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EXPECTATIONS

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@noneyah1251
Home Is In The 90ās
Earth side is starting to feel like
the wrong side,
and I want to go home
to a place I know
with landline phones.
Home is in the ā90s,
where life felt right.
Everything felt simpler
under a dim kitchen light.
My pillow was always cold,
and I slept through the night.
I still ate tv dinners
and my mother was still alive.
People felt kinder
and everyone flashed peace signs.
Temporary tattoos, buttons,
and tye-dye.
Everything felt possible
in the endless summertime.
Oh me, oh my,
I miss the good times,
Take me back to the ā90s,
with a Walkman
and late night fireflies.
I Did It
I did it,
I did it again.
I said too much
and then pressed send.
A neurotic big mouth
that never knows when to quit.
Sometimes I canāt help but wonder
if Iām to blame for all of it.
You never reply,
but I know why.
Even being a thousand miles away
I can still see
the bitterness for me
in your eyes.
Always reminding me I go too far,
my words are like weapons,
and youāre left
to carry their scars.
July Heat
July heat
has me beat,
and the long days
never stray.
Showing up every day,
all I can do
is look to the sky & pray.
Everything has changed
except for the rain,
droughtās at bay,
but I stand here
the same.
Washing away the pleasure
& pain.
Life is insane.
So am I.
I survive.
I survive.
I survive.
& I survive.
I will survive,
until I die.
Like the heat
that has me beat,
I stand in its war and peace,
letting it wash over me
with ease.
#notesapppoetry
Sweet Boy Blue
Streets lined withāØtrees and lights,āØlate-night bike rides.āØI love to hit rewindāØwhen I close my eyes,āØbecause I can still seeāØyoursāØstaring back into mine.
The way we'd drift into the night,āØvanishing in plain sight.
Following the moonlightāØwherever we'd go.āØYou wrote me songs on the guitarāØand woke me from my sleepāØwith the piano.
I still sing the songsāØyou wrote for meāØwhen I put myself to sleep.
An engraved lullaby, in my favorite key.
My sweet boy blue,āØthat became my thing two;āØCould you ever forgive me,āØand let me sing for you too?
Imaginary Friends
I sit in my big green chair every night,
circling back to the past with my imaginary friends
because I can't seem to make sense of the present.
It's unnatural, but déjà vu-like.
Remnants of nostalgia
are everywhere I look,
yet always found
under the dim kitchen light.
I ping-pong between people, places, and things.
Together we laugh,
we cry,
and we scream,
trying to make sense
of nothing and everything
at the same time.
I know no one else can see them,
but they're real to me.
They were a part of my past,
and we have unfinished business.
Getting it right this time,
they say it's like taking your soul
to the laundromat when you cry.
So we cry every night,
because in the past we would fight.
This time,
we'll get it done.
We'll end this thing right.
It always ends with a hug
and a kiss on my cheek.
Goodnight.
Sitting in my big green chair,
I talk to my imaginary friends
every night.
ā¤ļøRed š¤White šBlue
Red lip gloss, white polka dots,
blue dress.
You rested your head
against my chest.
White-hot, sticky
American night,
I knew you were mine
that the Fourth of July.
The fireworks in the sky
were a sign of the times.
Iād never want to look away
from those brown doe eyes.
Release and Untether
Summer bummer,
when you're stuck inside
because it's hot, hot, hot.
I miss the big freeze
when everything just stops.
Summer is nice,
but mosquitoes are the price
you pay
for walks around the lakes.
The water is so clear,
when you peer inside,
you can watch a fish swim
under the sunlight!
Muskrats line the edge of the water
while the geese patrol
their way through town.
Spring brought them new little lives,
and they will make sure they
remain safe and sound.
The bunnies bounce at my feet
always playing games.
Teasing my dog, making his day.
We love to watch them
as much as we love to
watch the falling leaves.
Fall is always welcomed in these parts.
A break from the sun
is something we always need.
It reminds you to get rest
and lay low.
Before long,
the wind will shift
and then
everything will be blanketed
in snow.
A dusting always comes first.
Then it picks up and gets
worse and worse,
taking over everything all
through the day and night,
painting the town in shades of white.
About this time is when
a lot of Minnesotans
go back inside.
But not I, my dog,
and a brave select few.
