Tensura Text Post 2
(The Leon one is funny, cause he's actually French XD)
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@nolas07
Tensura Text Post 2
(The Leon one is funny, cause he's actually French XD)
Has this been done already?
AU Walpurgis:
When you threaten/flirt with the newcomer to make your boyfriend jealous, but nothing with Leon ever goes your way.
Rimuru: Ah, please take your boyfriend back.
Leon: No need, you can keep him.
Rimuru: I insist- I do not want him.
Leon: No take-backsies.
Rimuru: DAMN IT!
----
(They were watching this interaction)
Velzard: I warned you.
Guy: Please let me have a mental break down in peace.
(Y/N), someone with the ability to dimension hop, who uses it to explore various old fandoms they love. Their first world was that of TenSura.
They became a demon lord at some point, timing irrelevant. After the war against Yuuki and Velda, they used their ability to take a break from demon lordhood and explore a separate dimension.
The people of that world attach to them though, and they do the people. Eventually, Y/N builds up a reputation of being unshakeable.
Firstly: The world they are in is one of their old fandoms, so they know everything that happens and why. Secondly: They are a demon lord (in hiding) and thus can simply use sheer force on literally any and all from that dimension to ensure everything plays out how they want.
That's why the following situation caught everyone in that world off guard:
A man comes in. He claims to be an old colleague of yours, and his name is Dino. The people of this world don't know you're from another, so they think he's lying AF.
He says he's taking you away, and no, they won't be seeing you anytime soon. Or more likely, never again.
They say it would never happen. Even with their world's drama settled down, you wouldn't leave them for a stranger, or an old colleague. They do not doubt your love for them.
'Dino' proposes a deal: he can only say one sentence to try and convince you to return with him. If it doesn't work, he leaves, and will never bother either them or you again.
He smiles, sits down, and waits patiently in a place where you won't be able to see him immediately.
You, clueless, only half-listen as your new buddies tell you about the man who's name they forgot, claiming to know you. And that he was trying to take you away. They do not mention the deal
You see him, and smile and wave. "Hey, Dino! Sorry, can I stay with them for a bit longer? Maybe just a few decades? It's not like there's an emergency, after all."
He sighs. "All right, guess I'll just have to tell Guy why you'll be missing this Walpurgis—too bad."
The sheer terror that fills you the second your eldest senpai's name is uttered is visible to everyone, and they are suddenly filled each with a sense of dread.
"WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!! *THAT'S COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY PLEASE DON'T I SWEAR I'LL COME WITH YOU-*"
Dino's smug face is said to be something reserved for when he teases Ramiris, but he made an exception with these strange small fry you had surrounded yourself with as you apologized and left immediately for the world you became a demon lord in.
lowkey if you were a total stranger to just about anyone in the TenSura cast and walked up to them with a sweet smelling box they would be all over you.
CANONICALLY If you made homemade desserts, walked up to LITERALLY any one of the demon lords/heroes/true dragons, and offered said sweets to them they would love you forever-
ESPECIALLY if that friendship and eternal protection entailed you making them more sweets.
I headcanon Guy can't actually feel romantic attraction to anyone.
This is something that has been on my mind since I finished the WN.
He can feel sexual attraction, of course. That's something most all physical beings are capable of feeling, so it's hardly unnatural or unexpected. It's demonstrated in his interactions with Leon. Even if he stopped being capable of having children upon his ascension to first demon lord 20,000 years before canon, that wouldn't effect his ability to be aroused.
He can feel platonic affection, but it's just that- platonic. He's surrounded by women generally of the childish type- his cares deeply for his friends. They are his found family, and the closest he'll ever get to a real one.
This also plays a part in his attraction to Leon. He's surrounded by women he needs to protect like precious little siblings of his. Leon is the first man in his life he remains in relatively constant communication with.
He can feel everything associated with all sorts of romance- but he's simply too old to feel his heart pounding for a s/o's attention. He's simply not capable of it. This was probably solidified when he became a demon lord. It was just too late.
He can't wrap his mind around it. The thought of admiring an equal so strongly- of craving just a small gesture of affection, a small voicing of approval. He sees it, of course- and he can recognise it when it's there- but he'll never feel it himself.
