Truth Hurts by Lizzo in Netflix’s “Someone Great”

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@nomorelostthoughts
Truth Hurts by Lizzo in Netflix’s “Someone Great”
I start not thinking about you, and end up thinking about you.
#1
I dont really know what I am doing. Im just typing, hoping for the best.
I spend my days caring for others mental health both at work, and in my home. Everyone leans on me, either as client or as a friend. They know my educational background and my career experience and figure that I can help them, but when do I get to help myself. I will always find a reason to say yes I’m just that person. A yes person. I say yes even when I want to say no, when others have all said no, when everyone says I should say no, even when I need to say no, I say yes.
No to me is too final. For person like me, a yes person, no means its over, that it’s the end. But what if that no ends up hurting someone, killing someone, ruining a chance, a relationship or a opportunity.
No means no, and not every situation allows a no to be taken back because while I know that it is not always final, sometimes it is. And that, that is what is what makes me a yes person.
I am not the girl who made this account 4 years ago.
I am now a woman with a career, business, and life.
But, here I find myself again, on this site, seeking comfort in typing words that maybe no one will ever read.
For those of you who are actually reading, I’ll be taking this blog in a new direction now.
I am now a therapist (holy shit right?), I am responsible for the mental health of youth eery single day, and yet I still struggle getting a handle on my own.
I know all the terms for what I am feeling.
I know where in the DSM I land.
I know my ASAM levels for each dimension.
I even know what type of therapeutic treatment I should relieve in order to see progress.
But it’s not that easy.
I am good at my job, like really fucking great at my job. I help kids, everyday I help them.
But helping myself, that’s something I am not as great at.
So here I am, hoping typing out and recording my feelings, thoughts, and life experiences will not only help me, but maybe in the long run, help me help someone else even more.
Nobody is as inspirational as Brooke Penelope Davis. She went from the girl in high school who didn’t know herself enough to respect herself. She put up this shallow front to hide the fact that her parents sucked and were neglectful to her as a human being. She didn’t know how to accept love from other people. Her best friend was the only constant source of love in her life, which was probably why the two girls fought so often. Peyton was her friend, her sister, her everything. Sure Brooke has boyfriends and boys who wanted to get into her pants, but did they really care or know her? No. Not even Lucas took the time to truly know her at first. Brooke was fine with how her life was, until she wasn’t.
She lost her money which had always been apart of her identity. She was always the rich bitch who could do whatever she wanted, then suddenly she was one of the poor people, the people who had to have more than a pretty face to be interesting.
She turned her love of fashion and her talents of creativity to make her own business in high school. Boyfriends came and went, best friends fought and made up. But she was finally knowing herself better than she had in years.
She had her heart broken still, and she didn’t have her best friend for a while. But she did have her business.
She had no idea what the heck she was going to do when she graduated. There was no plan at all. She thought she was going to fail school and life after it.
Yet we see during the four years after graduation she’s built her little high school business into a fashion empire, including her own magazine. She made a multi million dollar company after losing everything and not having a clue what to do with her life.
She didn’t worry about her love life and focused on herself and everything she achieved.
She wanted one thing that she didn’t already have and that was to be a mother.
She was only 22 and single so it was pretty hard considering that on paper she wasn’t entirely mother material. Yet she wasn’t going to give up, instead she took in a teenager after that said teenager was caught shoplifting from her store. The same teenager who caused her trouble for months, but even through all the difficulty Brooke was the only mother figure she ever had. Brooke changed her life with the kindness of her own heart.
Brooke hadn’t felt like she could be loved for a long time. Yet there she had given her heart to a homeless teen, and eventually a man who loved her more than life.
She was all set to adopt this girl who had become her family, until she found her biological mother.
Brooke didn’t let her heartbreak get her down though.
She nearly lost the man she loved too. But she didn’t.
When her own mother had ruined her company’s reputation and gone to jail for it. Brooke gave up every asset she owned to make sure everyone of her investors got every cent they deserved back. She was broke again.
Except unlike high school Brooke, this Brooke wasn’t lost without her money. She was stronger for it.
She might never be able to have biological children with her husband but she didn’t take that as a sign to give up. She wanted to be a mother so she was going to be one. She was going to adopt, and even when the mother of her almost baby decided to keep her child. Brooke put her friends first, and even though her spirits were down, she still wanted to make the most of her life.
Of course she did eventually get her happy ending. Her miracle pregnancy, and her parents finally noticing her. Brooke Davis is the definition of character development and an inspiration.
Last year, we sit on a beach and I told you how much I loved you. And how I would always, always protect you. That day nobody believed that this would work. But I don’t think anybody understood the love I had for you. Because if they did, they would have never doubted us. So I wanted to marry you all over again in front of most of our world. Because today, when I look into your eyes, my love for you only grows. It’s even stronger now. My love will never waver. And this I vow to you, today, and always and forever.
How odd it is to grieve the loss of a person who is still alive.
I really fucking miss you. (via helplesslydreamingx)
http://iglovequotes.net/
Yh same…
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we were so in love once now this emptiness feels so heavy sometimes i miss you sometimes you never existed the scars fade for a while but they come back again sometimes i love you sometimes i never met you at all we were so happy once now we are nothing
k.m (via fluohrine)
1:17 am I want to tell you I miss you, but I’m afraid once I utter those three little words. You’ll finally know I care for you more than I should.
when night falls and cold air brushes against my skin, that’s when I miss you the most // A.H. 0:42 am series (via tender-souls)
He is art to me; I’m a blank canvas to him.
33 out of a thousand entries i’ll be writing about you. (via permanent-ink-and-paper)
sometimes all you can do is lie in bed and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart
(via blxckvision)
I miss him more than ive ever missed
Me 2:55pm (via gone-like-a-suicide-2)
You need a private talk? Just message me(send me an ask)
I have been sick to my stomach for months because I can't get over a heartbreak. I become like legit nauseous when I think about him, and I think about him 24/7 so I am always feeling like shit, all because I was stupid to think that being in love would worth it.
brooke davis + season nine: quotes, part 2