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[noisilyseveregentlemen]

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

you made everything inside me love you the conflics that raged for years in my mind surrender. gave me two kids. you gave me my wildest dreams. hope. peace. love. safety. involnerability. you made me the strongest and weakest person. i wanted you to have that. i want you to have that. idk why im not worth giving the opertunity to give you that. idk why you turned away and when asked every time i got idk....you have to let me in compleatly. i let you in. took down every wall gave up on my fear. trusted you with every secret.every dark part of me. every sorrow. every conflict... i know im alot.. iv lived with me my whole life. its a battle to move somedays. your not supose to carry all that your supose to share all of your pain your darkness your fear your worry everything with me so i can help you carry it....please give them to me. let me be everything you are to me. dont abandon me. dont turn away. not just for me. for you. for the kids. for our family. i dont want them to feel like they werent good enough. to wonder if it was their falt to have that follow them threw life. im out of words but i feel like i have to say something. i cant just let go. your me and i cant give up on me. if im you. dont give up on you. please let me help come hold me let me hold you kiss me let me kiss you stop hiding in the shaddows their scary and hopeless. iv been their and thats no place for you your to wonderful to shut yourself away and stop feeling. please come back from the dark and let me hold you. im trying to reach you stop pushing farther in. im right here come find me so we can light up your world together okay 😀. i loves you. eventually your going to run out of room in their. i wont give up so dont lose hope 😚

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

when i felt your skin touch mine i lost it everything all the sadness all the pain and i just wanted you i wish i was holding you right now i lobe you so much i hope your ok

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

to me lifes about the crazy shit knowing one day youll look back and go how the hell did we survive telling the grankids yeah we poka dot gliterblasted a car we dug holes in the back yard for fire pits and burried the ashes we had a green fire in the front yard 2 foot from the street buring nitro methain fule me and grandma got lost on our honeymoon somehow everything was always 225 the truck i bought the day she called me the first resturant we ever ate at our first house we fought like hell wouldnt speek to eachother for weeks sometimes months others but when we loved everyone was jelous wishing they had what we have. we had winters without heat times when we were so broke we could bearly eat we had times when we litterally thew money away weve had a long crazy wild life sometimes it was all we could do to hold on weather it was because we were moving to fast going in diferent directions or just being to damn stuborn with eachother. yeah were far from perfect but damn has it been interesting. rememver what i told you before you decided to marry me. im not perfect im stuborn im crazy i fight like a monster and i love like no other id never give up on you and it would be a crazy life. well stop and look around...i fucking adore you your my crazy ol lady im going to kiss you with enough passion to change the universe and want to smack you so bad somedays i could shatter stars but i cant because your just so damn irritatingly amazing to me...i need to see you love i know i got a million problems but not one of them is really you their just my demons trying to pull me apart and scare me away from you because when your near me they all dissapear and dont get to torment me.

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

how can loving hurt so much? how can it cripple people? your hurt because you love me im hurt because i love you. how does that make since?

love hurts when its not returned

because its all that matters you love so much you dont care about yourself crippling yourself

it makes since because distance hurts and thats all we have now

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

iv tried to just have dinner with you so many times you wont even do that. im over not being good enough kindness is so exhausting right now it hurts im tierd of running into you damn walls. you win do whatever but never say a damn thing about god again you onky use him to manipulate others you dont follow a damn thing you never left your mother and father for your husband you never put childsh things away you never respected me........it doesnt matter you dont give a fuck anyway or you would have been here. bye

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

when i have to tyoe something for 2 fucking hours and keep trying to post it...it gets more violent because i cut out the good parts...but you dont wana talk so fuck it

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

alone and broken i stand

empty and hollow i am

i will be whole

i will be whole

forever lost

like living threw a hollicost

i will be whole

i will be whole

i shall never fall

i will have it all

i will be whole

i will be whole

with you im together

i will not fetter

i will be whole

i will be whole

i will not give in

that would be the greatest sin

i will be whole

i will be whole

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

regardless of what anyone says. im worth betting on were worth betting on.

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

i love you. life is hell without you. i just want you. forever. in my arms. thats all. no more pain, no more tears, no more sadness. just you. me. the kids. us. please. come home.

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

[noisilyseveregentlemen]

every part if me is begging for every part of you. im just a shell and your everything that was inside me. im weak i never feel good im lost in a void drifting waiting hoping longing for you to find me....i need you to find me love i need to feel whole again

[noisilyseveregentlemen]