A part of him knows this, and knows this well. He'll never experience the way the world supposedly brightens the moment the perfect someone looks him in the eyes. And he doesn't feel bad about it. It fascinates him- that enigmatic emotion, but he knows he won't ever understand it. Again, this doesn't upset him in the slightest.
-even at the times he so wished he could replicate Velzard's feelings so that she would feel less alone. One can't miss that which they never had, after all. And it's not like he was surrounded by it- forced to watch as all but him experience those mysterious joys. He only ever really sees it through passerby's when he's walking with Leon through El Dorado.
He's simply too old to see those around him as anything but little children. Some may be his 'children' but they are still children in the eyes of his dark, dusty heart.
I think this goes for all primordials. Maybe Ramiris, as well.
And since True Dragons are the exception to the fertility rule, their the exception to this rule too. In fact- true dragons are extremely quick to fall in love with those willing to give them companionship. They fall fast, hard, and forever.
BUT if he did ever 'fall in love', it would probably be with a s/o something along the lines of:
-ANIME ONLIES BEWARE OF SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT-
•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-•-
tw: cussing
AUs where black butler characters ended up in our world is cool and all but like WHAT ABOUT A TENSURA AU WHERE IT'S BASICALLY SENTIENT TWISTED WONDERLAND BUT WITH THE SLIME CHARACTERS AND CERTAIN SCENES ARE ALTERED OR REDONE FOR THE SAKE OF FITTING THE CHARACTER PERSONALITIES IN AND THESE FUCKERS ARE DRAGGING YOUR ASS DOWN TO THE PITS OF HELL WITH THEM WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT
I don't understand how authors can handle writing Leon smut like I just can not handle it he's way too emotionally stunted and pretty
Like I just want to pinch his cheeks and play with his hair and coddle him and speak to him in baby talk and annoy him to absolute death
Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care
Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck
Well, OP, I’m officially invested in this shit. Your whiny ass is doing self care if I have to drive to your goddamn house and do it for you.
By Talos this can't be happening
reblog this everyone i wanna see what happens when op’s reverse-hubris forces them to practice basic self care.
why? because it’s funny and completely possible actually so good fucking luck op
I figured out roughly how many notes it's been getting per day and multiplied that by the number of days left until the end of 2023
If we keep it going at this rate we'll be far past 666k
IMPORTANT
Okay so clearly I've underestimated y'all
So how about we make this more interesting?
I will practise self care if this post reaches 666k BY THE END OF 2022
Op you have fuckethed with the devil this post has gained 30,000 notes since I reblogged it last night
Reblog to throw a hedge apple in OP's driveway
What the fuck is this eldritch fruit? I'm in.
It's Maclura pomifera, commonly known as the osage orange or hedge apple. It is known to be native only to a small area of Texas and the edge of Oklahoma and Arkansas. Before the invention of barbed wire, it was pruned repeatedly and shaped to make dense impenetrable hedges to contain animals.
The fruits are inedible—not poison, they're just hard and taste bad.
The wood is super-strong, burns hotter than any other wood, and is ideal for making bows!
We should just fill this post with other interesting things as reasons to reblog it
Actually I like this idea, we should do that. Here's my fun fact contribution; actual old English, what one could call Anglo-Saxon (as opposed to, for example, Shakespearean English, which a lot of people call old English but is actually antiquated modern English), is a Germanic language, and modern English shares a lot of roots with German because of that. It was also, at one point, written with runes.
The hagfish is a deep-sea fish speculated to be related to lamprey. It exudes a strange goo that is believed to be used to clog the gills of attackers. This goo has been found to be a very good substitute for egg whites in cooking.
HAGFISH SLIME EGG WHITE SUBSTITUTE???
Saponify is a word which means to Turn into Soap
Which is great cuz it means you can threaten to saponify someone and it will both confuse and frighten them!
Wizard Convention Banned Spell List 2022: Saponify
This is absolutely fucking incredible.
160,000 notes have been added since yesterday evening.
