for the love of the macabre

"It is over the second we are born. The very second we are born we start dying and to decay… by choosing to live we also choose to die one day…" - ryan gelpke

[nomadicwriter]

hey tumblr,

it's been a while. i am a licensed provisional funeral director and embalmer now. i love helping others. i want to be there for those that are having the worst day of their lives.

but some of these cases, i want to know more. what happened? what cased this? why aren't these questions i'm allowed to know the answers too?

i've decided i need a change. i need to know what happened to these people. why do so many people take their lives? why do so many accidents happen that end peoples lives in one second?

i'm so conflicted. if god is real how does he let this kind of pain go on? if god isn't real why is praying to him one of the key band aids in grief?

one day we will all know the truth.

[nomadicwriter]

i started my career as a mortician. i have a year left of school and i will be finishing my residency early.

hmu if u want to know how to start your journey on becoming a mortician.

ask yourself why before you jump in.

⚰️🖤

[nomadicwriter]

hey tumblr, it's been a couple years. my dreams came true.

i am a student mortician. working within a funeral home and interning at the coroners office.

and some how, i am not depressed. i am more in love with finding the truth then i've ever been.

the more i know the more i am obsessed with the unknown.

[nomadicwriter]

death of elisa lam

i feel like there has been a million post about her, but it's been 10 years since... and the story still pops into my head every so often, especially since she used to post a lot on tumblr. it's actually the reason I'm even on this social media platform. i wanted to see what she posted in her last moments and now i'm stuck here. wanting to write about my thoughts, incase it's the last thing outsiders see of me.

assuming that you already know the story of Elisa Lam, who went missing, only to be found 18 days later, trapped inside a water tank on top of a suicide prone hotel. you'd be thinking one specific thing is weird. what makes a place more prone to suicide??? like Aokigahara, better known as the Suicide Forest. a few guest at the Hotel Cecil had committed suicide by jumping off the building. but was suicide the case with Elisa?

Elisa was diagnosed with bipolar and was heavily medicated because of it. (corner found no drugs in her system when she was found.) so considering the circumstances... hotel known for suicide annnddd her being bipolar, you would instantly assumed that it really was just suicide. BUT in order to have gotten on the roof, she would have to do one of two things. 1.) opened a locked door, that sets off an alarm or 2.) climbed the fire escape. no alarm was heard, so... we'd assume it was the fire escape, which is still mildly insane to do so. which isn't even the weird part to me. when maintenance found her, she was naked inside the water tank. so not only had she climbed a 10 foot ladder to get in but she had completely stripped.. INSIDE the water tank, because the clothes were found in the tank with her. the even stranger part was that the 20 lb lid to the water tank was also shut. how did she shut it from the inside? did she really undress while she was swimming inside the water tank? so now the question is did she kill herself, was she murdered, or is it something more sinister?

i still think about Elisa. i wish we fully understood her story. i wish there was more closure for her family.

her tumblr @nouvelle-nouveau

edit: it's been a couple years. i still think about you Elisa.