more than warmth she wanted to rest in the familiarity of his hold. She was glad she was facing the wall as he spoke, feeling the hopelessness of their situation wash over her yet again as he tried to comfort her. Though he tried to convince her otherwise, she couldn’t believe him that none of this was her fault. For a moment, she considered fighting with him, arguing yet again that this was all her fault, but it felt rather hopeless. Rather than reply, she pressed a kiss to the back of his hand.

After a moment, still remaining quiet, she turned to face him. Her hand lifted to touch his cheek gently, noticing the the gash that had now scarred near his eye for the first time in a while. Had it really just been months since he had shown up to her apartment, bloodied and bruised? They had lived through so much together in such a short time. How could they ever have known they would end up here? She extended her thumb and traced the scar delicately, following it with her eyes then returning her gaze to his. “I don’t blame you for any of this. I know you blame yourself, I don’t think we’ll agree on who’s to blame,” she stated, as though it were just a fact. “I need you to know that even if this were your fault, I would do everything the exact same way. I would rather be here with you in this motel room than have never approached you that night. All I want right now is to be close to you, in every way.”

[noeletromeo]

Romeo clenched his jaw while she kissed her hand. He could tell she was too tired to put up a fight. Everything about this was wrong. Annie was holding everything in. Romeo hoped it wasn't for his sake. As she turned over to face him, he continued to breathe quietly. Studying her face, the same as she was his. He looked into her eyes, those same eyes which had initially drawn him to her; the second thing he’d noticed, after her voice, the first time he heard her sing at the speakeasy. The same eyes which made it evident to him that she wasn't from Chicago. Her eyes were red, and her face sunken from exhaustion, but he still saw in her, the glimmer that was his Annie. His hand reached up, and he gently smoothed away the hair from her face. At least Chicago was too far behind them to snuff that glimmer out of her now, so long as they didn’t give in to despair.

Her admission that she would do everything the exact same way, made him realize the truth. The most important thing was that she was safe, and they were alive. A part of him still felt as if he didn’t deserve all this loyalty. Reaching for the hand which was stroking his brow, Romeo brought it to his lips, kissing her knuckles. The same as she had done to him. He took in a deep breath through his nose, almost as if he were trying to breathe her in while he held tightly to her hand. "I don't deserve you,” he murmured into her hand, shaking his head. He then swallowed, his nose flaring slightly as he struggled to keep it together. Pressing his lips together, he forced everything down. "You are close to me. You're the most important thing in my life.” He refused to let the hopelessness of their situation consume them. "Don't you worry about a thing. I'm going to take care of everything. We can't go back to Chicago, but there's plenty of other cities. Didn't you always say, you wanted to go to Paris?"

[ladiesofcinema]

you are beautiful, Delysia

[macherierps]

[kateendler]

noeletromeo​:

She told him she needed a minute, and Noel nodded, gently squeezing her knee. She reached for his hand a moment later; her smaller hand sliding over the back of his fingers, and squeezing them together. The corner of Noel’s lips twitched, a slight frown forming. It hurt him, to see her like this. And it more than likely hurt her too, that a mere glimpse of her former husband, sent her into such a spiral. Noel knew her well enough by now, to know that she was kicking herself for reacting this way. She was always so hard on herself. His free hand left the back of her seat, and he gently stroked the back of her head as he leaned over the console. “No, it’s not silly… I was shocked too,” he shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe the odds, before giving a small, reassuring smile as she looked up at him. 

"I wouldn’t let him.” Noel’s voice hardened suddenly, this time having him shake his head in disagreement. “I wouldn’t let him come anywhere near you.” He’d already failed her once. He wasn’t there for her when she’d needed him, after she’d been cornered by her ex in a different car park. The stern look on his face faltered however, once his fury subsided, and Kate’s words were fully able to sink in. He looked away, exhaling before turning back to her, a questioning look in his eyes. He didn’t understand how being face to face with Matt could ever make her doubt what had happened. Nor could he believe that, that man was even capable of being nice and charming. But after everything Noel and Kate had been through, it was easy to forget it had only been two, going on three, years since her divorce. In a way, everything was still fresh. “Kate… I can’t forget the day you walked into my bakery… You were gone for a week, and when you came back, your face was bruised…,” he shook his head at the memory, his jaw clenching. "Listen, I know I wasn’t there in the beginning. And I don’t know what it was like day to day in your marriage. But I do know what I saw. He hurt you. And even if you doubt it. You can trust me, to never, ever think of him in any capacity other than, he’s a monster. I can promise you that.” It was obvious he was frustrated, though his intention was to assure her that he’d never second guess what had happened between her and her ex. 

The feeling of Noel’s hand against the back of her head soothed her somewhat, the way his gentle, measured tone did something to soothe the frayed nerves that shocked her system whenever she had a reaction like this. Kate knew, or at least was convinced, that it must be difficult for him to deal with this amount of energy coming from her. Her panic was all-consuming, overriding her logic. It was his stability that often brought her back out of it.