OP has well and truly Icarus'd too close to the fucking sun
op you are absolutely fucked
I'm always up for adding new knowledge into the pot!
"The jellyfish jig" is a jellyfish disease characterized by frantic, uneven swimming.
It is caused by nerve damage, subsequently due to shock by any sudden changes in water quality.
No jellyfish possesses any brain or sophisticated nervous system, but they do have a ring of nerves at the edge of their bell that controls their usually graceful and calm movement (which, by the way, is also one of the most efficient forms of movement in the animal kingdom? Jellyfish have survived longer than the dinosaurs for a reason!)
Anyway, once you encounter this, the jellyfish is pretty much as good as dead. :(. But hey, it's a condition that's rather interesting to see in captivity at least!
I too would like to use this moment to correct some common and absolutely infuriating complete misconceptions in the TenSura fandom.
Velzard is the strongest of the existing true dragons. She became Guy's partner at the request of her brother because in the event that Guy went insane she would be the sole entity capable of sealing him away at that time.
2. Of the primordials, the most/only really intelligent are the two 'males'. Guy and Diablo BOTH pride themselves on being exceedingly clever and manipulative. The other five don't care much beyond normal demon things, even with their different looks and temperaments. Guy focuses on power: but he's the farthest thing from a muscle brain. Diablo doesn't give a damn about blockheads no matter how powerful they are. He wants a clever, intelligent master. That's why he likes Rimuru.
Hello :) I really love your guy crimson head canons, especially the relationship one! I’ve read it through multiple times and I really enjoy how you characterise him and his personality, I feel that it’s pretty accurate
I couldn’t find if reqs were open or not, my bad, though what do you think of a guy crimson with an so at very similar strength to or stronger than him? (…somehow)
I remember that rudra and guy were at equal enough strength (i think), and they seemed relatively amicable
Thoughts?
(Tumblr has been eating my asks lately so I hope you don’t mind me sending this twice)
Hello there! I'm glad you liked it, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to know people love my stuff so much, :3. I way overanalyze the non-Tempest characters frequently, so I would hope my stuff seems accurate!
My bad about that, I'll make sure to add that somewhere. I completely forgot about it! And don't worry, Tumblr does that to everyone. I only got one, so I suppose it was a good idea!
Got inspired half way through and decided to try out writing quotes for each piece! I hope this is what you were looking for.
Warning: Spoilers!
-You are correct! Guy would absolutely adore a s/o stronger than him, hands down. It would be very, very difficult for that to not be the case.
-The only real way to change that is to be the kind of spiteful or jealous jerk that would make one of his last friends cry. Honestly, I don't know how one would even do that. They're all adorable, and frankly I personally would love to be a mother-figure to all of them regardless of if I'm in a relationship, but there are some out there I suppose. If you hate, dislike, insult, shun, or even so much as glare at them often it's pretty much over. This means you would have to be like Leon in personality, but quite a bit worse. This is a well known big thing with him. Upset his friends and you're toast. If he can't kill you, he can easily shun you himself. Again: only if you upset/hurt his friends. "I don't think this will be continuing any further."
-As I was saying, he would absolutely love you. Guy and Rudra were on equal terms and respected each other immensely, the only hindrance to this is the game they decided to play to figure out who was truly the best. But it doesn't really hinder their friendship, rather, it is likely the only reason the two of them didn't end up in a relationship together themselves. Milim is stronger than Guy, and they are also exceedingly close in the same way he sees most of the women in his life: like little sisters. Their relationship is completely platonic and familial, but their bond is not to be underestimated. "My s/o is unrivaled~!"
-We've established by now that gender is a social construct that Guy gives zero fucks about. This is important, because rather than gender-based decisions on which of you is the girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, or if both of you are one/switch, he believes that each individual should decide which one they want to be. The identification can be non-coralating to gender identity, but is important. Not because of roles, no. First of all: gender roles are for humans and demi-humans. Monsters/majin don't need such a stupid system. "So, which is it, dearest?"