Because seasons are the reason
we learn to embrace change.
Like Mother Nature says,
itāll be okay.
If you try,
youāll begin to learn her ways,
just as you learn her weather.
Itās all part of lifeās process,
and we must allow our hearts
to release and untether.
Turns Out
You said you thought
your future was me.
Turns out you were wrong.
Turns out we both were,
all along.
Attachment issues
at their best,
based on unhealed wounds
from our treacherous youth.
We were both two kids
in a trench coat,
me standing
on top of you.
Always trying to figure
it out,
but never knowing anything.
Always fighting,
push and pull because
I wanted your everything,
and you wanted my neutrality.
Neutrality
to infidelity and drugs,
neutrality
to do whatever youād want.
To your eternal blues,
and backdoor love.
Hiding me behind corners
and public side hugs.
And then there was me
wanting to control
your family, you mood
your mind, your soul.
A storm of final blows
that ended it all,
because if that was eternity,
neither one of us
would ever want to grow old.
Stranger In My Dreams
- Friday Night Limerence
A stranger comes
to me every night
in my dreams,
to sing me to sleep.
A simple kind of melancholy
a requiem of curiosity.
Lucid,
I wonder:
could this ever
play out for me?
This dance inside my head
will not rest,
yet itās my favorite scene.
A night inside my mind
sounds good to me,
if itās your cheeks
I see
smiling back at me.
š»Scooby Dooā®ļø
I try,
sometimes I donāt know why,
even though Iām scared.
Scared to move,
scared to prove,
scared to love,
and scared of you, too.
Some people have called me scary.
Others have called me,
Scooby Doo.
I do say,
I do stay
removing masks,
because I finally removed mine.
Since then,
a lot of people donāt understand me,
but thatās alright.
Life is jinkies and
big girls donāt cry.
Everything is just a mystery
that we are all trying to solve.
Nothing could be as spooky,
as never trying at all.
Peace and Quiet?
I sit here in peace,
in the blue hour glow
cascading from my window.
Overwhelmed by a feeling
so enchanting,
itās almost hard to enjoy.
So much so,
it inevitably drenches
me in reality.
My mind knows
fairy-tale feelings
are for Disney.
And I live in the real world.
Where children across the sea
are used as artillery,
and women are forbidden
to be seen.
Some people have never known
any kind of family.
Some will never know peace,
or quiet.
I canāt save them
by refusing to live.
But I can honor them by
trying to live,
and leaving this hell,
and trying to help,
by making sense of
what I can.
As for one thing in life
thatās never up for chance:
when we close our eyes
for the very last time,
every living creature
will know peace and quiet.
Cunt
When I lie in bed with you,
I never have too much to say.
Naturally, you take control of the room,
then you take me too.
Everything always feels brand new.
I donāt think you understand
what all women can go through.
Weāre always damned if we do,
damned if we donāt.
Standing tall on our own
weāve got it under control.
I donāt want to be a wife
or a one-night stand,
I want to be experienced,
I want modern romance.
You meet me in the middle,
somewhere between
heaven and a dream.
You donāt care where Iāve been,
you just want to go with me.
I donāt know what I need,
but youāre what I want.
Only real men can handle
a bitch,
who identifies as a cunt.
š¦Little Butterflyš¦
My little butterfly,
donāt forget to love
your wings
or how to fly.
They can take you
anywhere,
even further than
the sky.
Oh, my little butterfly,
getting lost
within your own head,
donāt forget to stop
and take a breath.
Born to fly,
I promise
youāll be alright.
Just close your eyes
and float towards the sky
and its great big lights!
Little butterfly,
with your big bright eyes,
dancing across
my big blue sky,
never stop reaching
beyond your might,
for that is how you
build a free life!
š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦š¦
Protagonist
I would hurt you,
then lie,
over and over again.
Then fall to my knees
to repent.
A big show of emotions
and promises to change.
New paths
with no tears of pain.
Every other day
I was chasing a new place
on the horizon.
I plotted and schemed,
got lazy,
and would lean.
Tried so hard,
too fast,
Iād get delirious and confused,
living for you
to love me.
I got so lost
I lost you and me.
I was this constant
protagonist
chasing insanity.
Now I sit alone
left recanting.
The final blow to the
entire thing:
someone had to pay
the price,
and that person was me.