It was his anger, however, his frustration, that left her feeling embarrassed more than anything. By now, Kate and Noel knew each other well enough that she didn’t need as much reassurance that he wasn’t mad at her. But when that frustration was in some way related to her, she felt embarrassed for even having caused it. Hadn’t she just told him she was moving past all this? Yet here she was, hiding in the car, far too old to feel like this. His tone, the clench of his jaw, she was trained to notice it all. Those details no longer scared her, but as she looked at him, pressing her lips together, she felt responsible for this loop they were stuck in. “It’s not… I  guess, it’s less that I don’t remember it all happening or anything like that. Because I do. It’s more - It’s that so many times I was convinced it was my fault. I don’t want it to happen again but it feels like it could,” she tried to explain, only becoming more frustrated with herself as she felt his frustration. His reassurance should soothe her, but instead it made her feel like she was forcing him into this constant cycle of taking care of her when she should know how already. “God, I’m sorry. I know today was supposed to be fun and normal and I’m - I’m acting like a child. I’m really - It’s embarrassing,” she muttered, shaking her head and slipping her hand from his to press her hands to her face, moving them to press to her cheeks as she let out a sigh. 

“I’m sorry, honey,” she repeated, wishing she could be the type of person who could run into Matt and not acknowledge his existence. Feel hatred rather than fear. Be a stronger person for Noel, rather than be the roadblock in their relationship, the one who couldn’t stop living in the past as he thought of their future. That rush of fear always left her with a nauseating wave of self-hatred. Sighing again, she pinched the bridge of her nose, shaking her head. “I didn’t want to ruin today, I wanted us to have a good day. I - I really did mean it when I told you that I felt better than I had before, and that I felt like I was working through it and I was more stable,” she assured him, glancing back to him again. Of course she remembered that day in the bakery, the way she sought him out after having not left her sister’s house for nearly a week. She remembered all of it, and subsequently everything he had done for her. “I guess I was overwhelmed. I didn’t want to make you deal with this again, I’m sorry for upsetting you.”

[noeletromeo]

It was never easy. Sometimes he didn't know what to say. Sometimes he misinterpreted her words. Sometimes he got caught up in his own emotions. But he never blamed her. The only reason it was difficult and not easy, was because it wasn't easy watching the person you love in pain.  

"I'm sorry... Of course you remember... It wasn't your fault, Kate. It was never your fault. I won't let him convince you otherwise. He's not coming anywhere near you. Never, not while I'm here... Unless... You wanted to confront him... But you wouldn't be alone,” he looked at her, wishing to impart his sincerity. "That's what I'm trying to say. I'll be here, to remind you who you are. I promise. You're not alone in this." Noel didn't know what kind of closure Kate needed. But he could promise he'd be there for her, no matter what.  

As soon as she hid her face behind her hands, Noel's face softened. "No, don't be sorry,” he protested gently, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, and placing his hand on her thigh. He cursed the console between them, unable to pull her into his embrace. "Who said anything about today being fun and normal?" He asked, imparting a light chuckle. "Please. Don't be embarrassed. Not for my sake." After she pinched the bridge of her nose, Noel smiled, tilting his head to the side as his hand left her thigh to comb a lose strand of hair behind her ear. "You didn't ruin today. I know that you're stable. I'd be more concerned if you didn't have any reaction at all. You haven’t seen him since.... Since the restraining order we put out together."

He shook his head, "The only reason I'm upset, is because of him." He leaned back into his driver's seat, and as he pulled away from Kate, he reached up to check his rear-view mirror. It was obvious he was looking for Matt. "What do you say, we go home?... Before I call the police..." He looked away from the mirror once he was satisfied that Matt was nowhere to be seen. "We can do whatever you want; if you want to talk about it, we can talk about it. We could lay down on our mattress in the middle of the living room, and do nothing. Or we could even start a fire, and burn stuff. I want to 'deal' with this. You look after me, I’ll look after you.”

[boydswan]

Caught (1949)

[shesnake]

[takethisride]

me and you could make the whole world jealous

- takethisride

[chrryjuice]

@atvrvxia​

[anniehartford]

noeletromeo​:

As Annie sat up straighter, Romeo’s eyes followed her. She blamed herself, but he was confident it was only going to last till she came to her senses. For now, she was panicked; wasn’t thinking straight. It wouldn’t surprise him if as soon as they settled down, when the reality of their situation was able to catch up with her, she’d turn on him. His hand came up, and the back of his index finger gently ran down her jawline. “I’ll stay with you. Wherever we go. Didn’t I say, we’re partners now? I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” Even if she hated him, he wasn’t going anywhere.

They travelled till sunset, with nobody bothering them. No doubt it must’ve been a circus back home. It was the fact that Annie was a celebrity that made it all the more tantalizing for everyone. It wouldn’t surprise him if the reporters were already raiding her apartment for momentos. The station their train had stopped was another big city. It was the end of the line for the train, and the pair would have to catch a bus to get somewhere more secluded, but it was obvious they were both too exhausted to keep going. They’d been awake for longer than twenty-four hours, and Romeo’s eyes were red and stinging. “We’ll stay in a motel tonight, then leave the city early in the morning. We should still be safe for now.”  