-Really, it's all about the nicknames. Why wouldn't they be important? You can't tell me the moment the relationship officiallises, even if not yet to the point of actual marriage, he won't insist that you call each other wifey/hubby depending on the choice. You have a name? Nope, it's one or the other now. He'd also expect the same from you. Perhaps not always if it makes you really uncomfortable, but still every once in a while. He may not be clingy specifically, but he's definitely on a far end of the affectionate spectrum, and we all know which side. "My amazing wifey/Husbun should be here soon~."
Hello! If ur taking req can I ask hc Abt being rudra's lover
I just got this idea because of one of your works Abt guy having a more powerful s/o than him and that got me laughing but if ur not taking req feel free to ignore this!
No worries! Requests are on I just lack focus or motivation. I'm glad people found it funny, because I found it hilarious to write. I hope you like this one, too!
SPOILERS. This should be a given, though.
TW: Severe Rudra slander but it's okay I love him.
WN! Rudra Nam Ul Nasca
You didn't specify if Rudra was still under mind control or not, So Imma do both. Hope that's alright! And sorry if this is too vague, I suck when I'm not given specifics for some kind of frame. ;-;
Be warned, I'm not familiar with any changes the LN made to him.
You know, I was just reading some that time I got reincarnated as a slime stories, and I thought of something that I remembered was funny about your Guy Romance headcanons and the love triangle tm
Honestly, the thought of your stories just lives in my head rent free, I love them probably to an unreasonable degree, and even if you don’t upload any more stories, I’m still super thankful that you chose to write and share them with us :-) 
So about the love triangle thing, I noticed that Velzard wasn’t mentioned again in the head cannons after her initial bit. And I know that this was probably just because of the way you planned out everything and the pacing of your ideas, but I just thought that was really funny because it kind of made it sound like Velzard had just already won lmao
Guy, Rudra and rudras skill are out there smacking each other and doing god knows what over their ‘game’ and trying to win readers love whereas when Guy was busy Velzard just shimmied in and is now probably cuddling reader in bed and being all sweet together or something lmaoo 😭😂
Also the ttigraas light novel is so good??? I feel like it’s definitely a total tone shift compare to the anime, but I just wanted to share some screen caps that I thought was really funny lol
Also the guy and diablo interactions??? 10/10, was genuinely dying over them lmao
Thank you so much! I'm glad my stories can make someone's day! It means a lot to content creators to get mail like this.
SPOILERS!
On another note, you're right about that ask thing. I'm probably just as biased as always, but I feel like Velzard could get anyone she wanted if they had even a little attraction to women, lol. xD. ESPECIALLY if Guy is busy in an ego-test against Rudra. She'll just up and swoop in on them like they're the fairytale princess and she's prince charming.
While the guys are distracted, she'll definitely have all the time she needs to win s/o's heart. And she'll probably be way smoother and more charming than both of them combined, lol. (No actual hate on them, it's just playful character teasing. If I really hated them so much, they'd have never shown up unless I wrote them suffering and Angsty.)
And yea, the novel versions are the absolute peak of isekai writing. I really don't know what else to say about it. Like. How comes a bunch of words can't be described with words ;-;.
On one side of the spectrum, we have Guy: who is very openly touchy-feely and openly all over s/o or anyone he likes enough, but wouldn't worry about them all that much, the mindset of just let you do your thing as long as you don't forget about him.
Guy who pulls you onto his lap in a straddling position (though you are still much smaller, he is a large demon), hands settled loosely on your hips, your head on his chest, and his head on yours. Daring anyone to even think they can replace him. Smug fondness.
On the other side, we have Leon: Who would probably sooner die then kiss s/o if he even suspects someone else is nearby, and worries like crazy- s/o would have to sing him to sleep every night or he would freak out (internally and maybe a little openly).
Leon who pulls you into him, your smaller body encased completely by his (he is also quite large, after all), one hand on the small of your back and another the back of your head, his hold is unyielding as he buries his face into your neck and hides you from the world. Unending love.
Rocky after finding out how Grace got on the Hail Mary
Grace: So what does Adrian look like?
Rocky: *making Eridian chirping noises in excitement*
Grace: I don't quite follow. Is there any way to put that into human terms?
Rocky:.....
Rocky: "Rocky bag baddie. Statement."