The motel room they ended up booking was cheap and dirty. “It’s only for one night,” he commented, removing his coat. “Annie,” he began. It was difficult to face her, but he owed it to her, to stay strong. “I’ll find a way to fix this. This is only temporary."  

Though normally, Annie more than likely would have turned her nose up at the state of the room, but she was far too exhausted and overwhelmed to even attempt a reaction. On the way, she’d nearly fallen asleep a few times, catching herself as her cheek made contact with Romeo’s shoulder. However, her body seemed to reject sleep, jolting her awake the moment she began to doze. Finally, she was beginning to feel the effects of having gone this long without sleeping. “It’s alright,” she murmured in response to his comment about the room. In reality, the state of the room mattered even less now as she wanted nothing more than to be in her own bed. Her own apartment. She didn’t even want to be in a nice hotel room – what she wanted was to go home.

Looking at the bed, Annie wondered for a moment when those sheets had last been washed. Rather than find herself too disgusted with the thought, she removed Romeo’s jacket and placed it on the bed, sitting on top of it rather than touch the covers. “Romeo…” she sighed, shaking her head, folding her hands in her lap. “There is no fixing this. How could there be? I saw three men die. What’s temporary about that?” she demanded softly, her voice contained no malice. No real desire to argue. “And there’s… I caused their deaths. It’s my fault they’re dead. I don’t care what you have to say, I was the one who was given the job to spy and that job is what caused all of this. How will you fix that?”

Annie sighed softly, looking down to her lap before lifting her chin to look at Romeo again. The sight of him, all things considered, caused a wave of emotion to wash over her. Had she ruined this man’s life? The man she loved? She began to think further back, wishing she had never approached him at the Blind Tiger that night. He wouldn’t have felt obligated to run away with her like this. “You never should have led me away. You should have just… I don’t know. I’m sorry. I wish I had never caused you so much trouble.” All she wanted was to go home. The very thought of her apartment brought another wave emotion, but this time the tears pricked her eyes. Maybe exhaustion was finally winning, or maybe she was finally being given a few moments to let the situation finally weigh on her. “It’s over. It’s all over. Even if - If you could fix it all, this is all anyone would know of me. My career cannot survive this, Romeo. My reputation will never survive this, I… I’m through. I can’t even go home. And neither can you, and that’s my fault.” Annie attempted to blink away her tears, sniffing quietly though she only became more emotional. “And I don’t even have anything to sleep in,” she murmured tearfully, feeling even more distraught over remembering her lack of clothing options. Her clothes were wrinkled from days of travel, and nothing good of hers had been left at Romeo’s to take along. 

[noeletromeo]

Romeo watched Annie carefully. She was entirely defeated. This was exactly what he'd dreaded. Exactly why didn't want to get involved. He'd taken advantage of a young, naïve, farm girl and now they had nothing, save for the clothes on their back. Romeo was sure however, that Annie would give herself more credit than that. And Romeo didn't like calling her naïve either. But in the end, he was the one who knew better. He was the one she'd trusted to protect her, and he'd failed in every conceivable way. "I'll fix it," he repeated stubbornly, turning his head to face the wall. He couldn't look at her. How could he? As she began talking again, wave upon wave of guilt hit him. He raised his fist into the air. If he were not so tired, he would have punched the wall. Instead, he dejectedly let his fist fall against it, before he leaned forward to rest his forehead against his fist. He stood, schlumped in this position until he heard Annie begin to sniff.

Slowly, he turned. As much as he couldn't bear to face her, it was worse to see her tearing up. He'd said he'd loved her, didn't he? He sure had a funny way of showing it. Ruining her life, and then letting her sit there and take all the blame. He was aware of the fact that he was being too quiet. He didn't even know where to begin. But he willed himself to take some form of action. "I'm sure there is something in here, for you to sleep in." He opened their bag, only now taking the time to assess what Annie had grabbed from his closet. It was stuffed to the brim with clothing. Mostly his, and also mainly jackets, like he'd asked for. At least they wouldn't be cold. He pulled out a shirt. "Here," he handed it to her. "Take off your clothes, they're dirty. You can sleep in this."

After a few moments, with himself also changing into a set of clothes, he sat down on the edge of the bed beside Annie. "Come here. I'll keep you warm," he motioned gently, pushing her down onto the bed atop his coat which she'd laid out for herself. He then grabbed the coat he'd been wearing, and used it to cover Annie. He doubted she'd want to use the sheets, considering she didn't even want to lay on the mattress. As she was sandwiched in between his two coats, Romeo wrapped his arm around Annie, squeezing her tight as he spooned her. "It's not your fault they're dead. Valentine was going to kill Leo whether or not you took the job. Besides, he forced you into it. If anything, Annie, you bought him an extra few months, while they let you get close to him." It was Romeo's fault, that he hadn't caught onto their ploy to frame Annie sooner. "You don't need to blame yourself for Leo's death. Least of all, the other two men. I killed them. Not you."